My name is unimportant. Boring and not representative of anything. The name itself is just that. A name. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Despite how I may feel, there are things attached to my name.

From what I remember, the name dates back about a dozen centuries ago; so around 800 CE, there was an important figure with the last name Graham, and eventually the surname became a first name. I don’t even remember what he did, just that he was apparently important.

Graham also refers to the specific process used to sift the wheat that eventually goes into Graham crackers. While it is annoying there’s an actual reason for my name to be connected to a cracker, it is nonetheless a valid reason. Still, I can’t help but wonder why “Graham” was chosen specifically.

The Graham cracker connection had annoyed me for years. When it was new and fresh, it was just a simple nickname. Then it continued throughout the years. I got tired of hearing something everyone thought was more important than my name itself. I don’t know when it happened, but eventually people stopped calling me Graham cracker. Missing it is really impossible, especially since I’m sure it would still annoy me.

I was named Graham because of my dad’s interest in the racer Graham Rahal. As for my parent’s second reason, it is the song “No Thugs in Our House” by XTC. Funnily, while Graham Rahal gives me something to live up to, “No Thugs in Our House” is quite the opposite, as it’s about parents who believe their child is perfect, all the while he is a neo nazi. My parents just believed the name simply sounded good. Graham Ciesko. “G.C.”.

I’ve always thought of this stupid connection between “Graham” and the color green. It’s simple, but it starts with the same two letters. And of course, the color green makes you think of plants, or other earthy things. And I realize I’m not even thinking of my name anymore. Through trying to find its meaning, I’ve forgotten about it. Maybe I was trying to.

I can’t focus on any wistful aspects of my name. My belief is that this is simply because its content is lacking. Other people may have names that mean “warrior”, or “light”, but my name is nothing but history under the surface.

The inspiration many people find in their names is lost on me. Many have something to aspire towards, even if they don’t want to. Names that evoke fierceness, cleverness, or any human aspect one might one to highlight. I suppose all my name tells me to do is look introspectively at its pointlessness and simplicity.