“Congratulations! You have just lost me as a friend. I wonder, what was your purpose of doing what you did?” You basically took my friendship and smashed it into a million pieces. A million pieces that you never even attempted to try and fix. {Did it ever mean anything to her?} Let me stop ranting and explain to you guys the whole story from the very beginning? A brief synopsis if you may.

Freshman year. I didn’t know anything about this girl. We started off as complete strangers. She was the new girl in my English class and she sat right in front of me. Questioning myself, {”Who is this person sitting in front of me?”.} I didn’t pay her any attention at first. However, one day we had to do group work. I couldn’t just sit there and exclude her. I had no choice but to talk to her. “What’s your name again?” I asked her. She whispered softly “WHAT?” She replies softly again. I got annoyed but I just let it go. I heard her after like the third attempt. “How do you want to do this?” I asked. She replied, “Maybe we could do these things separately and then come together as a group at the end.” “Ooo I really like to decorate. Can I” I asked. “Sure why not.” From there I realized she was actually a nice person. Everyday she would make little jokes that cracked me up almost the whole period. Days go by at a time. We talked and laughed even more. And in a way, we got closer as friends. Sitting in class one day the topic of social media came up. So I asked if she had any social media accounts. I asked for them and she gave it to me. We started off occasionally texting then it quickly progressed into a daily thing. Before you know it I started jacking her as a best friend and she did the same too. SHE DID THE SAME TOO! I immediately came up with a date. I know what you’re thinking. “A date Kadisha that’s so corny?” Yes, a date. Yes, I am corny. I called it our Bestfriendserversary. You get it? Cause we’re best friends and it’s an anniversary. I thought it was cute. March 24th was the date we decided on. That was the day we officially were best friends. I saw it as the start of a beautiful “friendship” or so I thought. I think we should give this person a name. How about Alicia? Yeah, Alicia will suffice.

To be honest it all feels like yesterday this all happen but in reality it’s been almost two years now  since Alicia ended our friendship. I remember the first day I went to her house. It’s a day I probably won’t ever forget. Freshman year. It was a half of day, as always she didn’t come to school. I texted her, “Best friend what’s your address?” I asked. She gave it to me. She was probably looking at the phone all bewildered. My other friend and I showed up at her house because we didn’t have anything better to do and we wanted to see her. You can say it was a girl day. However, it really wasn’t. When we came we chilled on the steps for a little bit. We basically sat there and talked for almost an hour. On her steps there were a couple of flower pots. They were pretty but they also attracted other friends that I had an utmost hatred for. BEES! They were out of control. I detest the sound of buzzing it annoys me. I had to get out of there. I kept running away like a scaredy cat and Kiara and Alicia was looking at me like I was crazy and laughing. After Alicia suggested we go to the park next door. She brought her little brother with us. I loved him like he was my own little brother. Just like her, he was fun to be around. We went to the park and played a little basketball. It was fun. You could say it was memories to remember but now I just would just like to forget about them. After that, we went back to her house. But this time she ACTUALLY let us in. I was so shocked. Her house was so gigantic and beautiful. I stepped in as if I never seen a home so big before. Tbh I never did. On facetime I remember her telling me she had 4 different floors. I stepped in further. Then came the bathroom on my left-hand side. My eyes opened wide as if I just won a million bucks. It was so pretty. Nice white tiles. Marbled sink. It was also spacious. They had to grab me out the bathroom before I got more memorized. Then we were off to the kitchen. Don’t even get me started on the kitchen. I absolutely loved the kitchen. She had these little stools around the counter. It was A-DORA-BOWL (hahaha). Anyways Alicia made us a sandwich it was lovely. She knew how to pack it down. We went out in your backyard to eat it.  Well you know what they say “Time flies when you’re having fun”. It was now time to leave. So we said bye-bye. That was the first and last time I went to her house.

The more I write the more memories come back to me. Omg, I just remembered the time around Alicia’s birthday in 2016 where we went to Washington D.C. I had to beg her to come on this trip with me and she finally agreed. We left the Monday and came back the Wednesday. That Monday was also the day of her birthday. I wrote her a nice long paragraph even though we were best friends for like a month. The morning she came to school like it was nothing. Like come on it’s your special day. “BESTFRAAAAAAANNNNNN” I would say as she walked through the door. She just smiled at me. It’s now time to leave. We sat next to each other on the bus but it was kind of boring now that I think about it. “Hey best friend, Hey best friend, Hey best friend” I just kept bothering her the whole trip. I can see that she was pissed because her eyes kept rolling in the back of her head like she was possessed or something. It was funny. Anyways we finally get to our first stop. We stopped there for lunch. I was tired from that long bus ride. We took a lot of pictures. We looked cute. Let’s fast forward to the night of her birthday. We are now in the hotel room. I was barely having fun with her because most of the stuff I like she doesn’t. Like type of music. With the other girls in the room I was dancing and laughing and making videos with them. I should’ve known at that point that our friendship wasn’t real but I don’t care I wanted to make it real. The three days pass by so fast. Now we’re back in New York. Back to our regular schedule program.

Summer 2016 we talked on the phone basically everyday. I didn’t see her all summer but we still were close. When it was time to go back to school many people were surprised that we were still best friends. I don’t know why they would say that. I shrugged it off though.

She was so much fun to be around. We really “clicked” or at least I thought we did. We honestly had a good thing going until the day she “broke up” with me as if we were in some kind of relationship. And on top of that, she was scared to tell me, she went to go and tell another friend of mine. I was sitting in my room you know chillin like a villain. I think we were on some break from school.

Via Messenger
Kiara: Kadisha, Ale--oops I meant Alicia wants to tell you something.
Me: Tell me what?
Kiara: Just stay right here. Now I’m looking at my phone all confused. {Why couldn’t she just tell me this?}
*Kiara and Alicia in private message*
Kiara: Go and tell her what’s going on.
Alicia: I don’t know what to tell her though. I’m scared.
*20 mins later* via our group chat
Me: What do you have to tell me?
Kiara: She doesn’t want to be best friends anymore
Me: What? Why not?

She explained to me for a good 10 minutes of what’s going on. I rarely had anything to say. I just agreed.
It’s funny the way how life works sometimes...you were really close to me at one point then that other friend became one of my best friends in the whole wide world. That’s another story for later though. But back to her. What Alicia did that day really confused me. I didn’t know what I did wrong. But I was cool about it like the genuine person I am. She specifically said “we were going too fast” (lmao). She even suggested that we can still be friends but not best friends. I was cool with that. I had no problem with it. The thing that really pissed me off was how she stopped texting and stopped talking to me after that point. Oh, and she also became “best friends” with someone that basically never liked me from the jump. We all wish we can say something like that to a friend that had gone astray. Come on people it’s 20-fricking-18. We don’t associate ourselves with people who have done us wrong. That’s my point of view. Now tell me what’s yours? Most people believe in this “forgive and forget”. I SAY B.S. If you were just going to do me like that then I feel like you should’ve never befriended me in the first place.

You want to know something. I’m not mad at what Alicia did, well not anymore. I just want to thank her. “Thank you for showing me that everything may seem fine from the start but once you start to step forward, everything will finally come into play.” She started to show her true colors. I saw who my real friends were. My real friends are KIARA AND DAISIA. So FU.  Adios.