With blood drenched clothes.

The wound’s still fresh. Nothing would ever be the same. You should have thought twice before ripping my heart into pieces and stomping over it. I had your back and thought you had mine too. Yeah, you sure had it but not for the reason I had yours. You didn’t waste a chance to stab me right through it.

From sharing every mundane bits of our lives to not even sparing a glimpse of each other, we had a beautiful journey. Except for the last part, it definitely was bitter and heart breaking. The journey is always better than the destination. We stayed together all the time so much so that, now that we are on our separate ways, people ask us where the other is. And I stand there and wonder, then all at once it hits me and I am back to that mind numbing pain. Do you pause for a fateful second feeling an ache in your heart too? I wish that you do. But I already know the answer.

Dusting off my ever-cascading memories of the past, I see us happily swaying through the currents of life. But in a high tide, you were swept away and what returned of you was your dark side. And that side kissed my cheeks while it had a tight grip on my throat. Before I knew it, I was gasping for air.

When a friend breaks your heart, you see nothing but the blinding pitch-black void. It is shocking how someone can turn from being your most trusted person to “oh her? I know her from math class”. Look at where we have reached.  

Recalling the moments of us that I have cherished and treasured the most, I don’t know if you felt the same way I did. Was the love you showed me all through the years a charade? I might have been truly blinded by my love for you. All of this is heart shattering.

While you go through a betrayal of a best friend, you feel the inevitable pain right where they stabbed you. There is not just mental agony, there is this physical pain of blood gushing out and being stabbed again and again. You can hear the rhythm of your heart being shredded.

 When I was in the endless journey of saving me from myself, something that completely broke me was to know that you had all your knives sharpened, guns loaded, set ready to battle against my tormented self. Stupid me, I still trusted you and adored all your pretty lies. The thing about betrayals is that, the pain never goes away. It lurks in the shadows of the lonely mind. It crashes down your soul and makes it colourless like a black and white film reel.

You see someone that you have known so well transform into an entire new person, right in front of your eyes, and there’s nothing you could do about it. They are just not the same any more. But you are right where they left you.

My mind flares with unanswered questions. That flame was ignited from the intensity of the questions pounding in my head. How could you do this? How can you just sit there and smile at me as if you didn’t lie and make an utter fool of myself? What even crosses your twisted mind? How do you sleep at night knowing that because of you, my pair of eyes leak acid rain? Did I do something that you had to sharpen your knife?

There you are, burning me into ashes like I’m the villain. Go on, crush me under your guilty feet when you know damn well that you are the cause of this imbroglio. For an evanescent moment, I thought I knew you inside out. Thought that you were gonna be my constant. How did we get here so soon? I wish that saying sorry would help, but sadly, you don't even do that. 

Never in a million years did I imagine that, with you in my mind, I would write about broken friendships while my vision blurs the words away. The burn in my heart every time I see you, does it not affect you? Your knife still leaks my blood and so does my back. I don’t think I could trust again as my back has not healed from your knife. I can’t bleed another second from your stab. Wish I could forget you the way you forgot me. This wound will always bleed.