“Sarah! Come one, get up!”

“I’m up, I’ve been up.” I lied. “Jesus, Korynna, calm down.”

“Yeah right. You wouldn’t be awake right now if I didn’t call you.”

I sighed, “Whatever.”

“Look, I’ll be at your house in a half an hour.”

“Okay.” I said then hit the end button. I set my phone down rubbing my eyes. My gaze drifted to the clock. Five-fifteen.

What time was out flight again? I couldn’t remember. I pushed myself out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. I stripped off my clothes and stepped into the shower.
For a while I just stood there letting the warm water run down my back. My thoughts drifted to the day I told Ben I was leaving.






***

Rain petted against the window. I shifted in the passenger seat of Ben’s car.
“… and besides, at least you didn’t trip walking up the steps of the stage when you got your diploma.” I muttered.

He chuckled. “You’re so clumsy.” He said as he pulled into my driveway. I rolled my eyes running a hand through my hair.
“Well, anyway, I have to go pick up your birthday present.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“You’ll find out on your birthday and since that’s the day you get back from Florida it’s also a welcome home- what’s wrong?” he asked noticing the look on my face. I stared at my knees.
“I’m not.” I whispered.
“Not what?” Ben asked confused. I lifted my head and looked him in the eye.
“I’m not coming home.” I explained.
“What are you talking about? It’s only a month trip, your parents-”
“Are killing me. Ben, I have to get out of here.” I said. He paused realizing just how much staying with my parents was hurting me. Ben nodded.
“I don’t want to leave you.” I said softly. He shook his head.
“Like you said, you have to get out of here. Although out of curiosity why do you need a trip to Florida to leave? I mean they’d obviously notice you aren’t coming back. Why didn’t you just tell them you’re leaving and go? Why trick them?”
“Look.” I sighed. “The trip was planned before I decided to go.” Ben raised his eyebrows.
“Okay, I don’t have enough money.” I admitted reluctantly. “They’re paying for the flight and I’m getting a ton of cash for spending money. That combined with the money I have now will be enough, at least till I get a job.”
“Won’t you parents be worried when you don’t come back? Wouldn’t they think something happened to you?” He asked concerned. I shook my head.
“I’m going to leave a note. I’ll be long gone by time they find it.” I sighed staring out the window as lightning flashed across the sky.
“I want to tell them in person,” I whispered. “But, if I do then they’ll try and talk me out of it. By then I’d feel too guilty to leave.”
“Sarah” Ben said taking my hand. “Do what you have to do. Write that letter to your parents, get on that plane, and go to Florida. Don’t look back, don’t think twice. Okay?”
“Okay.” I responded smiling.
“And hey, If you ever need anything just call.”
“I love you Ben.” I replied.
“I love you too” he said then kissed me softly. I grinned, then opened the door and slipped out. I kept my head down as I scampered up the driveway, rain pelting my back soaking me from head to toe. I turned around as I reached the porch, watching Ben back out and drive away.

I stayed standing there even after he disappeared into the storm. Why did it bother me that he didn’t ask me to stay? I should’ve been glad he was supporting me. Wasn’t that what I should have wanted? But I always thought he’d do anything to be with me. Now he’s just letting me go? Why?

There was a crack of thunder and I laughed suddenly realizing how stupid I’m being.

Was I actually considering even just for a moment, that Ben doesn’t love me? I thought. If you love something, let it go. That was the saying, right? That’s all Ben’s doing.

That’s the only reason he didn’t stop me. I took one last look at the street, and then slipped inside the house.
 

Michael set a cup of coffee down on his desk. Why did it bother him that he was the youngest police officer at the station?
“Kid.” He looked up. There was another officer standing at the door to his office.

Kid. Now I remember why.
“Do you have the file I asked you to get?” he asked.
“Yes sir.” Michael said pulling out a thick folder out of a drawer and set it on his desk. The officer (Michael couldn’t remember his name) grabbed the folder and exited the room without another word.

What? No thank you? He sighed and rolled his eyes. Asshole.

That’s what sucks about being the rookie. You get stuck doing everyone else’s work. Then you don’t even get a thank you. Life sucks.

Michael glanced at his watch. It was his lunch break. He stood up and snatched his keys from his desk. His house was only a couple minutes away. So it wasn’t long before he pulled into the drive way. There were boxes all over the house. He’d just moved out of his parents’ house a week ago.

Finally. He thought opening one of the boxes. It was full of plates and bowls. He moved onto another one, yearbooks. He pulled one of them out. Michael walked over to the couch and sat down. ’04-’05 was printed on the front cover. That was his eighth grade year.

He opened it up looking at himself and a few friends. Then he flipped to the seventh grade section. His gaze fell on a short, black haired girl. The name underneath read Sarah McKee.
“Sarah.” He whispered. He remembered her. He actually had a crush on her. That was before he moved to Florida that summer. Sarah. She was one of those really sweet and innocent girls.

Too shy. He sighed. She probably wouldn’t have been any fun.
“Oh well.” He said out loud. He took a last look at her picture and shut the book.

My flight took off at seven AM and landed in Fort Myers, Florida at ten thirty.




*Three and a half hours later.*

“But seriously, haven’t you ever wanted a gay friend? You have to have wanted a gay friend. Not wanting one is just unnatural!” Korynna protested as we slipped in to a cab. I rolled my eyes.
“Whatever.”
“No, not whatever!” Korynna argued. I shifted in my seat.
“Okay, maybe I sort of do.”
“Ha!” Korynna exclaimed.
“Whatever.” I repeated.

A little while later the cab driver pulled into the driveway. We paid him, got our stuff from the trunk and watched him drive off. I trudged up to the front door pulling my suitcase behind me.

This is it.
“Do you have they key?” I asked Korynna, interrupting a stream of curses about how hot it is in Florida.
“Um, yeah.” She muttered digging into her pocket. She unlocked the door and pushed to open.
“Furniture and all.” I murmured.
“Half of it is good but the rest is falling apart.”
“Really?”

“Yeah,” Korynna said “I stopped by over spring break to look at it. She brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “So we need to go furniture shopping. Saturday would probably be best for that.
“Yeah.” I agreed. The house wasn’t too bad, but personally I wanted to remodel the entire thing. It wasn’t exactly my style.

Oh well. I’m here. I’m In Florida. That’s all that matters. I convinced myself. I sat down on the couch. It sagged and the flower print was faded.

In a few years, when I have enough money, I’ll get my own apartment designed to fit my taste.

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. Korynna answered it. A girl with long brown hair stood on the threshold. She had on denim shorts and a silky, sky blue shirt. Silver hoops hung from her ears.
“Um, hi.” Korynna spat and the girl seemed surprised by the irritation in her voice.
“Hi.” She said shyly. “Sorry I live next door and I noticed someone moving in. I just wanted to say hi, but if you’re busy I’ll come back another time.”
“Whatever” Korynna said, then turned and sauntered away. The girl‘s cheeks were flushed red, slightly embarrassed.
“Hey.” I said stepping forward. “Don’t worry about her. She’s just in a bad mood because of the heat.” She smiled.
“Well that’s Florida for you, especially in the summer.”
“I’m Sarah McKee.”
“Hannah Pearson.”

A car horn honked and Hannah looked behind her. “Umm those are my friends. We were going to see a movie. I actually came over to see if you and your friend wanted to come, although I guess it’s a no for your friend.
“Well I’m not exactly in the mood for unpacking, so why not?” I responded.
“Cool.”
“Yeah. Let me go change It’s way too hot for jeans.”
“Kay.” Hannah Laughed. “I’ll be waiting in the car. I unzipped my suitcase and pulled out a pair of shorts and makeup bag, then dashed to the bathroom. Five minutes later I was walking out the door. Hannah waved me over to the car.
“Hey. This is Christy,” She said pointing to the golden haired girl in the driver’s seat. “Shrina” with the dark skin and chocolate brown eyes and black hair that fell in waves far past her shoulders. “And Jazmyn” In a flowery, red and black top with mouse brown hair pulled back into a ponytail.
“Everyone this is Sarah.” Hannah said as I slid into the backseat with her and Jazmyn.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” The responded. I shut the door and we drove down the street.
“So where you from?” Shrina questioned twisting around in her seat.
“California.” I answered. “By the way, what time is it? ‘Cause my watch says eleven but with the time difference…”
“Two Twelve.” Said Christy.
“Thanks.” I muttered resetting my watch.
“No problem.”
“So…you still in high school?” asked Hannah.
“Um no, I just graduated.”
“Oh. Same for all of us. Finally adults. Well except for Christy and I. Her birthday isn’t for another week and mines in July.” She said.
“Cool.” I responded. My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out. Ben.
“Is that your boyfriend?” Jazmyn asked looking at my screen.
“Yeah,” I said then hit answer.
“Hey.” It felt so good to hear his voice.
“Hey.”
“Having fun unpacking?” He teased.
“I’m not. I’m actually going to the movies with a neighbor and some of her friends.” I replied.
“Oh. You and Kory having fun?”
“Um, she’s not with me. She’s not really in a good mood.”
“Oh well-’’
“Um, Ben, I have to go.” I said as Christy parked the car.
“Kay, Bye.” He responded. I hit end then shoved my phone back into my pocket.
“What movie are we seeing?” I asked stepping out of the car.
“Kiss and Tell.”
“Hey! I thought we were going to AMC.” Jazmyn said.
“Well, yeah, but I didn’t feel like driving and Marquee is closer.” Jazmyn considered this piece of information for a moment the said, “True.”

We started out across the parking lot.
“Ugh! I want it to be my birthday already!” Christy complained. To me she said. “I’m going to Paris.”
“French Guys.” Hannah smiled.
“Ooh la la.” I added and we all laughed.
“Is that Michael?” Hannah asked as we approached the ticket booth. I look over at where she was looking.
“Oh Damn! He’s hot!” I hadn’t meant to say it out loud but it just slipped out.
“I know right.” Muttered Jazmyn.
“Michael!” Shrina called out. He turned looking for who’d called his name. He spotted us, and then walked over.

“Hey.” Michael said to them.
“This is Sarah.” Jazmyn said gesturing toward me. I smiled. Michael was tall with dark brown hair and sparkling blue eyes. He had a sort of Taylor Lautner smile.
“Why aren’t you at work?” Christy asked.
“They let me off early. I got bored so I came here to see if I ran into anyone I knew.”
“Well we’re going to see Kiss and Tell. You wanna come?” I asked. He shrugged.
“Why not?’’ While we were standing in line to buy tickets I noticed Michael staring at me from the corner of my eye. I looked up and he smiled at me.
“Hey, you’re next.” Jazmyn said nudging me.
“Kiss and Tell.” I murmured to the lady in the ticket booth. Hannah, Shrina, and Michael bought their tickets, and then we filled inside. I bought a small raspberry icy. I could still feel Michael’s eyes on me as I paid. When we were all ready we found the sign that said Kiss and Tell.
“Was Michael checking me out?” I wondered then I put the thought out of my mind as I stepped into the darkness of the theater.

It was four-thirty when the movie ended. Christy and Hannah were debating on where to out and eat.
“What do you think?” Hannah asked me.
“Um, you know I actually should get home.”
“Now?” Christy asked. I nodded, “I really have to start unpacking, I can’t procrastinate much longer.”
“Well, I guess I could drop you off at home before we go to eat.”
“I could drop you off.” Michael offered. “I should probably get home, too.”
“Okay.” I agreed. We said our good-byes and then I walked with Michael back to his car. He started the car. “You don’t remember me, do you?”
“Huh?” I asked. I just met you.
“We used to go to the same middle school. I remember, I was a year ahead of you, but I moved right after I finished eighth grade.” It took me a moment to recognize him.
“Michael Fornal.” I blurted out. “Yeah, now I remember.” He laughed.
“And Sarah McKee, the sweet, shy, seventh grader.”
“Was kind of shy, wasn’t I?”
“Little bit.”
“He was staring at me because he remembered me.” I realized, slightly disappointed. I sighed. Why did I care? I had Ben. I wouldn’t trade him for anything.
“So how long have you been in Florida?” Asked Michael.
“I just got here today.” He glanced at me.
“Well then you make friends fast.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Michael rolled down the window and my hair blew all around. I pulled it back into a ponytail to keep it out of my face.
“It’s really hot here.” I said.
“Yeah, unlike California, well, at least when you live five miles away from the Oregon border.”
“It was more than five miles.” I disagreed with a laugh.
“Not by much.”
“True.” I admitted.
“And the point was that most of California is hot.”
“Just not where we lived…well sometimes it was, but it wasn’t that bad.” I said just as we pulled into my drive way.
“Well it was good seeing you again.” Michael said as I unbuckled my seatbelt. The statement gave me butterflies. “No, I’m dating Ben. I’m in love with Ben. I barely even know Michael.” I told myself.
“You too.” I responded, and then I shut the door abruptly. I couldn’t ruin my relationship with Ben just because I ran in to a really sexy guy I used to know.
“Really sexy.” Said a voice, inside my head. I thought about how Michael was in middle school. He’d been so laid back and easy going. That obviously hasn’t changed. That was the one thing I liked. Been was always so serious. It aggravated me. It was hard to just have fun sometimes. But, hey, nobody’s perfect. I pulled out the key I took from Korynna before I left and unlocked the door, trying to forget about Ben and Michael.
Korynna interrupted my thoughts. “My mom’s in the hospital. I have to go back to California.”
“Wait, what happened?”
“I don’t know. I just know that she’s in the hospital. My flight leaves at seven.”
“Okay, did you call a cab?” I asked her.
“Yeah, they’ll be here in, like, ten minutes.” Korynna tapped her foot, something she always did when she was nervous.
“Hey,” I said to her. “She’ll be okay.”

Four hours later I was lying on a dusty old bed staring up at the ceiling. Yeah, the bed was dusty, gross, I know. I sighed and pulled out my phone from my pocket.

“Hey.” Said Stephanie’s voice on the other end of the line. Stephanie was my oldest sister. I trusted her just as much as I trusted Ben and Korynna…and Jordan. My older brother, by two years, who died at the age of nineteen in a car crash. It always hurt to think about him. And while my parents had my younger brother and sister – Justin and Ashley – wrapped around their little fingers, Jordan, Stephanie and I always wanted something different.

“How’s Florida?” She asked.

“Florida’s okay so far. Although the house...well saying ‘home sweet home’ isn’t exactly very fitting.”

Stephanie laughed, “Well at least you got away from mom and dad.”

“Yeah no kidding,” I agreed, “So how’s it going with you?”

“My boss called me and insolate little witch today.”

“Why?” I asked.

“You know, I’m still trying to figure that out.” She answered.

“Wow.” I muttered, slightly distracted. For the past four hours my thoughts had turned to Michael at the most random moments. This was one of those moments.

“Is something bothering you?” Stephanie asked “I can tell by the tone of your voice.”

“Well...there’s this guy.” I confessed.

“Really? Is he hot?”

“Super-hot. He was tall and his eyes were literally sparkling and oh my god his arm muscles were to die for, and he was wearing a shirt but I bet you anything he has a six pack.” I said all in one breath. “Wait...no. What am I talking about? I’m with Ben.” I added.

“Screw Ben, he’s boring.” Stephanie spoke up.

“Steph, I’m serious. I love Ben and I don’t wanna throw everything we have away for a guy I just met today. Okay, well, I’ve known him longer than that but that’s a long story and besides I haven’t seen him in like five years.”

“Okay, well you seem to only like him because he’s hot. If that’s all then you’ll probably just get over it.” She responded.

“You think?”

“Definitely, and you know what happened to Korynna’s mom? I heard she’s in the hospital.”

“I only know as much as you do.” I answered. “I hope she’s alright though. Korynna was really worried.”

“Yeah,” Stephanie whispered.

There was a long pause.

“Hey my phone’s dying,” She said. “I have to go.”

“‘Kay bye.”

“Oh! But first what’s sexy guy’s name?”

“Michael.” I laughed and then hung up the phone.

I Sat up and pulled my knees to my chest feeling homesick. I missed my sister and my friends. I missed my old bedroom and the dock. I wanted to go home.

No, you can’t. You just can’t. It’s not worth it. I persuaded myself. I wished I was back in kindergarten. Back then everything was so simple. The hardest thing was getting used to not having your parents there with you, although most children forgot about them within the hour.

Now, being older the idea simplicity is completely alien. Life is just SO complicated. Trying to make things easier usually only made them more difficult.

And that, I thought, Is why life sucks. As long as it doesn’t get any worse I’ll survive...I hope.