f you asked me several years ago what I knew about drug addiction, I might have been able to give it a short definition. What do I know about it now? Well, if you want the full story, I could go on for hours. The thought of my brother becoming a Heroin addict never once crossed my mind growing up, until it happened. Accepting that one of the people I cared about the most had become a complete mess, with needles and a powder their first priority, hasn’t been easy. Patience really is a virtue. Since I first became aware of their drug addiction, which started off with pain pills, I’ve seen him go through multiple relapses, overdoses, car accidents, depression, rehab, and even some positive things like AA and NA support groups. I’ve gotten wiser, but there are a lot of unknowns to me about addiction that I wanted to better understand. I’m writing this paper to give myself clarity, so I’ll understand my brother better and the difficulties he faces.


I actually began my search for answers behind drug addiction months before writing this paper in a rehabilitation center with my brother and parents. It had been my brother’s third or fourth relapse in a matter of two years. This time, my parents gave him an alternative- get the help he needed or get out of our house. So, we packed his stuff up and headed north several hours where his first inpatient rehab experience would be. My parents and I drove up one or two times each week for visits, participating in a big support group with the patients, as well as a family education meeting. This is where I finally started realizing there was a lot I really hadn’t figured out about my big brother; the main point I learned being he had the disease of addiction. I had the basic understanding of what this is like for both addict and family, since my brother lived at home and his addiction had affected everyone in many ways, but I gained the interest in digging further into why he does the impulsive things he does thanks to those groups. The counselors there were truly experienced and helpful. Also, going to my own Alateen and Al-Anon meetings, for families of addicts and alcoholics, furthered my knowledge. These meetings all gave me the motivation to pull books off shelves and grab information from the internet that I’ll share in this. One source was my textbook for Psychology. I happened to be sitting in that class one day flipping through the book when a section on substance abuse caught my eye. I started reading and could hardly stop! Anything on addiction is intriguing to me these days. My other sources are various websites that I found very helpful and my little red book for Alateen.


Marijuana, hallucinogens, opiates, and alcohol are all types of drugs. Yes, alcohol is even a drug! Hallucinations, which are internal perceptions, are a result of using hallucinogens, such as LSD. All of these drugs affect the human body’s senses when used, which can lead to bad side-effects like memory loss (197-202, Feldman). I already knew names and uses of a number of drugs, having had substance abuse issues myself last year, but the exact terms like “opiates” and side-effects of drugs I hadn’t looked into much. Opiates are my brother’s drugs of choice, like pain pills and Heroin. For a long time, I was in denial, refusing to believe drug use had any kinds of physical consequences, especially marijuana. This was only because I was uneducated and made excuses as to why I could do drugs myself, plus some of my brother’s severe consequences of using had yet to come. I realize now how dangerous these things can be.


What I found the most interesting while researching was information on how a family functions around addiction and how I could pick out many qualities in myself, parents, and brother that other families in our situation can relate to. For example, “Normal routines are constantly being interrupted by unexpected or even frightening kind of experiences that are part of living with drug use…The drug user as well as family members may bend, manipulate, and deny reality,” (Dayton). I clearly was an enabler for years, meaning I often covered up for my addict’s bad behavior and use, or didn’t take action when I knew they were using again, making it possible for them to continue the path of self-destruction. Recognizing now that enabling is the worst thing I can do for my family is important. I stand my ground at all times, and talk to my parents when I notice alarming changes in my brother, not because I’m a “snitch” but because I’m making the effort to change myself and hopefully the way my family interacts positively. We all are guilty of being defensive, over-controlling, and especially rationalizing what was really going on in our home. I know now we were all having our own issues, most of us dealing with depression, and didn’t have the right outside support or tools to know how to cope effectively.


I’ve also been curious as to what physically happens when someone uses drugs. Addiction is described as changes in the brain due to drug use that drive someone to use drugs compulsively (NIDA for Teens). Dopamine is a chemical in our brains that is naturally released. When drugs are used, larger amounts of this chemical are what cause the “high” one would feel. Drug do, in fact, change the brain. Substances put in the body alter how the brain sends, receives, and processes information, which distorts a person’s view on reality. The continued use of drugs is what cause addiction or alcoholism, because pathways in the brain are then changed permanently. In my brother, I saw these changes. His body became used to the opiates he abused, and because of several years of continuing to do pain pills and Heroin, his body could no longer function right without the drugs. When I first read about these changes, I thought it sounded strange, but it now makes sense to me. The withdrawals he goes through when coming off of being high, such as vomiting, nausea, dizziness, headaches, cold-chills, and body aches are because his body is reacting negatively without the drugs. He really has changed physically! Withdrawals are, in my opinion, why most continue to use. They can be so painful and uncomfortable that nothing else matters for that person besides getting high or drunk again. Heroin withdrawal has been compared to having a bad case of the flu.


Lastly, I think it’s most important to know the signs of abuse and how to approach that situation, because I don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring. There’s always the chance by brother will relapse, so I want to be mentally prepared. There are many signs to look out for- missing work, school, or family obligations, financial difficulties, stealing money/items, changes in sleeping patterns, worsening physical appearance, sudden weight loss/gain, and dilated pupils are some of them (How to Help a Drug Addict). I’ve seen every single one of these signs at some point with my brother. Sometimes, when his path was really spiraling downhill, all of these negative things would happen at the same time. I can’t imagine the pain and guilt that goes along with that. If there’s anything I’ve learned the most the past couple of years, it’s that his bad choices are never my fault, but how I choose to deal with those choices will make a difference. Letting an addict or alcoholic use will always lead to more problems. Confronting them in a calm and understanding way, without harsh accusations or arguing, is the first step towards figuring out what’s really going on. Some people even hire interventionists to help guide the conversation. My parents and I decided to have a “family intervention” several days before my brother went to rehab. In the past, it would have led to everyone blowing up in each other’s faces with anger, but this time we were so worn down from all of his mistakes that we held it together well. Getting through to my brother was not easy. He was combative, denied many things, and made getting treatment seem like punishment, but I knew he was only scared to go through withdrawals again. After hours of tears and pleading, he agreed to get help, and did. Rehab wasn’t a perfect experience; there was plenty of drama, hard topics, long car rides, and another relapse to deal with. However, since going through that, my family has gradually changed. I am a wiser, better person with more hope and strength than I could have ever realized.


My brother is clean today. I accept that could change by tomorrow, and that his addiction might be his death some day, but it helps to know I’m no longer alone. People all around the world must face the same hardships. My favorite passage of my Alateen book is the following: “Alcoholism [or addiction] is real illness. It affects real people, from all walks of life, and it causes real pain. I’d like to close my eyes and pretend it doesn’t exist, but it does. The sooner I stop pretending and admit that it’s part of my life, the sooner I’ll be able to accept the help I need to get better,” (65, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters). I love this quote because acceptance is the thing I’ve needed to work on the most since learning about the addiction in my family. I do accept it now, and will take as much information on all of it as I can. Learning about addiction, writing papers like this about it, and speaking in front of people about what I’ve been through keeps me making decisions that will land me in a good place. I’m able to stay out of trouble, get through my depression, and help others by continuing to gain more knowledge. Speaking is a new-found passion of mine. I aspire to be a substance abuse counselor one day, just like the people in rehab who gave me hope I thought I’d lost, giving back to others what I’ve been lucky enough to receive. I will take what I have learned and chase my dreams.