“Dad?” I said.
“What Jamie?” he asked.
“I wanna take this girl to a dance we're having at school,” I said.
“That's great. I always told your mother you weren't gay,” he said.
“Yeah, well I may need $200 to ask her,” I said.
“What're you gonna do? Bribe her?” he asked, laughing.
“No, I wanna make it special,” I said.
“Fine, it's your first dance going with a girl,” he said.
"Really?” I asked.
“No, I'll give you $100, ask your mother for the rest,” he said.
“Damn, okay, thanks dad,” I said. “Mom!” I yelled.
“I’m not going to be yelling Jamie! Come over here and tell me!” she said.
I sighed and dragged myself over there.
“Can I have $100?” I asked.
“May I, but for what do you need $100?” she asked.
“I need it for school,” I said.
“Jamie, use your words,” she said.
“Well, I wanted to ask a girl to the dance and I wanted to take her to go see get favorite band and have the band ask her to the dance for me. You know, how they do in the movies,” I said.
“So you need $100 to ask a girl to a school dance?” she asked.
I could almost feel the rejection.
“Yes ma’am,” I said.
“Okay. Wait right here,” she said.
She left, for what? She was probably going to go get a piece of paper and write “No” on it, like she always had. She took about 3 minutes and came back with $200. She handed the $200 to me and I sat there in shock.
“Really? I just asked for $100 mother,” I said trying to give the other $100 back to her.
“I know, I know. Take it Jamie,” she said.
“No mother, it's fine. I only need the $100,” I said. “Father already gave me $100.”
“Yes, I know, but I want you to make it perfect. This is every girls dream Jamie. Oh how I wish your father would have done something like for me at least once. He never did, not even for our wedding,” she said. “Maybe you can do this for her and help her pay for her dress once she says yes.”
“Mother, I'm not sure she'll say yes,” I said.
“She will Jamie, I'm sure of it. I know I'm not the nicest person to you, but you're not a bad guy and you're not bad looking, I mean, I am your mother,” she said.
This was the first time my mother had complimented me in a long time.
“Thanks mother,” I said, smiling.
“Yes yes, now go! You have something to plan!” she said.
“Right, haha,” I said.
I should hit Jonathan up to make sure he didn't sell the tickets. Nah, he wouldn't sell them in a day. But what if he did? I should text him in case. Wait, I didn't have his number. I guess I would just have to wait until tomorrow.
He was in the third stall again, I knocked twice like I had last time. He answered and I asked him if he had the tickets, he told me he didn't know what I was talking about. I tried to refresh his memory.
“Oh! Right!” he said.
“So do you still have them?.” I asked.
“Yeah, I still have them,” he said.
“Great, I have the money,” I said.
“That was quick,” he said.
“Yeah, can I have the tickets?” I asked.
He pulled them out of his pocket. “Here ya go,” he said as we exchanged items.
“Thanks dude,” I said.
“Anytime lil’ dude,” he said.
Yes! Finally! Now how would I ask Lalaunie to go to the concert with me? Who was I kidding? It was her favorite band! What a rush of success this was! But when would I ask her? I could ask her now! I ran up to her.
“Hey Jamie,” she said.
“Hey, you know how you told me that you loved Arctic Monkeys?” I said.
“Yeah,” she said.
“Well, I have tickets,” I said.
“I’m listening,” she said.
“I have two front row seats, would you like to go with me?” I asked.
“Would I? I'd love to go! Wait, you like Arctic Monkeys? Since when? I thought you said they were too mainstream,” she said.
“Mainstream, noo,” I said.
“Whatever you say Jamie,” she said. “So when's the concert? And where?”
“On October 13th, in San Francisco,” I said.
“Oh alright, I'll ask my parents for permission. They're going to want
to meet you,” she said.
“I'm alright with that,” I said.
“Alright, thank you so much. Do you need me to pay you back? I can pay you back for buying my ticket,” she said.
“No, it's fine,” I said.
“No, I can pay you back. I'm sure it cost you a lot,” she said.
“No, it's fine,” I said
“Oh, alright. Thanks again,” she said.
“Welcome,” I said. “Thanks for coming with me.”
“My pleasure,” she said.
So today was the day I would meet her parents. I put on the best clothes I could find in my closet. Oh god how I wish they would approve of me. What if they thought I was a bad guy? Would they approve of me then? S***. I don't know. I'm so goddamn nervous, but I want to get this over with so badly. How could I impress them? I was a terrible person and I was socially awkward, so how on earth would I impress them? I could call them Mr. and Mrs. Parents like that, right? I could dress appropriate, check. I could be the total opposite of myself. Whatever, I'll just make it up as I go along, they would never know. My phone started ringing, it was Lalaunie. I answered it.
“Hey Lalaunie,” I said.
“Hey, you ready?” she asked.
“Almost, just rehearsing to make sure I don't make a total fool out of myself in front of your parents,” I said.
“Haha, don't. It's okay, they're cool, and they're in a good mood today,” she said.
“Thank god, that makes everything so much better,” I said.
“Yup. Nothing to worry about,” she said.
“Thank you so much. Um, I'll be there in a while, alright?” I said.
“Alright,” she said.
“Bye,” I said as I hung up.
I had my parents drive me right away, they dropped me off and I walked to the front door. Her house was nice, it was two stories high and was painted a peach color with white window seals. I rang the doorbell and Mr. Zangler
answered the door and I greeted him with a handshake and a hello. Mrs. Zangler rushed to the door along with Lalaunie and her little brother. They all told me to come in. All except Lalaunie's brother who didn't seem to really like me all that much. The table was set and everyone was dressed like they were at a 5 star restaurant.
“Do you guys always dress like this when someone comes over?” I whispered to Lalaunie.
“Not always, just when they feel like it's something special,” she said.
My presence was special to Lalaunie's family? I wished it was the same with Lalaunie. They sat me down at the table and brought in some food. Dammit. It was a dinner date. I didn't know if they would want me to talk at the table or not. What was I supposed to do? I could ask Lalaunie, but I wanted to make it seem like I had this all under control, which I evidently didn't. They served my dinner, it was pretty good. I was hoping they wouldn't make me talk until I was done eating. Nope.
“So where are you taking my little girl?” asked Mr. Zangler.
Was this a trick question?
“Oh, I'm taking her to see Arctic Monkeys,” I said.
“Trick question. She's been talking about it nonstop for the past few days,” he said.
“Oh, haha,” I said.
“She's real excited,” he said.
“Is she?” I asked while smiling at Lalaunie.
“Very,” he said. “How’d you get tickets? I've looked everywhere for them and I've found nothing.”
“On eBay,” I said.
“eBay?” he asked. “I knew I should've looked there!”
“Haha, next time,” I said.
“Do your parents know you guys are going, alone?” asked Mrs. Zangler.
“Oh, yes ma’am. I've talked to them about it,” I said.
“And they're okay with it?” she asked nearly having a heart attack. “Lalaunie’s dad had to convince me into letting her go.”
“They trust me very much,” I said.
“Yes Debbie, we need to trust Lalaunie and this young man,” said Mr. Zangler to Mrs. Zangler.
“I do trust her, but my little girl, going on a road trip to San Francisco with a boy!” said Mrs. Zangler.
“Mom!” said Lalaunie.
“I’m sorry Lalaunie, but you know I get worried about you,” said Mrs. Zangler.
“Yes mom, but you need to trust me like Jamie said,” said Lalaunie.
“Alright, I'm sorry,” said Mrs. Zangler.
We continued with our meals until everyone was done. We finished our conversation in their living room.
“So October 13th?” asked Mr. Zangler.
“Yes sir,” I said.
“San Francisco, right?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said.
“She's all yours,” he said.
“She is? That easily? I thought I would have to battle to the death for her,” I said.
“Haha, no. She's my little girl, but sometimes you need to leave them alone for a while to grow. You can't cage a flower, a caged flower won't grow,” he said. “It doesn't have the freedom to.”
“You're right,” I said.
“Yeah, I'm terrible with the phrasing of words, but I am great at being right,” he said. “Not as good as Lalaunie's mother though. Women are always right.”
“Right,” I said.
We finished out conversation and I got home. I felt like I just woke up the next day and it was the day of the concert. I woke up and put my hair back with some gel, I knew it would be hot at the concert, so I had to keep as cool as possible and I could not keep cool with that mane of mine. I put on a leather jacket and some sunglasses, some black skinny jeans and a white t-shirt. I put on some sunscreen and I was out the door. My father let me use his pickup truck. I left to Lalaunie's house and I had to wait in the living room because she was not completely ready yet. I waited for an hour or so until she came running down the stairs.
“Hey Jamie! You're already here?” she asked. “I didn't take too long, did I?”
“Not at all,” I said.
“Great,” she said as she walked towards me.
She looked beautiful. I think this was the first time she wore makeup, but she was great at applying it. She put on red lipstick and she did thing with her eyeliner, where it wings out. She looked phenomenal.
“Did you do that on purpose?” she asked.
“Do what?” I asked.
“You dressed how Arctic Monkeys dresses,” she said.
“Oh, I did? Oh, right. No it was just a coincidence,” I said.
“Okay Jamie. Whatever you say,” she said smiling. “If you did it to impress me, it’s working.”
“Right back at you,” I said.
“Aw, thanks,” she said, “So we going?”
“What? Oh, yeah. Right now?” I asked.
“Yes right now. If we don’t go now we’ll miss it,” she said.
“Alright, lets go,” I said, “Would you like to say goodbye to your parents first?”
“You make it seem like you’re going to take me forever,” she said.
“Maybe I am,” I said.
“Shutup, you would never,” she said as she laughed.
“Maybe I would,” I said as I looked at her with a serious look on my face.
“Whatever, I’ll be right back,” she said.
“Yeah you go do that,” I said as she went upstairs.
She took about 5 minutes before she came down stairs.
“They gave me this,” she said holding out $20.
“What for?” I asked.
“They told me they gave me it for food incase we get hungry,” she said.
“Oh, thanks,” I said.
“It wasn’t my idea, I’m broke,” she said.
“Haha, I have some money, just in case,” I said opening her front door to leave. “After you.”
She ran out the door and opened my car door and jumped in. I loved seeing her excited and she was pretty darn excited right now. This was the happiest I had seen her since I had met her. I walked to the car slowly and sat down, when I said down she asked if she could drive or if we could take turns.
"Of course we can take turns," I said.
"Really?" she asked.
"I mean, if you promise not to get us into a car crash," I said.
"I know how to drive, Jamie," she said.
"Do you?" I asked as I turned on the car.
She nodded at me. "I even have my drivers license."
"May I see it?" I asked.
"I look like roadkill in the picture," she said as she pulled out her license from her handbag.
"I bet you don't," I said as she handed me her license.
I looked at her license and laughed.
"I told you it wasn't a pretty picture," she said.
"No, no, it's great. It's just you have such as cheesy smile," I said.
"Wow. Whatever," she said.
"You look really nice though. You look nowhere near roadkill," I said. "I do though. Would seeing my picture make you feel any better?"
"So much better," she said.
I pulled out my license and handed it to her waiting for her reaction.
"Oh my goodness. That haircut though. What happened here?" she asked.
"My father thought it'd be a great idea for him to cut my hair for me," I said.
"Oh my gosh, that reminds me. This one time my mother thought it's be a fantastic idea for her to cut my into a bob cut," she said.
"What's so bad about a bob cut?" I asked.
"Nothing, but she thought I should get layers with the bob cut and my shortest layer was shorter than my bangs. For the longest time it looked like I had cut my hair into a bob and tried to make it into a bowl haircut but miserably failed at trying to do so," she said.
"That's terrible," I said.
"Tell me about it, I had made the worst impression on the first day of highschool," she said.
"You're kidding me," I said nearly dying of laughter.
"Not even a little. I kinda wish I was kidding you now that I think about how ugly that haircut was," she said. "How long's this drive?" she asked.
"About five to six hours. It kinda depends on how much traffic we have to face," I said.
"Oh. May I turn the radio on?" she asked.
"Yeah, go ahead," I said.
She turned on the radio and turned it off like 5 seconds later.
"Never mind. All that's on right now is that mainstream overplayed bullshit," she said.
"Right?" I said.
No one, but Lalaunie understood how much I hated mainstream music. Except the odd thing was that the music she listened to was sort of mainstream as well.
“I have some music on my phone you might like. May I?” she said.
“Oh, yeah. Of course you can,” I said.
She plugged her phone with the aux cord into the little insert thing. What’s that thing even called? Whatever, she plugged her phone into there and Arctic Monkeys started blasting. Her volume was at 100 and I didn’t even like this kind of music.
“Arctic Monkeys?” I asked.
“Yeah, I thought you liked them?” she asked.
“Oh, no. I mean yes, I do, but don’t you think we’re going to get tired of them? I mean we’re already going to their concert and now you’re blasting their music,” I said.
“I never get tired of them. As I said before, they’re my favorite band. They always have been my favorite band and probably always will be,” she said.
“Of course,” I said.
I couldn’t get out of this one. I didn’t want to make it seem too much like I wasn’t really into them because then she’d suspect something of me. Maybe I could give them a try. I mean I would have to listen to them eventually, so why not now?
“This one’s called ‘I Wanna Be Yours.’ It’s one of my favorites,” she said.
After a while I started humming along. It was weird, but in a good way. This song described exactly how I felt about Lalaunie. I wanted to be her’s, but I knew I never could. When the song was done I unplugged the aux cord from her phone, and I plugged it into mine. I felt like that song was for me, so I tried playing a song for her. She got sort of upset because I unplugged her phone and well, interrupted her music. I picked the song I thought she’d like the most out of my top 5 favorites. I pressed play. It was “Hearts a Mess” by Gotye.
“Hey! He sounds familiar. Is this the guy that sang that one song? ‘Somebody That I Used To Know’, right?” she asked.
Of course. Once again he was given no credit for his other amazing songs and he was referred to as “that guy”.
“Yeah. That’s him,” I said.
“Cool. He sings nice,” she said humming along to the song.
“He sure does,” I said.
A minute or so into the song I looked over at her, and she was asleep. I understood why. I liked falling asleep to it as well.
She slept for 2 hours or so until she finally woke up. When she did wake up she looked lost and still really tired. Her being tired made her cuter in a sense. She looked adorable when she was sleeping as well as she did now, and when she was fully awake. Anyway, she awoke from her slumber because well, let’s say I might have not passed my drivers test and I nearly ran over an elderly lady. I slammed on the breaks and that awoke her because she almost slammed her face into the window. She screamed at the sight of the little old lady ducking and shivering in front of my car. After 5 minutes of watching the old lady suffer we got out of the car and asked her if she was okay. I know I am terrible for this, but I couldn’t help but laugh. I apologized and we got back in the car. Once we got back in the car she suggested that she should drive. I allowed her to drive, since I agreed to taking turns and I was sure she was a much better driver than myself. I mean, who wasn’t a better driver than me? I got out of the car once more and went around to the other side, while she jumped across the seat onto the other seat. She turned the ignition and drove away once I jumped in the car.
San Francisco was pretty far away considering we had only been driving for 3 hours. We stopped by at a few places here and there to allow Lalaunie go to the bathroom. Let me tell you, she has the smallest bladder in the world. If you gave her an x-ray I bet it would be smaller than a peanut. Well, this was the longest time I had been with Lalaunie alone. It made me realize how simply beautiful she was. She had the lightest hair and the most pale skin and the most beautiful big brown eyes. She wasn’t perfect, she was missing something. She was missing me. We would be perfect together. Well, we would almost be perfect together, besides you know, the fact that she’s iconic and I’m a total dork. Every guy would drool over her, and well, every girl would puke when they saw me. I asked this girl named Amber to prom, and let me tell you, she smelled bad. She smelled like, really bad. I asked her and she totally rejected me. The girl that smelled like onions rejected me.That’s how terribly bad my reputation was, and if Lalaunie found out about how bad my reputation really is, she’d never go out with me.
    * * *
I still don’t understand why Jamie brought me here. I mean he's a pretty nice guy, but a guy doesn't just bring you somewhere just because. I really like him, but I hope he doesn't expect anything to happen between us right now. It would be cute if something did happen, but I don't want something to happen between us at the same time. I don't want to ruin the friendship that we have; I also don't want to ruin the friendship he and Denise have. I see the way Jamie looks at me, but I'm also see Denise looking at me like that. The thing is I barely even know Denise, but I know everything about Jamie. I know Jamie like I've lived with him my whole life and he's really charming and sweet and sure he has his days where he can be a total drag, but I like him.
"Hey, Jamie?" I asked.
"Yeah Lalaunie?" he responded.
"Why did you bring me here?" I asked.
"Well, I know you like them and I thought It'd be fun to spend time with you," he said.
"Oh, alright. Thanks again," I said.
He's such a liar. Everyone would know he didn't just bring me here to spend time together. Wait, maybe he did. Maybe I'm just overthinking all of this. Maybe he doesn't have feelings for me the way I have feelings for him. I guess I could give a shot at Denise.
"Okay, we're here," he said.
"Oh. Great," I said.
"You still have your ticket, right?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Let's go then," he said.
"Give me a minute," I said.
   
Hey Denise. Meet me tomorrow night
@ the back alley.

“Alright. Coming!” I said.
"What'd you need?" he asked.
"Nothing," I said.
"Great, you ready now?" he asked.
"Yeah. Let's go," I said.
We eventually got in the concert in our seats. It was magical seeing Arctic Monkeys on stage. They were live and right in front of me. They all looked so dreamy. When they were singing they even winked at me. Maybe if it didn't work with me and Jamie or Denise I could give them a go. I'm totally kidding. Everyone knows that would never happen. In the middle of a song Jamie got up and went somewhere. I'm not sure where he went, but he took a while to come back. He had said he went to the bathroom, but I could tell he was lying because a little after the middle of the show the band stopped singing. They got out a little piece of paper from their pockets and started reading it. It said "Hey Lalaunie. I know I told you I only brought you here so we could spend time together and I wasn't lying about that, but that was not the only reason I brought you here. I also brought you here because I wanted to ask you a question. Will you go to the dance with me? I know this is sudden because we barely met at the beginning of the year, but I really like you. Your options are yes and yes by the way." What was I going to say? I did barely know him and I just texted his friend before the show.
"Come up here, Lalaunie," said Alex Turner.
I ran through the crowd and up the stairs up on stage. I was basically crying. Alex Turner handed me the microphone and I took it.
"Yes!" I screamed.
Everyone started cheering, I wasn't sure why, but they did. I started to tear up even more as I ran off the stage. I ran up to him and I hugged him. I totally regretted texting Denise that. I would have to take it back somehow. Maybe I could say I didn't mean to send that to him or something. I would have to make something up before he told Jamie about it.
"Jamie!" I yelled at the top of my lungs hoping he would hear me.
"Yeah?!" he yelled back.
"I'll be right back!" I said.
"Isn't this your favorite song?! You can't leave now!" he said.
"I really need to pee!" I said as I ran off.
I quickly ran to the bathroom and pulled out my phone, I nearly dropped it in a puddle of water. I didn't, but I struggled to pull it out of my pocket. I quickly went to my inbox and I told him I couldn't do it. I think he got sort of mad because he said something like along the lines of "Don't talk to me anymore." I don't quite recall what he said exactly because I really did need to go to the restroom and if I took long he'd think I was pooping, or the line outside would think I was pooping. So I hurried out and I ran back to the concert trying to wipe my hands on my dress as well as I could, but then I realized there were wet hand prints on my dress. I had finally came back and I was surprised Jamie hadn't noticed them because he seemed to notice a lot of other things about me. I must have took pretty long at the bathroom because when I came back they were almost done with the show. They were saying their goodbyes. I was sad the show was over, but I was happy I got to spend more time with Jamie than I usually would.
* * *
Why is Lalaunie acting so weird? She never acts like this unless something's up. I could ask her what's up, but then she might take it the wrong way and then the hormones will really start acting up. I should just leave her for now, or at least until we're in the car where no one can hear us.
The concert was over before I knew it and I was pretty thankful. Even though they were good singers and songwriters, they weren't really the type of genre I liked. We quickly walked to the car keeping in mind it was 12 at night and this was the time Lalaunie's parents expected her to be home. The drive was literally 6 hours long and she was expected to be home at 12 at night when it was literally 12 at night right now and we were still in the parking lot. She suggested I drive because she was tired and had a lot on her mind. What could she possibly have on her mind this late after a really loud concert? I shrugged it off knowing I couldn't talk to her about it, since she was already fast asleep. I was falling asleep too, but I tried my best not to. I couldn't just fall asleep and let us both get into a car crash. I drives as fast as I could. I think I might have been speeding a bit just to get home one hour earlier at the least. It worked out in my favor because we got to her house in 4 hours and 30 minutes rather than 6 hours. But before we got home we had stopped at Carl's Jr. because I knew that was her favorite fast food restaurant. She ordered what she told me she always ordered when she went there. She ordered chili cheese fries and a small soda. I ordered the same thing, since I knew nothing about fast food restaurants at all. She told me it would be magical eating the chili cheese fries from there and I have to admit, they were pretty good, but I had terrible diarrhea for 2 days straight. I agreed I would never eat them again. Well, now that I'm home I better go to sleep.
* * *
"Lalaunie!" yelled my dad as I tried to run up the stairs hoping I wouldn't run into him.
"Yes dad?" I said slowly walking back down the stairs.
"Come down here, I want to talk to you about that boy you're with," he said.
"We aren't together," I said as I walked towards him and sat on the couch next to him.
"Well you guys should be. He seems like a really good guy and not every guy would do something like that for just any girl," he said.
"You did something along those lines for mom," I said.
"Because I loved her sweetie. I could have spent the money I spent on the tickets for the Elvis concert on a night with a really expensive prostitute or something, but I didn't. I thought of your mother and how happy it would make her," he said.
"You really think he loves me dad?" I said.
"Well, no. I wouldn't say he loves you, but I can guarantee you that he has strong feelings for you," he said.
"Thanks dad, but I screwed up," I said.
"How'd you screw up?" he asked.
"Never mind dad. I don't really want to talk about that. I just got the best date to the prom and you, my good sir, need sleep," I said.
"Yes. I guess you're right," he said.
"I am. Now hurry before it gets even later," I said.
"I'm going, I'm going," he said as he walked up the stairs grasping the railing in one hand and his cane in the other.
"Night dad," I said as I turned off the light in the living room and scurried off to my bedroom.
 

* * *
So today is our big day, the day of the dance. I had my outfit planned for weeks. I'm totally just kidding. I had my outfit planned since yesterday night. I was excited about this very dance since they announced it at school and I was excited about going with Lalaunie since she said yes. I kind of dreaded it because I knew Denise also liked Lalaunie and I may have taken her away from him. He's my best friend though. He'd forgive me.
* * *
January 23, 2007
Entry number one
So entry number one in this stupid notebook I guess. My therapist gave me this stupid notebook- diary thing to write my feelings in. Anyway, I'm never forgiving Jamie. He took my date. Who am I supposed to go with now? Oh, that's right, no one. I'm not going at all. How could Lalaunie be stupid enough to go with him? She's so stupid for that. Why in the world would she go with a guy like him when she could go with a guy like me? So stupid. I would have to get her to not go with him. How in the world would I do that? She was crazy over him, I don’t know why she was, but she certainly was. I would offer her a date with me, the cutest guy in school. She would have to take the offer, but in case she didn’t, I would have to resort to plan b.
     * * *
I had this outfit planned since Jamie asked me to the dance. I never thought he’d ask, Honestly, he didn’t quite seem like the type of guy who would do something of that nature. He was a very timid guy. I had a feeling Paul made him ask me. Whatever, I was just happy I was going with him. I started doing my hair, and just as soon as I had started my phone rang. I almost burned myself from fright. I ran to my room to check who I had gotten a message from and it was Denise. 

The text read:
Meet me at my house. I have a surprise for you.
I replied with:
  I’d rather not. Today’s the dance, remember? Aren’t you going too?
He didn’t respond to my message after that, but I was aware that he had read my message because it said: 
     Read 12:07
I shrugged it off; I walked back to my room and proceeded to do my hair. I was curling my naturally straight boring hair and for once I liked how it looked. This time was different than other times. It looked somehow, better. I would have to put my dress on next. Worse mistake I have ever made. I knew I should have put my dress on first; I was going to mess my hair up. I would have to take a risk. When I had finally gotten the dress on, the first thing I checked was my hair. My hair was still perfectly in place. It was seriously a miracle. I mean, I know it's just a dance, but it's a dance with Jamie. I get to have Jamie as my date and I get to dance with him all night. This was possibly the only time he would ever invite me to a dance after he saw how terrible I dance with my two left feet, so I should take advantage of it. I guess my two left feet would be the test of whether he actually liked me or not. I hoped he liked me at least half as much as I liked him. That would be a dream come true.
Once I had finished getting ready I went outside to wait for Jamie to come by and pick me up. Someone in a car pulled up and it wasn’t Jamie because I knew how his car looked and that was not it. The car got closer and closer. Once it got so close I was able to see the person in the car. It was Denise. I ran up to the car, barely. My heels would only let me run so fast.
“Denise?” I said as I looked at him even closer than before, just to make sure it was really him.
“Shut up. Why are you all dressed up?” he asked.
“I told you already,” I said, “I’m going to the dance with Jamie.”
“No you’re not,” he said.
“Yes I am,” I said.
“Go and watch what happens to Jamie,” he said as he quickly drove off.
I quickly ran up stairs and locked myself in the bathroom. I started crying really bad. I was afraid of what Denise was capable of. I knew he needed therapy, but now I knew he really did need it, badly. I didn’t want anything to happen to Jamie and I felt really bad for him. He arrived at my house about 10 minutes after Denise had left and he got out of his car and rang the door about 13 times. He waited 5 minutes in the middle of rings and I just sat there listening for an hour straight until I wiped my tears and answered. I had thought of a loophole. Denise said I couldn’t go to the dance with Jamie. He never said we couldn’t stay at my house.
“Come in Jamie,” I said sniffling.
“Why? We’re already more than an hour late to the dance,” he said.
“Tom came around… I don’t think I can. Cramps,” I said.
“Oh, I understand,” he said as he came in and sat on the couch, “So what now?”
“We can watch a movie,” I said.
“Yeah. Sure,” he said.
“What movie do you wanna watch?” I asked.
“Whatever you want to watch,” he said as I turned the TV on.
     * * *
That same night we became a thing. After that we were on and off for months. The main reason for our breakups was Denise. He sure knew how to manipulate people. Well tomorrow was prom. Guess what? Lalaunie and I decided to give it another go. We would go to prom together and our colors would be burgundy and black. Dark colors complimented her skin tone and she looked amazing in everything, but we had to choose something. I think the dress looked quite beautiful, but I could not say the same thing for me. I looked like dracula. Whatever, as long as she liked how I looked. I got my tux on and I had my mother do my hair. Yes, my mother, the birth giver, the womb. I still had my mother do my hair for special occasions like this because she was a good hairstylist. I got all groomed up and I was headed out towards Lalaunie’s house. Hopefully this time Denise wouldn’t ruin it for us. He wouldn’t or at least I would hope not, since he’s already with Amber. I got to Lalaunie’s house in an hour or so considering she wanted to go walking. She said she liked the view. We walked about 30 minutes to school after Lalaunie’s father finished taking his 200th photo of us. We hurried out as soon as we could so we could make it on time or fashionably late at the least. We walked as slow as possible, only because Lalaunie loved the path we were taking and she liked to point out everything, from a bird in the sky to an ant on the sidewalk. I tried walking faster, but she noticed and pulled me back. We started playing a good game of truth or dare. She said dare and I dared her to kiss me. She did, surprisingly. But me being the wimp I was, chose truth.
"Okay. Do you love me?" she asked.
"Of course I love you. I thought it was obvious," I said.
"Obvious? No. I was awfully confused," she said.
"Oh, I thought you knew. Sorry for not making the signs a bit clearer," I said.
"It's fine. Next time, alright?" she said as she smiled.
"Even though you probably wouldn't have picked truth, I'll ask you anyway. Do you love me?" I asked.
"It's obvious, Jamie. What girl wouldn't love you? You're adorable, you have the most dreamy eyes and the most dreamy personality, and don't forget you're the most timid boy I've ever met," she said.
"I'm not timid. We wouldn't be on this date right now if I was timid," I said.
"What ever you say Jamie," she said.
We eventually got to where the prom was and when we came in everyone started at us and it went silent. We walked in and acted normal, but still everyone started at us, until Denise and Amber said hi to us of course. Everyone followed behind them and I eventually heard Lalaunie say "followers"under her breath. After everything got a little bit less awkward Lalaunie and I got out on the dance floor and started dancing. The first slow song we ever danced to was "Turning Page" by: Sleeping At Last and it was so perfect, even if she was stepping on my feet every five seconds. We danced quite a lot of songs before we had to stop so they could announce prom king and queen. Lalaunie said she had always wanted to win Prom Queen, but never really actually wanted to run. She didn't run alone, we ran together just without her permission. My heart was pounding and once they pronounced the first letter I yelled with happiness and Lalaunie just stood there in shock.

"Jamie Martinez and Lalaunie Zangler! You guys just won prom king and queen of 2007!" said Mrs. Patty.
I heard Lalaunie laugh nervously as I pulled her up on the stage with me.
When they put the crown on her head she squealed and almost cried. I squealed when they put the crown on me too, honestly. This was the first time I had won something in real life, instead of a video game. When we both sat in the thrones we only heard one really slow clap from the crowd and it quickly faded out. We got told to dance together and surprisingly they played an Arctic Monkeys song. How did they know Lalaunie liked Arctic Monkeys? I guess it was just a coincidence. They were becoming pretty mainstream too. We danced and danced. I could just feel the dirty looks all around me and I quickly let go. I couldn't take all this silent hate. I ran into the crowd and outside. I felt bad for Lalaunie, but she would figure something out.
"Why'd you run out?" she asked as she tapped me on the shoulder.
"I had to. You felt the way they were making fun of us," I said.
"Well yes, but they don't matter, really," she said.
"I guess so," I said.
"Come on, let's celebrate with some punch. You haven't had any all night and that's the best part of prom. The corny punch that tastes like toilet water," she said.
"You're right. Let me have some of that toilet water," I said as I stood up.
We walked back in and everything was back to normal. Loud noise, blasting stereos, girls arguing, guys fighting. All back to normal. Lalaunie and I squeezed through all the way to the punch bowl saying "excuse me" to possibly every human being in that joint. We eventually got through and we both got a cup or two maybe five of fruit punch and we kept coming back for more. I think the sugar in that punch made you want to come back for more. After a while I felt it, the feel I had never ever felt, I was drunk. I could feel the puke rushing up my throat and I was hoping I wouldn't puke on Lalaunie's beautiful dress and her face. I tried to hold it back, but eventually had to let it out. I went to a nearby trash can and I puked my insides out. A little while after that had happened we heard a voice on the microphone and we thought maybe it was just a scam or something but then we started smelling something burning. It was coming from the next room. It was on fire and we had drank all the beverages. We had no water. We tried running out as fast as we could but the fire was traveling faster than us. We all jumped into any random car, bicycle, limousine, motorcycle or bus we could find. We all drove off and I took Denise's car coincidentally. Good thing he had taught me how to drive the thing. Everyone was driving really wildly, everyone besides me because I still had no licenses and I could get caught a lot easier than everyone else could. I kept trying to stop the car, but it wouldn't stop. I knew how to stop it though. Denise taught me how to park his car and everything. He had to teach me how to pull the brakes. Sooner or later I noticed the brakes were already pulled, pulled out. Did he do this on purpose? He couldn't have done it on purpose. He could never do this on purpose, but this was life or death. One wrong swerve and I could die. I had to think quick. I couldn't jump out. The car was going 75 miles per hour and there was no stopping it. I kept swerving and swerving trying not to swerve into anyone, and I succeeded. I didn't kill anyone. I hope Lalaunie's safe.
* * *
It's been 3 days since they haven't found Jamie. Maybe he swerved off the road and got too hurt to go on. Maybe someone in a log cabin's taking care of him in the meantime. I hope he's okay. Wait, I think I hear my phone ringing. I better go get it. It's Jamie!
"Jamie! Oh my goodness I was so worried about you! Are you okay? Are you hurt? Tell me you're okay!" I said.
"Lalaunie, I'm so sorry," said what sounded like Jamie's mother crying.
"What? What do you mean? Is he paralyzed? Hurt? What happened? Tell me he's okay. You know where he's at, right?" I said impatiently.
"Lalaunie, I am so sorry. I know exactly where he's at," she said.
"No. No Mrs. Martinez. I'm sorry, but you are lying to me. He's fine, he's just a little hurt from the fall," I said.
"Stop being in denial already Lalaunie! He's dead. He's gone. My little boy isn't coming back," she said almost not breathing.
My heart stopped; I couldn't speak.
"I have to go Mrs.Martinez. Thank you," I said.
I didn't feel anything after that. I couldn't eat; I couldn't sleep. I wasn't every happy. Nothing could make me smile anymore. I thought being in his room would bring me joy and his scent would bring me comfort, but all it brought be was more pain and memories of how much it still hurt and how much I still loved him. I was in love with a dead man.
I attended his funeral that Sunday and everyone was crying, but me. People ask me why I never cried. I never cried because I wasn't really there anymore. When Jamie died he took me with him. I was not a soul anymore, just an emotionless body. They guy I loved the most, my first loved died because of me. I made him drink those cups of punch. I forced this upon him and it's all my fault.
* * *
May 16, 2007
Entry number 13
Bam. Hahaha, Sad how quick people go isn't it? Sad how much trust a person could put into someone to just have it go to waste. Jamie will be missed by many, but certainly not by me. You're the reason I'm still writing in this stupid journal. I also found your book and they haven't found the evidence, looks like I won't be in this crazy house for much longer. No one died in my fire, but someone died in your car crash. Too bad no one cares enough about you to investigate that any further. Well, goodbye Jamie. If I couldn't have her neither will you, ever again.
Love,
the best friend that would never hurt you, Denise.