I was wearing a pink shirt with blue hearts and light blue with white leggings. Back home in El Salvador, I used to wear uniforms; I wasn’t really sure what people wore to school here. I was walking with my cousin, waiting at the bus stop. The ground was wet from the rain and trees filled with water, sun nowhere to be found. I used to walk to school before; I guess the bus is going into the pros list. My cousin, on the other hand, is going into the cons list. My cousin, Stephanie, was laughing at something on her phone and didn’t even try to talk to me. In fairness, She didn’t really know how to, since she didn’t know Spanish. It couldn't hurt to try, though.
We got on the bus and suddenly I was more terrified than before. My cousin started talking to her friends and I could hear everyone else laughing too - like today was going to be their best day. I just stared through the window, water dropping, the sky as grey as smoke from a fire. I thought to myself, will this day be a good day? Could I really fit in with all these people and in this new school? I saw it as an adventure, but it was becoming a nightmare come to life.
I’m not going to lie, I was scared and alone. I wanted to go back home at that exact moment. My cousin left me and went with her friends: now how could I know what to do? Crowds of people surrounded me, but I just stood there watching kids run around to get to their classes, kids talking to their friends, kids staring at me.
Why were they staring at me?
Someone touched my hand. It was an old lady smiling at me. She gently pulled me to what it looked like an office and started to talk to me; I understood nothing.
“No speak English” I said.
I might have scared her a little bit when I almost cried from how confused I was. But I didn’t cry, instead, I tried to communicate with her. So we went off to my first-period class and when I was feeling a little better, she left.
Suddenly everyone stood up. A voice out of nowhere, it sounded like it was coming from the top of the wall, a speaker. The voice started talking and everyone repeated, staring at a flag. I didn’t know what was going on, so I just remained silent in my seat. The bell rang and everyone started leaving and I started freaking out: where did I need to go?
As days and days passed, and I learned to go from class to class without getting lost. Since that day, when I meet new kids like me, I take it upon myself to help them in any way I can, so they will not be as terrified as I was that day. I learned that even when things are not going the way I expect them to go, I have the control to see the outcome my way. Even when I wanted to hold onto my old life, I knew better things would come my way. At the end of the day, the things we go through make us who we are as individuals; we have the control to either embrace the experience or let it drag us down. Of course, I can’t say there aren't those “ifs” or “maybes” or the feeling that it is impossible, but I have promised myself that I won’t let anything stop me from finding my purpose in life. As I take this step in going to college, I also take all these lessons with me to remember that I can be so much more than enough - and in the end, everything will be worth it.