Everything changed the moment that I saw her face. Her crystal clear, silver chrome blue, eyes looked into mine as I looked into hers at the exact same moment on that beautiful, colorful, fall day. Before I realized it; we were both smiling and I felt so extravagantly happy. If I stood there for my entire life, purgatory, and eternity just staring into her beautiful eyes (beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe how gorgeous her eyes are) I wouldn’t even mind, because I would live, die, and exist a happy being forever and on. In that moment I knew; there was a reason to continue waking up every day… a reason to continue living. Just being able to see her smile, almost every day, would be sufficient enough to keep me just strong enough to continue this desolate black hole of a life u actually have the audacity to call “living”. “Living” Should actually be called “dieing”. Yet now, from a simple look every day, I have motivation to actually want to go to school and face humanity in its tracks. Without her, I would have no reason to stay in this hell.
     

I use to have no love for life. No love for anything to be exact. I would skip school just so I can assure I have no chance of letting others know my problem. Maybe it’s not my problem. Maybe it’s everyone else’s problem… or maybe it is my problem yet society made me this way… Having depression, anxiety, anger issues, and many more mental “problems” is what causes even more of my many problems... social anxiety for example.

I have not known this wonderful spirit in my life for long, yet, but her soft glare, only a simple glimpse, at me every day is enough for me to live on this devastating planet for lives upon lives to come; as long as she is at my side.
     

Despite my social anxiety and many other problems, I forced myself to have the terrifying courage to walk up to her and say hi. I got to know her. Her darkest secrets, and her lightest lies; everything about her; my future true love, yet to be my forever… even though, I will make sure, that she will be my always in the end. She eventually also had the courage to tell me that she had felt the exact same way about me and that it was just as hard to talk to me as it was for me to talk to her, until we got to know each other.
   

 Eventually after we both knew everything about each other and got to know each others true personality, we could both trust each other with our lives. We made a vow this one memorable day; we will always stay by each others side no matter what happens, forever and always.
     

Until the one day that had ruined me inside, destroyed my heart and soul, mind and body, and every fiber of my being, I was happy for once. I was without a doubt, no exceptions, unconditionally happy. ”I am worth something! I finally have hope and something that makes me want more; like a drug, I am addicted to that I can’t get enough of. It is her…” until the one day that tortured me, tore me up piece by piece, and cut me into even smaller pieces, burning me. Yet there were no wounds, physically anyway, no blood shed, even though there are more scars than you can count.  Second by second goes by with the day killing me slowly… inside out… The day that reminisces in my head over and over is the one day I will never forget. I do not think I could forget it even if I got amnesia. The day that plagues my head is the day that everything went wrong. February 4th 2015… we have to move in five days. Yet two of those days are the weekend and on Monday is the day I have to move. Friday I might not be able to go to school because of the snow. That just leaves me Thursday. One day left. Then it will be forever until I see her again. The only source of my happiness… not being with me almost every day any more. My demons are slowly fogging my head again… I can’t drown my demons… they know how to swim.
   

 Tears teeming down my face, I call her on the phone later that night, still the same dreadful, horrific, heart wrenching, day, still the day before my last day of happiness. The ringing seems like hours long even though it was around three or four rings. “Hello!” I tell her the situation and she starts hysterically crying. I can practically feel her tears through the phone. “How can this happen!?” she says. We talk for hours upon hours. I wish that I could stay talking to her on the phone for the rest of my ever instead of ever moving.
     

We talk forever and right when I think she is going to say goodbye for good… she doesn’t. Instead she says,”Harrison… I promise I will never leave your side… ever. I love you.” And that single moment gave me hope… I have her, and that is more than perfect for me. “I love you to; forever and always.”