A first kiss is something that is supposed to be magical and momentous (at least for us girls.) It is supposed to be one of those milestones in our lives, along with our first day of school, first sleep over, first book report, first date, senior prom, high school graduation, our wedding, our first anniversary and the birth or adoption of our first child. Of course, some steps may be skipped along the way – not everyone finishes high school, not everyone gets married, etc. – but these are the things we have in our heads before we know any better.

I myself do not yet know any better. I have never been kissed.

(I don’t think our parents or grandparents count.)

Honestly, I’ve felt a little left out at times. During our state track meet, when I stayed in a hotel with three other classmates and teammates, they began discussing first kisses.

“I don’t really remember my first kiss,” Tanya said, and I gasped inwardly. If it’s your first time doing anything – first written article, first time shoe shopping, first ride on an airplane – shouldn’t you remember it even just a little?

“I kind of wish I still had mine,” Morgan said sadly. “But I needed my phone.” She went on to explain to us how she had lost her phone, and our classmate Andrew had found it and said she could have it if she gave him a kiss. She refused, so he offered to let her kiss Tyler in exchange, and since Tyler was the class “cutie”, she agreed, because she needed to text her mom. “I mean, I’ve known Tyler all my life. I wish it could have been more special.”

I, of course, had no stories or opinions to offer.

Another time, when I was in art class in school, my friends Katherine and Shasta were discussing kisses they had had.

“The first kiss is the best,” Katherine said wistfully.

“Is it?” I asked.

“Oh, yes! Mary, haven’t you gotten yours yet?”

“No,” I admitted sheepishly.

“Oh, you’re so lucky! The first kiss is the sweetest one!” Katherine told me eagerly. “I wish I could have my first kiss all over again! Just you wait, it will be great!”

“Oh boy,” I said. “Now I have something to look forward to!”

“I don’t know,” Shasta said. “The first kiss is okay, but it’s nothing unusual.”

What could be usual about a first kiss? It’s the first! That’s pretty special!

“Pfft. Freshmen,” Sam, a senior who overheard us, sighed at us. “You are so silly.”

Maybe to a boy who’s already had his first kiss it’s silly, but for a girl, I think it is a big deal.

Another time, a different group of friends and I had gone on a training down in California in the summer. After a hard day of classes, we went to relax by the pool, only to discover it closed. We began talking, and the subject of kissing came up, being as two of my friends – Andy and Anne – seemed to like each other, although neither of them were willing to admit it. Savannah, who was with us, was having her own share of break-up blues, and somebody brought up first kisses. Soon everybody was discussing them. I began to feel a little left out.

“I haven’t had a first kiss,” I said sadly.

“Oh, well then, don’t worry. You’re not missing much.” Savannah assured me.

“I’m not?” I asked, incredulously.

She shook her head. “It’s not that great. It’s just a kiss. Usually later on is better.”

“When did you get your first kiss?” Anne asked Savannah.

“In second grade, behind the bushes at Slater Elementary. It wasn’t such a great kiss, but it was a nice memory. Me and the guy are still friends, and we were so bummed out when they tore our bushes down. We had a cry-fest over Facebook about it.” She turned back to me. “Seriously, though, don’t sweat about it.”

Maybe this is one of those situations where it’s better to wait until you are older, such as perhaps at least out of elementary school. Having made it this far, I can only hope that good things come to those who wait.

“What about you, Andy?” I asked. “How’s about a man’s perspective?”

“Yeah, Andy? What was your first kiss?”

“Last year,” Andy (not the same Andrew mentioned in Morgan’s story) said, thinking. “During track.”

“Ooh,” we said. I ran track, Savannah managed it, and Anne watched it, so this was juicy gossip. “With who?”

“Madison Winn.” Andy looked at his shoe, as if remembering.

“Aww, that’s so cute,” Savannah cooed. “You finally found a girl you were taller than.”

“I think she’s taller than Andy.” Anne giggled.

“I had my warm-up shoes on, she just had on spikes. Spikes are flatter.” Andy informed us.

The evening passed, and so have the weeks, and I still have not had my first kiss. I am fine with that so far, as are my parents, I am sure. But I can’t quite form an opinion on it. A first kiss ought to be magical and beautiful, like in Sleeping Beauty or Snow White or the Princess and the Frog. Whether it is a life-changing experience like that or not, I still don’t know, but I can say that I have learned this: first kisses are as varied as the people who exchange them.