Love is a strange and mysterious force. It’s not the cliche Star Wars force either. It’s the force that can make all your troubles go away or it can make your days go darker but, with you? You were always quite interesting, you were there but, you weren’t. It’s like you were in the center ring all ready to do your trick, and me? I was in the stands watching the great show. This may seem weird but, you were my best friend and my worst nightmare. What’s worse is that fate summoned me to be your best friend, like you have a boyfriend. It’s like that superhero movie where the superhero gets the girl and all the sidekick gets is lousy recognition. No one wants to be the sidekick and if you do want to be one all you have is lousy powers and you're always standing in the hero’s shadow. This sadly isn’t a fantasy where everything goes right and there will be this sudden plot twist moment when we break out in song and sing and dance about our feelings; no this is the modern day 2016 where we can deliberately say to someone's face that they “aren’t good enough”. You mended my wings and made me eligible to fly, yet here you are a year later still with this abusive guy who is making all your feathers slowly fall. Sometimes love can be that tap on the shoulder that you ignore or it can hit you like a bowling ball.

It’s been twelve months since I felt this way and yet you can’t see through the blinds and see this. Now I’m not saying that we're perfect for each other because we barely have anything in common, yet we're still friends. Weird right? We're friends and have like have nothing in common. You told me you loved me to once? Now you're flirting with her..or him.. or everyone that's not me yet, you said you returned feelings. You sometimes deliberately call me out for wanting to find love or call me nasty words. You make photosets with them and say you want to be with me. Sometimes I think you could be the death of me but, don’t worry I’m slowly withdrawing from your life. Maybe, then you’ll notice me and how much I impacted your life? To me you were the love of my teenage life and what do I get? I get treated like a pet and the only person to notice how I got treated was myself and here I am finally repairing what you broke and because of you, you cause twelve months of heartbreak and as vile and horrid as this sounds I'm glad we never got together.

Let me paint the picture, you’re in a dark forest and it’s down pouring and there’s only one house that you found mistakenly and you walk up the rickety and broken steps and you knock on the door with a big “THUD! THUD! THUD! And no one answers and the doors unlocked, inside this small cramped house is actually a huge mansion that is grand and flourished in the greatest and glamor of priceless antiques and beautiful paintings. Sounds nice correct? Now imagine every time you took a step in this house a dictionary fell on your back and that dictionary magically couldn’t come off your back but, you could feel the pain. So, around the time you take merely five steps into this house you have five dictionaries on your back. That’s what it was like with you, it was too good to be true; you throwing everything bad on me every time I got deeper into falling in love with you and we all know where that got me, nowhere.