(TIM NELSON places his last ornament on his Christmas tree. COREY SMITH enters from the bathroom. MATT COOPER is sitting on the couch watching Television.)
Corey-Good luck finding something to watch. It’s Christmas, everything’s going to be Christmas themed.
Matt-(Ignoring COREY and over to TIM) Thank you Tim for inviting us over for Christmas. It really means a lot that you let us be here.
Tim-Well, we’re all friends here. You’re like family.
Corey-(To himself) We are the weirdest family ever… (Starts to move for the fridge.) Tim, you bought eggnog right?
Tim-Second shelf.
Corey-Right on!!! (He opens the fridge and staring back at him in fear are all 4 TIMMYs. He unemotionally stares back at them before reaching for the eggnog. He closes the fridge and then begins to drink from the carton. He then spews the liquid from his mouth as to finally understanding what he saw. He immediately swings the door back open to find none of the TIMMYs he saw before.)
Matt-Hey, are you alright?
Tim-(Sadly) Did I buy expired eggnog again?
Corey-(Closing the fridge)Uh-no…no, just…a mouse… (ZECH the mouse scurries across the floor)
Zech-Pardon?
Tim-(Shrieks) A MOUSE!!!
Matt-Tim, it’s Zech…our office mouse? (To ZECH) Not that we’re not happy to see you, but how’d you get here?
Zech-I hitched a ride on Tim’s little man purse. I don’t get out of the office much.
Matt-(sarcastically) You’re telling me…
Zech-Jolly good Christmas to you all.

(Yellow pokes his head out from the box.)
Yellow-Come on! I’m tired of sitting in this stuffy ol box.
Green-Well, we can’t go out much anymore…we nearly were revealed by the fat one!
(BLUE peeks out of the box and then is mesmerized by the glowing Christmas tree.)
Blue-whooooooooaaaaaaaaaa….
Green-(Realizing BLUE’s looking at the Christmas tree.) Ah-yes…Christmas, the most spirited holiday of the year. Formally named after the good lord himself.
Yellow-(Pauses)…that doesn’t make any sense…
Green-How doesn’t it? His name is in the holiday’s name.
Yellow-How does Santa fit into Christmas?
Green-I’m talking about the lord? Jesus Christ…?
Yellow-…I don’t get it…
Red-Popping up from the box. Christmas! CHRIST-mas…it has CHRIST in the name!!! And besides, I think Christmas is the WORSE holiday of the year. Next to Valentine’s Day, Easter, Halloween,St.Patricks day-
Green-I like that holiday.
Red-Point is-I HATE Christmas. Never liked it! Never will!
Blue-Hey hey! Isn’t there a name for that, man?
Yellow-Yeah, like a-uh…Krueger or something…
Green-(Staring at RED) It’s called a Scrooge…(Walks towards RED) You mean it, you really don’t like Christmas?
Red-I didn’t say that.
Green-So you like it-
Red-I HATE IT!!!
Green-…oh…
Red-If you wouldn’t mind, please reframe from talking about any and all things…Christmas!
(GREEN nods his head in agreement and begins to slowly make his way back down into the box.)

(YELLOW looks over at the ornaments on the tree and hatches an idea.)
Yellow-Guys, would you wanna hang in this box all night or have a lil fun?
Green-(Groans)
Blue-What do you mean?
Yellow-I have an idea…(YELLOW attaches a hook to his head and starts to rush towards the tree.) Follow meeeeeeee!!!
Blue-Aw man, I am stoked!
(GREEN looks over at RED with encouragement, but is soon denied with a scoff.)
Green-…you are more than welcome to join us. I think Yellow is trying to turn us into ornaments. Should be fun…? (Tries to smile, but gives into RED’s look.) We’ll be back in a few. Please stay in the b-
Red-Stop talking to me! And leave me alone… (GREEN whimpers, but soon leaves RED alone.)

Yellow-This has got to be my greatest idea ever hatched!
Blue-I totally agree man! You’ve come up with some awesome ones too.
Yellow-Thank you! It’s high time someone recognizes me for my additions to our fun. (GREEN slowly approaches the two staring at the ground.)
Green-Is it normal for someone to hate Christmas the way Red does?
Blue-he hates Christmas?
Yellow-Ah, the guy’s a traveling rain cloud. I wouldn’t let ALL his Debbie Downer moments get to ya. (He then claps his hands together and gazes at the tree.) Now it’s time to hang…(Looks down at his toes to only see stubs.)…one. (He leaps off the counter top onto the tree. BLUE hops up and down in excitement.)
Blue-Me next! Me next!!!!
Green-(Sadly)…go for it. I’m not in a very cheery mood…
Blue-(Ignoring the downed mood of GREEN) OKAY!!! (He also leaps forward onto the tree, but falls a couple of branches downward to the ground before finally stopping.) I’m okay!!
(GREEN nods and slowly walks away.)
Green-(To himself) You’re a mean one, Mr.Grinch
You really are a heal
You’re as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel, Mr.Grinch
You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peal

You’re a monster, Mr.Grinch
Your hearts an empty hole
Your brain is spiders. You’ve got garlic in your soul, Mr.Grinch (GREEN looks up at RED who is peering over the box top.)
I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole.
Red-Problem?
Green-…why do you not like Christmas?
Red-UGH!!! (Lowers himself back into the box.) Don’t ask…
Green-But it’s the happiest time of the year! I just don’t understand how someone can be so grouchy!
Red-(Rising from the box) I’m a monster, the Mr.Grinch
I’m a nasty wasty scum
My soul is full of unwashed socks, my heart is full of gunk, the Mr.Grinch
Green-The three words that best describe you are as follows-
Blue-Stink,stank,stunk! (Laughs)

(YELLOW and BLUE are swinging happily in the tree. YELLOW gazes at the fire with wonder in his eyes.)
Yellow-I think, the best part of winter, is sitting in front of the fire roasting marshmellows and drinking hot chocolate!
Blue-(Pauses)…dude, it’s called winter for a reason man. It snows, we make snowmen and have snow ball fights! All which have the word snow in them.
Yellow-It also makes sense why there are fires during this season. To stay out of the cold!
Blue-The cold is so rad man!!!
Yellow-The cold is…cold
(The next moment, they are both imagining themselves in a split room between things hot and cold. YELLOW enters with a red top hat and bedazzled red cane.)
Yellow-I’m Mr.Heat Christmas, I’m Mr.Sun
I’m Mr.Green Christmas, I’m Mr.hundred and one
Friends call me heat miser
Whatever I touch starts to melt in my clutch
HA! I’m too much
(YELLOW dances about on stage as BLUE strolls on with a white fedora and a light blue walking bedazzled cane.)
Blue-Step aside man. It’s my turn…
I’m Mr.Ice Christmas, I’m Mr.Snow
I’m Mr.White Christmas, I’m Mr.ten below
Friends call me Snow Miser
Whatever I touch turns to snow in my clutch
HA! I’M too much
Yellow-I never wanna see a day that’s-
Blue-That’s over forty degrees!
I’d rather have it thirty,twenty,ten-
Yellow-ONE HUNDRED DEGREES!!!!
Red-He’s Mr.Ice Christmas
Yellow-He’s Mr.Sun
Both-I’m Mr.(White,Green) Christmas
I’m Mr.(Ten Below, Hundred and One)
Friends call me (Snow,Heat) Miser
Whatever I touch (Turns to snow, starts to melt) in my clutch
We’re too much
TOO MUCH!!!
(Reality comes back to the both of them as they are still both hanging in the Christmas tree.)
Blue-Man, I love a good musical number…
Yellow-Agreeeeeeeed! I’d high five you if I could reach right now.
Blue-The thought is what counts man!
Yellow-….now, how do we get down from here…?
(GREEN stands outside of the box leaning against it.)
Green-You nauseate me, Mr.Grinch
With a nauseous super naus
You’re a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked hoss Mr.Grinch
You’re a three-decker
Sauer kraut and toadstool sandwhich
With…with…
Red-(Rising from the box) with arsenic sauce!!! Stop singing show tunes!!!!! It’s driving me crazy!!! (Lowers back into the box.)
Green- I just don’t get it! Why don’t you like Christmas.
Red-(Rises) Do you really wanna know why I DON’T like Christmas?
Green-yes
Red-Do you really?
Green-YES!
Red-It’s painful! People bicker! We waste our money on things that will never be used for more than an hour! We have to spend time with people we HATE! We trust a jolly fat guy to intrude in on our house and eat our food! There’s songs! There’s tunes! There’s noises and things! There’s things that rattle and there are things that ring…(catches himself rhyming) AND RHYME!!!! There’s carolers, there’s cookies, there’s carrots and milk….all which lil hopeful children leave for a guy driven by elk!!!!
Green-…you rhymed ag-
Red-I KNOW WHAT I DID!!!!
Green-Can I at least give you a present?
Red-Did you not just hear ALL that I said!!!???
Green-Yes, but that was after I already got you something…(He pulls out a fully colored red candy cane.) I got one for all of us…all which match our colors.
Yellow-(From a distance) Is that a large candy stick!?
Green-(Annoyed)…yes, it is…
Yellow-NICE!
Blue-Classic…
Green-have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on your troubles will be out of sight
Yellow-Jingle bells
Blue-Jingle bells
Both Yellow and Blue-Jingle all the way
Green-Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the Yule tide gay
From now on our troubles will be miles away
Yellow-oh what fun
Blue-It is to ride
All but Red-In a one horse-open sleigh…

Red-(Holding the candy cane) I-uh…don’t know what to say…
Green-Just…promise me, you’ll-
Yellow-Come hang with us on the tree!!!
Blue-(Looking around)…literally!
(RED looks over at YELLOW and BLUE.)
Yellow-It’s fun!!!
Blue-We just…don’t know how exactly to get down…
(RED looks back down at his candy cane while a tear rolls down his cheek.)
Red-(Pauses) Why did you do this…?
Green-Whether we’re all different and have our ways…we’re still a family…and I love you.
Red-(Pulling away from an emotional moment quickly) Alright, you ruined it…(He hops out of the box and starts to head over to the tree. He stops and turns to GREEN.)…Merry Christmas…

(The four of them are all now hanging on the tree. COREY goes over to the tree and then glances out the window.)
Corey-Guys! It’s snowing!!!
Matt-Really?! (Rushes over to the window.)
Tim-(Laughs)…what’s snow? (TIM and MATT look out the window as COREY looks back at the tree and notices the colors hanging. YELLOW smiles and gives a small wave to COREY then remains still. COREY shakes his head and rubs his eyes.)
Corey-(Looking down at his glass)…too much eggnog…
END