Never thought that losing my mom would really affect my life this much. I’d never really talked to her that much, yeah I lived with her, but she was never home. She was always at work or the bar. If she was home, she would be too drunk to talk to, or anything. I hated seeing my mom bring different guys home every single night. It’s been this way ever since Dad died five years ago.

On night everything turned for the worse. I was at home, watching movies with my younger sister, named Samantha. We were lying on the couch, eating popcorn, it was very late. Our mom was usually home by 1am, but it was 3am. Samantha had fallen asleep, so I picked her up. Put her in my arms and carried her to bed. She was all tucked in, I closed the door, and I went back into the living room. I turned on the TV, as I was watching “SpongeBob”. I tried to call my mom, to see where she was. It went straight to voicemail, by this time I was very worried. I was too tired to stay up and wait for her.

I shut the TV off, and went to bed. Ring ring ring ring. It was 4am and an unknown number was calling me.
“Hello”, I answered, at the other end it was a person calling me from the Rochester hospital.
“Is this Sarah?” asked the person.
“Yes it is” I said.
They told me that my mom got in a car accident, and she was in life threatening condition. I couldn’t believe that this had happened. I hung up and ran to Samantha’s room. I woke her up and carried her to the car. I put her in her car seat; I had forgotten the car keys.

I ran back into the house. Grabbed the keys off the counter. When I got back into the car, Samantha asked me what was going on, but I couldn’t answer. I had too much on my mind. I started the car, and sped out of the garage. Samantha had a weird look on her face. I was speeding to the hospital, because I didn’t know how much longer she was going to be alive. It only took five minutes to get to the hospital. When we got there, I parked the car and grabbed Samantha. I was trying to run with her in my arms. That was hard to do.

We walked into the entrance; it had that smell of an old person’s nursing home. I walked up to the front desk, and told the girl that my mom got in a car accident, and that we were her kids. She told me that somebody will come get us very soon. I went to sit in a chair, Samantha was laying in my lap asleep.
“Sarah”, said a very tall good looking guy. I got up and walked to the door, we followed the guy into this room. I could taste the smell of roses. He told me, that we had to wait until the doctors were done with the surgery. I asked if she was still alive, but he said that he didn’t know.

I placed Samantha on the couch, put a blanket on her. Five minutes she was sleeping. As I was sitting there worrying about my mom, I called my boyfriend, named Corbin. He answered the phone; I told him what had happen. He couldn’t believe that this happened; he said that he was going to come here and be with me. 15minutes went by, and I hear the door open, I was hoping it was the doctors, but it was Corbin. I looked at him, and I could feel tears coming down my face. He ran over to me and put his arms around me. I found myself crying more, he reached his hand to my face, and wiped the tears away.

We sat there for awhile, the door opened. This time it was the doctors. They told me that, they didn’t know is she was going to live. She had broken every bone in her body. They told us that we could go see her, but be prepared for the worse. Corbin went over to the couch and picked up Samantha. We all walked out of the room, and walked through this hallway. This hallway was all white and had pictures of animals on the wall. I could smell the food from the kitchen. I looked to my right side, Corbin reached for my hand. He gave me a smile and whispered “I love you”. Samantha was still asleep on his shoulder. The doctors stopped walking; we had come to my mom’s room. All I saw was a bed with a person covered with dry blood and monitors and wires all around.

The doctor told me that she was in a coma with the help of life support. I stood there crying my eyes out. Corbin had me in one arm hugging me and holding me close. Yawn, Samantha woke up, and looked through the window.
“Who is that” she asked.
‘That’s mom” I replied while crying.
Samantha was too young to handle what had happened. The doctor told us that we could go in there and spend that last time with her. We opened the door, I walked in, Corbin behind me and Samantha holding his hand.

The room had a rain forest smell to it. I couldn’t stop myself from crying, Corbin started to cry also. Samantha just stood by the window and looked out to the city. I told my mom how much I was going to miss her, and told her amazing stories I have had with her. Corbin’s arms were around me comforting me, while I said my last goodbyes. Samantha walked over to my side. She stood there for awhile, tears started to come down her face.

I told her that she could talk to her, even though she couldn’t respond. Corbin and I left the room, so she could have some time alone. I went to the bathroom to wipe off the makeup off my face. Corbin waited for me, right outside the door. I came out of the bathroom, and walked back to the room. The doctors were waiting right outside the door. I looked thru the window and saw Samantha holding moms hand, and crying.
“We have to pull the plug, she is showing no signs of living” said the doctors.
“Ok” I replied.

Corbin and I walked in the room, we stood right behind Samantha. We were watching them unplug the monitors and taking off the oxygen mask, and take out her tube. All of a sudden we hear a whisper.
”I love you kids, never forget that” my mom said.
Tears came faster down my face. Right after she said that, her whole body turned pale and no pulse. My mom died on March, 15 at 8am. The doctors told us that it was best if we go home and get some rest. Corbin told me that he was going to stay with us for while, so he picked up Samantha and grabbed my hand and we walked out of the hospital. He opened the car door and put Samantha in her car seat. As I was about to get in the driver’s seat, Corbin told me that I was not going to drive.

He was. I got back out and got in the passenger seat. Corbin got the keys and started the car. We drove out of the parking lot and got on the highway and started to go home. The car ride was very quiet. We pulled up into my driveway and opened the garage door. Corbin parked the car and opened Samantha’s door, he picked her up and walked into the house and put her to bed. I was still in the car, thinking about how much my life was going to change. I got up and went into the house; it had the smell of fresh popcorn. I went into my mom’s bedroom; I plopped on her bed and just laid there. Corbin came in, and lay next to me.
“Samantha’s asleep and everything is goanna be ok” he said.
I looked at him with an are you kidding me look. We both fell asleep. I couldn’t get much sleep, cause of everything that was going on. Ding dong, I woke up and so did Corbin.
“I’ll go get the door, said Corbin.
“Ok” I replied.
It was my Grandma, she walked into the room.
“Hi Grandma” I said.
“Hi Sarah” she replied.
She had tears coming down her face, she told me that the visitation was going to be tomorrow, and the funeral the next day.

“Samantha is going to stay with me for awhile” said my grandma.
“That’s probably the best thing for her” I said.
I walked to Samantha’s room, opened the door and walked in. she was still sleeping, so I did my best not to wake her up. I grabbed her ‘tinker bell’ bag; it was her favorite bag to pack, if she was going to grandma’s house. I went to her dresser and grabbed some of her clothes, after that I had to go to the closet to get her black silky dress that had glitter on it. “She could wear this for the funeral” I thought to myself. Her bag was all packed and ready to go.

I shut the door, so Samantha could get a little more rest before she goes to Grandma’s house. I went back to the living room, where Corbin and my Grandma were. “I’ll make some breakfast for you guys” said my grandma. “You don’t have to do that” I said. “But I want to” my grandma said in a very insisting voice. I didn’t have enough energy to argue with her, so I just let her be.

Corbin and I sat on the couch watching SpongeBob, while Grandma was making breakfast and Samantha was sleeping. I was starting to fall asleep, but then Samantha walked into the living room. “Good morning” she said to all of us. “Good Morning” We replied. She went straight to Corbin and sat on his lap. She had her favorite stuffed bear our mom and gotten her when she was 3years old, in her arms. Holding it close to her. “Breakfast is done, come eat” Grandma said. We all got up and went to the table. She made chocolate waffles, with eggs and bacon. It was Samantha’s and I favorite breakfast meal.

I went to the refridgeorater and grabbed the apple juice. I went back to the counter and started to eat, none of us really talked that much. We just ate and went to sit in the living room. As we were sitting there my grandma told Samantha that she was going to be staying with her for a while. Till things settle down. Samantha went over and grabbed her bag and grabbed grandma’s hand, and headed out the door. Corbin and I just sat there for a while, doing nothing at all.

“Want to watch a movie” I asked, “I’d love to but you’re picking out the movie” he replied. I got up of the couch and went over to the shelve were we kept all of the movies. Corbin was a guy that hated romantic movies, and I’m the type that loves romantic sad stories. But one movie that I loved to death was the Titanic, so I grabbed it and put it in the DVD player. “What movie are we watching?” asked Corbin. “You’ll see I replied. I wanted it to be a surprise. When the title showed, Corbin looked at me, with a weird look. I just smiled. He didn’t look very happy, but oh well that’s why he shouldn’t let me pick out the movies.

I went back to the couch and sat right by Corbin, sat back and he put his arm around me pulling me closer to him. I was pretty lucky to have him in my life; I don’t know where I would be or what I would be doing without him. He’s my everything. We were watching the movie and I thought he was going to fall asleep, but I kept him awake. Two hours into the movie and Corbin asked me if he should order pizza for super tonight. “Sure that sounds like a great idea” I said. He got up and grabbed the phone and the phone book, and called Jakes pizza. We ordered one large cheese pizza and of course we had to get bread sticks.

He came back to the couch and said that it would be an hour before it gets here. I played the movie and we finally finished, then the door bell rang. It was the pizza man; Corbin grabbed the money off the counter and gave it to the young looking man. Corbin gave the man $4.00 in a tip. He came back into the house, and put the pizza on the coffee table. I went into the kitchen to grab some glasses for our pop and some napkins. Corbin was sitting on the couch waiting for me, but then he got up and put another movie. This time it was Forest Gump, the only reason why he likes this movie is because it has guns, weapons, tanks, war things. I didn’t mind watching it, it’s a good movie.

We sat there watching the movie and eating our pizza. Within 20minutes the pizza was all gone. I was getting very tired and it was getting very late. “I think I’m goanna go to bed” I said, “Yeah me to” Corbin replied. I got up and walked into my bedroom, Corbin was following me. I just crawled in my bed, and so did Corbin. We didn’t even talk, we just fell asleep. I was having very strange dreams, about my mom’s car accident, and about how it could’ve happened. I woke up many times, before I could actually sleep and not wake up. Finally I feel asleep.

The next morning it was very crazy. I woke up and it was noon, the visitation was at 2am. I had to hurry and shower, so then Corbin could shower and get ready. I got out of bed and headed for the shower. As I walked in the bathroom it had the smell of my mom’s perfume, the kind she always wore. I started to picture the memories all over again. I jumped in the shower; I needed to take a very warm one so I could wake up. Then I washed my hair and man did it smell good.

I got out of the shower and wrapped the towel around me, opened the door and started walking to my room. As I walked in Corbin was just waking up, “Honey you got to go shower so you can get ready” I said. “Alright” he said back. He got out of the bed and walked to the bathroom, plugged his iPod into the speakers. He always listens to music when he showers, I don’t know why. I guess it’s just a guy thing. My favorite song was playing, it was “I love you” by the Eli Young Band.

As I was drying my hair, I was singing to the song. My hair was all dried and then I got my straighter and started to straighten it. Corbin came into the room smelling like chocolate Axe. Which I loved it when he used that body wash, it smells amazing. “I picked out your clothes there laying there on the bed” I said to Corbin. “Ok thanks sweetheart” he said back to me. My hair was all straight, and now I had to pick out my clothes.

I walked over to my closet and opened the doors. What should I wear I thought to myself. My eyes caught my baby blue sun dress, it had gems on it. It was my favorite sun dress to wear when it is nice weather. I grabbed it off the hanger and put it on. “You look amazing” Corbin said while scanning my body in the dress. I just started to blush “well good I’m glad I still look amazing to you in it” I replied. I went to my dresser to get my shinny flower necklace and earrings. Corbin put my necklace on for me, and then I put in my earrings. I left the room so then Corbin could get dressed and ready to go. I walked out of my room and went to the kitchen to grab my purse and the car keys. Corbin came out of my room and into the kitchen. He grabbed his and mines Oakley sunglasses. “It’s time to go” I said. “Alrighty I’m already to go” said Corbin. I had the car keys and we both walked out of the house. I had to make sure that the house was locked. I got into the car and opened the garage door.

Backed out, and started driving. The visitation was at the “Kramer Funeral Home”. We got there and my grandma and the whole family was standing outside, talking and smoking. They had smiles on their faces, I was glad to see no tears coming down their faces, well not yet at least. Corbin and I got out of the car and started walking towards my family. Samantha came running up to me giving me a hug. “I’ve missed you” she said squeezing me.

We went up to my family and nobody was crying, they all had smiles on their faces and laughing. This can’t be that bad after all, I thought to myself. I went up to my grandma and gave her a hug and started talking. As I was talking to her, a weird man came up to me and started talking to me, asking how I was and if I needed anything. I looked to my grandma and gave her a look, wondering who this man was. Then finally he told me that he was my mom’s boyfriend, and they had been dating for three years. His name was Cory.

He had three kids, one 17-years old, 21-years old, and the youngest was 15-years old. I had no idea that my mom had been in a relationship with anyone, because she didn’t act like she was in a relationship. She brought different guys home every night; I guess he knew about what was going on. I was standing there shocked and so was my family. My grandma told me that it was probably time to go inside. I grabbed Corbin’s hand and walked into the funeral home. As I walked into the doors, there were pictures everywhere and flowers too. Then I saw the casket, there was my mom lying, dead no pulse. Pale and no life left in her. I tried my best to keep the tears from falling, but I couldn’t.

Corbin just had his arm around me, “its okay honey” he said to me in a whisper voice. My grandma came in and so do the rest of my families. We all just walked around the funeral home, looking at all the pictures and the memories that we have had with her. Five minutes later the pastor came and talked to us and shared that even though she’s gone we can still celebrate everything we have had with her. “Remember the memories with her” the pastor said. Then he said a prayer, he said my mom’s favorite verse. After he was done talking we went to this room were chairs were all set up against the wall.

We all sat down in them, and that’s where we had to great the people and talk to them. People started walking in, now I’m not the kind of person that likes to be around a lot of people, or in a group, but the room filled up with people coming in. Corbin was sitting right next to me, which I was very happy he was, because of how many people there. I’m sure if I didn’t have him by my side telling me everything is going to be ok. I would be very stressed and worked up. People just came up to me and shook hands with me and telling me that they were sorry for the loss.

People was coming in non-stop, I didn’t think that this was only going to be an hour. Hours and hours went by and people just kept coming in. I thought this was going to last five days, because of how full the funeral home was. Finally two hours, people stopped coming in. I was happy because then I could finally go home and not have to talk or shake peoples hand anymore. Corbin and I stayed afterwards just to help clean up and get everything packed up and brought to my grandma’s car.

After we put everything in her car, Corbin and I walked across the street and got in the car and drove off back to my house. When we got home, we went straight to the hot tub, to relax before the stress-full day tomorrow. As we were sitting in the hot tub, we started talking about how tomorrow was going to go. I couldn’t believe that the day is tomorrow. Corbin looked at me with a scared face. It was getting late and I decided to go back in the house to shower and go to bed. I got out of the hot tub and grabbed my towel, put on my flip flops and walked into the house. I got in the house I went straight to the bathroom, to take a shower.

When I got out Corbin was right outside the door, waiting for me to get done so he could shower. I walked into my room and put on my pj’s and crawled into bed. I grabbed the TV remote and turned on the TV to SpongeBob. As I was watching TV Corbin came in to the room and grabbed his clothes and walked back out. To go to the bathroom to change. When he got dressed he walked back to the bedroom and crawled in bed with me. We cuddled, and soon enough we both fell asleep.

“Beep, beep, beep”. It was my alarm clock waking me up. “Great time to get up” I thought to myself. “Hun its time to get up and get ready” I said to Corbin. “Fine” he replied. I went into the kitchen to get the coffee started. After that I went back to the bathroom to take a shower. When I got out I went into my bedroom and grabbed my hair dryer and dried my hair. Corbin went to the bathroom to take a shower. Again I could hear his music playing. After my hair was dried I grabbed my straightener and straightened my hair. I walked to the closet to get out my yellow sundress. “I’ll wear this for the funeral” I said to myself.

Then I had to pick out Corbin’s clothes. I picked out his black suit with a black undershirt and a yellow tie. It wasn’t his favorite suit to wear, but he had to because I picked it out. I placed his clothes nicely on the bed. I walked out of my room back into the kitchen and poured Corbin and I a glass of coffee. “Hun your clothes are on the bed” I said to Corbin as he was walking into my bedroom. “Okay thanks sweetheart” he replied as he shut the door. He got dressed and came out into the kitchen and drank his coffee.”Its time to go” I said. Corbin grabbed the car keys; I grabbed my purse and my coffee glass and walked out of the door. We got into the car and drove off to the church.

We got to the “Bethel Free Church” it’s were I grew up in and went to awanna ever since I was a kid. There were many cars their already. “Great I thought to myself”. We got out of the car and walked into the church holding hands. I kept telling myself everything was going to be okay. All the flowers were there and pictures. We walked to the room were the whole family was. When we walked in people were talking and drinking pop, it looked like they were having a good time. We started talking and then walked in the pastor. He said a prayer and then we all went over to the casket to see her one last time and say our finally words with her.

It was my turn to see her; I couldn’t keep the tears from coming. I reached my hand for hers and said my last goodbyes. After I said my goodbyes the funeral guys closed the casket, so they could bring it into the sanctuary. I and Corbin and Samantha were right behind her casket walking in, and the rest of the family behind us. As we were walking in all eyes were on us. I couldn’t stand to look and them or bring my head up. We got to the front of the room and we sat in the chairs. We had the ceremony and then went out to the graves. Corbin was driving out there.

They had a tent out there right over where they were going to burry my mom. I put on my sunglasses and got out of the car. Corbin reached for my hand and we walked together. I went over to the casket and they let me put in with her a case of her favorite beer and her iPod, just in case she wanted to have happy hour down there with her new dead friends. They shut the casket and I grabbed the flowers off of it and stood back. As they put her down into the ground. I cried even more, but then decided I have had enough for today. I walked back to the car and got in. everyone else was still standing there crying, but I didn’t want to be around anymore. Corbin and I left. I looked back and said “I love you mom you were the best mom I could’ve asked for, I know you’ll be watching over me, making sure I stayed out of trouble, this isn’t goodbye”. My life as I knew was going to change, but she isn’t gone. She will always be with me no matter what.