The day Kayla and I broke up was the day my world ended. It’s really hard.  I feel like I’m all alone and it’s just so hard to get through one day without her. There’s not a day that goes by I am not wishing I could be together with her; saying good morning to her at her locker. Now I feel like the Casper in the halls, a ghost a heartless broken hearted ghost. Not being able to know what she’s going to do today or how she is feeling makes it hard to carry on. She feels like I don’t care or love her. But I do and always will. I feel like no one cares and most importantly I feel like she doesn’t care. Kayla and I were together for about a year and a half and all that goes through my head is with her face. Every time I walk in the hall she laughs and it makes me feel horrible. I feel like the world just crashed on me, it’s so hard to breathe. Kayla always told me to “be strong Logan” but now I give up on being strong. I feel like a drift wood in the middle of the ocean waiting to be picked back up on my feet.

I’ve changed, but I honestly am trying to find a way to show her. But it’s so hard. I tell her I’ve changed but all I can do is honestly die inside and cry my eyes out just hoping she’ll take me back. Every day is honestly an emotional day without her in my life. It’s a battle to life and death. The world for me is gone. I don’t even know why I am here at school. Actually I do know why it’s because I’m trying to prove to Kayla I’ve changed and maybe she’ll see I’m being honest. Yes, I have lied to her and saw I hurt her. Why would I do that again? It hurt me as much as it did her, maybe even worse because I have to deal with what I did. But that’s why I want another chance because I miss her and love her so much. I want to be the right boyfriend for her. I honestly shouldn’t have drank and lied about it. I shouldn’t have done tobacco products. It was so wrong to do and honestly my life isn’t the same without her. I really have changed, but it feels like no one believes me. 
I feel like I’m 6 feet down. I feel like I’m in a black hole with no way of getting out. I feel like I’m a failure. I ask myself does it get better.  To me, it doesn’t because the one you love doesn’t trust you and it’s just so hard to hear that come out of her mouth. The worse words are when she told me she doesn’t even know me. That basically feels like she never loved me or cared about me when she says those words my heart just sinks down all the way in my guts deep deep down. It feels like she just forgot what we had and just blocked me off.  That’s wrong, and for a girl like Kayla that I knew for a long time doesn’t seem like her. I just want her back. My pain is getting worse. The lack of life is getting stronger. How do I get her back? Ever since we broke up soccer has not been the same I don’t run like I use to I can’t get my head in the game. I’m constantly thinking about Kayla and what I did and how I can fix it how I can prove to her I’ve changed. I never thought I would lose Kayla. We had something special. I wish we worked through it. I’ve changed and I’ll announce it to the whole world if I have to. I would take a lie test just to prove it.

A few weeks later I asked Kayla if she wanted to be friends and then the next day she goes to a teacher and tells the teacher I don’t want him sitting near me. To be this is ridiculous she never cared or loved me. Honestly I think she stayed with me because I would get her anything in the world and walk the whole world to get it for her. All she is doing right now is making my stress level go up so much and its really starting to get old and it’s really just hurting me. All she is doing is laughing it off. All she does is make me look bad. Also girls love to make drama and make things up for instance something happened in my school a few days ago and that kids life is ruined just because the girl was mad because he wouldn’t take her back and if he gets charged for what he didn’t do it will affect him for the rest of his life because he can’t go to college or anything. The world to me is just getting worse. So today me and kayla talked and it was going good but now her best friend Stacy gets me in trouble saying I was harassing her because I was saying how I felt about the Lucus and her thing about how much things he can’t do because of her. So Mr. Kelley wanted to talk to me and said if it happens again I will have to be reported. What is the point of having an amendment of freedom of speech when everything you do is harassment? People now a days make up their own laws. How could I have got in trouble when this happened outside of school.