Happiness was the Outer Banks.  The salty air that stung my nose, the violent waves that crashed against the sand, late night walks on the beach and the stars that I wanted to sleep under every night.  I never wanted to leave, but I had to cherish what I had in that moment before it was gone.

My muscles ached from the extremely cramped car ride down to the beach.  The hours seemed endless, and I just wanted to feel the sun on my skin. We drove mile after mile until we finally reached our beach house in North Carolina.  Right away I could see the ocean peeking out from behind the house.

“Grab your bags, and bring them up to the house before you do anything else,” My mother said sternly.

My legs did not obey.  They were out the car door, sprinting down to the water, pulling me in until I was waist deep and my clothes were soaked. Wave after wave splashed over me as I drove my head underwater. When I emerged, the heat dried my skin almost entirely. I was left with that salty smell, and my skin sticky with tiny droplets of saltwater.  My hair became a mess of unruly, damp curls blowing in the breeze. I turn around, only to see my angry mother.

“Julia, you can’t just run off after I tell you to do something,” my mom said, annoyed. “Come up here now.  Put your bags in the house.”

I dragged my wet feet back up to the car with dry sand clinging to them.

I thought about the beach all day.  I was stuck inside the beach house unpacking and longing to be in the water.  My sister Lexi was sitting on her bed beside me, folding and putting her clothes in her dresser.  She looked just as miserable as I did.

“Lexi,” I whispered. “I have an idea.” The corners of her mouth slowly lifted as I unfolded my plan.

Later that night, Lexi and I snuck down to the beach while my family was at the dining room table, laughing about who-knows-what.  We used the back door so it was faster, and that way we wouldn’t be noticed. We padded across the soft carpet, out the back door, and sprinted down the wooden boardwalk down to the still-warm sand.  I caught Lexi as she was about to take a swim in the water.

“They’ll catch us if we come back wet,” I warned her.  She just rolled her eyes with a smirk and got her shorts wet anyway.

By day, the water was a lustrous cerulean.  At night, however, the water was an endless pool of black.  The ocean stretched for miles, yet I felt like I was a part of it.  The breeze danced around me as if it were trying to pull me into the water again.  Lexi tormented nearby ghost crabs, watching them scatter as she stepped. I just stood with my toes touching the waves as they lapped gently against the sand.  I closed my eyes and inhaled until my chest stung from the salty air.

I came to realize that the Outer Banks was my happy place.  I didn’t want to leave, I hadn’t felt like this in so long. The beach created fun, and feelings I never wanted to forget. I no longer thought about my failures or my hard times, just the beauty of the water and sand in perfect harmony.  The past didn’t matter, only the tiny sliver of the present I had now. Please tell me this is a dream.  If it is, I swear I’ll never wake up, I think.  But, it wasn’t a dream.  I would have to leave. For now, though, I had to live in the now.  I ran to where Lexi was crouched in the sand while watching the crabs run away at my feet.

By the time we had gotten back into the house, my parents were asleep, and only my grandpa was awake in the living room.   He lay on the couch in a daze, staring at the television screen. Lexi and I tried to step in quietly so he wouldn’t notice we had come from outside, but it was too late.  My grandfather’s stare broke from the TV and fell upon us.

“What are you girls doing? Lexi, why are you wet?” He asked.

Lexi was shivering, and I nudged her as a signal to stop.  She only stared back at me, confused. I tried to come up with an excuse, but no words would leave my mouth.

“Don’t worry girls, go change. It can be a secret,” he said, lifting his finger to his mouth as if shushing us.

I breathed a sigh of relief.  I tiptoed down the hallway toward my room, first leaning my ear against my parents’ door.  I could hear one of them loudly snoring. I continued on to my room. By the time I got there, Lexi’s wet clothes lay on the ground.  She was already in her pajamas and fast asleep. I didn’t even bother to change, just slid right into bed. I smiled, turned over, and closed my eyes.

The next morning, my mom told my siblings and I that we could go down to the beach.  Finally, I thought with an internal eye roll.

“First though, who left the door open last night? I made sure it was closed,” my mom said.

I glanced over at Lexi.  Nobody said anything.

“Ah, oh well. Go play,” my mom finally said. Phew.

With layers and layers of sunblock shielding my skin, I ran back down to the beach, dancing around in the sand.  That day, I would forget everything else. It was my last day there, and I wanted to remember all of it, and live the moment while I could.  My brothers, my sister and I spent the whole day jumping waves and digging in the sand. It was the perfect day. That soon ended when we had to pack our stuff back up and leave the beach.

When it was time to leave, all I could think of was how much I was going to miss North Carolina.  I recall crying very heavy tears. I would miss the ocean, the salty air, and the seagulls that woke me up every morning.  I was definitely not going to miss the sunburn, but it was worth it. On the car trip back, I thought about how happy and carefree I was.  I didn’t want that salty smell to come out of my clothes. I wanted that every day, and I’m grateful I got to experience it even for a few days.  I would always remember my happy place.