Do you live with both of your parents? If you do, do you ever wonder what life would be like without one? Well, let me try to explain. Life without one of your parents is like an emotional rollercoaster that never stops going downhill.

    I have been living without my dad for at least nine years now. I don’t think about him every day, but I do think about him every now and then. I used to be a daddy’s girl, but now I’m a mommy’s girl, of course. My dad is still a great person, even though he hasn’t been here with us for a while. Everyone makes mistakes...he just made a big one. 

     When I was younger, I always went over to my dad’s apartment with my little brother. My dad used to make pudding for my little brother and me for our Vanilla Wafer cookies. I will never forget how my little brother and I sat in the same recliner chair, watching “Ni Hao Kai-Lan,” eating our cookies with the delicious green and yellow pudding. My dad had a pool table in his apartment. The only thing I can remember about the pool table is getting in trouble for smashing my little brother’s fingers. My brother and I didn’t use the sticks to play, we only rolled the balls.

     You are probably wondering: where is he? What did he do? What was his big mistake? Well, I will tell you, one day my dad told me he was going to Hawaii. I kept begging to go with him, but he wouldn’t let me. He told me he was coming back; of course he never came back, because if he did, I wouldn’t be writing this. He was supposed to be gone for two weeks, visiting his sister. At the time I was just seven, but every day I would wait for him to come home. Eventually, I kept asking my mom when he would come back. I saw the pain in her eyes. I was very hurt too, and I still am.

     Honestly, I am still not over this. I cry sometimes thinking about him, my little brother is mad at him, and my little sister doesn’t even know him. He left when my little sister was just an infant. I don’t know exactly why he didn’t come back -- maybe he missed his plane and couldn’t afford another plane ticket. So, he started work in Hawaii, he got into a fight with his sister, and she kicked him out. He got a job in Hawaii, but he got fired and then turned to drugs. He got fired because two guys that stole tools from his job blamed the crime on him. He couldn’t handle that, so he used drugs to ease the pain. And where there is a drug problem, there is a prison sentence. 

     The reason I know all of that is because he eventually got in contact with us month or two after he left. We would talk on the phone. He used to send me gifts on my birthday. He once sent me a red phone just so he could call me. Another thing he sent me was a seashell that I could put up to my ear to hear the ocean. I miss my dad, I really do. I want him back in my life. After three years of him not being in my life, he slowly faded away.  He stopped contacting us as much. After that, he never contacted us again, and now we can’t even get in contact with him. He recently wrote me a letter, apologizing, saying he’s making good money but it isn’t worth losing his children because we’re his happiness, and how he loves me so much and he can’t wait to come back home. I’m going to keep this letter until he comes back to me. If he never does, my heart will just break again.

     I am very forgiving, so I was never actually mad at my dad for leaving. I was very sad and disappointed instead. He loves my siblings and I dearly, he just made a huge mistake. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I will never give up hope for my father to come back into our lives. I believe I will see him again one day. I love you, Daddy, forever.