Dear Society,

Why must we be perfect? No matter how well we end up doing something there always seems to be room for improvement. Almost everyone strives for improvement, yet in the end it is something that is unattainable. I know that perfection is impossible, yet I keep asking myself, “Why do you try to be perfect?”

              I enter the classroom. The butterflies in my stomach start to flutter. I have been preparing for this a solid three weeks, and yet, I still feel unprepared. A weight starts falling on me and I ask myself, “Have I studied enough?” although in the back of my mind I know that studying would not help. Either I understood it or I didn’t. I knew it or I didn’t, there was no middle ground. Sure I could make a highly educated guess, but that would leave a doubt and uncertainty in my mind; a doubt that would fester for about another week. A look of disappointment coming across my face as I see that I got even so much as one question wrong. “You should have studied more.” Everything must be perfect. From grades to behavior to athletic performance, I must rise up to the exceedingly high expectations put on myself and I must carry that weight. Is this weight unbearable? No, But after a while it starts to wear and tear and break you down. Corrosion; not only of one’s body but of one’s mind as well. I must constantly be busy as this weight of being perfect is constantly in the back of my head.

I attribute my perfectionism to two things. The first thing I attribute it to is my parents. By failing and doing poorly, I know that I would be letting my parents down, which is honestly one of my biggest fears. Nothing in the world breaks my heart more than knowing I let my parents down. The second reason seems to be my own personal pride. I know that if I don’t do the best that I can in anything that I do, and then I will have regrets. Regret is not a positive feeling and I try the best I can to learn from my mistakes. Without this weight of perfectionism I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I wouldn’t be as hardworking or meticulous. This weight has allowed me to realize and enjoy the little things in life such as the quiet time you get to yourself or the precious extra minutes of sleep you get in the morning.

                There are some memories I will never forget. I’ll always remember those “late” nights I spent with my dad when I was younger. Staying up until eleven, after my mom and little brother had departed for the night. My dad would sit in his La-Z-Boy chair knowing that my day was slowly coming to an end. He reclined, his favorite cup in his hand, an old souvenir from a college football game he attended. We would stay up talking, just talking about everything from sports to history to everything between. My dad would always talk to me about things I didn’t yet understand, but in the years to come I would slowly realize and comprehend what he and told me. My dad was slowly molding me and making me a better person. I will always remember his occasional praise on those nights telling me how proud he was of me. Those nights, I’m sure that those nights, stemmed the perfectionism inside of me. Those nights kept me pushing to make my parents proud of me, especially my dad. My dad always used to ask if I did things for him like play certain sports, but I always used to lie to him and tell him no. I don’t regret this at all. Through trying to please my dad I’ve become the person I am today and have greatly grown. Trying to make my father proud was and still is one of the things I strive for most. This I have come to realize is the reason I am such a perfectionist and put so much pressure on myself.

This weight however, I am also incredibly thankful for. Although it weighs heavy on me at times it helps me accomplish some goals that others would think impossible. This weight motivates me and pushes me to be the very best I can be. Without this weight today, I honestly believe I would be nothing. I would be average. I wouldn’t excel. Every day I am grateful for this weight and for pushing me to my limits, every time increasing my threshold and breaking point. This weight helps me in almost everything I do and it has set standards and morals for me to live by. I try to be the best I can be every day and settle for nothing less. This weight in the end is not a burden, but is merely a motivator and something that will hopefully one day help me fulfill my dreams.