Third grade. The memory is so vivid. I feel the rush of emotions every time I enter my parents’ room...the scene replays before my eyes. My parents sit my brothers and me down for one of their “special” talks. Nervously waiting on their bed, I sit paranoid about what was about to be said. Did they plan a trip for us to go on? We haven’t been to Disney yet, maybe there! Did something bad happen while we were at school? What could it be?
As my hands shake and my feet sweat, my father says, “Kids, Mom and I are getting a divorce...” At first, none of us understood the concept. I was eight, and my brothers were five and two, so none of us knew what was happening. But after multiple explanations, reasons, and items being removed from our house, I finally understood. Within a few weeks, everything my father owned left our house?his hunting gear that always smelt like wildlife, the fishing rods that took up unnecessary space in the garage, even his deer heads that hung on the walls downstairs are gone with just a nail sticking out waiting for the next picture to be hung. Is this real? Why did this have to happen to me?

Having my parents separated changed my life. At my softball games, they would sit on opposite sides of the field, and I constantly ask which house I was at for the weekend, but the worst of it all, was seeing them alone at night...without one another.

As a young child, it hurt to see them not together, happy and laughing like we did at the dinner table sharing how are days went or what happened at school. I saw them grow as one. They compromised and shared their ideas, thoughts, and experiences while raising us three. But experiencing their divorce made me a stronger person today. I learned that not everyone you’re with is the right person for you. These memories are lessons which played a role into the individual I am today.

“No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella and survive the storm together.” Marriage tells a story...spending every day with your best friend doing things you love together. Starting a family, buying a house, growing old together accomplishing goals with that one person standing by your side since the day you said I do. I believe marriage is about two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. Which is how it should be. 

I don’t often share my story. It’s personal, and people don’t understand how difficult it is to deal with... it change to a person’s life. But accepting my parents choice is a healthy way of living happy again. “New beginnings are often disguised with painful endings, “ Lao Tzu once said. His words of wisdom impacted me, and my family through the tragedy, only to see the light begin to shine again.