Think of the one person you look up too. Got it? Well, it took me 12 years to realize that was my dad. Not because I didn’t notice him, but because my life was turned upside down when he wasn’t the person he always was.  
         

Let me take you back to the beginning when happiness came from the smallest things.  “That piece goes right there!” I pointed to the end of my bike handle. As my dad pasted the glittery pom pom string, I admired my finished Barbie bike. I turned and gave my dad a big hug and smiled at my grandpa. “Thank you so much!” I rapidly exclaimed. He picked me up to place me on my bike seat. I pushed my pedals forward, with my back wheels supporting me. “YAY!” I rode down my driveway and around my cul-de-sac to enjoy my addition.  
         

“Lets go Carolina, wooooo!” I hear my dad’s voice out of the huge black mass staring back at me. I’m shaking but I have to count for my group. I close my eyes.  
“Five, six, seven, eight.” The music blares through the speakers and I feel relaxed. Its almost like I feel my dads smile transferring onto my face. The dance goes smoothly, and I walk off the stage. We all scream and congratulate each other for doing good. My friend mentions how she heard someone yell my name in the beginning. “Yeah, that’s my dad.” 
           
 I never really thought of my dad as much of a special sign in my life until I was put in the position to see my dad suffering. I’m in the hospital now waiting to see my dad. There’s really no thoughts wandering in my head right now but that changes right when I try to talk to my dad and nothing comes out.  
            

“Hi, how are you feeling?” I ask quietly. My dad’s eye lids slowly lift open but I see no blaze in them like I used to see after I won my swim meets. After I scraped my knee and looked for help. After I failed my test and needed encouragement.  

My mom answers before my dad can say a word, “He’s feeling better, just tired from the tests to figure out what’s wrong with him. Okay your aunt can take you back out now. You and your brother will be staying with her until your dad is better.” My mom stares back at me with the pleading look but I don’t move. I feel tears coming and she knows it too. I cant stand seeing my dad like this, its like I have to take his role now but I could never. I walk out of the room and the hallway seems never ending as my aunt walks my brother and I back to our car. We get on the highway with no one saying a word. My aunt probably senses the tension so she starts speaking. “You get to see him tomorrow and I bet he’ll be happy to see you happy too.” 
              
 
 
“I hope so because my birthday sucked this year.” my brother mentions. Even though we celebrated his birthday today with presents and cake at my cousins house, it just dawned on me that my dad and mom weren't there for it, For him. Everything felt off today. We pulled up into the driveway and got out of the car. The evening went on, we ate dinner, played video games and watched the clouds and rain roll in. The weather was musty and gray with a little snow. The phone rang and it was my mom calling my aunt saying she can pick us up because she could finally go home and leave my dad at the hospital for the night. I sighed and went upstairs to pack my things. My cousin went upstairs with me to accompany me. We talked about, I don’t even remember, but stuff to keep my mind of my dad. I was sad to leave her because she kept me happy this whole time but it was time to leave. My mom picked up my brother and I and we headed out. My mom explained everything that was going on with my dad 
               

“Its not something big, it was just a virus that hit his body but he’ll be back most likely tomorrow you don’t have to cry Carolina.” She didn’t understand. I didn’t even understand myself. My mind took me back to the older days.  
                 
 
 “You don’t realize the impact someone has on your life until they’re not there anymore.” My situation isn’t that harsh, but that was the feeling I felt. My whole childhood, I didn’t realize who or what would impact my life, my everyday characteristics. Every memory with my dad either shaped me or taught me something. Sometimes we need those rock bottom moments to analyze who we have in our lives.  
             
 
My favorite memory is when I went to Michigan Adventure. “Smile!” My dad's phone flashed and we burst out laughing. I took another huge bite out of the chunky meat piece my dad packed for our trip. “Lets get this show on the road!” My dad pulls out of the gas station and we make our way through plains and fields. I grab the aux cord and play both of our favorite songs. I start screaming the words and my dad tries too which makes me laugh even more. I whip out my rapping skills and he mumbles the words along as if to make us feel the moment together. Of course when I turn to watch my dad, his smile is brighter then ever. The smile I missed on that hospital bed. 
          

“Your dad gets to get out of the hospital!” my mom says excited the next morning. I put on the first sweatshirt and leggings I see and rush to my car. The drive there seems super fast. When we enter his room, he’s in regular clothes and smiling. Not the same smile but its better then before. Me and my brother both give him a huge hug and I start crying again, but not because of sadness. But because my dad is finally out of the place he doesn’t belong.  

“He cant drive so make sure he is in a good position to sit down in the car, and try not to put him through too much movement.” the nurse explains. We take him downstairs to the parking lot and as I'm passing the Starbucks located inside, a memory pops up. I’m looking for the bathroom on that rainy day I visited my dad . I strut across the hallway and stare at the line in Starbucks. There’s a bunch of moms barley staying alive as the night drags on. But still, they're there waiting for hope for whoever is in pain. I felt that. 

  “Catch up Carolina,” my brother turns to me. I skip to him leaving the Starbucks behind. The night behind. We’re on our way back home, and I stare out of the window. The sky is no longer crying, and the sun shines down on us. My dad is asleep, but even his presence fills me up with light even more then the sun does. Anyone could see the past three days as just an event in my life, but for me it was a new eye, a new perspective. To find the person who is a role model to me, I discovered today.