A few years ago I came across a book called 'The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teenagers' by Sean Covey. A truly inspiring self-help book, it is the ultimate guide for every teenager out there. One of the things in the book that caught my attention was a whole chapter about paradigms and principles. Looking around, I have noticed how most of our paradigms and principles are all messed up.

So what is a paradigm? Paradigm is another word for perception. It is the way we see things, our point of view, and they have a big impact on our lives. Negative paradigms hold us back and create limitations , whole positive paradigms expand our horizons and bring out the best in us. Unfortunately, most of us have paradigms that are way off the mark. According to Sean Covey, " Paradigms are like glasses. When we have incomplete paradigms about ourselves or life in general, it's like wearing glasses with the wrong prescription. The lens affects how we see everything else. As a result, what we see is what we get. If we believe we are stupid, that very belief will make us stupid. On the other hand, if we believe we are smart, that will cast a rosy hue on everything we do."

We also have paradigms about other people. We often judge others by their outward behaviour or appearance, without knowing what's actually going on. This is a form of prejudice. How often do we see people being judged and negatively labelled just because there is something about them that others don't get? The only way to get rid of negative paradigms about others is to look at things from point of view and try not to be so quick to judge. When we form rigid opinions about others, it gives us a limited point of view that prevents us from seeing the whole picture or having all the facts together. If we think about it, we will see that most of our problems are the result of our negative paradigms. If we want to make changes in our lives, the key is to change our paradigms.

Just like we have paradigms about ourselves and others, we also have some about life in general. We often centre our lives on a particular thing without realising it. Some of the most common life-centres among teenagers include friends, material possessions, school, parents, sports/hobbies, enemies, self and work. While all these things have good points, they are all somewhat incomplete. So it is unwise to centre our lives on them. Take friends, for example. There is nothing better than having a group of great friends. But occasionally, they are fickle, sometimes even fake. They make new friends and forget you. They move to different cities and drift apart. Similarly, some of us tend to centre our lives on material possessions. We live in a world where the only way to be acceptable is to have the the best hairstyle, branded clothes, and expensive gadgets. Society has taught us that the one who dies with most toys, wins. Possession also comes in the form of titles and achievements like Head Boy or Head Girl, team captain, etc. While healthy competition is good for us, things start getting ugly when we centre our lives on it. Our confidence should come from the quality of our heart, not the quantity of things we own. After all, the one who dies with most toys.. Well, they still die.

The same goes for all other possible life centres. But the good news is, we can do well in all these fields and still maintain a healthy balance in life. That is where principles come in. Principles are universal. They are not confined to a particular nation, religion, culture, gender, or age. They apply equally to everyone. Honesty, hard work, faith, love, respect, and integrity are all examples of principles. They ensure a firm and stable foundation for all other life-centres. For example, if you centre your life on the principles of respect, honesty and love, you'd be more likely to make better friends. If you apply the principle of hard work, it will be easier for you to excel in school and sports. For every problem, the solution lies in a principle or two.