“Farrah”








What is pain? Why do we feel it? Why are we here? Why do we suffer to get what we want? I stared at my nurse’s chart; it said, Farrah Stonem, mentally ill. Need more time here at Happy Place Institute.






“Farrah Stonem!” I looked up and it was my mother. She’s full of bull, she acts like she love me and she doesn’t. She hugged me and asked how my day was.





What about you? All I’m seeing is your mouth moving but nothing come out. “Farrah? Are you okay?” She looked worried, and that’s only my imagination. It’s impossible for her to care about me. I bet she’s only here for the pity. (chuckles) yeah, that’s what she’s here for, pity. Not to see her daughter. Giving me gifts, thinking that other people would have pity on her.



“Honey?” I looked down and sang tunes, ignoring her. She looked at me for long time, her look was… disappointed. Eventually, she left. But before she leaves, she gave me a letter.




“It’s from Tundra’s family.” I looked at her with an angry face because I told her to not mention her ever again. She smiled so softly at me and left. I looked at the letter for a long time wondering if I should read it or not. I opened the letter and read it. I was so angry and I decide to crushed the letter and throw it into trash. How could she give me that? She knows I’ll break down... I walked to my chair next to the window. I sat down and realized that it was pouring so hard. I stared at it for a long time, hearing the dripping, and then I was hearing so close. I closed my eyes and feeling the coldness on the window.













Tundra…




(splash) (splash) “Dude! Don’t get me wet!” I laughed when Tundra kicked the puddles toward me. I pushed her down.











“Hey! Now I’m wet because of you!” Yelled, Tundra. Tundra was rather pretty, not many people think she’s pretty because of her body shape. Okay, she wasn’t the ideal girl people could think of, she may have an extra pounds on her but she was my best friend ever since elementary school. She flashed her blue eyes and gave me the puppy eyes; I giggled and pulled her up. I putted my arm around her and walked to my home.










“Ya think your mom will let me stay over? Because... You know, my brother’s there..” Frowned, Tundra.












“Oh? Your stupid piece of a thing of brother’s back from that dorky camp?” I sipped a volka from my mom’s cabinet. “Want one?” Tundra nodded her head and I gave her one.




“Yeah… My parents prepared a party for him.. And I don’t want to be there, Y’know? I sat on the couch and gestured her to sit down with me, “Well… Parents. Gotta to love them…” Tundra lay down on the floor and I joined her. “So, a penny for your thought?” Tundra looked at me.




I scrunched my nose and said, “ Naw, it’s nothing, I was thinking about how fast summer go, I mean, school starts tomor----“
“HEY! DON’T TELL ME!” Screamed, Tundra.
I clapped my ears and yelled at her for being so loud. She sat up and puffed her face. I laughed because she actually cried yesterday when I told her that school’s almost starting. Tundra and I went up to my bedroom then the door slammed open and here my mom came in. She slapped me for being a prick when I skipped her meeting for her family counseling session. I told her that I wouldn’t go because nothing is wrong with me. She was really mad but she left.
“Far? Are you alright?” Tundra patted my back. I looked at her and smiled.
“I’m fine.” It was actually a lie. Ever since my dad left her, she was a wrecked car. I rubbed my cheek, it was bright red. I grabbed Tundra’s hand and went to sleep.





The sun was rather bright this morning, I woke up and I had to close my eyes because it was so bright. I looked at Tundra and she was sound sleeping. I wished I could just leave her alone but this is a one-a-lifetime- opportunity to wake her up first. I stood on the bed and jumped as high as I can and Tundra fell off the bed and it was loud, haha.

“FARRAH!! WHAT THE HELL??” Tundra was rubbing her head and groaned. I giggled and told her it was time to go to school. We changed clothes and went outside.

She whined and moaned while walking to the school.

“Tundra, just shut up. It’s life. We have to go to school.” I continue walking. The school was horrible, sure. This school was probably the worse school in Europe. I meant it. Firresidde High School… Even the name of the school is lame.

“FARRAH!!!! TUNDRAA!!!! HOW WERE YOUR SUMMER?!?!”
“Oh, no.” I groaned. Valley just football tackled us hard and we slammed on the floor.
“OW! Valley!! Don’t get overexcited!! We just saw you last week!!” Tundra grumbled. Valley Loveless… was a very unusual girl. I met her when we were first year at high school. She was standing on a lunch table protesting about animals something... Like we have to save them and stop eating meat… She’s so blonde that everyone could notice her from the food court to the library… But then again everyone could see me because I stood out pretty much because I dyed my hair white, because why not? Valley swooshed and helped us up.

“You got new roller blades?” Said Tundra.



“Yeah! Yeah! Like it?? I got three new roller blades because they were pretty!! One black, one pink, and now lime green!!” Valley squealed. When we entered the school, the bell rang and Tundra groaned.

“Hell has begun...” Tundra walked to her class, Valley rolled to her class, and I was thinking, Hell. What’s it, really? I hope the rest of the school year will be my best and my last year. I walked to my class. I never thought something would happen and it would crush me.






I snoozed on my first class, then second, then third, and fourth. Lunch started and I brought my apple and my apple juice. I saw Tundra waving and Valley standing on the table... Again… Sure, they’re a bunch of weirdos but they’re my weirdos. I sat down and saw bunch of food on tundra’s plate, and vegetable food on Valley’s.

“Any of you know where Ace is?” Valley said it with her mouth full.
“In jail, probably” Tundra rolled her eyes. I looked at Tundra because I knew Tundra liked Ace for many years, I didn’t understand why because he was mad. I meant seriously mad. He got expelled twice and he did drugs and sold them. He rebelled polices and had thrown in Juvenile three times, and even worse, he had a corked teeth. But Tundra loved him.
“Ace’s still sleeping” I took a bite of my apple. Both of them looked at me and asked me how did I know. “I know because I saw him sleeping on the bench.”
“Aw, man! Did he lose his keys again?? He has to stop lock himself out…” Valley munched on her peppers. I shrugged and the bell rang… Tundra stood up and said,
“Science, here I come.” Tundra walked away. I was looking at her then Valley went behind my back and poked my head, interrupting my thoughts.
“What? You’re annoying me.” I waved away to her, Valley puffed her face
“You gotta stop protecting her”
I looked at her, and chuckled. “What do you mean by that?”
“You know as well as what I meant” Valley putted on her roller blades and skated to her next class. I decided to skip my class and went up on the roof, smoking cigarettes. Then I felt someone grabbing me and yelled,
“BOO!!!” I was actually startled and I looked back, it was Ace rolling on the floor hysterically. I hit him so hard yelling that I could fall off and die. “You gotta relax!! You’re always skipping classes and smoking. You could die from lung cancer” Ace continues laughing. I stood up and threw my cigarette,
“Welcome back, Asshole” I left and I still can hear Ace laughing. My last class of the day, Math. My worse subject. It’s not like I’m good in other classes, I usually get a D or an F but this class, I get like below F. I decided to walk home; I didn’t want to be at the school anymore. I regretted it when I entered my home, I saw my mom lying on the floor drunk and holding a vodka bottle. I took the bottle and realized that it was empty. I threw it into the trash and carried my mom to the bedroom and tuck her in. I gave her a kiss and left. I called Ace to talk with me. I was at the park, sitting on the bench looking at the beautiful lake. It was shiny, clean, and sparkling. I was waiting pretty long for Ace until I saw Valley rolling down and the minute I yelled her name, she ran to me like a dog would do.
“Sup, Farr????” Valley grinning with her freckles standing out.
“Come sit with me” I pat the bench. Valley sat down and continue grinning and smiling.
“Why are you so happy all the times? The town suck, the society suck, the world suck.” Valley was giving me the face of Duh face,
“Farrah. I’m a hippie and I love the way the world was made, I’m happy and you should be too.” Valley stood up and rolling in circles.
“Whatcha doing out here? I know you don’t like that kind of nature and that kind of stuff”. You said it was ugly and making you depressed” Valley was looking at me closely
“ Relax, I still hate the nature and I’m waiting for Ace to come.”
“Huh? I just saw Ace!! He was with Tundra.” Valley stumbled and fell over her butt. “Owww….” I stood up and I was pretty angry because I knew Ace. He would do something to hurt anyone, even Tundra.
“Valley! Where the last time you saw them together?? I grabbed her shirt and made her to get up.

“Whoa! Easy! I just saw them walking to Tundra’s house!” Valley brushed off the dirt on her clothes. I ran as fast as I can to her house. The time I arrived to her house, both of the cars were gone, obviously Tundra’s parents took Tundra’s precious brother somewhere. But that means they’re alone in the house. I barged in and I couldn’t find them. I yelled at Valley to help me look for them. I was planning to look at Tundra’s room first but it was locked. I knew it. I just knew. I pounded on the door and yelling at them to stop. Tundra unlocked the door just barely and she looked so shameful. I looked at her and I was disappointed. I just left and I was staggering around on the road and it got me thinking about my childhood with Tundra. I remembered that we went to a unfinished building and carved on a wall saying “Bestest fends forvr!!” I smiled and realized that the time just went though us and we didn’t have time to just relax. M phne rang and it was my dad, yelling me when am I going to home. I realized that time had already passed and it was dark. Night. I walked and walked to my home, sometimes I just wish I can just sleep outside and don’t hear any yelling in the house. When I entered my home, my dad was sitting on the couch saying,
“Where have you been?” He looked angry. And drunk.
“ Nothing. Just usual.” I went to my room and ignoring my dad yelling at me. I lay down on my bed, it was a long day ever I had. I just realized that I didn’t take my pills, so i stood up and took my pills and went to sleep.






The next day was so slow. It was lunch and I don’t want to see Tundra’s face so I ate my lunch alone in the biology class. Sometimes I like to eat in there because it was peaceful and it was full of dead frogs.
“Farrah? Are you okay?” It was Tundra. “Farrah, I swear we didn’t do anything. Please.”
I sighed so heavily and just forgave her. She made a mistake, all of us do. “It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s not like I love him or something. Hoes before bros, right?” Tundra looked at me and thanked me for forgiving her. It’s not like I would hate her. She had lot of problems lately so I tried my best to support her. “ Hey? It will be fine. Want to go somewhere and destroy some things?” I brushed some Tundra’s hair.
Tundra looked at me and smiled, “You said something about destroying buildings?”
I grinned.
“Whoo!!!!! BOOM! BAM!” Tundra continued throwing the fireworks and watched them go BOOM!!!!
“Hey! I bought metal bats, more fireworks, and our goggles!” Valley stumbled and was full of things in her arms. I grab some fireworks and lit it up but I was an idiot to hold it. It flew up and I went flying!! I swear it was the best feeling I ever had! I went crashing into the wall, hit my arm… Hard…
“S***, I think it’s dislocated.” I couldn’t move my arm. Until Valley decided to take the courage and pulled my arm. “OW!!! Ow! Ow! It hurts really bad!” Then I laughed because it happened to me like… Two… no, Four times. Haha.
“I AM DR. DOOM AND I HAVE COME TO FIX YOUR ARM!!!” Valley talked in robotic voice.
“NO, DR. DOOM. I AM DR. STEEL AND HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU, FARRAH!” Tundra stood on the rock and pulls out her bat and said,
“Dr. Doom!! We shall fight for the hand of the Princess Farrah!!!”
“We shall!!!” Valley pulls out her fireworks and started lighted them.

BOOM! BAM! (Crashing sounds) AHH!!!! ARGHH!!!!! “I AM THE KING!!!”
“NO! I AM!!!” CRASH!!! (Some yelling)
“SAVE ME!!!” They couldn’t stop fighting and I couldn’t stop laughing. It was the best night ever.








And the last night together.

The morning came again and it was rather beautiful, orange and purple sky… I never really have been that happy ever.
(Yawning) Tundra woke up and she looked at Valley and Farrah the funny way.
“That’s weird…” She looked around and she was very high and above them... Then she realized that she was upside down!!! “ Oh, shi---“
She yelled and crashed on the floor. Valley woke up and she was on the sink drooling.
“ What... the… Why are I here and why were you upside down….? “
“Never mind that, why are Farrah sleeping on the toilet?” I was snoring and I didn’t realized that they wrote on my face saying “LOSER” on my forehead with a permanent marker… I woke up and I was stuck on the toilet!!
“VALLEY, TUNDRA. HELP ME!!” I pushed myself out but I couldn’t!! Tundra and Valley grab my arms and tried to pull me out but I screamed because remember, I just dislocated my arm…
“S***. S***…. Wait here farr... I have an idea... “ Valley ran out of the building.
‘Haha I guess you deserved that!” Tundra grinned so big. I scrunched my face and folded my arms.

“Who knows how long that girl will be…” I grumbled. Tundra looked at me and groaned.
“ I have a massive headache…” Tundra massaged her head.

“Hey… What day is today?” I completely forgot.
“Oh, hmm…. I think… it is… September 13th... Sunday! I groaned, only nine days left to go…


“ Hehe your 17th birthday is cominggg!!!” Tundra shook my shoulder.
“Ow… my arm, remember? Tundra pulled out and swore in French. I don’t even understand…
“Its England, y’know. It aint France here…”

“Hey, I was born there and raised there! I just use French when I panicked or just mad” Tundra puffed her face. Both of us laughed and___
“Yo people!! I bought butterrrr!!!” Valley held them up.

“There are no way I’m letting you put butter up my arse
...” I covered my butt.
“Well which would you rather, rotting in there or have a buttery ass? Valley gave me the “I know it” face…
“Oh fine… go ahead.. Shove it into my arse...” Valley nodded and rubbed them around and pulled my right arm and I finally got out…
“Owwie… My ass….” I rubbed my butt.

“Well you were sleeping in it, so don’t complain.” Tundra smiled so dorky.
Three of us walked to my house then Valley and Tundra had to go. I waved goodbye to them and Valley rolled to her house, Tundra looked at me and smiled so gently.
“Bestest fends forvr!!!!” Tundra yelled.

I was really happy that moment and didn’t want to let that feeling go. I blushed and opened the door. I sat down and laughed.



It was my last laugh.



(Knocking) (Knocking) “Hello? Police here. Is this Stonem’s resident?” I heard my mom talking. It was dark, night. I was barely opening my eyes. I heard my mom yelling. I didn’t understand. I stood up and splashed some water in my eyes.. I walked so quietly down the upstairs.

“No, you cant tell Farrah, I won’t permitted that. No.” My mom was saying that.
“She has the right to know, it was her best friend we are talking about. We need to talk to her, please.” Police were breaking their voices… It was hard to understand them…

“No. No. I don’t want her to know” My mom’s voice broke and she was whimpering.


She was crying.
“Ma’am, I am really sorry but eventually she will know” I was shaking, thinking of stuff what they were probably talking about. I walked down and the police officers saw me. They were stammering and were looking at my mom for some explaining.
“What’s going on?” I looked at my mom. My mom grabbed my arms.

“Come, sit down on the couch” I sat down and I was totally lost.
“So? Why are the police officers here? Did dad do something?”

“No, no. Honey… It’s about Tundra… The bus hit her. Her skull cracked open and____” The tears just came out and I stood up and kept saying,
“No, no. You’re lying.” My mom looked down and kept saying im so sorry. I ran out and I just kept running. I was sobbing, screaming. I was so lost, ran until my feet bleed. When my energy was completely out, I fell down and screamed and screamed. I stood up again and I was staggering, my legs were so in pain but I didn’t care. I don’t care about everything now. There is no future without her.
I ran to the building and I was desperately looking for the wall we wrote. When I found it, I kneeled next to it and I was crying hysterically, whimpering, I didn’t know what to do. I cried every minute I can and I just lay there and I just collapsed. Eventually, the police found me and bought me to a hospital. I cried every five minutes then would stop then I would cry again. It lasted for two weeks then a month. When my mom came visiting, I wouldn’t talk at all, just a blank space. The doctors decided to take me to a mental hospital because they thought I was unstable to live out of the world. I was lying on the hospital bed, looking at a window. I closed my eyes and I felt a breeze.






I opened my face and my cheek was really cold. I rubbed it to make it warm. I was crying because I never really thought of the past, I didn’t want to. I looked at the trash bin and the letter was crumbled up up. I ignored it and try to forget everything about it. Past days, I had to go to counseling to help me get “better”. Ever since the letter, I haven’t stop thinking about it, and it was hard to forget. One time, my counselor said something, he said, “ Feelings don’t die easily because we keep feeding them with memories. That’s exactly why it’s so hard to move on.” I realized that I was trying to forget my best friend, and I stood up and left the counseling room and I went looking for the letter. It was still in the trash bin, I reached my hand and holds the letter. It was curved saying Farrah Stonem, From Butler Family. I gulp and opened the letter. It says:

“Dear Farrah, We are sorry for your loss. We know she is our daughter but I think she is more important to you. When she passed away, we were keeping her possessions, but when we found a letter wrote to you. It seems was a week before the incident, we decide to give this to you. And this time piece. Again, we are so sorry for your loss.”




Sincerely, The Butler family.
Wow, she was their daughter and they treated her like she’s a girl they know and not really heartbroken from that. They actually said they were sorry for my loss. Tundra and I always have hated them. Always. I pulled the letter out and held them. I didn’t realized that there was a timepiece, the timepiece was beautiful, Gold and silver lining. It was absolutely beautiful. I looked at the letter, the letter was short… The paper was crumbled up so I rubbed them making they more flat... I breathe slowly read them again. “ Farrah, I really miss you already, even we just saw each other two days ago. You are my bestest fend ever. And ill never forgot you. Ill always helps you go though the hard times. You made me smile everyday, you made me feel proud about my body, and you made me feel so positive about everything that is happening. I still remember when we were ten; you got into trouble for smoking for the first time. You got bruises over your body but you said, “I’m fine! I just got beated up but im strong, stronger than anyone here” you were g\smiling so huge. ’I don’t know why but I remember that quote and that makes me strong though my family and I am happy. Really happy. I wish I can be happy forever, but we will have problems and something bad will happen. I know you’re having problems lately but I know you will go though it and you will be fine, even without me. You will be fine, I promise. I hope you could get the chance to read this letter.




Your bestest fend forvr, Tundra

After I read it, I hugged the letter and I realized that I wasn’t supposed to be here, not anymore. I putted the letter in my drawer, keeping it precious. The Timepiece fell out and it snapped open, I grabbed it quickly, hoping it didn’t break. But I realized something was craved into it, it says,


“No matter what, never give up, never.”
I simply smiled and put the timepiece on the desk. I walked out of my bedroom and called my mom.



“Hello, Mom? I’m ready. I’m ready to move on.”