Have you ever heard the cliche “One sip won’t hurt?” The people who say this don’t know who they are telling to take a sip or how they will act, because with some people that one sip hurts them and the people around them.


I can trace back all the way to when I was four years old on Halloween Night, I was Snow White. I had everything I needed to pull her off, the dress, the make up and the poisoned apple. I knew this year was gonna be the best. It was the first time I would be going trick or treating with my Dad.(My parents got a divorce when i was just a baby, so I only get to see my dad sometimes.)I was so excited and couldn’t wait to go to his house. I felt like a little kid in a candy store for the first time. I remember getting there and his girlfriend answering the door and then talking to my mom. While i was waiting in my room I knew no one could take this smile off my face and I knew no one could make the jitters in my body stop. I was planing out everything in my head, like where we were going to go first and how wonderful this evening was going to be. The last thing I remember was being in my room and my mom telling me she was gonna take me trick or treating that year. At the time I was to young to realize my Dad had a problem, and that growing up with someone who is an alcoholic would not be easy.


If only that was the last memory i had of my dad doing something selfish. When I was about seven I remember going to my friends house and having a sleepover. I remember getting a call in the middle of the night from my dad saying random things and mumbling. A little girl can’t take it to hear that her dad is lost or dosen’t have any more money. These memories play back every time something happens or i don’t hear from him.

As I got older things became more clear and I knew what lines not to cross. People say you can only learn from experience and unfortunately I had to go through hard things in order to make me stronger. I remember the day when it got bad as a “family trip” we went shopping at Target.My dad’s idea when he comes to visit is that “we are still a family and will act like one!” Anyways, I wanted to go look at something else so i told my mom. Then i remember my dad calling “ Gabriella Elizabeth get over here now!” His tone was so harsh it scarred me. Being overwhelmed with tears i fell to the ground. I remember my dad yelling at me for that too and then trying to grab me by the wrist to pick me up. I looked to my mom for help, and she took me to the bathroom there I learned all i needed to learn in a matter of seconds.

Over the years I knew he had a problem, it wasn’t until my cousin’s wedding that I actually had to face it for the first time. My mom has always done the best she could to protect me, but there was nothing she could do to stop my eyes from seeing what i had to see. You can only put off something for so long but eventually it will hit you in the face and that’s what happened. I was having a good time with my family, and I remember at the reception going to my dad and seeing a glass of something sparkling. He looked me in the eyes and told me it was water. I knew something wasn’t right so later on I went up to him and asked him for a sip and then he finally told me it wasn’t water. I was furious that he had lied to me, but I knew that there was nothing I could do but just suck it up and move on. Later on in the night it got bad and he was just embarrassing himself and then I heard my name called. The first thing that popped in my head was the Target incident. I knew I just had to listen to him and get on with the night then let him sleep it off. I remember on the ride home that I didn’t talk to him. The next day he asked what happened and we told him, in his mind he was fine with it, as long as no one got hurt. He thinks his actions don’t effect me, but he doesn’t live with me so he will never know. Always wondering if someone is lying to you, not being able to trust people and always wondering where he’s at or if he’s drinking. That night I learned one thing, whatever he does with his life is not my fault and I have no control over it.