Getting up early every morning I was feeling good, feeling confident. Weight was down from 138 to 125, the first qualifier was coming up for NYWA state wrestling which is a tournament with kids throughout the state who need to win qualifiers to make it to a bracket. I was in eighth grade which is the oldest age group for that tournament. I had no doubt in my mind that I couldn't win this thing, all I could think about leading into the first qualifier was that I was going to win, I needed to win. The first qualifier comes soon enough and I'm ready to go. I just had a round-robin or three-man bracket. my first match was against this kid from Austin. We are hand fighting he tries to shoot, I downblock and hit a high crotch on him and take him down for two points. Then I put him in a tilt for three points. And before I knew it I tech-falled him 17-2. Then my second match was against someone from La Crescent. I knew who he was because my brother had wrestled him at sections a few weeks earlier. I was ready, the whistle blew and he was quick he tried to shoot a low single on me, but I sprawled, I tried to get a throw-by to get my two points but he had good defense and we were back on our feet. We get tied up I hit a fire-mans on him took him down and got two back points on him. So I was winning 4-0, the periods flew by and I had won 12-4. 

  After those wins I was training harder than ever before, I would tell myself “I will win this.” The second qualifier came around this time I had a twelve-man bracket. My first match was against this kid who I had never wrestled. I didn't know his style or what moves he liked so I was more cautious but I ended up winning 9-4. I was a little disappointed in my performance his coaches kept telling him to keep it close and I didn't want that. In my next few matches, I didn't remember too much but I won them. Finally, in the championship match, my opponent was the guy from La Crescent. The whistle blows, and he hits a fire-mans on me and puts me on my back, early in the match he is winning 5-0. 

  We go out of bounds and I'm mad, wanting the match to restart 0-0. I am on the bottom the whistle blows and I get up right away, and blast double him. I am starting to calm down and just wrestle. The periods go by fast I'm losing 5-3, and with just a few seconds to go he shoots on my leg and I toss him and put him on his back. I ended up winning 7-5 I am happy I won but disappointed in my performance once again. I feel my flame starting to flicker and it might go out. One more week until the big tournament, putting in the work just like I had previously. The tournament comes around and I believe “I am going to win,” I've been telling myself that. My first match was against someone I had never wrestled before. The match starts and he shoots right away and takes me down and rides me out for the rest of the first period. In the second period, I chose down and I just couldn't get up so he rode me for the rest of that period too. He chose down and escaped making the match 3-0, I tried to shoot on him catching him off guard but I just couldn't get to his legs I ended up losing 3-0.

  At this point I just want to go home, I want nothing to do with wrestling anymore. I am questioning why I am at the tournament. That was my last match of the first day because I had lost. So getting back to the hotel Im still mad not talking to anyone, the next day my brother told me to go for the next best thing which was third place. At this point, I didn't care what happened I was just gonna go out and beat everyone as hard as I could. My first match of the second day is here and I just go after him beating him 13-6. In my next match, I won 10-4. Now I was wrestling to get into the third-place match against the La Crescent kid. After the first period, it was 1-2 I was losing and early in the second period I went to do a fire-mans he sprawled so I tried to sit out and he put me on my back and pinned me. So now I have to wrestle one more match for fifth or sixth place. 

  At this point, I don't wanna wrestle I am telling myself I suck and I shouldn't be here. I gave up on that match and lost getting sixth place. I was so disappointed in myself because I told myself I was going to win it and I didn't meet my expectations. After A couple weeks, I started reflecting on that tournament and I realized that everyone learns more from losses than wins, but need to reflect on those losses to learn. Since that tournament, I have reflected more on my losses than my wins. I learned that sports are not just about winning and that we can learn so much from them.