People always say that to be happy, you have to “live,” you have to be truly “free,” you have to party, you have to go to clubs, you have to crowd surf, you have to, you have to, you have to. Let me ask you this: what makes you think that’s life? You get home, you drink some beer, or maybe not, since you’ve already had so much alcohol, and maybe you tumbl about how drunk you are. That’s life? That’s happiness? If it is for you, fabulous. But it isn’t for me. 

My dad told me that life will keep happening, whether I choose to experience it and participate, or not. He was referring to the amount of time I spend in my room, or on tumblr, or whatever. And that’s gotten me to thinking that this website is a total time-sucker, and I will probably delete my main blog because of that. I’ll keep this one, because it’s nice to have a place to publish work that I’m proud of. However, as far as staying in my room and reading a book, or writing, or what have you, I have no qualms about that. I am not the type to go out on a Friday night and party, or get high, or mosh or any of those things. I lead a quiet life. I do not feel that life is passing me by, because I do not find happiness in the roar of a crowd, or a drunken stumble. I find happiness in a meaningful conversation, or a walk by the river, or between the pages of a well-loved book. I find happiness in the music at concerts, not in the strange, foolish people around me, or in a beer can. 

So when I see a gif of a few pictures collaged together, of people sweating and drinking, someone crowd surfing, and super-imposed over that it says “START LIVING,” I immediately scoff. I immediately wonder if any of those people wake up in the morning and question their existence. I wonder if they question the lives they lead, and the roles they play. I wonder if they are truly happy in those moments when they’re aware of their actions, rather than numbed by various substances that they currently abuse. I’m sorry, but that to me, that is not a life I would want to lead. So no, I do not feel that life is passing me by, just because I’d rather read a book, or stand quietly and listen during a concert, rather than go out clubbing, or scream and dance to music performed live. I would rather stay quiet and observe, than be the one scoffed at.