I was six years old, and my aspirations were huge. In the last two years I'd joined a ballet and tap class, started going to school, and met my best friend–Life was so simple. I hope that in the future I'll be as big as the high-schoolers. 

I was 14 years old, a curious freshman. This is where I had always wanted to be. I was ready to feel on top, for people to treat me like an adult. About a month went by repeating the same schedule daily as I slowly watched my energy burn out. I was tired. There was nothing new anymore, nothing to excite me. This is where I had always wanted to be? 

I got called over to sit at a lunch table full of boys one day, I felt amazing. There were popular people sitting there. My mind was so innocent–maybe they think I am attractive? I try to keep my cool, and walk over to the lunch table. We talked, I guess I wasn’t expecting much to happen, but I was very confused as to why they invited me over there just to talk. I turned my head to see one of them twitching their neck and blinking their eyes hard as if they were mocking my tics. I sat there quietly. I walked away. 

The boys emotionally abused me for months–editing pictures of me, calling me names. People that I thought were friends turned their back on me so suddenly. Then, I created a new routine–go to school and try not to be seen, go to dance class, then go home and cry alone in my bed until I was satisfied that it hurt enough.       

I am 16 years old, I only have one semester left of my junior year in high school. I haven’t heard from those boys since I learned to ignore them. I realized that they just wanted attention. I have become confident, I wear what I want to wear–for myself. Not to impress a table of insecure boys who need validation. My whole childhood I looked up to the high-schoolers, how cool they were, how much freedom they had. 

And I fulfilled my expectations.