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Winnable
“Here we go again…” I said with a heavy sigh as I started my third ever live stream on Twitch. It was after having zoom meetings for school all day, and I wanted to do an early stream. I felt like a giddy child when they discover a hobby that they can’t get enough of. I had it on my mind all day, and everything else seemed obsolete. You’d think I would be scared or nervous, and you’d be absolutely right. But with how my results of streaming were slowly rising, and my average view count was growing, I got over my stage fright.
I hopped in the Discord voice channel, and my friend Savvy was waiting. I wanted to tell him about a video I saw on TikTok. It was an Italian guy who used a filter to make his face look deformed. He would then proceed to say funny “American” sayings in an Italian accent in some sort of skit. In this case, he ordered a bunch of Italian food from a PF Changs, but they didn’t sell anything he ordered. Hearing Savvy’s reaction, combined with the comedic value of the video made my day. It was the stupidest thing I had laughed at in a long time, but something about a heavy Italian accent saying, “You guys sell oysters Rockefeller? I’ll take 6 dozen a ‘dem” was peak comedy to us. The rest of the night was spent repeating the TikTok in bad Italian accents. Savvy even told me to “peep the stream title,” saying that his title would be, “GIMME A SCOOPA DA GUACC!” Our stream audience was laughing, we were laughing, everything pointing towards a good, quality stream.
The first game was mediocre. It was typical. We landed at a location that we thought people would land at so we could find some early success. We scoured for loot and got right into the frontlines. Runnin’ and gunnin’ was our M.O. that game, but so was over-extending. As a result, we got immediately dumpstered and put back in the lobby. The second game was more or less the same. The only difference was that we actually made it to the end game. I remember saying to myself, “God, I love overextending, it’s my favorite…” But as I would always say, “We go again…”
We queued into the game, and when we landed, it was uncontested. We were all alone. The darkness enveloping me in my room wasn’t helping either. There was no gunfire, no footsteps. It was ominous. It was quiet. A little too quiet for such a hot landing spot.
I opened the first bin of loot, and already got my ideal loadout: Volt-Mastiff. Or as I called it, “Volt-Stiffy.” After that box, and for the rest of the POI (Place of Interest), the well-known colloquialism deemed “Streamer Loot” took into effect. Every pile of luxurious loot you could find was seductively calling me over, telling me to attach it to my guns. As the totally hardcore gamers we thought we were, we simultaneously exclaimed, “WE HAVE TO GO FIGHT!”.
We marathoned our way in the direction of where the most gunfire was happening. Good ol’ Capital City. I don’t think we’ve ever hauled a** faster than we did then. Our fight or flight kicked in without us being in danger. In fact, we catapulted ourselves into danger. The whole town was a warzone, with us in the epicenter. So many knockdowns occurred. It was intense. Extreme, even. Incomprehensible, perhaps. My heart rate was rising, sweat rolling down my forehead, and I wanted nothing more than to win this game. Some may have even called it messy if they dared, but it was perfect for us.
The ever-so deadly ring was ending where we landed, so we headed back to our point of origin and camped ourselves up. There were four teams left, and we assumed that there would be a final fight with all four teams. We had the loot and meds to do it, so we felt primed and ready to go. After about a minute, we rolled through the game. We had gotten quiet because we were so focused. The only thing I remember hearing is a call out from Savvy. “I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE CHEATING” as Savvy pulled off one of the sexiest highlights I think I’ve ever seen. However, the rest was blank. It didn’t matter. We somehow managed to stay alive.
It was 2v2. The last squad, Savvy gets double-teamed,, and I’m at a disadvantage. However, the enemy was so scared, like a cat who got snuck up from behind. They were playing so passively that the only thing slower was my mile time back in middle school. Yeah, that slow. Things were going downhill.
I jumped down to get what’s commonly known as an “Armor Swap”, and then all h*** broke loose. Everyone’s worst nightmare.: the one and only… LAG. I froze up, I didn’t know how to react. Immense fear ran through my brain, making my body stiff. It was so quiet, I could hear my mouse and keyboard yelling at me to do anything but what I was doing. Like you're about to hit a deer in your headlights. The lag wouldn’t stop. It happened so suddenly, and I didn’t know why. I finally decided that I needed to move around. I kept on running around back and forth, not knowing how to react to the sudden surge of ping. This whole time, I was speechless, stuttering at Savvy. “BRO, WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?!?” I remember screaming at him. He was just as dumbfounded as I was. I finally saw them jump down, and Savvy jokingly told me to get in there. I was in fear that they were ready to double team and destroy me. I was skating around, rubberbanding back and forth to the point where anything I tried to do would’ve screwed me harder. I ended up jumping down and getting shot and killed like a sitting duck. It was over in an instant for me. I tried shooting back, but at that point, I knew my fate. The most winnable game against the most cowardly players, and they only win because the game screwed me over. The other players crouch spamming my box like they actually did something. Those dudes went back into the lobby, laughing with my laggy blood stained on their weapons and armor. Laughing away like nothing was wrong. So much for a good stream…
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This piece was written about an experience I had while streaming on Twitch. I tried to recreate a horror experience, even though someone who doesn't play video games wouldn't necessarily understand the horror aspect