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Effortless
They view their job as asking, and they view my job as giving answers.
Sometimes I want to shout. I am not superman. I am not an octopus. I do not have supernatural powers. I do not have eight arms. I am merely a human being. Just like them.
But they… those arrogant, ungrateful, blood sucking… They drain me of my time and do not pause to thank me. They take away my knowledge and do not turn back to give me something in return.
I am just like them. Just like them! It takes effort, just as it would them.
Is it fair that I should set aside a good storybook to analyze a math equation for my sister? Is it fair that I should set aside my homework to lend my skill with words to my brother? Is it fair that I should set aside my writing to listen to my friends complain about useless topics?
No. Not when they expect it every second of every day.
There are times when I feel used. I know it is not true. How could it be? I let myself be used, and, therefore, it is of my free will. I give them my uses for nothing in return, for nothing but empty promises.
What I hate is that I know it, yet I cannot do anything about it. What I hate is that they don’t know it, and so they are oblivious to my hidden thoughts. What I hate is that I don’t have the courage to tell them that it’s my turn, my turn to get what I want.
I have to only speak up. I wish so many things, that I can speak up, but something catches in my throat when I’m about to. Something… Something stops me from standing in the spotlight, bars my way so rudely.
And I know what it is. It is me.
I am a giver.
If only a giver weren’t so afraid to receive.
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This article has 14 comments.
Wow. I feel exactly in tune with this piece. I'm a person like that , and it brought out alot of emotion reading this. It's a good thing to know I'm not alone. :)
You made this piece really relatable and emotional. I could practically hear you ranting this out ,it was so strong. Great job , seriously. Keep it up!
This is a very relatable topic, I think. Truly many people feel used at some point in their lives, as though they serve a purpose to some people as merely nothing more than someone who can help them with a personal gain. Sometimes I too feel this way. My closest friends always tell me I can be "too nice," and I never really ask for anything for myself. I suppose this is better than being greedy, yet we all come to a point when we want to have something in return for our good favors.
I liked how you described that "something" was hampering your way into the spotlight. I think many people feel as though others will see them as selfish, even when they're clearly not. I also liked how you labeled yourself as a giver, and ended the piece with "If only a giver weren't so afraid to receive."
All in all, a great piece of work. It's not too long and gets right to the point, which is how many of us feel used, and are afraid to please ourselves every once in a while. I enjoyed reading it, and keep writing!
