How I miss my brother and me wanting him not to leave

I have been really close to my brother for as long as I could remember. He is my hero and my inspiration. He has always had my back and I have always had his. When he goes out with his friends I make something in his room to convince my parents he is their, like I put music out loud and like voices like if he was playing videogames. He always had my back because when I get punished he makes an excuse that it was his fault. If he gets punished its like if I get punished. So whatever he did I followed his lead and still do. We would always fight but in a friendly way. I remember creating an invention from room to room when we got punished. I remember playing blackjack with him in an invention we did from across the rooms-. I really wished we both stayed the same ages so we could play the games we did cause it was really fun. I think it is more boring with technology, but even I play vedio games right now and I like it, but it was much better when you played real life not digital like I really enjoyed more life like that, I don’t know why it was much fun with my brother I always played with him even right now I play online games with him and he is in Paris so I still really get along with my brother.

When I was awaken I thought this is a dream my brother is not leaving (really knowing he was going to leave). I remember waking up and my brother was still asleep. I remember doing everything slowly brushing me teeth, putting on clothes etc. I was crying for a really long time not realizing I was going to still see him on the vacations, anyway I was crying a lot because he is leaving and I am not going to see for a long time. I remember after putting my clothes on and going to the kitchen to eat my breakfast and after that saying. I remember my mother telling me the night before
“It is going to be okay he is just going for 2 years, and it is better for him.”

I remember finishing my cereal bowl and crying. My brother came to the kitchen say goodbye one by one. I was the last one because I wanted to get a good big long hug. My brother told me, “I am not going for ever and I will visit you in vacations.”
I remember my little brother crying and saying “Why is he leaving why.”
That is the last time I was with my brother for now. it was the saddest thing saying goodbye his face trying not to be sad and my face trying to seem strong in front of my brother until he got in the Volkswagen and left, everyone came inside not saying anything because it was to sad to talk. I went the car and went to school. I was trying to get my mind of it, but I remember that at school with my friends I will get my mind off my brother. I remember at the end of school going home sad but not as sad as in the morning because it was happening in the morning but know seeing the empty room of his just got me into a bad mood.  My mom came from behind and told me “Time is going to pass fast you are going to see him again in no time.”

I was in my brother room seeing his stuff. I was remembering that the night before he was giving me a lot of the stuff he could not take to France because he can’t use the stuff he gave me and he gave me a collection of key chains I wanted since I was very little, he also  gave me a paintball gun because I started playing paintball a lot with my friends. I was very happy that he gave those stuff because that is like what I can remember of him, but in a way it made me sadder because the day that my brother left will always be in my heart.

I never thought that he might leave some day to another school., but maybe I will also go to another school in maybe another country. I Thought he would always be with my family and have my back.. I really hope he is having a very good experience their. I really miss the moments we used to have and the ones we had before he left. I really hope the 2 years pass quickly so I can see him again.  I really miss him but because of the technology I can Face call him or Skype with him so I feel like he is here at Monterrey. This is worth telling because it reminds me that I will see my brother again. This is a good experience because maybe I will go to study to Germany and I will not see my brothers and sisters. I realize that this is normal and it does not only happened to me. It affected me because I will not see my brother in a long time and I have to appreciate with my family that I have now. I will always remmebr his physical characteristics, he is very tall, kind of a long nose, big feet and awesome hair. After he left I went to his room and saw all of his stuff. I was remembering the moments we had in the room. When I said goodbye to my brother and it was the last time I saw him. Because I got caught up in the moment I forgot that I will still him in the vacations/breaks. When I gave my brother a big long hug. I realized at that moment that are friend/brother ship is not going to end at any point.