Ah, popularity. A status of the utmost importance. If you’re popular in middle school or high school it totally matters. Its like, the most important thing ever!

You wanna be popular don’t you? Come on, I’ll teach you!

Step one- you need to have a huge ego. Like the size of manhattan. But theirs a catch: don’t let people know that! Take millions of selfies and post them on Instagram or twitter or whatever you want to post them on. Then caption them: “I’m so ugly!!!” Why would you do that? So that people can comment saying “omg no, you are so pretty!!” or “goals af!!!!!1!1!!” Part of being popular is getting attention, and this is an easy way to get some! Well, a lot.

Step two- real friends? Yeah right! hang out with other people who believe their popular even if you don’t like them! The key is that right when they leave you start talking bad about them without them knowing! When the come back be super nice to them though, so that when people tell them all the crap your talking they won’t believe it, and then start telling people how great you are!

Step 3- dress to impress! You must always wear the latest trends, but at the same time showing off your butt. Wear leggings and a shirt that stops right under you waistline so you bottom is there for the world to see! This goes along with the attention part, because popularity means attention! Attention! Attention! Attention! What do you eat? ATTENTION! Thats all you need. Attention.

You may have noticed that I am very much against the idea of popularity. Not because I long to have the same feelings of importance as people who do think their popular, but because those feelings turn into branches of hatred and need for confirmation. This may not be the case with everyone, but it is partly true. At least 92%.

Nobody is popular. Popularity is an illusion. People think their popular, think that everyone likes them, but really theirs always going to be someone who hates them. Whether its jealousy, or maybe their just plain rude. Theirs always going to be a hater.

The definition of “popular” is: regarded with favor, approval, or affection by people in general. A popular preacher. Did you catch it? “People in general.” So almost everyone? Who knows. But being popular is basically impossible. Well, in school at least.

You don’t need to be “popular,” you don’t need to fit in with the crowd. Even if you think that peoples actions towards you fit the definition of popularity, it may be just an act. And maybe you just need to get over yourself.