So there’s this thing I do, and I’m not sure how normal it is, but I can honestly say I’ve always felt the farthest away from normal.  And it’s with someone I consider my best friend, and we’ve never been normal either.  Go figure. 

I kiss her.

Not in a sexual, porno connotation you perves.  And not in a lesbian kind of way.  It’s not even on the lips.

It’s just a simple, easy peck, nothing weird or romantic or anything about it.  A peck in departure, up on her hairline temple area.  No big deal right?  I kiss my best friend good bye.  I never really thought anything of it until recently, because when I started doing it, the kiss was just a very natural thing to do. 

I can remember the first time I did it, and it’s not like it was overly special.  She was going through some hard times and we were in this huge crown of people, and I could tell her ‘bad thoughts’ were coming back.  She just laid her head on my shoulder after this massive football game, and I leaned over, kissed the top of her head, and told her, “Everything is gonna work out.”  And that was that. 

So that’s how it started, and like I said, I never really thought anything of it until recently.  I was telling my sister about my day, and it just so happens it was the day my best friend left the state for a tournament.  I just sort of let it slip.

“Did you say good bye to X?”

“Oh, yeah yeah yeah, I kissed her good bye and then-”

“What?!”

And I had to explain it wasn’t anything explicit or, once again, sexual.  I don’t swing that way (but if you do more power to ya).  It had just become such a natural thing I didn’t think I had to ‘guard’ it or keep it a secret in anyway.  But it got me thinking.

Why?  Because the truth was that I don’t usually kiss her good bye at school, I usually do it if I’m leaving her house or something.  And I don’t know why, if it’s not a big deal. 

And then I realized even more that I never do it in front of any other people, and mind you, while she really is a great friend of mine, she’s just one of about three best friends that I have, and yet she’s the only one I kiss good bye.  Why?

And I mean it’s a mutual thing.  There’s days I’ve been hurting and she’s done the same to me while I sobbed in her lap.  While that case is extreme, she still does it back.  So why?

Why?

I could chalk it up to culture if I was really reaching for a reason, but I’m only half Mexican and was never raised like that.  I could say she’s just an awesome friend, but I don’t think I love her any more than I do my two others, who I’d equally lay my life down for.  So what makes this different? 

The only thing I could really think of is our culture, but not mine.  Ours, as in the United States’ collectively.  It’s not a bad thing, not at all, just a different thing.  We get so caught up in our very professional, non-touchy sort of society that something like this, an innocent peck essentially, is viewed as so astronomical. 

Again, I’m posing no blame or criticism on the US, only pointing out what I’ve observed.  Because I’m the same way.  I don’t go around kissing people I first meet, or even have known for a while, either.  This relationship and level of comfortability I’ve built with X has taken time and a lot of trust.  And after my explanation my sister came around to the idea, and she understood it, but remarked, “Yeah, it’s just weird is all.”

And I get it, I totally do.  And I’m not going to stop doing it because it’s just habit now.  I don’t see it as a big deal.  So yeah.  It’s my best friend.

I kiss her.

And I’d only wish it weren’t an uncommon or frowned up way to show affection that’s just strictly platonic and just that.  Innocent.