The only time she felt truly comfortable was when she was alone. Alone was a place where she would never be judged, never be ridiculed, and never be dismissed. Being alone to her was alleviating. She would always sit and wait in her car until the very last minute before the practice started so she wouldn’t have to face the reality of what is behind those closed glass doors. She would walk in with her head held high and a smile on her face so nobody would see how the snake really made her feel inside. Nervous, anxious, broken.

As she walks in, a pit begins to fill her stomach as she passes by the snake. The snake whose venom does more harm than a gun. The pit turns and topples and swirls all around sinking deeper and deeper into the center of her soul crushing it more and more like a rock beating scissors in a game of rock- paper-scissors. She can feel the snake’s laser eyes carving their way into her from behind when they are warming up. Sometimes she wondered if the snake was warming up her body or simply warming up her black hole of a heart to be ready to use when they were dismissed. For a team whose motto is “Stronger Together,” it sure seemed like it should have been, “ I am Stronger.”

“Sometimes it’s lonely at the top,” people would say to her using this as an excuse to why they had been so primitive. But this was no excuse for all of the spread rumors, haughty looks, and attempts at sabotaging her chance at recognition for her hard work.  The snake wanted glory and would stop at nothing for it. The snake never understood the saying that, “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work at all.”

The tears that she cried could have filled an entire bathtub all the way to the rim. Tears that should have been saved for someone more worthy. The snake didn’t deserve the tears yet she gained some each week. It was no longer worth the energy to put up with the hissing and the games the snake would bring. Something had to change.

Then by the grace of God, she was given the opportunity of a lifetime. She would be able to start over. She was blessed with a new community with new people and a new outlook on life. She would never have to speak to the snake again. Sure their eyes would meet at the grocery store, or in restaurants, or on the streets of Austin somewhere, but nobody would ever take away what she now had… happiness. The battle that had been fought for some two years was neither won nor lost. Some might call it a truce or even a surrender, but I (the victim of the snake) call it fate.