On a lake in October is the place to be. All the vibrant fall colors radiate through the trees surrounding me. The paths I walked on at first were not too impressive- there were many trees with naked branches or limited pine needles. It felt as though I’d seen it all before. It was filled with all the same types of dead trees and ferns; overall an unattractive image.

But then I arrived at the lake.

Brush Lake is a whole new type of beautiful. I found a spot about fifteen feet from the lake's edge and sat down to take in all its glory. Sitting here near the water, I am surrounded by trees. Forestry litters the ground, which is almost invisible except for the beaten paths. There are trees of different sizes, types, and an explosion of different colors. My favorite part about the trees is the striking colors. Across the lake, the trees are fire, with leaves of vivid red and pumpkin orange. The yellows, almost as impressive, are more widespread and still breathtaking. Views such as this make me happy I live in a world where there are Octobers.

While the trees are plump with color and beauty, and rich with the smell of pine, the lake is another story of beauty. The water was calm, completely peaceful. Blowing off the water, a cool breeze chilled me to the bone. I could feel nature’s harsh bite on my nose. Right on the water’s edge is a tree that had fallen like a wounded soldier. Although the tree has long been dead, it’s one of my favorite parts of the overall scenery. Even though the tree doesn’t stand the tallest, or have the brightest colored leaves, I can tell it was once beautiful; one of those trees towering assertively over the rest. A tree people would notice.

This makes me ponder how I appear to the world. Am I just an average, green, pine tree? Or maybe I’m just a small fern people walk all over. Am I a superior tree? One that stretches over all the others, that becomes a breathtaking red color in the fall, one that catches admiring eyes. I don’t want to be just an average tree that is overlooked. I don’t want to be average.

I’ve always struggled with confidence levels. As a small child, I was the shy one who clung to her mother at weddings and social events. Since then, I have blossomed. I fit in at school. I chat amongst my group of friends, I get good grades, and excel in sports. But recently I’ve come to the realization that I’m not okay with being average and overlooked. I want to be the person who is loved by others, but more importantly loved by myself. I’ve always wanted these things, it just took some time to work up the courage to change. I would see people walking with a self-assured confidence that I envy. I needed to make a change, so I began to make sure that my voice was heard.
The cause for change was a gradual buildup of exclusion and self-disappointment, yet there were specific events that really pulled the trigger. When  a big, last day of school party is planned, and you don’t get invited, it can hurt. And it does.

Around half way through high school is about when I made my transition. Like the autumn leaves, I transformed into a vibrant yellow leaf. Not quite the striking red, but it was a start. That year I was a captain of my swim team, vice president of student council, and I was inducted into the National Honor Society. That year I made a little more of myself. I made people notice me. Failure never has, or ever will be an option to me. I will strive to be the outgoing and confident person that I want to be. I will become that bright red tree.

Today, I’m drastically less fearful than the little girl who clung to her mom at social events. Now, I volunteer to go first in Speech class, I sit in the front row, cheering loudly at sporting events, and I love to hit the dance floor at weddings. Like the newborn bird I found that day in the woods, I have learned to spread my wings and soar.
For the longest time that day in the woods, I had a hard time making a connection to the nature around me. For a while, it was a very dreary, cloudy day as if  the clouds wanted to take over the sky. Then the sun finally began to peek out of the clouds, shining over me.The sun knew that it had to persevere and fight through the clouds, and it encouraged me to do the same. Sometimes to get what you want in life, you have to deal with the clouds. Or you can shine so bright and fly right through them. I hope to return to Brush Lake one day to see the trees reflecting over the lake, with my own reflection equally as vibrant.