Life is expressed in two extremes, ecstasy and reality. Weeks prior to what I like to call the “big bad news” I had been living in a state of ecstasy. Although I was weighed down by cheer and school and had little to no time to see anyone, including my family, I felt on top of the world. That had been the first time in two years that the numerous undoings that followed one another did not haunt my dreams. So in the my state of complete bliss I had missed the signs of my world crashing down right in front of my eyes.

It was a balmy Friday night in October, one of those nights where it was cold enough to need a jacket but hot enough to be able to be outside for long periods of time. A relaxed cheerleading practice had ended only a half hour before and in the span of 30 minutes the senior night football game would commence. Unprepared and anxious for the creeping cheer competition to happen the next day, I hid behind a foolingly serene manner. Happily, I scarfed down a delicious dinner, relishing in the few minutes of leisure before the storm would ensue.
“Hi sweetie,” My mother announced her presence as she took cautious steps towards where I was seated at the high top wood table. A single light flickered on above my head as she entered the kitchen area. Perching on the seat next to me, all attention on my now stiff form, she sat there quietly watching and tense.

“What’s up?” I failed miserably at an aimed nonchalant tone to my voice as it quivered with suspicion.
She inhaled and exhaled deeply multiple times before inching forward in her seat. Opening and closing her mouth, she seemed to be carefully wording each and every word.
“There’s something you need to know,” She slowly and simply stated.

I gave a sharp nod to edge her on and at this her blue eyes pooled with undropped tears. “It’s…...it’s your uh your grandpa,” She barely spoke. “When they were up here, remember how he seemed off and had trouble breathing. He was coughing a lot.”
I thought back to when my mother’s parents had been up visiting us for a week just a month before. The little time I did get to spend with my grandparents between cheer and school, Grandpa had seemed paler and almost sickly. I remember them debating on having him visit the hospital before they took their flight back. How everyone was so worried. Another short nod was given in understanding.

“Well, it got worse lately and he hasn’t been able to breath so they decided to visit the doctor. They did a bunch of tests on him and uh,” Mother gulped loudly, the words to be said lumped in her throat, refusing to face the reality of the situation at hand. “Um oh God uhh.”

She stumbled greatly on the untold words as I waited patiently to know what had been haunting everyone. “Was he okay?” I wondered deeply. “Or did life take a turn for the worst once more?” I dusted the latter thought off, refusing to give into the pessimistic view that had pillaged me for so many years. “Grandpa was fine. Of course he was fine. I mean why wouldn’t he be? It’s probably just a cold and Mom’s probably being over dramatic as usual. He’s in perfect shape, what with bis three mile long walks every morning and constant bike riding. He’s gotta be immune to any illness. He’s almost indestructible. He’s---”

“He has cancer.” Mom blurted, interrupting my worrisome blabber of thought. And that was it, my world tumbled into a black abyss as those heart shattering words broke through my ear drums. A sob lobbed its way into my throat but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I looked into the grief-stricken eyes of my mother and willed away any emotion shown clearly on my face. I would be strong for her. I had to be strong for her.

“It’s uh level four lung cancer. From um his smoking,” She rattled off more about his condition, but I could no longer listen. Every word was another blow to my breaking heart.

“Okay,” I answered, emotionlessly. My mother looked at me with lost eyes before giving a firm nod of okay to seal the deal. At this one slight movement I knew we were all in this together until the very end. With that final piece of redemption of her strong reputation, Mother rose, patted my tense arm lightly and exited. I slumped in the uncomfortable chair, now thoughts of my grandpa plaguing my mind instead of the forgotten football game and cheer competition.