“Your voice counts” that is my daily mantra these days. There’s a trending tweets in Twitter these past days until now, it is about sexual abuse. The victims were exposing their abusers. If you are reading this, I’m so sorry if it might be so much for you to handle.

My childhood was tarnished because of evil men. I buried it at some point in my life, I forget it. For me, that time I thought that it was just nonsense if I returned that memory, past is past, I said. I thought I already forgot it, but it is not. It became a burden in my heart, because I did not talk about it, no one knows about it, except now. I never voice it out because, for me, that time talking about it can crush my dignity and value as a little girl.

How can someone be so evil to the point that they could not recognize if it was a child or not. God knows how much I begged him to fix the mind of the evil men, but the sky is empty. It is empty, so is my heart. 

It still haunts me every night or even in the daylight, it gives me nightmares. I always think that maybe I experienced it because I did not talk about it even though my heart wants to release it. But I can’t, wailing was my answer towards it. 

Being silent is not and will never be an answer to what is happening to you. It will just kill you inside and if you keep it for a long time it could weaken your body. Talking about it takes time, after everything has happened I know that I’m brave. I do not want it to be a hindrance to my everyday life.

Lastly, I think that it will be my life lesson until I die, not for just now. I will never be silent from now on. From that day I realized women are so powerful, we make those men weak, they feel those hunger that only women can cure, I pity them. They are nothing if it was not for us. The abusers, they are weak and insecure hiding from their masculine body. I am more than less.