“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o’er the fraught heart, and bids it break.”

I’ve always thought of three day weekends as highlights of the school year. One more day without school, one more day to hang out with friends, how much better could it get? But this year Labor Day weekend was not the normal three day weekend.

I came home Friday after school excited about the extra day of relaxation ahead. When I walked in my house it was as quiet as a deserted town. My mom wasn’t home and my dad said, “We need to talk” in a serious tone. Sitting down and bracing myself for the worst possible news, I listened when my dad solemnly said, “Your grandma passed away while you were at school.” I thought I could handle anything my dad would tell me, but that news struck me hard and a whirlwind of emotions hit me. Feelings of anger, confusion, and sorrow consumed me. I started to cry; my tears were like an endless waterfall. My head was buried far into my dad’s shoulder and I hugged him so tight I thought I would suffocate him. Reliving the memories of my desire to hang out with my friends instead of being by her side when I knew she was sick and dying with cancer, it dawned on me that I acted selfishly. I was angry with myself. My dad helped me regain my composure. I started to think about my mom because it was her mom that died. I knew it must have killed my mom to hear the news of my grandma’s passing. I decided I needed to be there that weekend to be my mom’s rock and support her.

When my mom got home she was carrying multiple stacks of pictures plus three photo albums. I wanted to be by her side every waking moment. We sat down at the table and began to flip through the pictures. Memories rushed to her mind, anyone could tell by the expressions on her face. She shared some of her memories with me, especially the ones that made her smile as bright as the sun. Some memories evoked feelings of anger, while others made her fight to hold back her tears. I could tell my mom was struggling with her emotions. She told me, “Your Aunt VeeVee is coming over for dinner and she isn’t taking the news very well.” My aunt was there when my grandma died. She was not only my grandma’s daughter, but a caretaker for my grandma in her time of need.

When my aunt didn’t show up, my mom called her. My mom asked, “Why aren’t you here yet?” When my mom hung up the phone she wore a mask of emotions over her face, I couldn’t tell what she was feeling until she talked. She was furious that my aunt didn’t show up without calling. My dad was able to calm her down and he told her to go and relax. My mom decided the best way to clear her head was to take a nap.

Why did my mom get so angry over nothing? When my mom was napping, my dad explained to me why my mom got extremely mad. He told me, “Your mom’s emotions are heightened because this is the way some people grieve and your mom is upset about your grandma’s passing.” It seemed as if my mom’s grief was bottling up inside and she was starting to explode.

The next day my mom had a calmer state of mind and she decided she was going to visit my aunt; I asked if I could go with her. Reluctantly, my mom allowed me to come, but she warned me that she and my aunt might argue.

When we got there my mom was right, they started fighting like cats and dogs. Eventually my Aunt VeeVee just broke down in tears and said, “Mom told us not to fight, and we are fighting over nothing.” They immediately stopped fighting and began helping each other and deciding how they were going to get through this tough time. My aunt decided to come back to our house and spend the night because she didn’t want to be alone.

My aunt was able to reach out to my family and we helped her grieve while helping my mom grieve. Seeing how my mom and aunt were able to start the grieving process, I was able to grieve. I was able to grieve for a shorter time because I didn’t know her as long as they did, but all the things I did with my grandma made me feel like I knew her inside and out, just like my mom and aunt.

Everyone still cried at her funeral because seeing her laying her in her casket is different than being able to cope with the words. After the funeral I was finally able to say my grandma died, without my endless waterfall of tears. I was finally done with my grieving process. My mom and Aunt started to go to a bereavement class (which they still go to today). I can tell my mom is almost done with her grieving process because she is going back to her old-self. My aunt still has ways to go, but since she is reaching out to my family I can tell she is getting through it faster than if she was trying to do it on her own.

Grief has to be let out one way or another; otherwise it will bottle up inside and one day explode. For some people letting grief out is easier than learning the ABC’s, for others it is harder and need help letting it out. When my grandma was buried I was able to receive closure and was able to finish my grieving process. My aunt and mom needed a little more help and they went and got it at their bereavement class. If you don’t know how to release grief, people are willing to help. Whether it is a professional, family member, or friend, they will most likely help you, if you ask for it. Grief needs to be let out of its bottle; just open its top and let it out.