I'm stuck :( That is the main reason why I don't have more chapters up. I know where I want to go, but I am having trouble getting there. But I'm working on it. It's hard also because I have too little time and too many things I'm working on.

I have a new fantasy novel up called The Eldonian Legends. There are four chapters posted, only because I've had them written for a while. Anyway, it just went up, and has probably one view, so I would love it if you checked that out and let me know what you think! It's kind of weird...and takes place in the distant future...but eh, I like it :) Thanks!!

When are ypu posting more chapters? I can't wait!

I have a new realistic fiction book up called It Was True Love (and it's verrry short, actually just a short story) if you want to check it out :)

Please upload more chapters soon!!!

Nice, I completely agree with you! ;D

Oh, and which section is The Foundation in?

Thank you so much! :D I'm glad it's interesting to you. This was relatively new when I posted it, and I am almost done with the first draft of the second chapter. Hopefully editing won't take too long!

Thank you for noticing, why yes they are...in a way. :) This will be better introduced in the chapters to come. That certainly is ironic; I'd love to check it out!

Just one question...how delicious are rainbow waffles, and what makes them the color of the rainbow? ;) wink wink

I love this story so far! I really liked the opening paragraph, and I think the third person to first person transition is great! I didn't really find any grammatical or punctuational errors... And I love your writing style, it never gets dull. I can't wait to read more!

So, are Noella, Roxana, and Camille in a band? I have a novel up about a band of teenaged girls as well, ironically. :) It's called The Formation if you wanna check it out and lend me some advice.

Thanks for the criticism, it was very constructive! I completely agree with everything, now that I think about it.

I definitely need to work on that habit.

You don't need to apologize. I seriously am happy with anything you have to say, even if someone says it's awful, because that will just motivate me to do better. I really appreciate your efforts to help my story, and I'll start editing as soon as I can. I began this pretty recently and haven't had much time to edit a lot, but I'll try to put your suggestions to use, along with finishing the second chapter. Thanks again! You rock:)

I know how much every comment will mean to you on this book, so I'll do my very best to critique. Please don't take any of the criticism personally, though! 

Your first sentence isn't quite intriguing. Instead of directly mentioning the city/town 'Birchall, Connecticut' I think it will flow better if you manage to pop it in discreetly elsewhere. 'She was sitting alone in the cafeteria, sketching with a lump of charcoal.' Don't put too much description on unimportant details, like the table. 'She was dressed nice - tall grey Uggs over black leggings....' might work better. 

Ooh, I like that second paragraph a lot. I totally wasn't expecting it - which is good. 

Alright - so make sure you 'show' the reader, instead of telling. I know, I have that habit sometimes too, but direct telling about characters' actions gets boring for the reader. 'Sighing, I fingered the worn cover open again to scrutinize that grand piano I'd just drawn.' 

Sorry if I'm picking out the slightest details. (I'm writing this a long as I go) You don't always have to put a 'she said / asked / teased' at the end of every quotation. Simply put in the action. 'Roxana blinked. 'Wow, haven't heard that nickname in a while!' She tossed the cherry pit back into her Ziploc.

I read the rest of the story. I love the plot so far, and I really believe you have talent. This is one of the few novels I've reviewed on Teen Ink that has proper punctation/grammar (I don't think I caught a spelling mistake at all!) and amazing description. I love this. Tell me when you submit more, and I'll be more than glad to continue reading!