It’s hard finding a solid coach since almost all coaches have some flaw. Most coaches either don’t relate with their players, don’t have a positive attitude, can’t control their players, or are uninspiring (and some don’t do any of those). But I was blessed with Coach Paradowski.

I stood in the gym two weeks before freshman year. I had made the freshman volleyball team. I was excited to not only be on the team, but to make new friends and to get to know the school before I started my freshman year. Not only that, but I was one of the two captains on the team too.

My coach walked into the gym. She was no more than 5’ 5”, but with a loud booming voice. Her voice itself was a megaphone. She was assertive and confident in everything she said, which contrasted the shy freshmen on the team, too scared to speak a word. She said, “know and accept your role on the team” but more importantly, she said we should “always have a positive mindset.”

We were a respectable team. We put up a fight with most the other teams, keeping scores close. We were within reach of a win in a lot of games. But, in one game early in the season, our team played badly, myself included. We all made careless mistakes (like hitting the ball out of bounds and missing easy passes). I tried to help encourage the team and stay positive, but it didn’t work. We were getting crushed.

When it was my turn to serve, it sailed into the net, dropping to the ground, and my head dropped with it. Right after that, Coach Paradowski subbed me out of the game. I shook my head in disgust, walking to the bench.

She stopped me before I sat on the bench. “What happened out there?”

“What do you mean? I missed a serve.”

“No, missing the serve had nothing to do with you getting subbed out. I wouldn’t care if you were playing badly, but you hung your head. You had a bad attitude. You were setting a bad tone. You didn’t believe in the team. I need more from a team captain.”

Confused, I thought about what she said for the rest of the game. So I literally could have missed every serve, missed every pass, hit the ball out of bounds, and not gotten benched? Previous coaches would bench me immediately if I made an error. But apparently not Coach Paradowski.

That was her motto the entire season. “Have a good attitude.” She never benched anyone unless their attitude was negative. And it worked. We were soon working together as a team, encouraging each other more, not caring if we made mistakes. We were winning more games.

She understood us as players. After all, she was the associate principal of a high school, so it was easy for her to relate to us high school students. She learned our personalities and tendencies, and would talk to us accordingly. She helped the shy ones have a voice while keeping the troublemakers in their place. As for me, my fiery competitive personality would get the best of me at times, but she knew what to do to calm me down.

But what set coach Paradowski apart from other coaches is that Paradowski’s first priority was making us better people. She couldn’t have cared less if we lost every game. All she cared about is that we kept our head held high, regardless of the score. She wanted us to have a good attitude, no matter how much adversity we were facing. That’s a lesson I’m never going to forget—one far more important than any other coach has taught me.

Sure, we only won a little less than half of the games we played that year. Sure, we didn’t beat our rivals Kettle Moraine or CMH at the Conference Tournament. Sure, we weren’t the best team in any gym we played in, but none of that mattered. I was proud to be on that team, and I was happy with what we were able to accomplish. I knew I wasn’t going to have a coach like Paradowski ever again, and I am blessed to have had her as a coach.

I still see her once in a while, though not much anymore since I am at a different campus. But when I do see her, she lightens my mood. She always says hello and checks in on how life is, how it is being a sophomore or junior (or soon a senior). She’s someone I’m never going to forget.