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Frozen Last Words
Keegan had been at his friend's house for a few days now, we had not talked since he left, and I was getting worried that something was wrong. It was Thursday afternoon and Keegan was scheduled to come home later that night, so when my phone rang my head instantly filled with the excitement and hope that it would be his voice on the other end of the line. But as I picked up the phone my heart sank, not only was it not his voice that I heard on the other end, I was also about to receive the most unfavorable news.
As the voice on the other end of the line spoke my life froze and the memory of my last words to him before he left swam through my head. Be careful babe, text me if you get a chance I said as I hugged him one last time before he left. I will try he replied while squeezing me tight… My worst fear had came true, my boyfriend was in an ATV accident and his condition was unknown. Gradually my thoughts returned to normal and the reality of the situation finally sank in. My first thought was to get in the car and drive to the hospital to be by his side, but being a non-family member I was never going to be allowed in the room with him, so instead I decided to try and wait for an update on his condition.
Time could not have gone by any slower, every second that went by was agonizing. Eventually I could not take the intensity any more. The dam behind my eyes burst as I ran out the door and headed toward the road hoping that a long walk would help clear my mind of all the mixed emotions I was feeling. The woods were hushed, leaving only my screaming thoughts for me to hear. I had been wandering for what felt like hours and was far away from home by the time I received an update. After what felt like forever some of my worries were set free as I learned that he was going to be alright.
Despite him being in pretty severe pain do to about 50% of his body being covered in road rash, and needing six stitches to close up the massive hole in his knee he was finally coming home. Even after he was released from the hospital I still I wished more than anything that I could have been by his side, not only for my sanity's, but for his as well. When I learned that he had specifically asked about me and where I was my heart anguished with sorrow.
It drove me crazy to not have any control of my whereabouts, after all I have never done well under the burden of someone I love being in pain... I just wish that I could have been by his side and hugged him tight. I wish I could have been there to let him know that he was going to be alright. But in the end I was just glad that he was going to be okay...
The next few days after the accident I made sure to never leave his side. For him the nights were the worst, he hated feeling so useless when having to wake me up when he needed something. To me taking care of him was fun, it made me feel good to finally be there for him when he needed me, but to him he feel worthless. His recovery was slow and painful, we had many sleepless nights and several late trips to the ER worrying about infections and debris working its way out of his leg. After a few long and strenuous weeks he and all things were back to normal, and he promised me that he would never ride any type of ATV again.
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