When I was ten I had the most unhinging strife in the grossness of my existence. I’m talking, of course, about the first day my mommy didn’t come back with me at the dentist. Thanks to my cruel older sister, I wasn’t too happy about going in the first place. She would make up these stories about the horrible things that go on at the dentist when no one’s there. There was this one she told me about how the utensils were first used as torture devices. The overall worst had to be the one where the dentist would suck up flies and spiders with the suction thingy and they would fly or crawl back up the tube when it was in your mouth. Then when the dentist saw it he wouldn’t tell you because he wouldn’t want to get in trouble so the grotesque pest would just sit there.
My mother wasn’t much help either. You see this appointment was scheduled a couple days after my tenth birthday. I should have picked up on the hints, for instance, my mom would poke fun at me saying, “My little Mandy-Moo is growing up!” I hated her calling me that, but I loved getting more responsibility (at first). I got to take the dog on walks all by myself and I clean my own room. Both of which are things I realize now are not privileges but obligations.
Once, I tried to do my own make-up which turned out pretty well considering I didn’t have a clue how anything worked. I put the blush on for foundation and the mascara on my eyebrows. You get the picture. It did make me feel like a grown up. Did I mention I decided to play makeup artist on the day of my appointment? When my mom caught me she acted like I didn’t look like a drag queen. With a straight face she told me, “It’s time to go to the dentist Miss Smith.”
“Thank you that will be all.” I stood up and grabbed my purse that was in the shape of a dog, and then followed her out the door.
After arriving, I signed myself in then we waited in the lobby. I got the lipstick and mirror that I looted and I smeared some just above my lashes. (I knew it was lipstick, but I wanted to see how far my mom would conspire to this tom-foolery.) Soon after my touch-up the receptionist uttered the six most frightening words combined, “The dentist will see you now.”
I whipped my head in my mother’s direction and she gave me her patented flat-line-smile, “Go on. You don’t want to keep the doctor waiting.”
“Aren’t you coming?”
“No.” This strange exchange confused and disarmed me. My mother continued, gesturing at my get up, “You’re a lady now. I think you can handle seeing the nice doctor by yourself.”
This woman was challenging me, daring me, my own mother for goodness sake. I couldn’t back down now, so I did the only thing I could do. I accepted her challenge and with a brave face I sashayed into room number three. The nurse came in and after she noticed my handy work she told me Doctor Tennant would be out in a minute.
“Doctor Who?” I asked. His name didn’t register with the others I had before.
“Don’t worry, he’s the doctor. And he’s really good at his job.”
Red splotches emerged on my chest as the door closed. A new doctor, and back here without my mommy, I can’t survive such a demanding altercation. As a disclaimer I should warn you that I’m eighty-seven percent sure that, that wasn’t my precise thought. However, I’m a hundred percent sure, and this I’m not proud of, I went psycho-ballistic.
I contemplated hiding in the bathroom, or just running out crying, but I didn’t want to let my mom win. That wouldn’t do. I contemplated how I could make it the doctor’s fault. Then I came to the conclusion that if there were no torture devices he wouldn’t be able to afflict me with anguish. I took each utensil and randomly scattered them around the room (except for the mirror on the stick, I liked it so I stuffed it in my doggy-purse).
After I accomplished my brilliant scheme I tripped over the cord that hooked up the water sprayer and the sucker thingy. I followed the smooth black plastic until I reached the plug. I had just enough time to yank it out and get back in the uncomfortable chair before Dr. Tennant emerged. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I kept you waiting…Mandy. That’s a nice name. Okay I see you’re in for a checkup so let me get my gloves on and we will-.” He realized the metal materials were missing. After seeing my face and composing himself.
“Whoa, what happened to your- oh sorry never mind. Did you see anything on this trey when you came in?”
“Nope.”
“Are you sure? I could have sworn there were new sterile doohickeys here.” He didn’t say doohickeys, I can’t remember real the word he used.
“I didn’t touch ‘em.”
“Huh. That’s odd. I’ll just go get you some new ones I guess.” With that the dazed doctor left the room and I had to get rid of the evidence in my purse. I pulled out the mirror and scanned the room for a proper spot. I took too long and Dr. Tennant came back. I couldn’t let him see it in my hand so I threw it as high as I could into the air. It bounced off the ceiling tile and landed and shattered right in front of Dr. Tennant. He picked up the largest piece and examined it. Then he looked at me, then the ceiling, at the stick, the ground, then back at me. I shrugged.
Clueless the doctor pushed out his lower lip and shrugged too. He interrogated me while snapping on his gloves. “How did the mirror end up breaking?”
“Uh… I think it fell so hard on the floor that it broke.”
“That’s what I was thinking,” he talked down to me. “How did it end up falling?”
“I’m pretty sure it was in the air.”
“And how’d it get in the air?”
“Magic?”
“Mandy. Tell me the truth did you throw it up trying to break it?”
“No. I wasn’t trying to break it. That was its idea. It broke on its own.”
“Why did you throw it?”
“Because I didn’t want you to see I lied to you. And I didn’t want you to hurt me or put a spider in my mouth.”
“Put a spider in your mouth? What are you talking about? I don’t do that.” There was a pause and he sighed, “I’m going to go get your mother so we can figure out what to do.” He left for what seemed like a billion-gazillion hours.
That’s it, I’m dead. She’s going to kill me and I’ll die. I’m dead because she’s going to kill me. My mom returned with the doctor, her face, bearing the loveliest color of crimson. “Let’s go. Now.” I hopped out of the chair relived that I escaped Dr. Tennant’s evil rathe, but I regretted it because I’m more afraid of my mother than an evil doctor. Needless to say I was grounded for a month and was given more ‘responsibilities’. That’s what my mom called them, but you would know them by their real name, chores. To this day my mom comes back with me at the dentist.