To Alex:

I bet right know your wondering why I wrote you a letter, and how you got it since I'm dead. Well I sent this out the night I died. This was actually the last letter I wrote, so that makes this one of the lasts things I touched before I died.

I got off topic. Back to the reason why I wrote you this lovely letter. Did you and Jasmine break up yet? Doesn't matter anyway does it? Well I have a secret. Yes I have a secret oh a very juicy secret it is. I have a crush. You're probably wondering why I'm telling you this right? I like you Alex. Yes you.

No I didn't kill myself because of you. I just thought I'll let you know. I never meant to hurt you Alex. I just want what's best for everyone even if it means causing myself pain.

I don't know how you feel about me, but I'm sorry if you like me. I'm sorry I caused Jasmine to bully me and get mad at you. I'm sorry,maybe we could have been together who knows. I just want what's best for you Alex, and that's all I want. Just know that this isn't goodbye, and never say goodbye.

Until we meet again Alex just stay happy.

Hello Jasmine,

I bet you thought you got rid of me. No even threw death I will always be here watching, waiting. Guess what! I heard the most exciting gossip a while ago. Who was it about oh I remember...me, it was about me. And lets see who said this wonderful rumor.. you and only you said this. So let's start over.

Hello my first ever bully,

Didn't think you would have to deal with me and my... how you put it "weirdness" again did you? Well your not always right... like that time you called me and my family weird. Well guess what I heard, your family isn't that normal either so you're one to talk.


Why you do it? Why did you feel the need to ruin my sad life. Oh yes you didn't know everything about me. My dad almost died. Twice. I could of cared less if you called me weird. Lets put it this way, I am. Everyone is a least a little bit. But my family...no don't even go there. If you have a problem with me keep it between you and me not them.

Jasmine I never did anything to make you dislike me except for one simple thing that I couldn't help. I fell for your boyfriend. Lets face it you're not going to last. You complain about him every other day. Did you know people are guessing when you're going to break up? The truth hurts doesn't it?

No I didn't kill myself because of you. You may of been part of it, but you're not the full reason. I just didn't see a life worth living any more. Did you know that after you started bulling me, more people started bulling me. Do bullies attract each other and swarm the victim until she's/he's dead?

Did you like my funeral? Or did you not even go. I know you won't like this but even if you didn't go I hope Alex did. Were you scared I was going to steal him from you? Is that why you felt the need to bully me? If you did go to my funeral I hope you liked the poem they read. I know they read a lot of poems but this one was very special. It was about you Jasmine. I dedicated a poem to you. it even had your last name in the title. And if you didn't go make sure to read that poem it would be a shame if you didn't read the poem I wrote about you and only you. In fact most of the last poems I wrote were about death and bulling I just realized that.. ironic much? Well Jasmine I must go I have other letters to write. Tell Alex I send my last see you later, he'll know what I mean.

Goodbye Jasmine and here's to never meeting again,

The victim.

Hey Suri,

How are you? I'm sorry I broke my promise. I didn't mean to. Yes I did kill myself but I had my reasons. You'll find out but not from this letter.

Sur, don't be mad. Hey do you remember when we were little and you left my bunny cage open and then it got hit by a car? I was mad but I forgave you, so can you please forgive me?

Remember that prank we pulled on Ms. Smithy? She was stuck to her chair for a week. How about the one that ended up with us scaling the school, oh how I wish we could relive those days.

That was before it all started. Everything went down hill after you moved away, even though it was just to the next town over. Sure you still went to the same school but you lived at school you didn't take the bus to and from school everyday like we used to. Boarding school stinks in that way.

Hey Suri can you do me a favor? Build that clubhouse we always dreamt of building. Build it in the woods by the park and bury a treasure map in the sandbox so little kids can find it. Make sure to put the map in an old lunchbox with candy and a note that says to put the map back when the treasure is found. Even though we can't enjoy it they sure can.

Hey Suri, even though I'm dead and not going to get married, will you do the honor of being my maid of honor? I wouldn't be able to do it without you. Maybe at my funeral you can tell Alex how much I cared about him.

You see I kind of sent this out a few days before I planned on killing myself so you would get it before the funeral. You see I have an important question to ask you. Will you speak for, well about me? You knew me the best and I couldn't ask for a greater friend then you. You're probably wondering why I did it. Well things got to tough, but I can't tell you just yet, you'll find out they all will. You know this poem,

When people look they don't see me

they see a masked person,

who is shy, quiet,

when people look they don't see,

all the hidden potential, they see a masked face,

waiting, watching, learning,

until one day shes gone

dust settles in her place,

she watches as her memories

fade away

Its called Masked. There should be a CD in the envelope the letter was in. Before the funeral starts make sure the CD is all ready to play. There will be an projector there, make sure it's all set up. When my mom reads my poems and starts to read this one play the CD and start dancing. Seven years of ballet and hip hop dancing will pay off. You can watch the CD before hand but make sure to do this please.

We can do this, one last great prank I still got it in me. Prank buddies forever? Love you to the very end. You're a sister to me you know that right?

Till next time,

Pranking Queen

Dear mom,

Hows the weather? It always seems to rain when you cry. I love you, you know that right? We never really got to bond you were always away on business. It was hard growing up without you, being by my side. I dealt with it though. I know you tried to be there for me , but you tried to late. Mom, you could never be there for me when I was growing up but let me be there for you. You fell out of love with dad, do me a favor and fall back in love. You still love each other I can see it but, you two drifted apart. Get to re-know each other. It will help in your grief. I always loved the beach. You should by that beach house you always dreamed of buying. Mom, can you do me a favor? I know you won't get the chance to help me settle into collage, but can you help me settle into my new home? Just be there until I get settled. I would very much appreciate it. I have a will, its in the top drawer of my dresser. Can you please follow its wishes? You always wanted to know who I like.... well I like Alex. There mom, I told you. Hey mom, can you please keep an eye on Suri for me? Make sure nothing bad happens to her.

I love the smell of flowers right after it rains. I love rain. I used to stand in the rain for hours just breathing in the fresh air. You always called me a strange child. I was. I liked to uncover the mysteries life help. It was all a big puzzle to me with a hidden meaning. Mom, I told you I was being bullied but you did nothing. I don't blame you but I reached out to you and you weren't there.

I love tacos. You should get a shirt a wear it to my funeral.... make sure the shirt says I love tacos. I had a list of things I wanted put on shirts one day. Maybe you could make some and give them out at my funeral. That way you'll always have a piece of me. Mom, this is the hardest letter i had to right so far. There's just so many things i want to say to you nut i don't know how to say them.

I remember when i was little, how i used to run with my hands in my pockets. My knees would be scraped up every week. You know... I was going to write a letter to my idol. I didn't see the point, she probably wouldn't of got it and if she did, I didn't want to make her cry. Shes been through the same stuff as me. Her music help me put of my suicide for a little, but it stopped working when i needed it most. Things got to bad and her music wasn't there to help me.

Mom I wrote a poem the other day.

Perfect

Her hair falls perfectly, not an ounce of doubt.

Her makeup is done flawlessly, no blemishes in sight.

Her clothes are the best, never worn twice.

Perfect, is how they describe her.

But yet she still feels the need,

to pick on me.

Point out my flaws, just to make herself feel better.

This seems like the perfect remedy, for everyone

but me.

As she rises in popularity, I slowly sink down. Fall in on myself, no one needs to know.

That every word, sentence, phrase,

uttered from her perfect lips

Kills me until I'm gone.

Its called Perfect, I wrote it about my bully Jasmine. Make sure she reads it please.

Make sure everyone gets their letters because if I wrote them one it means I had something important to say.

I love you mom don't forget that. You will always be in my heart as i will always be in yours. this isn't goodbye, merely a see you later.

Until we meet again mom. Keep your head held high,

Your Unforgotten Daughter.

Dear Sam.

Hey there buddy, hows it going. Fifth grade getting any better? Don't worry in a couple of years the girls will be begging on your doorstep. Don't forget what I told you, be yourself. Everything happens for a reason, just remember that. Sam will you sing at my funeral. I know you're only 12 but you have the voice of an angle. I don't care what song you sing, just one that comes from your heart. I know this must be hard for you, it will be. I can only imagine the things people are going to say about you, about me. Just know no matter what they say, I will always be your loving sister. I love you to the fountain of youth and back. NO matter what they say about me I will always be the person I am in your heart and no mean words can change that. Remember those hot days we would spend in the field gazing at the never ending clouds? This isn't our last goodbye and never will be. When the days are hot and the clouds never end, go out in the field like we used to and I'll be there. Whether its in the wind or the clouds I will be there as long as you are.


I don't mean to make you sad or make you mad. I have that effect on people though. Life is just full of surprises and you just got to take what it throws at you. I swear on our never ending friendship if you come up here before its your time to go I will knock some sense into you one way or another. Don't forget I am a secret ninja after all. I can do the impossible, always have always will. Like when I was in third grade and ran into a tree on my bike and flew across the road and into an empty field without a scratch. Don't believe me Mom caught it on video. We all know I will and always will be cooler than you. Just face it bro you have a lot to live up to. I'm going to miss our weekly banter sessions.


Hey little bro guess what, this ninja still has a few tricks up her sleeves. In a couple of weeks you will get a letter in the mail. I'm going to tell you what it is for shortly because I want to be able to give you it somehow. Just remember don't get mad.

Alright then this gets its own paragraph because I'm an awesome ninja like that. A couple of weeks ago at your school talent show, remember how everyone was quiet until the end? That's because I told them to be so I could make a video of you singing. Well I made that video and I sent it to America's got Talent, Ellen, The Voice, X Factor, and basically anything else I could. Well a couple of days ago I got an email saying that you were welcome to audition for.... America's got Talent and the X Factor. I told them you would audition for both and them chose from there, In the mail you will be getting first class tickets to audition for the X factor and if you make it you stay if you don't you go on to America's got talent. Am I the best sister ever or what?

I sure am going to miss your laugh. It fills the whole room up with joy and laughter. No one will ever beat your laugh in a laughing contest and if they do I want to meet them! Anyway You see the CD in here with the letter? You can not watch it. When you arrive for your auditions give the person the CD they will know what to do, if they don't they don't pay attention and tell them to play it on the projector. Its one of my last gifts to you.

I love you Sam forever and always,

Your awesome ninja sister.

Dear Mrs A.,

How are you? I can only imagine how strange theis must be getting a letter from an old recently deceased student. You see you're no thee only one getting a letter from me. I'm writing theese letters to people who touched my life in good ways or bad ways, and to some who I just need to talk to one last time before I move on. Well you should be glad to hear theat you touched me in a good way.

You were my 5the grade teacher, and helped me therough one of my toughest times. To bad you weren't theere when I needed someone. You helped me out of a whole I fell in when my life was slowly crumbling at thee seams. You told me how your dad had cancer too and how it got better. All theose time I came into school early just so I could help you out, was like my own little theerapy session and i needed theat badly. You were always theere and willing to lend a helping hand and listen when ever I needed it. You were thee first person I really opened up to and theat was a big step in my life.

I'm sad to say theough theat becoming more open had more negative effects when I got older and I often wished theat I went back to hiding my true feelings. But theen I remembered how all my emotions used to build up and I would keep going like theat until I burst and no one could help me. I wouldn't let anybody in. So I decided to be myself and face thee bullies theen go back to theat mental state I was in. I made thee right choice even theough in thee end... I ended up dead.

You were my first mentor and never pushed down my dreams about wanting to become a writer. You would support me no matter what. Thank you for theat. Its funny how theings turn out some times isn't it?


You will always be in my heart no matter where my heart is. Right before I started being bullied, I guess you could say I sensed it so I started to box my feelings up again. Then one day I got out a notebook and started to write. I didn't write a story like I normally do, instead I wrote a poem. That was thee first ever poem I wrote and when I started I couldn't stop. I put everytheing I was feeling into theose poems and theis was before it got bad. My first couple of poems were nice, but theen theey started turning dark and gloomy. I was writing about deathe and lost love and bullies, and theen I started being bullied. I guess I knew it was coming, but I don't know how I knew. No one knew about theese poems and If you went to my funeral you would of heard theem and know what I'm talking about. These poems were my last resort. I noticed as I started to write more poems my taste in music started to change. Instead of listening to up beat pop music, I switched to emo/punk, rock, and more music theat had deeper meanings. If my friends noticed theey didn't say anytheing. They just listened along to whatever I played. When I was withe theem I would change thee music after a song ended but when i was alone I would listen to thee latest song i bought on replay until I went to bed. It was king of like music was my drug, my only way out. It was helping me hold togetheer, but even music failed me. But even medicine wears off after time doesn't it.

Remember When....

I remember when I was little.


I used to dance in thee rain, wash away my fears.

I remember how thee sun shined and made it okay.

How thee air would be filled withe laughter and joy.

How everyday theere was sometheing to look forward to.

I grew up, I am no longer theat little girl who laughs everyday.

I'm a teenager who no longer sees thee world therew innocent eyes.

I dread everyday, for thee pain theat it brings.

The sun no longer makes it okay, how it just looms overhead.

And how thee air is still filled withe children's laughter, but how theat only serves as a memory of what could of been.

I look toward my future and only see doom.

Notheing bright lies ahead.

Only thee dark bleak misery.

Oh, how i look back on my childhood and wish withe all thee fire in my heart to change thee pathe theat I'm on.

But what lays ahead is set in stone,

and only for me to know.



I wanted you to hear theis poem. It tells thee story of how my life changed. How i was forced to grow up. Now people will read theis poem and theink what a messed up person wrote theis poem no wonder shes dead. I'm okay withe theat, because theey don't know me and never will. I'm afraid no one will ever truly no me because I don't even know myself.

Its been nice talking to you Mrs. A. maybe you could come and maybe you could come visit me someday. I know I won't be thee greatest of host but I sure can listen and I will always be theere for you like you were for me. Mrs. A. you really changed my life and I wished we bothe could of seen thee out come. You are one of my friends in a teacher sort of way. You always will be, no matter what separates us.

Until our next rendezvous,

your former student.

Dear Dad,

Stop! I command you to stop! Don't blame yourself because right now I know you are. This is not your fault or will it ever be. You were always there for me and when I say always I mean always. Every nightmare to every case of the hiccups you were waiting on me head and foot to try to make up for mom. I know you felt bad for me growing up without a mom but I was fine with it being just you and me, me and you. That's how it always was and how it will always be.

Dad you are my rock. Always knowing when I needed a shoulder to cry on. even when you got sick you would be your stupid stubborn self and find a way to put me first. I love you to the moon and back and always will, as the same for almost everyone getting these letters from me.

How did you like my funeral, if it hasn't happened yet you will be up for a surprise. Shh! Don't tell anyone! You heard me right... this pranking queen still has a few up her sleeves. I love you daddy.

Mom told me once that when I was little the first word i said was daddy. Not mommy or some easy word like ant or food but daddy and from that moment on she knew I would be a daddy's girl. I guess I wasn't I?

In my other letters I ran out of things to say so I left them a nice lovely poem that I wrote that summed up how I feel. I'm not going to do that to you but at the same time I can't find the words to say. If I could I would probably fill this whole letters up with I love yous but that would miss the point. Speaking of points, I have a point I should get to.

When you go threw my stuff you will find a letter. I know this may sound weird but I signed up for the talent show. Did you know it was going to be on the news this year? Yes, they decided to put it o the news so the whole town could watch from there homes. Any way during my time slot at the talent show I want you to go on stage and read that letter you will find in my drawers. Yes they will have a time slot for me but it will be a moment of silence because last year Aubry Hills signed up for the talent show and then she got into that nasty car accident and died. They had a moment of silence during her time slot so they should have one to during my time slot. If they don't read it at the end, but it is really important that you read it during the talent show. Yes, I know you are probably wondering why and I will tell you. I want to finish this on the day it all started, the day my life started to fall apart. Now you can't read the letter before hand and I'm sorry for that, but this is my task for you. You will find out soon enough since the talent show was two months from the day I died. i planned everything out daddy. Just like they taught us at school, i was well organized. I'm sure my teachers would be proud. They always said I was to messy and didn't focus enough on my studies. But when I tried to tell them what was happening they didn't listen. They never do listen.

Now daddy, I could go back through all the good time we had but I'm not. You see you were there to you should remember. I love you daddy, don't forget that. I will always love you. Well daddy I have to go. I don't want to but I must stick to the plan, I can't be late for anything now can I? Have fun, just ask mom she knows why. Its her special task I asked her to do.

Oh, i don't mind if you and mom swap letters and all but it kind of was only meant for the person it was addressed to.

Never forget me daddy and I'll never forget you. Hugs and throwbacks, just like old times. I love you daddy.

Until we meet again,

Daddy's girl.