“It’s just so hard knowing he’s listening but not changing his behavior in the slightest like I ask,” I mumble to my boss at Reichl and Kolstad Orthodontics. I start to cry as I tell Nicki how I’m feeling and how my boyfriend is not putting in the same effort as me, a reasonable amount of effort I know he’s capable of. She just listens, gazing softly with open arms.  

I know we’re young and most relationships our age don’t last…but I count on my relationship to work. We’ve been together since he was 15 and I was 16; we’ve grown up together. Who’s to say we won’t last when most of the orthodontist assistants I work with have been with their spouses since they were in high school too?

Nicki tells me stories of her in high school. She is such a fun person to be around. She was a cheerleader, under the lights every Friday night for football games. Dressed to impress, glitter makeup, hair up with bouncy curls. She started dating one of her best friends at 19; they had a baby at 21 and got married a year later. They’ve been together for 20 years; I have my heart set on doing the same. 

In all honesty Nicki and I became close very fast. I met Nicki when I was 16; it's been over two years.  I tell her everything and she’ll confide in me too. “I don’t think anyone actually knows how much to do for this family. No one appreciates me.” I listen to her with open arms, gazing softly praying her family will acknowledge all she does. 

“I used to think you could learn to feel empathy, but now I think you’re either born with it or you’re not.” Nicki sighs as she packs up for the day. I listen as she talks to me about her family and how her son and husband both aren’t empathetic. 

I make sure to be a good listener, hoping my eye contact and body language shows that I care. She’s so easy to listen to and talk to. I feel so understood when she talks about her life and I talk about mine. We just get each other in ways I never knew were possible. She makes me believe it’s okay to cry and be frustrated with the person I love and that doesn’t mean I love them any less.