On the corner of Larsdene and Wind Willows there sat Tania’s Toy Shop. It was a quaint little building with its red roof and wooden walls. The sunlight was quickly dimming on the small shop and inside, there were already candles alight. A shadow would move across the window every now and again, but passersby would know it was just Old Tania closing her store. Making sure to get it ready for the next day’s group of children that would play and look in awe at the toys in the shop window and on the shelves.


It had been a very busy day for the cozy toy shop. Tania went through the store straightening as she always did every evening. Picking up the stuffed animals from the floor and putting back lovingly into the big oak chest and sweeping the floor for any candy wrappers that might have been left behind after their treasures being pulled from them. She next went through the shelves where she searched for any bottle tops or misplaced toys. She lined the toy soldiers back up into their marching formation off to some unknown battle, set the rocking horse back on its rockers, and nestled the dolls back together in their groups. When she placed the last doll into a group, she saw a tiny book hidden behind a jar full of marbles. It was perfect for the size of a small doll, but she had never seen this toy in her store before, for most of them she had made by hand. She carefully picked up the tiny book about the size of a pack of matches. It opened slightly and Tania saw what she thought was writing. She adjusted her spectacles to get a better look, but they helped very little. Tania then remembered her magnifying glass she uses at her work station to repair broken toys and quickly made her way to the bench. Inside the top drawer, she pulled out her magnifying glass and a small pair of tweezers. Bringing the oil lamp closer, she began to read her small find, turning each page with the help of the handy tweezers.



The life of a toy you see really isn’t easy. Especially if you’re an old raggedy doll like me. For toys, all we want is to find a child that will love us and play with us forever. Unfortunately this doesn’t happen for every toy it seems. I am still on this shelf aren’t I? What child would ever like to play with me? My red dress is frayed a little on the edges and my blonde yarn hair is starting to fray at the ends. The other toys look so new. The fire truck with his bright red paint, the toy soldiers without a single scratch, and the rocking horses without a crack to be found in their wooden bodies. It makes me slightly jealous when I see the children everyday take the other toys home. Even yesterday, my friend, a doll named Isabella, got chosen by a child who took her into their arms in a loving embrace. At times though, I am looked at by a passing child. They pick me up in their soft hands and they play with me for a little bit. My hopes go up and I believe I will be chosen, but soon enough, the child spots a nicer toy than I. I get dropped just like the candy wrappers the old shop keeper sweeps up in the evenings. Forgotten, becoming a faded memory that eventually cover in dust. I lay on the floor until the shop keeper starts to tidy up the shop for closing and I end up back on my shelf with the other dolls. They giggle every time this happens to me, for they are never dropped onto the ground. They are either put back on the shelf or bought just like the other toys. But I continue to hope to be just like them one day. Some child will take me in their arms and play with me to their heart’s content. At least that is what I still believe in hoping for. One day though it did happen.


A little girl came into Tania’s store. She wore a white dress and petticoat. Her red hair tied into pigtails running beside her ears. Her big blue eyes scanned the store with such vivid excitement, that I couldn’t help but smile. Today could be the day I had thought. She has to notice me. Please let her notice me. And in fact she did. She was roaming the shelves when she spotted me. She squealed with delight and picked me up to be hugged tightly. She bounced up and down at her mother’s feet and held me up to her. The little girl’s mother nodded and smiled. She then took me to the register. At that moment, my heart soared. I was getting chosen by my own child. One I could imagine playing with me at a tea party or in a small doll house of my own. Showing me to all her friends and wrapping her arms around me as she slept. All of these fantasies rushed through my mind as a coin was passed into the hand of Tania. I was then her’s. The little girl hugged me again and nuzzled her face against mine. I saw the other dolls look upon me with jealousy as my little owner and I left the store. I thought my dreams had come true, but I was wrong. When I arrived in her bedroom, she flung me into the air and was trying to catch me and failed. I dropped to the floor with a soft thud, but was soon retrieved into her arms. She then set me on a chair and combed my hair with her fingers humming a tune. Then a small dog walked into the room and hopped into the bed with us. It began sniffing at me with intense interest. My girl tried to shoo it way, but it then grabbed me up into its jaws. I became very frightened as its teeth tightened its grip on my side and started to shake me from side to side. The little girl tried coming to the rescue by grabbing my legs and arms. I was soon the center of a tug of war between the dog and child. Then, what I had feared most happened. A terrible rip sounded from my abdomen as I was torn in two. I was dropped from the dog’s mouth as my stuffing rained upon the floor. My sight started to grow dim as I saw the little girl started to cry over me and picked up my broken body. I don’t remember much after that until I was back in the store being repaired. Tania’s gentle hands were sewing back together my body. I saw the little girl watching as I was being repaired, but then, she started to let her eyes wander across the store. Then she saw a new porcelain doll with brown curls coming out of a bonnet. I looked in horror as the little girl picked the new doll up and hugged it. She then came to Tania and asked if she could trade me for the doll she now had in her possession. Tania looked at me and then back at the little girl. She nodded slowly and the little girl that had once loved me jumped with joy cuddling the new doll. She then left with her mother. That was the last time I saw her. And again, I was back on my shelf, but with a scar of stitching. I knew that no other child would look upon me then. No child would want a broken toy like me.


The rest of the days seemed to blur into months. Children coming in everyday with their bright eyes just scanning over me, then fixating on something else. It was my stitching. My red dress was just a background to the burgundy stitch like scar across my middle. Some kids would reach for me then their hand stopped midway when their eyes caught the sight of the stitches holding me together. I knew they didn’t want a broken doll. Especially not one with such a bright thread against my simple dress. Tania seemed to notice though that children were staring at her handiwork and discovered her mistake. She took me off the shelf and replaced the thread with a color that matched my dress. After she finished, you could barely tell that I had been fixed. A child would have to look at me closely to find the thread. I could be chosen again then, but I still had doubts. Even though the scar wasn’t as visible, I still felt it and knew it was there. I did notice though that children started to look at me with more interest instead of just quickly passing their eyes over me. One girl even picked me up and played with me for about an hour. She didn’t have any money to buy me, but I enjoyed the attention nevertheless. But still I was just looked at briefly until the sheen of a nicer toy caught the young ones’ eyes. I was starting to get covered in a thin layer of dust when I decided that I should just throw myself away.


When the other toys heard this, they were shocked. Every toy knows what happens when we get thrown away. A toy that ends up in the garbage will either end up forgotten forever under a pile of heaping garbage, shredded to bits and pieces, or incinerated. I told them it was better than just waiting for a child to come along for me. One of the rocking horses had told me that my time will come to be bought, just like everyone else, but I didn’t believe the rocking horse. I had waited too long for such a day and I was tired of that endless waiting. Just sitting on my shelf watching children just pass their eyes over me. Not even staring, just grazing their eyes across my tiny body. It was a bit torturous, the waiting. I learned not to get my hopes up when a girl or boy comes in because I knew they would never choose me. So that is why I chose to end my small existence and maybe make room for another toy that would have better luck than I. So I started to make my way to the garbage can the old shop keeper kept under her desk. Climbing down the shelves wasn’t easy to accomplish for they were rather large for a doll of my stature, but I managed until I was about two shelves from the ground. My hand had slipped and down I fell right as the store opened for business. I couldn’t move at that point, or I would have been seen by someone. People weren’t supposed to know that us toys could move around or talk to each other. They would think we were what they called possessed by an evil spirit and wish to destroy us instantaneously. I would have moved to cause this to happen, but I would put all my fellow toys in danger of the same fate and that was something I didn’t want. They would have happy futures with an owner that would cherish them unlike me.


As I layed there, staring at the ceiling, many pairs of feet stepped over me or kicked me to the side. I didn’t care. Then Peter came in. A big boy with large ears and a messy mop of black hair that was always in his eyes making him squint. Every toy in Tania’s store knew Peter to be a toy murderer. He was a horrible boy that would laugh as he pulled them apart or smashed them into tiny pieces. His main enjoyment though was to take a magnifying glass and burn them using the sun. I was hoping that maybe he wouldn't see me. Even though I wanted to not exist, I didn’t want to be destroyed by Peter. Unfortunately, he spotted me. I heard his footsteps coming ever closer and closer then stop right in front of me. His big clumsy hands closed around me and lifted me to his face. His black hair was a mess as it always was and his eyes were squinting as he looked at me. Then I saw behind him one of the big boys pass in front of the window. Apparently, he saw this as well and then tore my arm off and threw me across the room. He had a tendency to act quickly if one of his friends were around. I guessed that he didn’t want them to know that he played with toys, even if it was a horrible way to.


When I landed, Tania made Peter leave the store and told him never to return ever again. Then she shuffled over quickly and scooped me up in her gentle hands. I felt her knowing eyes search my body for more damage and then she went to her workbench. Again, I was sewn back together and put back on to the shelf. The other toys were worried and asked me if I was okay, but I stayed silent as I sat on the shelf. My thoughts of trying to get thrown away ended. I didn’t want to try again. I realized I was scared of being destroyed and would rather try to live my life instead. I started to believe my friends that someday I would get chosen. And I began to wait for that day. Even though I was sad, I kept hoping.


Then it happened. It was a cold day in the month of October. Not many children were coming in today, so it was rather quiet in Tania’s store. Then, in walked this young boy. He fluffed out his brown hair and surveyed the room. Walking down my aisle, he suddenly stopped as his eyes befell me. They were big, curious brown eyes. There was kindness in them too. He smiled and picked me up as gently as if I was a kitten. I thought that he would see the shiny red fire truck and drop me as other children did, but he kept his eyes on me and me alone. I felt special at that very moment. And then I heard a coin being dropped on Tania’s desk. He bought me. I felt like I could fly. Being held by him was the happiest thing in the world to me. They were warm and reassuring. I knew he would love me. And I would love him.


I have now been with him for many years. Even though he doesn’t play with me as much, I still have shared wonderful memories with him and sometimes I get a touch of his fingertips. Whoever you are that might find my little book of memories might be wondering how it got into Tania’s store again. Well, my boy wanted to get another toy so I could have a companion as he had told me on our way to the old toy store. As he was buying a set of toy soldiers, I quickly wrote down these very last words to you and set down my list of memories you are reading now. And just to let you know, I am happy and will forever be this way since I have found the love we are all searching for.


Tania wiped away a small tear that had formed in the corner of her eye. She smiled sweetly as she closed the tiny book about the raggedy doll that had found love. She put the book into her apron pocket and went to her shelves full of toys looking at them all. She smiled and with a twinkle in her eye said, “Someday, you shall all find your happiness. It might not be today, or tomorrow, but it will come. And know this. I love you all.”.