The banging from my front door echoed throughout my house, seeming even louder in the darkness spilling through my room. Between each spur of knocks, I could hear the small whimpers from my little sisters on the bunk under mine, being scared and not fully understanding the situation. I didn’t know how my little brother was getting through it, hiding in his room in the same darkness as mine.

I told her we were going to be asleep, she shouldn’t be here. My thoughts were pounding inside my head, not being able to move with fear holding my body hostage and quickening my breathing. I tried to stay as calm as possible, trying not to  scare my little sisters even more than they already were. 

I heard the knocks get louder, and I could tell that she had been pounding onto my brother’s window, trying to wake someone up to let her in. Slowly making her way around our house, doing the infamous “cop knock” on every window, every window, that is, besides my parents’. She knew what she was doing, even though I had told her that everyone was sick. That we couldn’t hang out again after almost a week straight.

I just wanted to get away from her for a night, to give myself a break from the craziness of dealing with her toxicity.

My phone buzzed, making my chest tighten up more until I noticed that it was my mother telling me to try and come into the hallway, where she was.

My mom knew about my situation and was trying to help me through it, even though we both didn’t know what to do to try and keep her calm. If anything upset her, she would explode on me, everything turning into my fault and turning her into the biggest saint and me the biggest sinner.

I slowly made my way down the ladder onto the ground, the cold floor shocking my feet before I scurried to the door. I turned first, seeing my sisters hiding under their blanket, trying to run away from everything happening around us.

I opened my door to see my mother, only able to see her face from the screen light of her phone. We looked at each other with bewilderment, not understanding how someone could act like this.

The pounding continued, and we stood there, listening to her knock on every window and trying to force our doors open. The darkness surrounding us felt like at any moment, she could break in and explode in my face. 

Just then I knew that our friendship had to come to an end. I couldn’t handle this type of darkness all around me anymore, pushing itself onto my mind and infecting my emotions into sadness. I’m afraid of this darkness and I don’t want to be stuck, not knowing what will happen to me in the shadows, hiding the evil in people, and hiding my deepest demons.

We snuck through the hallway, to peer into the living room and see our front door. The glass on it let us see her fiery red hair. My heart beat into my throat as I realized just how crazy she might actually be. She stood there for a couple more minutes, her phone up to her ear, arms waving around wildly. 

We held our breath, waiting to see her next move. he finally walked away from our door and down to the sidewalk, going towards her house. I turned to my mom and saw the relief fill her face and yelled to let my siblings to let them know that they could come out if they wanted. 

And it’s then that I tell myself that I’m never going to let myself get into a situation where I have to hide away from someone whom I thought I could trust.