Why did it have to happen that day? March 14, 2019, the night of my orchestra concert. We had just finished playing the last song of the night. I get off the stage to go to my seat. For some reason my family gets up from their seats, walking towards me. I think to myself that they’re probably just gonna say I did a good job, but as I get closer my sister tells me something and I freeze. Thinking I misheard her I ask “what?” then she repeats it again. I stop walking, my vision getting blurry from the tears forming in my eyes; from what my sister just told me. She said “the vet called us just now, they have to put her down.” I start to cry harshly, people turn their heads to look at me most likely thinking there’s something wrong with me. I don’t blame them, who cries after an orchestra concert? I rushed to my teacher trying to explain why I had to leave but at the time I don’t think she could quite fully understand me. Given the situation of me crying she lets me leave.
I’m in the car with my family driving to the animal hospital, but before we went home to get my other two dogs so they could say goodbye to her too. I feel heavy like there was 50 pounds added on top of my chest, almost suffocating. We are all sitting quietly not moving, I'm certain they could feel the heaviness too. We go inside and find the vet asking if we can see her yet. He replies with “in a little we just have to get everything ready.” In my mind there are just a bunch of thoughts swarming around saying “this is your fault, you could’ve noticed sooner.” I get pulled out of my thoughts when the vet announces we can see her. We all start heading to the room we have dreaded to go into since we got here.
I’m sitting on the ground with Sochita petting her. Trying to give her all of my affection before she leaves. We’ve been waiting for a while since the doctor left after telling us what was wrong with her. The night before we had brought her noticing that something was wrong with her. We never thought that this would happen. They did a check up on her and noticed that something was wrong with her lung. There was fluid in it. That overnight something had and the fluid had gotten into her other lung, therefore both of her lungs collapsed. After about 15 minutes the doctor comes back. He brings all the equipment and stuff to put her down. The realization of what’s about to happen finally hits me like a gust of wind along with a wave of sadness.
It’s gonna happen, it’s actually gonna happen. The doctor is setting everything up getting the IV injection ready. He gets done and says that he’s ready whenever we are. I think to myself “how could we ever be ready?” My father says that it’s time, “so she won’t suffer anymore.” That doctor gets the needle that has the euthanasia and he starts pushing it in. I start to sob feeling like my heart is actually going to break. Beside me my other dogs start to whimper. Almost sounding like they are crying, knowing that something is wrong. They go up to her and lick her almost as if they’re also saying goodbye. I tell Sochita that everything is gonna get better and that she’ll be alright. That we are all gonna miss her and that we will never forget her. She is barely holding on when I say my last final goodbye and I love you then she's gone.