As you wander through the library, you’ll see students flailing their arms, throwing around the idea of suicide as a dramatic joke—for the most part.
With finals rapidly approaching, some students are increasing their seasonal anxiety with every night spent cramming a semester’s worth of knowledge; others, such as sophomore Hannah Patz, are faced with the same level of anxiety; the difference is, they face this without the help of standardized tests.
Patz, 16, was diagnosed with Clinical Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder at 14. “I learned about the symptoms of Depression in eighth grade health class,” Patz said with a shrug as she applied make-up, “I assumed I had it, but I never really told anyone about it.”
And she wasn’t alone: According to the CDC, 20 percent of 9-17 year-olds are diagnosed with some form of mental illness; in a survey taken, 43 percent of Saint Charles East High School’s students have at least one.
“It [the problems] was kept all private and it became overwhelming,” Patz said, “I would tell my friends sometimes and my parents noticed. They started blaming for how I was—irritable, didn’t talk… I eventually told them that if it weren’t for my friends being there, I would’ve gotten my dad’s gun and shot myself in the head.”
Patz was admitted into a psychiatric hospital and stayed for a month.
At Mercy Hospital in Aurora, Illinois, Patz made friends from her support group. “I got unconscious support from other kids [in the support group] from just being there next to them, and you just feel less alone.”
Although this is common, since one in every seven East students have Depression, and one in every six have Anxiety, the topic of mental illness is labeled as taboo by society.
Working as a social worker at East High for 10 years, offering both individual and group support similar to Patz’s support group at the mental hospital, Courtney Pupich takes care of students with a variety of social/mental illnesses. Pupich said, “Having suicidal thoughts is not rare, and we shouldn’t be scared to talk about it.”
According to Michael Fields, a wellness instructor at East and Wredling Middle School, “If you talk to someone about suicide and mental illness, they go, ‘I’m not anywhere near that’ and ‘I’m sorry’ and instantly leave it alone. Students, and even some teachers, don’t know how to react.”
Patz faced these struggles when returning to school after her third hospitalization during Sophomore year.  Because she was worried that nobody would understand, Patz told only a few friends about her month-long absence from school.
“I didn’t think they’d understand. I was afraid of rejection,” she said.
The survey shows that 87 percent of students know of someone who has had repetitive thoughts, attempted, or committed suicide.
Pupich said, “They [those who have suicidal thoughts] don’t wanna die; they just want their pain to end.”
“Most teachers were really helpful and helped me get through it,” Patz admitted, “but my English teacher struggled to accept and help me.”
Students similar to Patz are offered IEPs, Individual Education Programs, a system that offers flexibility according to the particular child’s conditions.
“I have around 60 caseloads [students with IEPs], 30 non-IEP but regularly-seen, and 5 to 10 lingering students in my office per year,” Pupich says.
East offers a variety of programs along with IEPs which work with local hospitals. This includes:
Inpatient care: Students such as Patz may take a leave of absence from school to recover at a designated mental health care center.
Outpatient care: A student visits a medical professional almost daily without exemption from school.
Partial care: If necessary, students with mental illnesses spend half of their day at school, and the other half at a mental health center.
In-school therapeutic care: From group therapy to individual therapy, students and social workers collaborate with medical groups, the Batavia Suicide Prevention Services noted as most helpful to East students, to evaluate and offer medical services to students in need. This may be as temporary as one evaluation to a year-long therapeutic service.
In her years of working with students, Pupich felt connected with them. “It feels like I’ve graduated 1,000 times because I’m just so emotionally involved with them,” Pupich said, “I mean, even when a student says, ‘Thank you’, it’s the greatest feeling in the world because you’ve guided them toward the light.”
Similar to most of Pupich’s students with IEPs, Patz’s neurological-psychological illnesses have not disappeared. “I’m standing in the bathroom with a razor and I’m just like, ‘I can just slice off my arms’ it’s like no problem. But you gotta think of the repercussion and the scars.”
Still seeing a therapist and taking medication, Patz learned lessons from her three hospitalizations. “At the base, it’s about self-respect and finding some things that are good for you and being around people who are good for you.” She said, looking at her compact mirror in concentration, “You gotta stay in the moment and be mindful. You don’t wanna think too much about the past or too much about the future.”