“Faith?”

Faith didn't want to admit her absolute hopelessness to her brother. Without them, she just didn't know what to do.

“Faith?” He repeated. He was probably standing right over her, waiting for her to roll over and say, “Good morning, Will! How are you this fine day?” with an outrageous smile. But that wasn't reality this morning. This morning, she was grieving.

He sat down on the edge of her bed and put a hand on her shoulder. “Come on, sis, I know that this is hard, but we still have to live. You can't just lay up here and rot.”

“Yes, I can. And will.”

She heard Will heave an enormous sigh before standing again. He stood still for a minute. She hoped that he would do the smart thing and leave. But he did what he thought was right and lifted her out of bed and carried her downstairs.

“Will!” She protested to no avail. “Will, seriously, this is uncalled for!”

He dropped her onto the sofa and she glared at him a stare so cold it could have frozen over hell.

“Why are you doing this to yourself, Faith?” he asked. “You haven't eaten since they died. You haven't bathed, either. Or come out of your room. You haven't touched your sketchbooks or easel. We all thought that you had committed suicide up there! If you had, we wouldn't have known until the smell got to us! Why must you be so introverted, Faith?”

She didn't respond.

“Doc said that the best thing to do would be to just go back to our regular schedules. He said that what you're doing is the natural thing, but that is worse in the long run. You are destroying your body, Faith!”

“The doctor is wrong! I have to mourn!”

“You have! For three weeks! Enough is enough, Faith!”

“Three weeks isn't long enough for both of them, Will.”

“I'm not saying not to be sad, Faith. You can be. You can mourn all you want. You just have to eat and sleep and breathe while doing so.”

She just stared at him for another moment before standing.

“Do not tell me how to mourn my parents' deaths.”

Then, she walked back up the stairs and locked the door. She sank down to the ground and cried out everything she had inside of her until she was a blank canvas, never to be painted.


“C'mon, baby girl, ya cain't sleep forever.”

Sleep? She had fallen asleep? What?

“Tha's it, doll, c'mon. Upsy-daisy.”

The Rev's voice was smooth, making her eyes open up. The haze had cleared instantly. No one was dancing anymore. It was still. The music was gone. No echo, no nothing. Just silence.

Twitch got Faith to sit up and the room spun significantly. Faith grabbed his shoulder tightly as Roxelle appeared at her side.

“Ya okay, baby?”

Faith swallowed. Her head ached horribly. Everything seemed lopsided. She felt like she was going to throw up.

“Baby doll...?”

Instead, she began to cry. She grabbed the Rev's fur collar and cried. She had no idea why, but she did and it felt good. In the back of her mind, she thought that Twitch might be offended by this or something, but he surprised her yet again by putting a hand on her back and hugging her.

“Don' ya worry, baby, it's awl right. Nothin's gonna happen ta ya while I'm around, okay? I swear it.”

This only made Faith cry harder. She was sure everyone was staring, but she didn't care. She didn't want to bottle these things up anymore. It was so difficult, so tiring. And she was sick of it.

“Help me, Reverend...”

He didn't say anything. He did, however, rest his chin on Faith's head.

“Reverend Strychnine Twitch, I want you to save me.”

He put his hand gently over her mouth.

“Shh, baby girl... these ain't the things I do... I'm not a real preacher...”

She moved his hand aside. “I'm not a real believer. So save me.”

After no movement or answer from the Rev, and a still, hushed crowd, Faith shook her head, her chin trembling.

“Save me, save me, save me... please...” The tears fell faster, in bigger groups. Faith was losing it. She was about to let out all the stops as the Reverend Strychnine Twitch raised his hand to rest on her forehead. He closed his eyes and mumbled to himself.

Will tried several times to revert Faith back into her old self. But Faith would have none of it. The more he forced her, the more she resisted. It was natural for her to do so. Will just didn't understand the process for her. Her whole life had shattered, and he didn't even know how to handle it.

He opened his bright green eyes and looked at Faith.

“Stop tryin' ta fit in where yas s'posed ta stand out, baby doll.”

She nodded. He leaned down and whispered in her ear.

“I may not be able ta fix nothin', but I sure as hell below can save ya.”

Faith smiled and the Rev stood and helped her up. A great roar from the crowd erupted and the Rev took the mic back.

“Now, now, y'all're gettin' awl worked up o'er nothin'. Faith has jus' been saved as one of us, tha's awl.” Another loud hoot came from the crowd. “We's got one more little baby ta raise... tha's awl.” Roxelle hugged Faith.

“Welcome to the group, Faith.”

“But she's needin' to be reborn.” The Rev turned, smiling widely, to Faith. “Whaddaya say, everyone, should we be gettin' Ms. Faith here a new name?”

A large “Yes!” flared from the crowd and their breath hit Faith like a wall. It was amazing.

“Well, Faith, ya hear 'em, don' ya? What's yer new name?”

Silence. All sound shut off immediately. Faith panicked.

“Rogue.”

“Rogue?” The word sounded breathtaking on the Reverend's lips. He nodded. “Rogue.” He turned to face the crowd. “Rogue, everybody!”

Cheers from the crowd. The Rev took two steps back and gestured to the thick crowd. Faith, or rather, Rogue, had no idea what he was implying.

“Well, Rogue? Ya gonna take the plunge?”

Rogue's eyes widened. He wanted her to do a stage dive? She swallowed and looked questioningly at him. The Rev came up and took her hand.

“We'll do it toge'er, awl right?”

Rogue smiled. She squeezed his hand and they dove together into her new life in this strange, heavy, amazing place.


It was well after two in the morning when Faith, accompanied by Roxelle and the Rev himself, stepped out of the club. Only now did she see the flickering neon sign that read in red “Ruby Room”. The rain had subsided and left a chill to hover in the air. The Rev's cheeks were flushed and his sunglasses fogged up. For whatever reason, this made Faith smile. Roxelle shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.

“Mary,” Twitch said, “ya cold, darlin'?”

Faith was confused for moment, but then realized that Roxelle's name wasn't really Roxelle. She had been reborn here at the Ruby Room like Faith just had.

Rev shrugged off his fur-collared jacket and placed it gently on Roxelle's, or Mary's, rather, shoulders. She smiled and wrapped it close around her. They began to walk in the general direction of the Amboy Plaza.

“So...” the Rev began. “Rogue, eh?”

Faith laughed. “It was the first thing that popped into my head. I don't know...”

“When I heard it, I thought tha' it was some sort of big ole metaphor for ya running out tonight and findin' us. This cain't be exactly what yer brother wants for ya, can it?”

Faith sighed and shrugged. “I don't think he knows what he wants from me. Hell, I don't think I even know.”

The Rev shrugged. “Sometimes, doll, it's okay not to know.”

Faith looked up at the Rev. His sunglasses were now in his pocket and he looked worn. Tired. Down. But, he still tried to smile and pretend that he was absolutely fine for Faith and Mary's sake, if not his own.

“Amboy Plaza, eh?” He said, trying to make small talk to fill the deafening silence ringing throughout the street.

“Yeah. My brother, Will, got a job pretty high up on the business scale, so they give him and me a room right across from each other. It's nice, sometimes, but most of the time it's just annoying because he's got a room key for my room too. Of course, I don't have one for his – and why would I? But it just makes me angry that he can intrude on me whenever it strikes his fancy, but I can't get to him if I need to.”

The Reverend smiled. “Baby girl, I'm a'willin' to bet that yer brother means no harm when he's checkin' up on ya.”

“Well, no, I know that. But it's just kind of hypocritical of him, I think. He calls me 'ailing' because I can't sleep. I swear, I'm not that bad. I just can't sleep. It's not like I'm sick or anything.”

“Baby doll, I dunno exactly what's goin' on in that fabulous mind of yers, but I don't think yer sick, per se. I think yer just... well, a course, I dunno ya and yer life, but I think if ya look around up there–” he tapped her forehead, and continued, “–then I think ya would know better than I could.”

Faith nodded and bowed her head slightly and jammed her fists into her pockets. This was probably not something that Rogue would do, but it was something that Faith would do. It seemed that when you left the mysterious world of the Ruby Room, you were back to your mundane, uninteresting life as it was before you were reborn. If you ever left at all. The Ruby Room was open from five in the evening to seven in the morning everyday, but you could crash there if you wanted to. It wasn't a chain, and it was run by past party-goers themselves. They understood.

It was silence for a while, the awkward kind where you know that you should talk, but you can't find the right words to fill up such a large gap in the system. But it was also the sort of silence that felt right. It was the kind of silence that added something to the moment.

“Ya think yer brother'll notice ya were gone?” Twitch said, breaking the silence.

Faith shrugged. “I really don't know. If he woke up and went across the hall, then yeah, he'll notice. But otherwise, I don't think so. Especially if his girlfriend is over. She comes to spend time with him every so often.”

Twitch nodded considerately. They approached the tall building and the Rev's pace slowed. He came to a standstill ten yards from the door.

“Good luck with yer brother, baby girl. And, remember, ya can come back to Ruby anytime ya want. Just go right on in and ask fer me. Any time ya need me, I'm here for ya.”

Faith couldn't help but smile. “Thanks, Rev.” She hugged him, then Mary, and waved as she walked into the lobby of the hotel again.

When she opened the door, all the excitement of the night was replaced by a dread of what would come next. Would Will know that she had escaped in the middle of the night?

No one was in the lobby but the manager behind the front desk and a nightwatchman slumped over in a chair. They didn't even look up at Faith as she made her way to the elevators. To the ninth floor. The buttons were cold and the numbers were worn from years of pushing and pushing and pushing.

The elevator arrived on her floor with a small, tiny, almost unnoticeable ding and Faith walked right out, leaving that claustrophobic box as quickly as she could.

The hallway seemed unrealistically long and narrow, like the hotel had lost weight in her absence. She practically sprinted to her room. Things were getting strange now.

The room key didn't want to fit into its reader. She tried at least seven times, but it kept moving around. She couldn't get it in and out in the correct way. Then, miraculously, it worked and a little green light appeared over the card reader. The door opened and Faith was inside her room once again.

As soon as the door was closed, she wanted out.

It was a prison cell, not a hotel room.

She tried to ignore the feeling of being trapped. She peeled off her jacket and kicked off her shoes and walked her way over to her bed. Tonight, maybe things would be different. Maybe the Reverend had spurred some sort of emotion inside her that would let her sleep. It would chase down her demons and eliminate them and then she could rest, finally. Or, maybe the Rev hadn't changed anything at all, just distracted her from the problem at hand.

She climbed into bed and snuggled into the clean sheets. They seemed... different tonight, somehow. Like they wanted her there with them. It was a strange, new sensation. The bottoms of her pants were wet, but she was too far off to care and, in truth, she probably wouldn't have changed them anyway.

It was three forty-two in the morning. Faith slept until eleven fifty-six the next morning.


Faith awoke with a start. It was almost noon.

Impossible, she thought. But it had happened.

She had slept for eight hours.

That was the normal sleeping time for average people.

And Faith had gone from none to eight in one night.

And she was ecstatic.

She jumped out of bed and jumped up and down for the joy of a good night's sleep. The sun was shining fully on her window. She went over and basked in it's yellow radiance, and it seemed to smile brighter just for her.

Will was already gone. He knew nothing of her adventure last night. He didn't suspect a thing. Almost everything was perfect.

The world was just about perfect this afternoon, she thought.

Nearly perfect.

She had to get the Rev.

But, she wasn't in the best condition to do so, considering she smelled like a sewer. So, she showered, changed her clothes, and even pulled her hair back in a braid. She put her dirty clothes in the hamper. If Will got a spare minute, he'd take care of that. If he didn't, she would have to.

And then, she was gone again.


The Ruby Room's sign wasn't so neon in the sunlight. In fact, she wasn't even sure it was on. Actually, she was sure it wasn't on. But it was there just the same and telling her that she was home.

She went through the back way to find the door, just beside a Dumpster. She hadn't noticed last night, probably because of the darkness, but it smelled like no other today. She hastily entered to find a less-than-fresh Ruby Room.

There were only a handful of people in there, and they were all cleaning. None of them appeared to be the Rev. Faith was shocked at how dirty the place was. The floor was covered from corner to corner in dirt and mud and the table were grimy. The bar, from where she was standing, seemed to have a skin over it, made of some sort of residue from the drinks.


As Faith scanned the new face of the Ruby Room, a girl who looked to be no more than twenty came over to her. With a bored expression and monotone to her voice, she spoke to Faith.

“The Ruby Room is open from seven to five. Please come back then.”

“I'm here for the Reverend Strychnine Twitch.”

She nodded, still bored. She led Faith to a door that blended into the wall. Faith could barely distinguish it from the wall itself, so in the dark of business hours, it must be practically invisible. She took a key from her pocket and unlocked it. I swung open to reveal a staircase.

“He's up there, but he might not be awake. If he's not, you can wake him up if you need to. Sound good?”

Faith nodded and thanked the girl. As she headed up the stairs, the girl closed the door behind her and it made a loud noise that echoed up into wherever she was heading.



The Reverend's room shouldn't have surprised her as much as it did. It was exactly what she thought it would look like. Posters of old bands on the wall of the small room, a scruffy couch and a ratty chair, a coffee table covered in papers and magazines and bottles. There were three doorways, one on each side of the room and one to the left of the couch, but none of them had actual doors on them. They were all covered up by dark curtains.

Faith crept up to the first door and peered in. Small, dirty bathroom. She was out again.

She approached the one behind the couch and found a dirty, small, retro-style kitchen. No Rev in sight. Therefore, he must be in the third room.

Why was Faith so nervous? It was the Rev, who had saved her last night. What was it about him that made her heart and head say, “Yikes”? There was nothing wrong with him. She was just in his apartment, and it made it slightly awkward.

She, as quietly as she could, pulled back the curtain enough to see through it.

The Rev was dead asleep in his bed. She wanted to laugh so badly.

His feet were hanging off the end.

She stifled her giggle and looked closer.

There were bottles everywhere, even in his hand as he slept. The posters from the first room continued in here. She could see a few for someone called The Misfits, Pinhead Gunpowder, and Nirvana, who she knew of. The rest were hard to make out because the black curtains on the only window were closed tightly. She thought that this was a good way to get the Rev awake.

She crept over to the other side of the room, the floorboards not helping her and creaking as she took a step. But the Reverend didn't stir. She grabbed both of the curtains tightly and wrenched them open.

The Rev blinked and dropped his bottle, which rolled under the bed, where it clanked when it met with others of its own kind. A little black dog that she hadn't seen before leaped from the bed and scurried out of the room. The Rev rested himself on his elbows as he squinted at Faith.

“Audrey, doll? Is that ya?”

Faith shook her head. The Rev put his hand up to shield the light. His face was confused and weary. “Baby girl, I don't know who ya are. Who's in my 'partment?”

“It's Faith. Faith Crosse.”

His face cleared a little. “Faith Crosse. Faith Crosse, ya have nerve to come inta my home and wake me up at...” he glanced at the clock, “...s***, it's past noon.” He turned to Faith again. “Sorry. Uh, nevermin' that last part, awl right?” Then, he clambered out of bed and Faith noticed that he was sleeping in his jeans. No shirt, but his jeans from last night were still on. He was so different in the light; a sheen of sweat covered him all over and his hair was messy, but in a sloppy, careless way, not the Reverend way she saw last night. She also saw dog tags around his neck. None of the other necklaces, not even the rosary or the cross embellished with agates. Just dog tags, and probably not even his own. She watched as he stumbled around his room, pulling on a shirt branded with the words, “THE WHITE STRIPES” in bold print. The dog was now back in the room, and the Rev spotted it and petted it on the head. “Hey, Moxie, girl. How're ya?” She yipped in response and tailed the Rev as he left the room. Faith followed them into the kitchen.

The Reverend was digging in the fridge, Moxie sitting at his feet patiently. He took out a beer and a loaf of Wonder bread and a tin of sardines. He opened the tin and tossed one of the sardines to Moxie. He put a slice of the bread in the toaster and pushed down the button. Then, he turned and saw Faith again.

“Whaddaya need from me, Ms. Faith?”

Faith opened her mouth, then closed it. She couldn't remember what she came to tell the Rev. All she remembered was feeling good, coming here, and being shocked beyond her imagination.

“I...”

Twitch waited, arms crossed, trying to be patient with the girl who awoke him from his dreams and fantasies and escape.

“I... It was amazing, but...”

“Ya don't remember?”

Faith shook her head.

“No?” The Rev sighed and turned back to his toaster. He spread out his hands on the counter and leaned in, closing his eyes. “Well, I s'pose I needed to get outta bed anyhow.”

Faith felt bad now. “I'm sorry, Rev. I...” Then it hit her. “I slept for eight hours last night.”

Twitch turned to her and looked confused again. “What?”

“Remember, last night, I said I came there because I couldn't sleep? Remember how I said it was a pattern? Well, the pattern broke last night and I slept longer than I have since...”

The hole inside her continued to grow every time Will succumbed to listening to his head, not his heart. Her mother would have let her alone, try to be sympathetic, but her father would have done exactly what Will was doing. But her mother would have stopped him. That little shred of her, Faith held onto it, clung to it like an infant clings to a blanket. She wouldn't let go.

“Since what, baby girl?”

“Since... I don't know what. I slept longer than I have in a while. And, I thought – I think it might have something to do with you. You and the Ruby Room, working together. I think you might have cured me.”

“One night does not a cure make.” The Rev's accent disappeared for that tiny moment. Faith pretended not to notice.

There was another silence before the toaster dinged and the Rev's toast popped out. He opened a grimy cabinet and took out an old plate and took out the bread – now toast – and placed three sardines on it. He then closed the lid as best he could and put it back in the fridge.

“Sardines on toast and a bottle of beer. What an excellent way to start your day,” Faith said quietly in a sarcastic tone. The Rev ignored her and walked around her into the main room.

He sat down on the old sofa and bit into his sardine toast combo. The dog, now finished with its minimal breakfast, jumped up next to him and begged with its eyes for another bite. The Rev pretended not to see.

This was not the Reverend Strychnine Twitch.

Though it seemed obvious, she felt the need to confirm it. “Your name is a pseudonym, isn't it?”

He stopped chewing for a minute, then nodded.

“What's your name?”

He took another bite, not wanting to answer her.

“It's all right. We all have pseudonyms down in Rubyland. But you're not in the Ruby Room anymore, right? So you're not the Reverend Strychnine Twitch anymore. So... if you're not Twitch, how can I call you Twitch?”

“Stop. I'm the Reverend. I have been and I will be.” His accent was still gone.

“The Reverend has an accent! You don't!”

“Yeah, doll, I do.” It was forced.

She sighed. “Well, I just wanted to say thanks to the Rev for helping me. Obviously, I should come back when Ruby opens to find him.”

She walked to the stairs. She stopped at the top and turned.

“Stop tryin' ta fit in where yas s'posed ta stand out, baby.”

Then she headed down the stairs. Whether she made an impact or not, she'd have to wait to find out.

She couldn't deal with the Rev's attitude. It was sort of a change of thought for her. After one night, she thought she knew the Rev.

Scratch that. She did know the Rev; the drunk, happy, amazing Rev. She didn't know the hungover man in the apartment over the Ruby Room. He was a totally different being.

The stairs echoed and creaked on her way down. She opened the door and the girl from before saw her.

“How's he doing this morning?”

“He's... not the Rev today.”

She smiled. “Just you wait until we open, hun. Then, the Rev shows up for real, bringing the party with him. When we get some booze in him, and it's all good again. It'll be just like you remember, all right?”

Faith nodded. The girl patted her back and led her to the door. Then, Faith was outside the Ruby Room, the Dumpster stink worse than before. The sun was still out and she looked toward it, thinking, “Why are you here? This isn't a good day. Why isn't it raining, like usual?”

She knew, somewhere in this city, someone was having a good day. Who was she to ruin it by cursing rain on them?

So, instead of wishing ill weather on those that deserved the sunshine, she walked down the sidewalk, considering what the Reverend would do tonight when she showed up at the Ruby Room. Would he remember their conversation in his apartment, or would he be so far gone that he would have no idea that she had even gone to see him?


Faith estimated that it was probably around one thirty when she arrived at the park. This was the only patch of green in the whole city. Faith rarely ventured out here at all, let alone on sunny days, because of the mothers and fathers and children that inhabited the park for “recreation” and “fun”. And picnics. Lots of picnics.

Sometimes, Faith would come here when it was raining and pretend, for a moment, that she was in a forest in some far away place, curled under a tree, sleeping peacefully, not in this shithole of a city where she couldn't sleep at all.

Faith looked up and saw the small children swinging and sliding and laughing and playing and enjoying life and she began to cry a little bit. She knew it wasn't because of the children; it was because of the Reverend Strychnine Twitch. He had made her believe in something so deeply that she thought that he could and would save her. That he had saved her. And now, it turns out that he was this whole other person entirely, living in an apartment above a bar with a dog that was probably starving. He was a fraud.

Faith knew that the parents were probably looking at her, wondering if she was a threat to their children. So, before someone would tell her to leave, she got up and went herself. She kept her head down and hood up, dreading the fact that she would have to go back to that depressing hotel room, alone, and stay there for the longest time.

Because she was watching her feet instead of where she was going, she ran into someone. She was pushed back a few paces, and down onto the sidewalk. The other person did the same thing, only in the opposite direction. Faith slowly rose, staring.

It was Roxelle.

“Rox – er, Mary?”

She looked up. She was dressed fairly average. Gray t-shirt, denim board shorts, white and purple Puma sneakers. Her brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Her eyes were wide.

“Faith?”

Faith nodded. Her hood fell off and she extended a hand to help Mary up. Faith hadn't noticed before, but they were about the same height.

“What're you doing here?” Faith asked her as she brushed the small rocks off her body.

“I was about the ask you the same thing.”

“I finally got a good night's sleep, and then I went to see the Rev.”

Mary nodded understandingly. “I probably should've warned you.”

“Yeah. He sort of killed my mood.”

“But he's still the Rev, even if we have to wait until seven.” She smiled widely, and it seemed to Faith as if she just wanted the fun of the night, even if the man she loved during the dark wasn't the same in the light.

“So, what're you doing here?”

Mary gestured to a large Volkswagen van parked across the street. It was yellow, but you could hardly tell, because it was covered in graffiti. “Karma and I are picking up a girl. Macy. She's dealing with a lot of stuff right now, and we thought we'd take her out for the day and take her to the Rev tonight.”

“How old is she?”

“She's thirteen.”

“And isn't it illegal for her to go into the Ruby Room?”

“Technically, Ruby serves alcohol, but no one's really there for the drinks, anyway.”

“Whatever you say...”

“You wanna come?”

Faith hesitated. She desperately wanted to go, but Will may or may not get home on time tonight. Who knew when he would be home? What if he came home and she wasn't there? But maybe he wouldn't mind. After all, she had to get out sometime...

“Sure. Why not?”

Mary smiled and took her hand. She led Faith around the swarms of children and bugs and across the empty street. She slid open the door, revealing Karma in the driver's seat, halfway turned around, and a thirteen-year-old girl with long, brown hair and brown eyes behind her in the back. She looked tired, but she seemed to be in good spirits.

Mary took the shotgun seat, forcing Faith to take the seat next to this girl, who she supposed to be Macy.

“Hope you don't mind, Joanna.”

Karma, or rather, Joanna shook her head. Her mohawk was slightly less fierce than it had been last night. She started up the van and they pulled away from the curb.

“Macy,” Mary said, “this is Faith. She's from Ruby too. When we go tonight, she's Rogue, okay?”

Macy rolled her eyes. Faith could predict what she was going to say.

"Stop treating me like a kid. I've done more in my life than you'll ever do." She turned and leaned on her hand and stared out the window.

“Fine. You're one of us now, all right? You can't say that crap in front of the Rev, though, okay? That's not cool around there, and you'll never get saved.”

She didn't even blink. “Whatever.”

Mary sighed and turned around. They drove for a while, through small, dirty streets, basking in the sunlight. There were people lined up at the soup kitchen and people on stoops, smoking cigarettes. It was a usual day here.

Eventually, they stopped at the docks, where the boats used to sit, but since the construction of a new set that wasn't full of rotting wood and holes, they had migrated there instead. The sun had no faltered in the least. The heat reflected off the asphalt and it made Faith so warm that she had to take off her jacket and throw it in the back.

Mary and Joanna hoped out of the van. Faith stepped out into the light, followed immediately by Macy. She looked out at the bay and seemed to perk up slightly.

Joanna, who was now walking to the dock, said, “Remember when we used to bring you here when you were little? When you couldn't even talk?” Without waiting for Macy's reply, she continued, “Why did we ever stop? The last time we brought you, you only knew how to say 'Jo' and 'Mama'.”

Macy's face went blank at the mention of “Mama”. That piqued Faith's interest. What had happened to this girl? Why was she so down? Why was she going to the Ruby Room to be saved?

“We used to hold you when you sat on the edge of the pier and sometimes get you low enough to dip your toes in. And you would giggle and squeal and...” Mary stopped Joanna short, because Macy was looking rather sad at all of these comments. “Oh. Um, sorry, Macy. I...”

“It's okay,” she said.

Faith wanted to desperately to help this girl in some way, any way. But she barely knew this girl, so young in the world, who seemed to have already dealt with her fair share of trauma in her life. But she couldn't resist. Faith put her hand on the girl's shoulder. Her hair was soft beneath her fingers. Macy looked up and smiled at Faith. Faith smiled back, showing this girl that not the whole world was bad. Showing her that not everyone would hurt her. Not everyone was rotten on the inside. Some people just didn't see the damage within her. They didn't notice the small kinks in the surface.

Faith dropped her hand slowly. “How much have they told you about the Ruby Room?”

Macy shrugged, slightly interested. “Not much. They mentioned it in passing, but...”

“But you've heard of the Reverend Strychnine Twitch, right?”

She nodded like it was obvious. “Yeah. Everyone has.”

“Oh, I could name a few that haven't,” Faith said under her breath. “What do you know about the Rev and Ruby?”

“I know that the Ruby Room is a club, which is probably illegal for me to go into...”

“But you won't be drinking alcohol anyway, so it's fine in our eyes.”

“Yeah, I guess. But anyway, it's on the seedy side of town under an apartment.”

And what an apartment it is, Faith thought. “Yeah, but I wouldn't call it 'seedy' exactly. It's not the high-end part of town, sure, but it's not full of druggies or anything.”

Macy looked at Faith with a look that said “I know that you're lying.”

Faith rolled her eyes. “Fine, there are some druggies, but not many.”

“How long have you been going?”

“Only recently. But I feel like I've belonged there forever.”

“Isn't that a little bit extreme?”

Faith shook her head. “Nope. Not at all.” She paused. “You'll see.”

They stepped out onto the dock. It creaked slightly, but nothing to make them suspicious. The smell of salt and algae and freedom ensnared Faith's attention for a nanosecond before she turned back to Macy.

“What about the Rev?”

Macy smiled and shook her head. “I hear stories... overhear Jo and Mary talking about him. He sounds...”

Faith waited for her to find the right word. “Awesome? Crazy? Awful?”

“He sounds like he's...” She stumbled over her tongue, and Faith could tell that this wasn't normal for this girl.

“He's hard to pinpoint, ain't he?”

She nodded.

“The best way to describe him: he's the Rev. That's it.”

Macy smiled and turned to watch Joanna and Mary. They were laying on their stomachs, arms down below the dock. They seemed to be very interested in something in the water. Macy's curiosity got the better of her and she made her way over and settled in next to Joanna. Faith went over to Mary's side.

Mary leaned over to Faith and whispered, “The Rev's accent catching?”

Faith laughed and playfully pushed Mary. Joanna's hand were barely above the water, where a turtle was trying to bite at her. It was rather small, but watching its tiny attempts was amusing and it took Faith's mind off of the Rev for a while.



The next few hours were the most carefree that Faith had ever had. They threw rocks into the bay, trying to see who's would go farthest. They had races up and down the bay. They did trust falls on the extreme edge of the dock. Thanks to Joanna, they spray painted an old, abandoned building nearby. They pushed in Macy, who was a good sport about it and got Joanna back, who proclaimed, then, that it was time to leave and get ready for the night at Ruby's. Mary drove while Joanna rode shotgun with the window down because she gave Macy the only towel she had in the car. Macy was now smiling and seemed content for the moment. Mary refused to let Faith go home. She insisted that she come with them and borrow from Joanna and herself. And Faith didn't want to disagree.

It was around five forty-five, close to six, and they kept right on driving. It wasn't in the direction that Faith would've expected. They headed toward the suburbs, just outside the city. They wove through a few small roads and ended up in front of a gigantic house.

It was brown, large, and had a pristine yard. It looked like every other house for a few blocks. Very, very cookie-cutter.

Mary drove into the driveway sloppily, running over a few of the bright flowers that lined the drive.

“Whoops,” she said, looking not at all sorry.

“Mary, c'mon. Really? You're going to pull that s*** now, when we've got Macy? I mean... really? You know what your mom'll think.”

“And that's why...”

“I know. Just... not now, okay? Not a good time.” Joanna kept her eyes locked with Mary's until she got out of the car.

The front walk led up to a doorway under an arch. Faith felt so out of place. She just wanted to go to Ruby and get out of here. Mary walked around her and opened the door without a second thought, and Joanna and Macy followed her. Faith hesitated for a moment, then did the same.

The house was bright. That was the first thing that hit you. This almost blinding reflection from the gleaming floors and off the pictures frames. Everything seemed to glow. Light was pouring through the door and the windows and the French doors in the back. It seemed to seep into the home through any pore it could find. It was overwhelming.

Mary, Joanna, and Macy headed up the stairs almost immediately. Faith stared a little, then did the same.

“Mary?”

Mary stopped dead. “Damn...”

A woman with short brown hair and blue eyes came to the bottom of the stairs. Her teeth were just about as bright as the house. It was sort of frightening.

“Hi, Jo. Hi, Macy.” She said with her smile only getting bigger.

They nodded in response.

“Who's this, Mary?”

“That's Faith, Mom.”

Faith gave a small wave. Her smile widened even more.

“Nice to meet you.” She turned back to her daughter. “What are you doing home already?”

“We're changing. Some of us got a little wet at the docks.” Mary didn't seem to appreciate her mother's intrusion.

“Oh, well, all right. Then where are you off to?”

Mary shrugged, trying to make everything look nonchalant and natural and true. “I'm not sure. We'll find something, I'm sure.” She looked to Joanna for help, and she shrugged and nodded as well.

“Okay. Um, have fun then.”

“Thanks, Mom,” she said, not sounding very thankful at all. She turned and headed up the stairs, and the other three followed.

The doors were all closed. They seemed to be heading to the one on the end, with the caution tape and “KEEP OUT” signs all pasted up. Mary opened that one and held it for her three guests, and closed it again.

It reminded Faith of the Rev's apartment, what with all the posters, but this was much cleaner and twice as large. And there wasn't a little black dog. Instead, in a tank on the far side of the room, there was a large yellow snake curled up in the light of a heat lamp, a bulge in its belly from a few days ago.

Mary immediately went to raid her closet. Macy went to a duffle bag on the floor by Mary's dresser. Joanna went to the snake. Faith stood there like a statue, not knowing what she was supposed to be doing.

“Faith,” Mary said, “come over here for a second.”

Faith meandered over, trying not to look too out of place. Mary was flipping through her closet, which seemed to be full of band t-shirts.

“This is a lot different than the rest of your house.”

Mary smiled. “I made my mom sign a contract saying that I had the freedom of self-expression in my room. It nearly killed her to sign it, but she did, with the help of my dad, and I got to do whatever the hell I wanted.”

“I live at Amboy. No can do on that front.”

“Well, at least you don't have to clean.”

“Good point.” She pulled out three t-shirts. One that read “THE OFFSPRING”, one that was really half a shirt, cut off at the middle with holes and no sleeves, and one that was long-sleeved, littered with transparent skulls. “I'm not sure if these will fit perfectly, but they should be close.”

Faith looked at her dull gray jeans and was cut halfway down the middle. “I don't know. What do you think?”

From behind, Macy said, “The black one.”

“The one with the skulls?”

She nodded.

Mary shrugged. “I like the red one, but I think that Jo might steal that one to go with her bellybutton ring.”

Faith turned and looked at Joanna. She was smiling with the snake entangled around her. “Yep, that's the one I want, if you please.”

“Well, then put Jubilee down and get over here and get it.”

Mary handed the black one to Faith and told her that if she didn't want to change in front of everyone, she could take the bathroom down two doors on the right. Faith just peeled off her shirt and pulled on the shirt. It fit rather well. A little tight, considering Mary was a little bit smaller than her, but it felt like protection. The skulls weren't misshapen or anything, so that was a good indicator. Joanna's looked good, her bellybutton ring shining in the evening light barely coming through the closed curtains. Mary put on the Offspring t-shirt, and Macy had gone to the bathroom to change.

Once they were all back together, Mary and Joanna declared that they were going to do Macy and Faith's makeup. Faith didn't complain. She had never had anyone do her makeup before. It wasn't like Will was going to jump at the opportunity or anything. Macy seemed a little reluctant, but Joanna swept back her long hair and held it there with two pencils. Then, she set to work as Mary claimed Faith.

Every day that she spent up here, their faces were slipping away more and more. His blue eyes, her green ones. His curls, her braids. His high cheekbones, her cherry lips. Slipping away, all those little details she had taken for granted, as she laid here and tried to hang onto a forgotten dream.

“You can open your eyes now, Faith,” Mary said.

Faith did. And what she saw before her was not Faith.

It was Rogue.

This girl in a black shirt covered in skulls, with too much makeup around her eyes, with her hair with a fake streak of red that Mary had clipped in – this was not Faith Crosse from the Amboy Plaza. This was Rogue, from the slums. Nightly patron of the Ruby Room. The one who pushed boundaries and drank the Rev's whiskey. Sins dripped off her tongue and passion seeped through her skin. And she didn't care.

Rogue smiled.

“You like?”

“Oh, hell yeah, I like.”

Mary smiled and she and Rogue switched spots so she could transform into Roxelle. Joanna was finishing up Macy and Rogue peeked around.

This girl grew up in a flash second.

Her eyes were clearly outlined in thick, sooty eyeliner and red mascara. There were three small red rhinestones on the edge of her eye. Her lips were dark – probably a hue of purple, but Rogue couldn't tell. Her shirt was at least three sizes too large and showed off one of her shoulders. In bold print, it read, “KILLJOY”. She was wearing gray skinny jeans and red Converse Chucks. Joanna pulled the pencils out of her hair and it fell like a curtain. She was now ready to meet the Rev.

“Well, baby girl,” Rogue said, impersonating Twitch, “it's lookin' like you're a'ready ta go, yeah?”

Macy smiled. Rogue smiled too. Joanna and Mary finished their makeup, transforming themselves into Karma and Roxelle, and they were on their way. Mary's mother had no idea.

It was seven fifteen when they got there. The sun had already disappeared for the day, and Ruby wasn't even half full yet, but Rogue was for sure that the Rev was around. He wouldn't be totally into his groove yet, but he'd still be the Reverend.

They got out of the van quickly, out into the night air. It was getting cold, but it would be warm and hazy inside Ruby.

Rogue looked at the young girl, so breathless, so excited.

“You ready?”

In return, she got an unsure shrug.

“Don't worry. Just stand out, and everyone will love you.”



The haze was thick, the music was loud, the smell was foul, and Rogue was happy. Macy stayed by her side as she navigated through the people. She was so much smaller than everyone else.

“Baby girl, no one's gonna hurt ya!” A voice pure, sweet, and drunk said.

Rogue turned and Macy looked in awe upon the Reverend Strychnine Twitch for the first time. He looked right at home, more so than in his apartment overhead. His fur-collared coat was nowhere to be found, but all of his necklaces were back, along with his sunglasses and correct hair.

“Who's this here little doll?” He knelt down, some of his beer sloshing over the edge of the cup as he did so.

“Macy.”

“Macy?” He drawled it out long and sugary and sexy and lovingly. Her name sounded better than when he said her name. “An' you're a'comin' here for what?”

“She came for you, Rev.”

He looked up at Rogue and squinted, like he only just noticed she was there. “Me? Why me, baby doll?”

“I want to be saved.”

He smiled and stood shakily. Karma and Roxelle stood back a ways, watching the scene unfold. He extended a hand to Macy, and she slowly took it. “Well, no one said tha' there had to be an age limit. Who's a'gonna say tha' this sweet, little sugalump cain't be saved by ole Revvie, eh?”

Karma, Roxelle, and Rogue walked behind Macy and the Rev. He continued to talk to her, and she seemed to be extremely happy.

“We've done our deed,” Karma said. To the Rev, she called, “Hey, Rev! Anything happens to her, you're in deep s***!”

He smiled and shot her a thumbs up.

The three headed to the side of the room and settled into a set of chairs. Rogue wondered if Will had noticed her nonattendance yet. Sometimes he worked so hard that he was just exhausted at the end of the day, and he would come home and immediately retire. Hopefully he did so tonight. She knew that he would find out eventually, but she hoped that she would get lucky and have him in the dark for a while.

Roxelle settled into the chair and sighed. “Not exactly hopping yet, is it? Oh well, we've still got time.”

“Do you guys always come early?”

Roxelle shrugged. “Sometimes we come early, sometimes we come later. Sometimes we get here before it opens, even, to see the dear, old Rev.”

“So... does your mom know?”

Rogue immediately wanted to take it back. She knew that she had hit a nerve with that comment.

“My mom has no idea, and nor would I care if she knew. My dad knows I'm gone, he just doesn't know where, and he doesn't care anyway.” She sighed again. “This is why I wish I had a sister or brother or something. To distract them.”

“You want mine?”

Roxelle smiled. “Yeah, what's the story about that? You and your bro, living in Amboy?”

Rogue swallowed.

It was the middle of the night, a cold, cold night, when Faith arouse from her bed and tiptoed down the hall. She crept into the kitchen and, in the dark, felt her way around.

The light flicked on.

There was Will's girlfriend, Renee, standing there in the doorway. Her short, dark hair was rumpled and she looked shocked. Not that Faith could blame her. How often do you wake up in your boyfriend's house and go into the kitchen to find his little sister holding a chef's knife? And with a long cut running down her forearm?

“Please don't tell him.”

“I won't. Don't worry.”

She came over, then, and took the knife and washed the rubies off of it and wrapped Faith's arm in a towel. Then she sat with her on the couch as they watched an old movie. It was the nicest feeling Faith had had since before they died. It was like a faux love, and that was what she needed at the moment.

“Rogue?”

Her chin was trembling and she was trying to hold back tears. It was too much.

“Faith?”

“I'm s-sorry. I just... since they died...”

“Oh my God, I'm so sorry,” Roxelle said. She grabbed Faith's hand. Karma came over and sat on the arm of the chair and hugged Faith from that awkward angle.

“It's okay, Faith. You're here now, with us. Nothing can hurt you, remember?”

She nodded. As she cried, they stayed there. Anyone who saw them, though it would be hard in the dark, would have no idea what they were doing. They would have no idea that these two girls were healing the core of a broken girl. They had no idea that they were forming an unbreakable shield of revelry, one that would encompass all the holes in this girl's armor and morph it to gold.

“You'll be okay, all right, Faith? Come on, let's straighten our backs, hold our heads high, and be Rogue. Nothing can touch you tonight.”

Rogue nodded. The peeled off of her and she stood like the warrior she was. She wiped the tears away carefully, trying not to smear the makeup and failing.

“Let's fix it and then we'll have a little fun, okay?”

Roxelle and Karma took her over to the edge of the Ruby Room and Karma ran her hand over the wall and opened the door to the Rev's apartment.

“I know you probably don't want to go up there again,” Roxelle said, “but the other bathroom is really just a hole in the ground. Besides, his has a mirror.”

They crept up the stairs and Karma closed the door behind them.



Rogue didn't want to face this poster-clad room again. It hurt. She had just been here hours before, when the Rev that was downstairs was transformed into something else entirely; something that reminded her of Will.

Moxie looked up from the couch, miserable, and put her head back down when she realized that these three girls weren't the Rev.

“That poor dog. She doesn't get enough to eat.” Instead of going into the bathroom, Karma went into the kitchen and rummaged around in the fridge. Moxie heard her and followed.

Roxelle ripped off some toilet paper and wet it in the sink. Then she dabbed around Faith's eyes. “This might just mess it up more. I'm sorry.”

Faith shrugged. She knew that she should be able to do this by herself, but her mother had never taught her. Roxelle worked away, trying to restore Rogue in Faith's face.

“What's your story, Mary?”

Roxelle hesitated for a moment. “What's there to tell? My mom got pregnant at sixteen with me and she claimed, in a fit of rage, that I ruined her life. She's been trying to get me to forget since she said it.”

“Well, she was probably pretty mad...”

“Never forget what people say when they're angry. That's when their true feelings come out. Twitch told me that once.” Her face was set. She didn't want to talk anymore.

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked.”

She sighed. “It's okay. I asked you, you asked me. We're even.”

“What about Karma?”

“I don't know if she'd want me to tell you, but she has had twelve different sets of foster parents. Her real mom and dad were shot and killed downtown by some insane guy who broke out of prison. Yeah, I know, it's awful. It wasn't that she was a bad kid, she was just introverted and she was even mute for a while. We met at school and found Ruby together. The Rev helped us both. When we turned eighteen, she came to live with me. We're best friends. Sisters, no matter how corny it sounds.”

“Hey,” Karma appeared in the doorway. If she had heard anything they had said, it obviously didn't bother her. “We already knew that the Rev was an alcoholic, right?”

She led them out and into the kitchen. Moxie had her nose buried in a tin of sardines. She opened the fridge. Behind the beer and liquor and other assorted booze, there were three gigantic bottles of grape juice. They all laughed.

“Well, now I suppose we know why he has no beer gut.”

“Better now, Rogue?”

She nodded. Roxelle patted her back and they went back down the stairs.


In the minimal amount of time that they'd been gone, the place had filled up considerably. A band was onstage – not Twitch's – and they had attracted a fairly large crowd to the dance floor.

The girls quickly ran away from the door in case Twitch spotted them.

“Rev?”

From the side of the stage, Twitch was smoking a cigarette and talking to Macy.

Karma approached first with a smile. “Hey, Macy K, how's your night going?”

It was easy to see that she was having a blast. “It's fucking awesome!”

Twitch laughing and hugged her with one arm while Roxelle laughed shakily. “You can pull that s*** here, but not around your parentals, okay?”

She rolled her eyes. The band seemed to have finished a song and Twitch leaned down a said into Macy's ear, “Ya ready ta get saved, baby girl?”

She looked like she had been ready her entire life. She nodded and the Reverend grabbed her hand and pulled her onstage.

“The Downlows, everyone! Yeah!” The applause got considerably louder when Twitch walked onstage. The band themselves even clapped for him. He bowed theatrically and waved them off.

“C'mon, now, ya aren't here ta see me. What ya are here fer is ta see this little doll get saved, right a'fore yer very eyes.”

There was a holler and some more clapping.

“This here baby girl, Macy, has been strugglin' all her life ta find acceptance by her Mama and Papa. She was tellin' me her story just a'fore we came up here. It's the saddest tha' ever my heart heard, truly.” He put his hand over his heart at this statement. “Bu' today, Karma and Roxy, two o' our own here in Rubyland, came and saved her from her miserable state. They did their damnedest to make this little girl happy. An' tonight, they brought her here to be saved and reborn by the Reverend Strychnine Twitch!”

Thunderous applause and yelling erupted from the crowd as the Rev put his hand on her forehead and muttered words to himself that were so muffled, not even Macy could make them out. The noise died down to a thorough silence. Then, the Reverend opened his eyes and spoke again.

“The thing everyone's got in common, Macy, is that theys all a'gonna die someday. So, ya gotta make every single day coun' like it's yer last.”

Silence.

“What's yer name?”

“Monroe,” she said right away.

Twitch turned to the crowd. “Monroe!”

Without needing a cue, Monroe jumped into the crowd alone, not taking direction from anyone, not needing any. She was untethered now. Weightless.

Free.


Once Monroe was out of the most pit, the three rushed over to her. They hugged her and high-fived and celebrated the newcomer to the Ruby Room.

“Excellent work on the dive,” Karma said. She and Roxelle were smiling widely.

“What made you pick 'Monroe'?” Rogue asked.

“It was my mom's maiden name. It seemed to fit.”

“Well, good on you. You did a great job. They seemed to dig you.”

The Downlows were back onstage, and Twitch was back to his cigarette. Zane was over talking to him, but Rogue didn't really want to say hello to him. After all, she only had talked to him for a minute or two when she first met them. Then where had he gone? He seemed upset about something and was trying to get the Rev's help. Twitch seemed to be trying to get him to calm down. She couldn't help but wonder what was going on with him. Karma and Roxelle were too focused on Monroe to notice.

Karma led them over to the back of the dance floor and they began to shake free of the shackles that held them down, not that there were many after today. Out of the corner of her eye, Rogue watched Zane throw up his hands and walk away from the Rev. He went to the bar and took a seat on the end. He called the bartender over and, by the looks of things, asked for a strong drink. Rogue excused herself from the group and made her way over.

“Hey, stranger,” she said as she took a seat next to him. “Remember me?”


He looked at her and she knew that the answer was a very obvious no. The bartender slid his drink down; it appeared to be a Bloody Mary.

“It's Faith Crosse. Rogue.”

He nodded, but he wasn't really paying any attention to her.

“I saw you talking to the Rev. You seemed sort of... upset.”

He sipped his drink, oblivious.

“I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help you.”

“Only if you can rewind time. Or make me a smarter man.”

“What happened?”

“My girlfriend shot herself last night. While I was here.”

“Oh my God. I'm so sorry.”

“She left a note, but I'm still confused.” He pulled a small, folded piece of paper from his pocket and handed to her.

“You sure it's not too personal?”

He shook his head. “No. Maybe you can help.”

She unfolded it slowly, like it would disintegrate before her if she was too rough.



Dear John,

I know that you probably won't understand why I did what I did, but I just couldn't live like this anymore. My life wasn't really a life anyway. It was cleaning your apartment, cooking your meals. I know I should've left you a long time ago, but I loved you so much that I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was torn in half. Do what was best for my head or my heart? And with you gone every night to that bar, coming home rambling drunk, and the next morning with a hangover and rambling on and on about the Reverend, I just couldn't take it anymore. So, I made my decision, and, though I thought of what you might've said, I did it anyway. I hope you can forgive me and I want you to know that I still love you.

I'm sorry for everything I've ever done.

Dalaeni


She folded it back up. “I...”

“It's bad isn't it? And I never even thought. She told me that she wanted me to stay home a few times, but I didn't listen.”

Roxelle and Karma were watching now. Rogue motioned for them to stay back.

“It's not your fault, you know.”

He shook his head. She could tell that he was trying his hardest not to cry.

“She made the decision and it's what she wanted.”

“But I could've changed it!”

“No, you couldn't have. One way or another, she would've found a reason to do it. Trust me. All you could've done was postpone it. You did absolutely nothing wrong, John.”

She put a hand on his shoulder and stood to leave.

“Hey, Faith.”

She looked at him.

“You're right. Thank you.”

She smiled and nodded. “Any time you need me, I'm here.”

Roxelle and Karma pounced as soon as John turned around.

“What's wrong with Zane?”

“Hmm? Oh, John's fine. Um, his girlfriend just... committed suicide.” Their looks turned from breathless curiosity to heartbroken nausea.

“What?” Even Karma's hair seemed to deflate a little.

“You... you might want to go talk to him. Or not. I can't tell what he wants. Just... be careful. And I think I'm going to head home for the night.”

They nodded and said their goodbyes and went over to John.


“Baby girl!”

Rogue spun. Just as she was opening the door, Twitch came stumbling up to her.

“Where's y'all goin'?”

“I'm going home, Rev.”

“What? Y'all just got here!”

Still holding the door open, letting in cool air, Rogue sighed and became Faith. The Downlows were playing a Nirvana song now, and she could tell that the Rev was itching to dance to his favorite song.

“Well, something's come up. I have to go.” She turned and the Rev grabbed her upper arm.

“Don' leave on me, suga.”

His green eyes were so tired and full of pleading sorrow and a certain emotion that she couldn't quite place. It seemed to be... mistaken.

“But... Rev, I...”

Suddenly, the door was pushed wide open. A group of five large guys stood there, shadowed in the alleyway.

No one seemed to notice but the Rev and Faith. A few heads turned and stared, but not many. That was until one hit the lights.

They were met with “boo”s and complaints from the crowd. Faith could see Monroe hissing right along with them. She turned back to these men, who filled the doorway. They were heavily tattooed and pierced and they looked extremely mean.


“Dammit, Jimmy, I told ya to get the f*** outta here.”

Jimmy smirked. “You can't get rid of me, Twitch.”

“We don' hafta let ya in.”

Jimmy scoffed. “The hell you don't.”

Jimmy threw the Rev into Faith, and they both hit the floor. The Rev stood and helped Faith up before turning on Jimmy and his gang.

“I thought ya were in the slammer, mate.”

Jimmy circled the crowd. They were almost completely silent, and had been since he knocked down the Rev. You could see that Twitch was foaming mad, but was trying to contain himself.

“Yeah, I was. Got out early.”

“For wha'?

He laughed. “Good behavior.”

Monroe was in the front. Faith could see her standing right in front of Jimmy. He stopped and stared at the Rev.

“You owe me a lot, Twitch.”

Twitch gulped invisibly. He was terrified of this man.

“I was there for six and a half years because of you and Audrey.” Jimmy was leaning in close to the Rev now. He looked like he was ready to blow out his brain and kick it to pieces.

Someone spat on Jimmy's shoe.

It was Monroe.

It took about three seconds for Jimmy notice, only half of one for the Reverend to jump to her rescue. Jimmy turned and grabbed for Monroe's neck, but Twitch was blocking her, so he got punched in the chest. Jimmy merely laughed.

“Are you protecting your new baby doll?”

The Rev grimaced as if he knew what was coming next. He probably did. Jimmy punched him square in the jaw.

Faith saw everything in slow motion. Zane running over and jumping on Jimmy's back. Monroe running to Roxelle and Karma by the bar and diving beneath it. The crowd closing in on Jimmy and the other four. The Rev hitting the ground with a dramatic thud, his mouth open, dripping his sweet, special blood onto the dance floor.

It didn't take much to get them out. They knew that the crowd was not theirs and that it would take more than five of them to have any chance. But before he was pushed out, he turned to the closest person, which happened to be Faith, and hissed, “We'll be back.”

The door slammed and it was dead silence as the Rev rose. No one extended a hand to help him. His mouth was bleeding rather badly. Immediately, Mary, Joanna, and Faith ran over and took him in arms and helped him up to his apartment.



They took off his necklaces and coat and shoes and laid him on his bed. Mary held an cloth wrapped around some ice cubes on his cheek. Joanna was raiding his freezer; he claimed that there were popsicles and they had agreed that that would probably be good for his injury.

She called from the kitchen, “Do you want a brown one or a purple one?”

“Brown?” Faith asked from her position at the end of the Rev's bed, comforting a scared Moxie.

“Whiskey,” he murmured. “Brown.”

“Get him a brown one, Jo!”

The freezer door shut and Joanna came in with a brown popsicle for the Rev. She handed it to him and he popped it in his mouth. Just that alone made him look like a child.

“Baby girls,” he said, “ya do know that ya don' need ta be takin' care o' me. I can do that by myself.”

“Shut up, Rev. We needed to. He hit you hard.”

The Rev's look turned from shy to hate. “When I see tha' bastard again, I swear...”

“Rev, come on...”

“No.” He recoiled from them. “Go.”

They stood. “Rev, really, this is–”

“Leave!”

They jumped back from his voice, so harsh and loud and out-of-place. They looked at each other. They didn't want to leave the Rev in this state. But they backed out of the room. Moxie curled up next to her owner and looked at him with sad eyes. He didn't notice.

Monroe was waiting for them at the bottom. She looked shaken.

“God,” she said, standing up immediately upon seeing the girls coming down the stairs. “Is he all right?”

They were caught. They couldn't nod, they couldn't shake their heads. He was stuck in the middle, and the words to tell her were stuck in their throats. So, she burst past them and up the stairs and the words rose up like they had never been missing in the first place.

“Monroe!”

It took a few seconds to get their feet to run up those steps again, but those few seconds were all she needed.

They knew that she had gone into his room. They could hear the yelling. They didn't want to go in, so they just stood there, outside the curtain.

“Rev–”

There was a short pause, then the Rev exploded.

“What the hell were you thinking out there, Macy? What the f*** was that? He was at least three times my size, maybe even six for you! And he's already angry at me enough! Why did you have to go and make it worse? You started that! This could all be different if you hadn't butted your head in! He's going to come back and...” He screamed. “God, Macy, I'm going to kill you. I am. I swear to the fucking god above, I will!”

Something smashed against the wall. It sounded like glass. Macy came running out, tears streaming down her face already. She stopped in front of Mary and said, “Take me home.”

Mary hugged her close and glared in the direction of the Rev's room. Faith had a feeling that this meant war.


Karma's van came to a loud stop in front of a large, contemporary house on a large expanse of land. The driveway was probably a quarter of a mile long and the lawns were kept immaculately. Faith felt so out-of-place here.

Macy slid open the door. She had said absolutely nothing on the way home. The Rev's harsh words must have really cut her deep. She didn't even look back as she walked inside.

“Twitch has no idea how much he means to her,” Mary said, obviously angry as they pulled away from her home.

“Well, he was hurt and his pride took a hit too.”

“Stop trying to defend him, Jo. He yelled at a girl. He should know how fragile she is, what with her parental problems and stuff.”

“Mary–”

“I'm going to get back at him.”

“What?”

She turned, smiling, and looked at them both. “And you're helping me.”


Mary had decided what to do to the Rev as they pulled up to the Amboy Plaza. As Faith struggled out, she rolled down the window.

“We'll come get you at ten tomorrow, all right?”

“Yeah. I'll be here. And if I'm not, call up to room 924.”

“Awesome. Ciao.”

She rolled up the window and they drove away. Faith turned and returned to her home and, for the first time, she didn't mind.


“Hey,” Will said.

Faith looked up from the window. Her hair was like a curtain around her face. “Hi. You're a little late tonight, aren't you?”

“I had a date with Renee.”

She nodded. “And...?”

“And what?”

“Did you ask her yet?”

He sighed. “No.”

“Well, you better do it soon.”

“I know, I know.”

“I know you know. I'm right.”

He changed the subject. “Are you going to try to sleep tonight?”

“Oh! I didn't tell you. I slept twelve hours last night.”

It took a second to register. “You... did?”

“Yeah. I guess... I don't know what happened. I just... slept.”

“That's... amazing! Good. That's... great.”

“Yeah...”

There was a silence then. An awkward one.

“Well... good night, then.” He turned and left.

“Bye,” she said, but he was already gone.

She sat there for a few more minutes, watching the bay ebb and flow, the last, tiny rays of sun picking out their auras and spitting them toward her in gawky arrays. But then, the sun's fiery wrath fell over the edge of the earth and was swallowed. And she crawled into her bed and closed her bed, trying not to think of the Rev.


Faith had no idea what was going to happen today. Will had been called in early to work and Faith had been left with Renee for company. Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. They played card games and made popcorn on the stove. They gossiped about Faith's favorite celebrities. They unfurled a roll of paper in the hallway and drew a giant masterpiece. They taped it to Faith's bedroom wall. Then, Will came home.

“Will!” Faith ran to the top of the stairs. “Will, come see what we did today!”

He looked up at her. He was confused, out of it. “That's great, sis.”

“What?”

Renee came up behind her. “Will? Are you okay?”

Will trudged up the stairs. Renee met him halfway. “What happened?”

“I... I lost my job.”

Renee hugged Will and Faith slowly walked back to her room. She closed the door. Her life stopped cold once again. She curled up in a fetal position on her bed and started to cry. “Why does this always happen?”


Faith opened her eyes. Six in the morning. Will would be leaving soon. She could see the light beginning outside, but there were clouds today. Back to the normal routine. She sat up, using her elbows as her balance.

Her door opened. In came Will, with his normal cup of coffee. It was amazing how nothing had changed for him, but, in only two days, so much had for her. “Oh, you're awake.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you sleep?”

“Yes. Nine hours.”

“Good, good. Excellent.” He nodded and there was another awkward silence. He turned to leave.

“Will?”

“Yes?”

“Have a good day today.”

He nodded. “Uh, sure. Bye.”

“Bye.”

And he left. She got out of her bed and stretched. But things were too quiet now. So, she searched under her mess and found the television remote and flicked it on. Weather. Good enough. She left it on as she showered and brushed her hair out and her teeth as well. But her hair seemed so dark and long and boring that she pulled it back out of her face. She threw on some plain clothing that wasn't dirty and sat down on the edge of her bed. The people on the television seemed so monotonous and normal and completely bored. There was no enthusiasm in their voices. It bored her more than the silence. And it was almost ten anyway.

The hallway was empty, as usual, and, for once, Faith didn't feel out-of-place walking down the hall alone. This time, she wasn't really sneaking out. She was just leaving. Flat out. That's it. No shame.

She didn't notice Joanna's van right away. She didn't know how, she hadn't seeing as how it was a giant, graffiti-ed bus. It was parked slightly down the way, but not much. Mary's arm was hanging out the side and it moved every so often, like she was trying to express something to Joanna.

Faith made her way over there and taped on the door. It slid open to reveal no Macy, but Jubilee in his tank. Faith recoiled from it, then relaxed. Mary laughed at her.

“Jubilee's going to help us get the Rev back for hurting Macy.”

Faith's face must have shown her unsureness rather obviously, because Mary laughed at her again. “He's not poisonous! Don't worry! We're not going to kill him!”

They laughed at Faith some more as Joanna pulled away from the curb and down to Ruby.


The girl went through the same routine, not even asking about the snake. They crept up the stairs, which granted them mercy and did not creak very loudly.

When they were at the top, Mary set the tank down and lifted the snake out of it. They tiptoed into the Rev's room. He was in the same position that Faith had seen him in when she was here the first time. There were more bottles around him this time, though. Faith watched as Mary gently set Jubilee on the sheets of Twitch's bed and Joanna put a note on his bedside table. Then, they scurried out, leaving the tank as well.


They waited in the Ruby Room for about twenty minutes before the Reverend's scream filled the air. Someone dropped a bottle and it smashed on the floor as the girls laughed hysterically. They could hear him stumbling around upstairs and they could hear him running down the stairs and opening the door and standing there, staring at them.

“What the hell?”

This only made them laugh harder. Mary choked out, “D-did you read the... the n-note?”

He stared at them for a moment, then went back up the stairs. When he was up there, Mary hissed, “Go, go, go!” and they ran out of the Ruby Room and into Joanna's van and sped toward Mary's house, still laughing.


They all ran up the stairs and hurled themselves onto Mary's bed and just laughed until they felt like they were going to throw up. Faith hadn't felt that good in forever. She had friends, and they enjoyed her company, just as she enjoyed theirs.

“Do you think he'll be mad with the note?” Joanna asked.

Mary shrugged. “Maybe. I can never guess with Twitch.”

“What did the note say?”

Mary laughed again. “It said... 'You ever screw with our baby girl again, it won't just be a snake next time. Take care of him for me, won't you? XOXO, Roxy, Karma, and Rogue.'”

Faith smiled. She didn't know how the Rev would take that one either.

There was a timid tap on the door.

“What?” Mary snapped, turning cold.


Mary's mother stuck her head in, and Faith realized that she was younger than most mothers of girls Mary's age. “Hello, girls.”

“Mom...” Mary whined. “What do you want?”

“I just wanted to...” she spotted the missing tank and snake. “Where's Jubilee?”

“What?”

She pointed. “Jubilee. He's gone. Where is he?”

Mary tried to stifle her laugh. “Sleeping with the Rev.”

They all burst out laughing. “Who? What?”

“Oh, nothing, Mom. I lent him to a friend.”

“Ah. I see. Well...” She slipped out of the room.

“When in doubt, misplace the snake.”

And that started the fits of laughter all over again.


“Do you guys know anything about a girl named Audrey and what she would be doing with the Rev?” Faith said.

There was silence. They were still up in Mary's room, sprawled across her bed, laying on top of one another.

“Why?”

“Well, when I went up there and woke him up, I was standing in front of the window, and he must not have been able to see my face, just my silhouette, because he asked if I was Audrey. It was strange, but I only just remembered it now.”

More silence.

“We've been going there for about two or three years, and you hear stuff, and Audrey has come up only once or twice. Especially if the Rev was within earshot, the talk stopped like” she snapped “that. From what I've heard, he was one of the Rev's past flames. Something like that, you know? But I also heard that she had his kid and left, and that's why he drinks so much all the time.”

There was a pause after Joanna was done speaking. Then, Mary joined in the conversation.

“It's funny to think about what the Rev would be like if he wasn't, you know, the Rev. If he wasn't hungover during the day and partying at night. Maybe, if Audrey's real, he'd still be with her. Maybe, if the kid really exists, he'd be his or her daddy. And, maybe, he or she would get sisters and brothers. But where would we be?”

Another pause. “What do you think she looks like?”

“Well, knowing the Rev, she's probably some sort of freak. A contortionist, maybe? Tattoos, hair dye, piercings, the whole nine yards. Something like that. But I know that she'd be nice. Down to earth. Sentimental, maybe. I know that I would be jealous, but I think that she'd be absolutely perfect for the Rev.”

“Maybe we should get her back for him. As, you know, some sort of apology for the prank.”

“He's the one that needs to apologize!”

“Oh, come off it, Mary. You know that he didn't mean it. He was just pissed. You know that he probably would've told Macy that he was sorry when he cooled down.”

Mary sighed at Faith. “How are we ever going to find her?”

“We have to charm it out of him.”


They began planning it then and there. Since Faith's hotel room was too small and too close to Will, and Mary's mother would never let anything like Twitch inside her home, it was decided that Joanna's apartment would be the best place. They made their way over there in her van and parked around back in an alley. Faith didn't know what to expect of Joanna's apartment. From what her van told, it was most likely messy.

It was.

Oh dear God, it was.

It was like a volcano exploded all of her things everywhere. The sink was full, couch covered, cabinets open, rabbit on the coffee table.

Joanna went over and picked it up. “Hey, baby Billie, how're you?”

“Billie the bunny?”

“Billie Bartholomew Twitch Benson the Bunny. That's his big boy name, isn't it, Billie?” She made kissy faces at him.

“Twitch?” Faith smiled. “You named him after Twitch?”

“No. I bestowed upon him part of the Reverend's name. That's it.”

A squawk came from nearby and in flew a white bird. It fluttered in and landed on Mary's shoulder.

“Oh, and that's Gerard.”

He squawked again in greeting.

Joanna smiled. This was definitely where she belonged.

“So, if we're going to charm the info about Audrey out of the Rev, we're going to need to clean this place up.”

“We?” Faith and Mary said in unison.

“Yes, we. You brought up the Audrey thing, Faith, and Mary, we've done it once, we can do it again. Now, I'll go put these guys away, and we'll get through this, all right?”

They sighed and nodded. Joanna's face lit up. As she skipped down the narrow hall, she crooned, “Don't worry, it won't be so bad.”

Mary and Faith looked at each other because they knew that it would be.


It took them three days to clean up everything. First they had to sift through and throw out all garbage or donate whatever Joanna didn't need – which was a lot. Then, they took what was left and put it back in its proper place. Next, they scrubbed and dusted and swept and tidied and straightened and rearranged and mopped and sang aloud to Joanna's iPod. By early evening on the third day, everything was exactly how it should be, and they each had a change of clothes to switch into after Joanna went to get the Rev. The story that she was using if he was unwilling to come was that Mary in some sort of trouble. Faith hadn't gotten the whole story.

As soon as she left, they changed and put the animals in their places. Joanna hated putting them in their cages, but it was necessary tonight. Twitch was probably a little uncomfortable around animals at the moment, particularly ones belonging to Mary or Joanna.

It was a short wait, considering the drive to Ruby and back. It took Joanna about twenty minutes to get the Rev there, and, by the look on his face when he walked in the door, he was still a little bitter about the Jubilee thing.

“Surprise!” They called out when he walked in. His expression changed immediately. All was forgiven in that one moment. He was happy again.

“Aw, baby, y'all didn't hafta...”

“Yeah, Rev, we did,” Mary said. “We felt bad for the whole snake thing – by the way, he's being good, right? – so we wanted to make it up to you. We decided to throw you a little dinner party.” Mary smiled and she and Joanna each looped their arm through each of the Rev's and led him to the small table in the kitchen. Faith pulled out a chair for him and they sat him down.

“This is awful nice o' yas...” He seemed suspicious.

Faith and Mary took their seats while Joanna took the lasagna out of the oven. It had been frozen, but she supposed that Twitch wouldn't mind.

It was awkward while they ate. Twitch looked at each of them like he was looking for answers. The girls tried to make small talk, but he only gave out “yeah”s and “naw”s or head shakes. So, by the time Joanna brought out the dessert, a French silk pie, he knew of the trickery.

“Awl righ', baby girls, wha's goin' on?”

Mary shrugged. She was sweating a little. “What do you mean?”

He laughed. “Y'all think ya cain pull a fast one on the ol' Reverend?”

They all sighed. “We heard rumors about a girl named Audrey,” Joanna said.

“And you said her name when I came to your apartment and woke you up,” Faith added.

The Rev was silent. He stared at his hands. “Wha' makes ya believe those rumas?”

“We know she's real, Rev. We just wanted to hear it from you instead of some druggie in the Ruby Room.”

Another silence. He stood. They stood, protesting.

“Rev, please–”

“Come on, we were just–”

“We didn't mean–”

Mary blocked the door. “Please just tell us so things aren't awkward anymore. So we know who you are.”

Faith could tell that Twitch wanted to push her over and be on his merry way, but he knew that he couldn't do that to Mary, of all people, and that it would take him a while to get to Ruby anyway. So, he turned around and sat on the sofa, sighing and covering his face with his hands. He noticed the rabbit in the cage next to him and took it out. He placed it in his lap and gently stroked it as he began to speak.

“Audrey... Audrey Nadine Renata Jones. She was somethin'. Damn, her looks alone was near 'nough to kill a man. Red hair, sharp gray eyes, perfect skin. But her heart was somethin' else. She was jus' the best thin' tha' ever happened to me. Sweetes', mos' carin' girl in the world. An' I loved her. I loved her so, so much.” The Rev looked far off. The girls didn't want to interrupt him in his fantasy.

“She came inta Ruby early on a... Tuesday, I think. It was afta hours too. I was workin' there at the time, cleanin' by day, partyin' by night. I almos' had ta tell her ta get out. Bu' I knew there was a apartment upstairs an' she tol' me tha' she'd gone an runned away from her daddy cuz he was... nawt a good daddy ta her. So, I snuck her up there an' I brough' her whatever she needed. An' we liked each other fine. She was nice, she tol' me I was sweet ta her. An' we ended up goin' on a date or two. An' I kissed her... and she went right on ahead an' kissed me right back! I was the happiest sucker out there on the street.” His accent disappeared. He was remembering her, his long lost love. “I moved in upstairs and we partied downstairs at Ruby's sometimes, but others we just stayed up there and talked to each other. Watched old movies. Her favorite was Casablanca. I remember watching it the most. And I would just be me around her, because she didn't care if I was rude sometimes, or if I spoke a little too loud. She didn't care if I dyed my hair blue or red or black or bleached it. Blonde was her personal pick, though. But she liked the other ones too, just because they were on me.

“We stayed like that for a year... maybe a year and a half, I'm not sure anymore. But I loved her a lot, and I wanted her to be with me forever, so I asked her to marry me. And, being the young boy I was, I had practically lost my mind when she said yes. We just got a priest of some sort; someone who I worked with was in charge of that. We got married in the Ruby Room. She didn't mind. She didn't want a lot of frills or anything, she just wanted to be with me and I wanted to be with her. And we had our 'honeymoon' upstairs in the attic.” He laughed mischievously, which made the girls blush. “She worked as a bartender down there, while I was a DJ when there weren't live bands and in charge of the live bands when there were. We were happy together.”

He paused. His smile faded slightly, and his eyebrows knitted together. “I remember... one night, she came up to me and told me that she was late.” He looked at the girls and they nodded, prodding him forward. “And then, things skyrocketed out of control. More bands were coming in and, while they performed, I had nothing to do, so I drank and partied right along with them. She didn't mind at first, because I was still doing my job and stuff, so it was fine. But then, little baby Pepper came along and, suddenly, it wasn't okay for me to party anymore. While the bands were onstage, it was my job to go and check on her, which I did, and she was always fine, so I sometimes skipped the check-ups.” The girls gasped, and he jumped. “No, no! Nothing really happened. Sometimes she would just be crying and I would be too drunk to notice and Audrey would get angry with me. And the same thing had happened when we got busted for being too loud by the cops. She was crying, so the cops, assisted by Audrey and I, went upstairs and, after we cleared everything, she gave me her 'last warning'. If Pepper was crying again and I wasn't there, she was leaving.” He stopped and swallowed. “And, a few days later, I woke up, and they were both gone. No note, no nothing. Just gone.”

Another silence, but this one was not awkward. This one was a shocked silence. It was one that was not meant to be filled. Billie fidgeted on the Rev's lap and he just held the bunny closer. It showed that he had once been – still is – a father. But he put the rabbit back in to its cage and stood.

“Thank y'all for the meal.” His accent was forced and his voice shaky.

“Do you need a ride, Rev?” Joanna sounded pitiful.

“No, no, baby girl, I'm... I'm fine.” He stepped out of the door without grandeur or a backwards glance.

The girls stood in silence for a minute, then Mary spoke.

“Oh my God. Poor Rev.”

“That seemed like the absolute perfect life before... you know.”

Joanna stood at the door, like she was waiting for the Rev to turn around, come back, and give her a hug. Her lip trembled, and she began to cry. The girls rushed over to her and hugged her.

“We have to get her back to him. Show her that he misses her.”

“I know, Jo. But we don't know...”

“We can find out everything.”


They dropped Faith off at the Amboy Plaza and told her to meet them here at ten again tomorrow morning. They were going to go to Ruby and see who had worked there when the Rev and Audrey and Pepper were together. She hadn't paid close attention to the employees when she was there last; it was difficult to tell the party-goers and the workers apart. But they were sure that someone had to be around from that time that knew where Audrey had gone. After all, being a bartender was her only job at that time. She couldn't have gone far on the remains of that salary.

Faith had a sense of pride in herself for getting the Rev to say all of that. She knew that she shouldn't, because that was one of his deepest, darkest, most personal secrets, and she shouldn't have asked in the first place, but she did. And it was this pride that made her sing all the way to her hotel room.

“Mary, come out tonight, you could be my valentine. Mary, you're center stage, you're the soul for the new age.”

She hummed when she didn't remember the words. This song only heightened her attitude and made her more excited. She basically skipped her way down the corridor and into her room.

Before running into Will.

“Will!”

He recoiled before he realized that it was his sister. “Hey.”

“What's up?”

“Nothing. Going to meet Renee.”

She nodded. “Are you going to ask her?”

He bounced back and forth on his heels. “I... haven't decided yet.”

She smiled. “You should. You need someone around you that's not me or coworkers. And she could be gone at any second, so you better either solidify it or let it go, because she's not going to last forever, Will.”

“I know.”

She nodded and slipped around him, her energy drained all of a sudden. If she wanted to become a full-time optimist, then she would have to stay away from Will. The thought made her giggle, for whatever reason.

The room was cleaner this time, her dirty clothes put in the hamper. It was nearly full; she would need to collect Will's and take them to the laundromat soon. The beds were clean and made and everything was in its place. It threw her off for a moment. She forgot for a time that life existed out of her little life of pleasure. It was disorienting.

It was around eight o'clock. Faith didn't know what else to do, seeing as rain was beginning to come down, so she showered and sat down by the window and brushed out her hair, feeling so much like a princess out of a fairy tale.

Faith recalled sitting here not a week ago, lonely, forgotten, and tired beyond belief. Now, she sat here, alert, happy, and, most of all, loved. She felt the life welling up within her, how it was supposed to be. And it was utterly astonishing.

She looked down below and saw a figure pacing before the entrance to the hotel in the downpour. She could barely make it out, but he was bumping into people and not even looking to see who they were. She had a feeling that she knew who this was, but she didn't want to know what in his mind was troubling him to pace in front of her hotel. If he needed her, he would come and get her. He knew where she was and how to find her. Faith just sat there, feeling on top of the world, as she brushed out her brown hair and hummed the tune that she was saved to.

It was hard to pass the time, now that she was sleeping semi-regularly. She found herself wanting to curl up and sleep, but not feeling tired at all. Then, she found herself stressing over it. Was this some new form of insomnia? Would all of this begin over again? Would she have to resort to crawling back into her despair, swallowing all of the things that she had once held dear but that were now haunting her, endlessly moaning on and on, never ceasing to give her peace from their incessant whining voices...

No.

She was fine now.

Nothing was wrong with her.

She was fine.

Absolutely fine.

As if she needed to convince herself, she pulled her hair up and went over to her bed and burrowed in as far as she could, making a home in these blankets. It was effortless to feel as ease at first, but her comfort slowly deteriorated into an discomfort. She wanted to know that the Rev was up to down there... but this bed was so comfortable and cozy... but something was wrong with the Rev... but she was so tired... it could wait until later... and before she knew it, the worries about the Rev were washed out by the sense of falling through the atmosphere backwards, into her slumber.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the tips of the surrounding buildings. It wasn't like the house they came from; it was an entirely different world.

“What do you think, Faith? Is this okay?”

Will had changed his methods for the last two weeks. Now, his aim was to make Faith as happy as could be. But, with his new job for a major corporation that required he relocate from the suburbs to the city, this was proving difficult. She had been warming back up to him, but was still more comfortable around Renee. But he was trying entirely too hard, and Faith could see his plan. And now, moving away from the home she had grown up in with her parents – it was as if he was cutting her off from them. And she was anything but happy.

She watched the sun practically drip through the window and she considered. It wasn't like being as bitter as she could would help anything. But she wasn't just going to tell him that she was fine when she wasn't. One thing she never had been, and never would be was a liar.

“No. This is not okay. But I'll live, because this is what you want.”

She swallowed and turned, facing Will and Renee and the manager, who looked very awkward in between them.

“I'm... sorry. This is fine. I... sorry.”

There was a silence as she pushed past them and boarded the elevator alone, listening to the sounds of the floors ticking by as she descended. Faith laid her head against the steel and closed her eyes, sighing and trying to figure out a way of admitting a defeat herself without giving up. It was a complete paradox. How could she not let herself win without losing?


She sat up with a jolt. Her head was spinning with these questions that she was still asking herself. How could she let go and hold on at the same time? It was completely impossible! There was no way that she...

There was a knock at her door. She glanced at the clock.

Two o'clock in the morning.

But she knew who it was. It wasn't at all hard to guess.

She stumbled blindly over to the door and peeked through the hole.

A soaking wet Reverend Strychnine Twitch.

She unlocked the door. Before opening it and exposing herself to whatever the sober Rev would dish out, she sighed, composed herself, and opened it.

Immediately, she knew that this Rev was not sober. She could smell the potent alcohol, even under the smell of the rain.

“Rev?”

He was angry and confused and sad and lost and brooding and hopeless and nostalgic and betrayed and hurt and drunk and, above all, not the Rev.

He was not the Rev now, even in his drunken state.

He pushed past her into the room. Knowing that he would probably blow at any moment, she closed the door.

The Rev walked across the room and stood by her window. His fur collar was ruined by now. As if knowing what she was thinking, he shrugged it off, letting it fall to the floor without a second thought.

“Shouldn't you be at home, Rev? Sleeping? Maybe taking care of your dog?”

“Home?” He sounded like a child who was having trouble believing his parents about something. “What is home? I have no home. I barely own an apartment over a dingy, old, forgotten bar. It's empty up there. There's no one there...” He trailed off, seemingly lost in thought.

She let him be for a moment and turned on the light.

“No. No, no. Please. Turn it off.”

She was surprised. He was speaking eloquently for as drunk as she knew he was. Even so, she flicked off the light again. She could make out his silhouette against the gray of the window and the black framing it. It looked like some old photography class piece that was left in the file cabinet too long.

“Talking to you guys tonight... it made me think, for the first time in... oh, hell, I don't know – nine years, that I miss my Audrey. I miss my wife and my baby... well, she isn't so much a baby anymore. She's...” He put his arm on the glass and leaned his forehead on it. “She's not my baby girl anymore. She probably doesn't even know who the hell I am. Doesn't know how much she means to me. How much I miss her, every second with every inch of myself...”

Faith ached for this man... this thirty-something man who she should never have met in the first place. His story now intertwined with her own, so tightly and securely that she could never fully remove it.

She slowly stepped toward him, not wanting to disturb his dreamlike, poetic state.

“She probably looks like Audrey... I hope she does. If that baby was cursed with my looks, she won't make it to adulthood.” He smiled, then was solemn again. “I don't mean that. I hope she looks like herself, not me and not Audrey. Just Pepper. One hundred percent Pepper.” He laughed halfheartedly, his head somewhere entirely different at the moment. “I can't even remember why we called her Pepper. I think it was a hope that she would get Audrey's hair and not mine... red-brown, with no expression at all – even though, I guess, that's better suited to the color of pepper. But Pepper... I hope that she knows that I love her... though I don't think Audrey talks about me often. I don't know why she would, to be honest. I know I wasn't the greatest husband or father or person, frankly. I mean, I tried to do what I could, but I just... couldn't. And... that's all there was to it. I just... wasn't.”

He sighed and laughed at himself. “Why am I telling you this, Rogue?” He turned, and Faith was caught with the sudden urge to hug him close. “Why did I drag my sorry ass from Joanna's to the Ruby Room to your hotel room just to ramble on about my past to you? Huh?”

Faith swallowed. It was only now she noticed how much larger he was. How much more menacing he was. How much that he should not be here and she should not know him. How much that she feared him now, in this moment, when he might just be pushed by his emotions to do something that he would never do if he was in his right mind.

“Rev, I...”

“Why did you make me dig myself up like that, Rogue? Why did you make me hurt so bad? Why did you make me?” His hair was dripping in the dark, but that was not all. The Reverend Strychnine Twitch was crying.

She reached out her hand to comfort him, but he cringed away from her touch.

“No.”

“Twitch, you've got to see that...”


“See what? That my life is a waste? That I have nothing to live for? That I cannot live like a sewer rat forever? I know these things, Rogue! I know what I need! What I want!”

He was practically yelling now, slowly boiling over, falling over the edge. She knew that Will would notice if it got much louder.

“Shh, Rev, hush.” She rested her hand on his arm and he looked at it like he had no idea what to think. “Shh...”

And, with that, the Rev crumpled to the floor, sobbing inconsolably.

“I don't know what to do! I have no idea where she is! And it hurts so much, every second I think about it.” He rambled on and on, his crying muffling most of his words so that Faith had no idea what he was saying. She simply knelt down beside this man, this grown man who was crying on her hotel room floor, and wrapped her arm around him and leaned her head on his shoulder. She didn't listen to him, she didn't talk to him, she didn't even pat his back. She just sat there. And that, it seemed, was exactly what he needed. Twitch and Faith sat there, and Faith waited for Will to walk in at any time and throw him out and lock her in. But nothing broke the darkness but the Rev's sobs and Faith's breath. Nothing swept the black curtain aside, nothing shattered the shadows. It was just the raw emotion falling out of the Rev and soaking his face. It was beautiful in all the wrong ways.

Eventually, exactly how much time later Faith didn't know, the Rev's crying died down, but neither of them moved. They both stayed motionless and the Rev occasionally would mutter “Audrey” or “Pepper”, but they got farther and farther apart and he seemed to just sputter to a halt midway through his anguish. It just stopped cold in its tracks. His muscles relaxed and his breathing regulated. The Reverend Strychnine Twitch had fallen asleep in her hotel room.

She tried to move away from his sleeping body, but he leaned on her shoulder. His face was puppy-life in appearance – so innocent, so easy. But his youth had disappeared. It was only now that Faith realized that the Rev was actually his age, and not forever young. He was worn, not as shiny and new as he once had been.

Instead of moving and waking him, Faith simply used her other arm to pull the blanket off the bed and covered him with it. His wet hair tickled her face and she almost giggled, but stopped herself before she did. She settled her head back on the window seat and thought of Audrey. Who was she? What made her Rev's? What made Audrey Rev's? What made Rev love her and Pepper with so much of himself?

She thought that maybe it was nothing really special. Maybe it was just the choice that this was the person you could live with. The person you could tolerate for a while. Ultimately, you or the person you lived with would die, so you didn't have to go an eternity with them. Maybe Audrey was the one person that Twitch could tolerate best. Maybe they were just doing what they thought that the world wanted them to do.

Or, maybe, just maybe, there really was the thing called love out there and Audrey and the Rev had it.

Maybe.

And that little maybe was enough to put Faith to sleep with a smile on her face.


The morning came quickly. Faith awoke and, by craning her neck until it hurt, saw that it was around six in the morning. She recalled the Rev's sleeping patterns and Will's usual check-in times and realized that she would have to hide the Rev. Will would be coming in at any moment.

She leaped up. The Rev sort of fell over, half-asleep, half-awake. He blinked.

“What...?”

She leaned over him and whispered directly into his ear like a mother would speak to a sleeping child. “You need to move on over here beside the bed, okay? Can you do that for me please?”

With Faith's guidance, little by little, the Rev made his way to lay parallel to the bed.

“Okay, you need to stay like this. Don't move, all right?”

Twitch nodded sleepily. She covered him with the blanket again.

With only the top of his head peeking out, and the rest of his body hidden, Faith felt that Will wouldn't see him.

But he didn't come in.

Nothing.

She waited for almost a half-hour, but still, no Will.

She paced a little, waiting for him to come in unexpectedly. She flicked through the cable channels quietly. She made some coffee. She showered. She watched from the window.

But Will did not come.

Eventually, the Rev awoke. She looked at him. The way his eyes searched around made it known to her that he did not know most of what had happened last night. What he said next, though, confirmed it further.

“What happened?”

“You were drunk. You came here.”

“Did I...?”

Faith studied him before answering. Did he mean what she thought he meant? Is that what he wanted to happen? No, it couldn't have been. Not when he was raving on and on about Audrey. “No. Nothing like that happened.”

He breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed his eyes. Faith saw the glittering agates again and realized that he had been wearing them the whole night.

“I'm sorry, Faith.” He said. His age was so visible now that he looked out-of-place in her life. It was strange.

She nodded. “It's fine. I know how you feel.”

He scoffed. “I don't think you do.” He stood, looking around for his jacket, which he found over by the window.

“I do. My parents died a few years back.”

He froze.

“That's what started my insomnia. Every time I try to sleep, I see them again, like ghosts, only worse. And when I met you, you made it go away for a moment. But now that I see you dwell on your past, it makes me think about mine more. I'm surprised I slept at all tonight.”

The Rev turned. Faith didn't mean to, but she was looking at him in an accusatory way. He must have felt to blame, even though he wasn't.

“I'm sorry. I... I do miss her, though, Faith. And I'm not saying that you didn't love your parents, I'm sure you did, but yours was a final thing. With mine, it didn't have to be that way. I could've stopped her from going. She didn't have to leave. It was my fault. And that's what tears me apart. The what if's. What if I wasn't the Reverend Strychnine Twitch? What if I was just...”

Faith waited for him to reveal his name. He didn't.

“Never mind. What if I hadn't gotten involved with Jimmy and his gang? Would she still be around?”

“What's the story with them?”

“Jimmy was Audrey's boyfriend before me. And she dumped him and he didn't like it. Of course, he couldn't bring himself to take it out on her, so he just waited until she found me. Then, he took it out on me. He got kicked out of the Ruby Room first time, of course, but he kept trying to come back. And you saw what he can do. He's not soft, Jimmy. He doesn't f*** around.” He instantly looked at Faith. “Sorry, I mean...”

She shrugged. “It's fine. Not like you haven't done it before.”

“Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing!” Faith said with a smile.

“Fine, fine. But if you get offended, it's not my fault, all right?”

She laughed and nodded. Twitch examined his collar. Like Faith had expected, it was ruined.

“Listen, Faith, thanks for not getting... weirded out last night. I swear, it won't happen again.”

They moved toward the door in harmony.

“Don't sweat it. I brought it on anyway. We shouldn't have made you spill.”

“Damn right you shouldn't have.”

“Just leave!” She laughed as she pushed him out.

“Fine, but you'll miss me.”

She closed the door, but she could still hear him laughing as he disappeared down the hallway. She supposed that she would see him again soon, at any rate, but he was right; she missed him. All the time. Whenever he wasn't around, she missed him. And it was strange, because he was so much older and didn't belong to her and didn't want to belong to her... or so she believed. What if that was what the Rev wanted? What if he was just some creep that hung out with younger girls? It made Faith sick to think about.

Luckily, she didn't have to, because it was almost ten and Mary and Joanna were probably parked outside, waiting.



As she approached the van, she hoped and prayed that the Rev hadn't passed and, if he had, they hadn't seen him. The last thing Faith needed was to be questioned as to why the Rev was leaving her hotel.

“Hey!” Mary exclaimed from the passenger's seat. “You ready to play interrogation with us?”

Faith laughed. She assumed that they hadn't seen him. She climbed in and slid the door shut. A pizza box with half of the pizza still in it sat on the chair beside her.

“You're welcome to a slice, if you want. It's from last night, don't worry, no rats or mold or cockroaches or anything,” Joanna said, causing Mary to laugh childishly at the word cockroach.

They were stuck in traffic at one point. Faith hoped that the Rev would go directly up to his apartment and not linger in the Ruby Room. God only knew what an awkward scene it would be if they met up again.

Joanna parked her van out front and they walked around to the side entrance, through the alley.

No Rev in sight.

Faith breathed a sigh of relief. Mary clapped her hands to get attention.

“All of you guys that have worked here for over ten years, get over here please!”

Three people made their way over. Three women. One had dark mocha skin and a head of dark, curly hair. She appeared to be the Rev's age, maybe older. The second was older, maybe fifty-five or so, and her hair was cut into a short gray pixie cut with a touch of blue in the front. Faith found it slightly odd by her standards, but completely normal by Ruby standards. The third was by far the prettiest. She had dark eyes and black dreadlocks. Her skin was light and she was the only one smiling. She appeared to be the youngest. Faith assumed that she must have been a teen to work here for over ten years.

“Adie? You've worked over ten?”

The third woman nodded and her grin grew.

Joanna turned to the other two. “I'm sorry, but we haven't met. I'm Joanna. Karma when it's dark.” She smiled. “This is Faith and Mary, or Rogue and Roxelle.”

They nodded in greeting and gave their names. The one with the dark skin was Lyn, who was Disco when Ruby was open. The one with the gray hair was Ollie, who was Angel.

Mary cut right to the chase, not one for formalities. “What do you guys know about the Rev and someone named Audrey? And Pepper, too, if you remember.”

Ollie spoke first. “I worked part-time back then. I'm not your girl.” With that, she sauntered away without a goodbye.

Faith whispered to Joanna, “She's sort of old to work here, isn't she?”

Joanna waved her off. “Anyone else?”

“Let's go sit, and then we'll tell you everything we know, all right?”

The girls were excited they already knew the story, but it would probably be different from someone that wasn't the Rev's point of view.

They settled and Lyn and Adie looked at each other, waiting for the other to speak. Eventually, Lyn took up the conversation first.

“I remember when Audrey came in. I was working as a janitor then, just like I am now. I was cleaning the bar and she seemed to think that I was the manager or something. She tried to scam me into giving her food or money or something, saying all sorts of wild things that I don't even remember now. After I told her that I was a janitor, she said that all those things were true, but she would move on if she couldn't find the management. And that's when she turned to Rev. He was still sort of new, helping me clean. Audrey charmed him into talking to her and he took pity on her. I think she conjured up some story about her dad, but it was her boyfriend that was giving her trouble, I know now. I had told him about the apartment up there when he started, I don't remember why, and I remember him sneaking her up there, and not very well. He stole food from down here, and I knew, but it wasn't like I was going to stop him. It wasn't like anyone came here for food anyway. And I remember when he would go up there and stay there, coming down for his shift and going up for the night. He never left the place. And I never told anyone. But, after a while, it became normal and I stopped noticing. She got a job down here and they got married, but I didn't come to the ceremony or anything. We weren't real close. Besides, he didn't want to be a janitor, not that I did either, but still. He wanted to get into music or something. I stopped seeing him on a regular basis because he changed to a DJ. That's all I really remember. I pretty much started to tune things out from then on.” She shrugged.

Mary immediately turned to Adie. “What about you?”

“I remember thinking that Audrey was lucky to have the Rev. I mean, he wasn't the greatest man ever, not by any means, but he was nice to her, respected her, that sort of thing. I talked to Audrey a lot, and I think that we became friends. I was sort of the maid of honor at her wedding, unofficially of course. I'm Pepper's godmother, too. I go and see them every so often too. She's bitter about the whole thing. I think she still loves him, but she told him that if he left Pepper alone again that she would leave. She thought that it would work. But, he did, and she always does what she says.”

“Do you know where we can find her?”

She nodded. “I could take you there now. There's nothing else for me to do anyway.”

They eagerly nodded. Immediately, Joanna led her to the van. Adie took the passenger's seat and Mary and Faith took to the back. The pizza box, along with all of its contents, was thrown in the back.

Adie gave Joanna directions, and Faith watched as the buildings turned from skyscrapers to townhouses to large traditionals to small ranches to trailers. They turned into a trailer park and were directed to a small trailer with a pink flamingo in its front yard. Adie hopped out of the van and rang the doorbell twice. Joanna, Mary, and Faith followed her.

They waited anxiously to see the face of the Rev's love. When the door opened, they were met with two. One was stressed and tired and had wild orange hair and stormy gray eyes. The other was young and happy and smeared with something that must have once been edible. Her hair was a less-brutal shade of red, but still vibrant. And her green eyes were exact replicas of the Rev's.

Audrey and Pepper.

“Auntie!” Pepper squealed. She pushed through the screen door and into Adie, who hugged her and picked her up.

Audrey smiled at Adie, but looked suspiciously at the three girls. Faith didn't know what she would do in Audrey's situation either. Where would these people be from?

“Audrey, do you think that we could come in. They have been dying to meet you.”

She nodded, not taking her eyes off of Joanna, who Faith would worry about least. She assumed that it was the mohawk that made her uneasy. She pulled back the door and Adie positioned Pepper on her hip and went inside. The girls followed, single file, each receiving a once-over from Audrey as they entered.

The trailer was dark and small. Adie took a seat on the old, flower-patterned couch and the girls squeezed in after her. Audrey brought in a chair from a table in the kitchen. She took a seat, staring at the girls.

“Tell her what you want, girls,” Adie suggested. Pepper was sitting on her lap, clearly not okay with the amount of strangers in her home at the moment.

Mary told her, of course. “We're from the Ruby Room.”

Right away, Audrey leaned back and rolled her eyes. “Of course you are!” She laughed and pointed at them. “You can stop right there. I don't want to go back. He can't make me.”

“That's it, though. He didn't send us. He doesn't even know we're here,” Joanna said.

“You see, we had heard rumors about you drifting around in the Ruby Room. But we didn't know if you were real or not. So, we sort of tricked it out of the Rev. And he gave us a giant story about you and Pepper. We could all tell that he regrets what he did. He drinks a lot now, more than he ever has before. And it's because he misses you guys. He admitted to being a jackass.” Faith looked at her, but she was into it, and she must have figured that adding that little lie wouldn't hurt their chances at getting Audrey to come back.

Audrey didn't look very convinced. Faith wasn't sure whether or not to add her experience last night in as well. She figured that she would wait until it was desperate.

“Audrey, he really does miss you. He hasn't left your guys' apartment,” Adie added.

“Really?” Audrey looked sympathetic for a moment, but then she put her wall back up. Faith could tell that, whether she liked it or not, she still loved Twitch. She missed him.

Pepper climbed down from Adie's lap and went to her mother. “I've never told her anything about him. Not like she would know. No one her age knows anything about that stuff. But, I think she's getting to the age where she's noticing how everyone has a daddy but her. Eventually, I'll have to tell her. But I didn't think that he wanted me back, especially with her.” She looked up at them. She was conflicted. Very much so. “Are you sure he still loves me?”`

Adie looked her friend in the eyes. “I've seen him when he isn't drunk. He's miserable all the time. He tries to forget, but he can't. It's awful to watch, Audrey, really. Please just come down once and see what happens. At least try to help him because I know that you at least loved him once, if not still do.”


Audrey sighed and put her daughter down. “We'll follow you to Ruby.”

As Audrey and Pepper got into their old blue car, the girls high-fived as inconspicuously as they could. They were helping the Rev, whether he wanted help or not.


Audrey was shaking as they entered the Ruby Room, holding Pepper's hand. Lyn looked up from mopping the floors and her face turned to one of shock, but she turned back to her work almost immediately. Pepper walked close to her mother, practically hiding behind her. Without a word, they went up the stairs to the apartment, and Audrey looked to be on the verge of tears.

“Rev?” Mary called.

“Who's it?”

“It's Mary, Jo, and Faith. Could you come out here for a sec, please?”

“One sec, baby girl!” They heard a flush and a quick squirt of water from the faucet. Then, the Reverend emerged from his bathroom, not looking up.

“What's going on?”

Audrey slowly pushed around the girls and Adie.

“Hi, Twitch.”

His head snapped up. “Audrey?”

She didn't smile. She didn't let herself cry. She stood there, waiting for him to react.

And react he did.

He ran to her and hugged her tightly. So tightly, in fact, that Faith was sure that she couldn't breathe. He buried his face in her hair and kissed her head. “Audrey... I've missed you so much. You don't know how much I've been hurting for you. And I didn't know if you ever wanted to see me again and I just didn't know if you still loved me like I loved you or anything. I just was so broken up over you Audrey.” He held her at arm's length and Faith was positive that she was crying now. “I swear, Audrey, if you come back to me I'll...”

His eyes landed on Pepper, standing by Adie, clutching her leg. He slowly let go of Audrey.

“Is this...?”

She nodded, crying. “She's yours, Twitch. That's Pepper.”

He knelt down in front of her, moving with the slowest movements possible, like he was around a skittish horse. “Hi, Pepper.”

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Do you know who I am?”

She shook her head, hiding even more behind Adie.

“It's okay, baby, I won't hurt you.” He held out his hand and Pepper looked up at Adie, who nodded at her and pushed her forward slightly. She shook his hand. Twitch's lip trembled.

“Oh my God, Audrey, she looks just like you.”

Audrey was crying harder now. Adie moved over to her, causing Pepper to lose confidence. “She's got your eyes, Rev,” Adie said.

“Pepper,” he said, “I'm your daddy.”

She looked unsure. She looked to her mother, who prodded her forward with her eyes. She looked back to the Rev and slowly gave him a hug. The Rev held his daughter close and he began to cry too. He kissed her forehead and just hugged her until she pulled away. Then, he stood and turned to Audrey.

“I have a feeling they got you to come back, didn't they?”

She nodded, laughing a little.

“But the thing is that you did. You came back. But are you going to stay?”

She looked up at him. “From the looks of things, you haven't improved.”

“But I can! And I will!” He was practically begging her. “And I miss you, Audrey. And I love you. I love you so, so much.” She didn't move, she just bit her lip. “Why don't you believe me? How can I make you see? I love you, Audrey Nadine Renata Jones! Please, please, why don't you see?”

She cried. “I love you, but I can't just let Pepper grow up with you and I as her role models. Why don't you see that you just aren't fit to raise her?”

“But I can be! I was young and stupid then, Audrey! I swear, I can be her daddy. I can be the best daddy ever if you would just give me a chance.”

“I gave you a chance, Twitch. You chose partying over your daughter and me.”

“But I didn't know what I would miss.”

“What do you miss, Twitch?”

“I miss you. I miss Pepper. I miss the way I could wake up and see you right there beside me. I miss how we would fight over who would go to check on her, and always end up doing it together. I miss the way we would stay up and watch movies, just waiting for her to cry. I miss the way you would critique my music choices. I miss the way you would hum while doing the dishes when you thought I couldn't hear. I miss the way you would dream about getting a real house and having more kids. I miss you putting on makeup and arguing with me about whether or not you needed it. I miss the way you would talk to Pepper like she was a puppy or something. I miss you falling asleep on my lap. I miss you wishing on stars. I miss you, every second. I swear, Audrey, I miss everything.”

Audrey hadn't stopped crying. The Rev clasped his hands together as if he was praying. “Please, Audrey Jones, take me back.”

“You think that I'll just come back like that, and we'll be a fairy tale all over again? You think that everything you've done and that I've done can be excused and we can just pick up where we left off, pretending like nothing happened?”

“Yes, I think that we could be perfect. Because I love you, you love me, and I want to be Pepper's dad. I want you to come back and live with me. I want to be happy, and I know you do too.”

Audrey didn't say anything. She was considering the Rev's offer. Faith knew that she wanted to take his hand and come back, but she couldn't bring herself to let herself lose like that. It was the paradox again, just like Faith had herself. She couldn't win, but she couldn't let herself lose. She desperately didn't want to do back on her word. She was conflicted.

“Mama?” Pepper's little voice carried up. She was standing by the Rev, a little apart from him. “Can we stay with Papa?”

Audrey stared at her little girl, her tears starting again. Then, she turned to the Rev looked him in the eye. Then, she hugged him and said, “I have never stopped loving you. Not once.”

Then, they kissed and Adie covered Pepper's eyes. They all laughed. The Rev picked Pepper up and, truly, they looked like the motliest family Faith had ever seen, but they also looked like the happiest.

It was a bittersweet moment for Faith. She smiled and tried to be as enthusiastic as Joanna and Mary and Adie, but she was jealous of the Reverend and his family. He had dwelled on the loss of his wife and child, who were not even ten miles away from him. He had never gone to find them. He had never searched for them. He had never gone to see his child just to show her that she had a father. Faith had tried to will her parents back to life. She had hoped that someone would tell her that it was all a mistake; that it was another person's – any other person's parents that were in their place. But she had seen the bodies. She had been at the funeral. She had received the condolences. She had mourned their deaths. She had been haunted by their memory to sleeplessness. She could not reverse it, no matter how much she wanted to.

They spent time with the reformed family, talking about anything that came to mind, but eventually, they left when Pepper was starting to doze off. Mary asked, rather inconspicuously, if the Rev would be down tonight. He looked at Audrey, and gave a negative answer. Faith wasn't sure what to expect when they walked down into the Ruby Room. It was definitely going to be off tonight, she was sure, but she didn't know to what degree. It was almost ten, and it seemed like it was only opening time. There were a few people, but no one was really into it. The Downlows were onstage, but the dance floor wasn't packed like it usually was. Faith, who was now Rogue, even if she didn't exactly look it, wasn't sure if they were even in the right place. Everything seemed so dead. Then, out of nowhere, Monroe came bouncing up to them. “Hello!” She sang. She seemed rather perky, considering she didn't know anything that had happened and was probably still mad at the Rev. “Monroe?” Mary said, coming down the stairs behind Faith. “How in the name of the Reverend did you get over here alone?” “I walked. Duh.” “That far, though?” “Okay, so, maybe I borrowed some of my mom's money to get at least part of the way here. But I walked the rest of the way.” “Okay, but if she asks what's up, you better lie or I'm dead, all right?” “Mm hmm.” She looked around them. “Where's the Rev? I kind of want to say that I'm sorry.” They glanced at each other. “He's not coming down tonight.” “Why?” “Because... he doesn't feel well.” Monroe's look told them that Joanna's lie had failed. “Seriously. What happened?” “His wife and daughter came back to live with him.” Monroe hesitated, probably out of shock than having nothing to say. “He's married? Since when?” “We only just found out yesterday too.” “What made her come back?” No one wanted to tell her. No one wanted to put the blame on themselves. “We went and got her. He took care of the rest.” “You got her?” They nodded, looking ashamed of themselves for taking the Rev away from Monroe. “Why? You know that he's probably never going to come down again, right?” The thought had crossed their minds, but they didn't want to think about that. They wanted to make the Rev happy for the moment and be his heroes for however long they could. They didn't want to dwell on the fact that they would become his life again and he probably wouldn't be down a lot anymore. And, if he was, he wouldn't be the Reverend Strychnine Twitch. The frank matter of it was that they had done it selflessly, and now, they wish that they had been selfish. “We know. But he missed her. Them. And we made him happy.” “But you made us miserable. Look at this place without him. It's like a graveyard or something. We need Twitch down here.” She tried to push past them to get upstairs, but they wouldn't let her. “Leave him alone. His daughter's sleeping.” The look Monroe gave them was enough to put Medusa to shame. It made them freeze for a moment, realizing how much destruction they had caused in this girl's life. They had tried to make it better, and only made it worse. It made them sick, Faith most of all. All she had wanted to do was to escape her life for a moment and pretend to be someone else, someone who belonged here. Now, no one else would be saved on that stage. No one else would know the warmth and the joy that the Reverend Strychnine Twitch could give. No one else would know what true magnificence existed in the Ruby Room. No one else would know that it was more than a filthy bar, with sticky tables and dirty floors. No one else would stop in and be changed forever. No one else would know. And it was enough to make Faith exit, then and there, and never want to return. Faith tried so hard to sleep, but she kept seeing them, telling her all that she could have done to save them; all that she hadn't done. It made her stomach tie in knots, made her wretch, made her cry, made her regret, made her question everything. It made her question her own life. The mechanical lights flickered as she sat in the alley. She couldn't go back in, but she couldn't go back to the Plaza either. So, she sat here, blending in with the wall, trying not to cry with the burdens that she had put on herself. The rain began to fall silently, erasing all the memories of sunshine into a rush of cold and wet. She was alone now, truly alone. Faith was about to succumb to her sorrow when she heard footsteps. Several sets of footsteps. She didn't dare move, for fear of them being not-so-good company. She was right to fear that. It was Jimmy and his gang. They stopped in front of the door, not noticing her curled at the base of the brick wall. “All right, guys,” he said, “this is where we have to get him. He owes me for taking my girl. You wait out here and I'll call him out and we'll go one-on-one for a while, then you guys can help me out at the end. Just make sure you're hidden. And don't jump the gun.” “Yeah, boss,” they said in disgruntled unison. Then, they headed down the alley a way and disappeared behind a Dumpster. Jimmy went in and turned on the lights, just like last night. He was met with some more “boo”s and hissing, but not as much. Faith wasn't sure if that was because of the amount of people or the fearful memory of him from last time. He clapped once, loudly, and Faith stood silently, creeping around to the front entrance, the one no one used. She entered as quietly as she could. No one paid any attention to her; they were too focused on Jimmy. “Twitch!” He boomed. “Reverend! Where ye be, O Reverend?” His smirk was lopsided and wicked. “Twitch ain't here!” Someone called. “What? Not here?” His smirk disappeared and was replaced with a frown. “Then where the hell is he?” No one answered. Faith wasn't sure if they didn't want to tell him or if they really didn't know. There was a silence until Jimmy screamed at the top of his lungs, “TWITCH! IF YOU DON'T GET DOWN HERE, I'M GOING TO TEAR THIS PLACE APART AND YOU AFTER IT!” He knew where he was. He knew about the apartment. Slowly, the door opened and Twitch emerged, met with gasps and whispers and a few shouts. Then, Audrey came from behind. From her position across the room, Faith could see her whisper something and try to sneak back through the door, but Jimmy had already seen her. “You're back with him, Audrey?” He laughed. “What? Are you stupid? Why are you with this drunk, idiotic, broke man? Why not me?” “I don't love you!” She cried loudly, bolting up the stairs. Twitch closed the door and blocked it as Jimmy made his way over. He leaned down and got right into Twitch's face and Faith inched closer to hear. Barely, she heard him hiss, “You don't deserve her.” Twitch held his head high and said, “I know. I don't. But she wants to be with me. How can I say no?” “You say no to save your face.” There was a ripple of whispers throughout the crowd. They knew what was coming. “How about it, Twitch? You and me, mono y mono?” Twitch hesitated. He swallowed, unsure. Then, someone, who Faith was almost sure was Monroe, yelled, “Come on, Twitch, you can take him!” Yelps of agreement followed, and Twitch sighed and said, “All right.” Jimmy and Twitch made their way to the alley, and the crowd followed. Then, Faith remembered why she had come in. To warn Twitch that Jimmy's gang was waiting. But the crowd was too thick around the door. Everyone wanted to see, but no one knew that Faith needed to get out there for Twitch's sake. But no one would budge. No one wanted to give up their prime spot for the brawl. Faith gave up and ran over to the window. It was beginning. She could practically hear Twitch's heart drumming too quickly, bracing itself for the first blow. Twitch would never start a fight. But he would sure as hell end one, or go down fighting. The window wasn't one that would open, but no one else was over here. She could see them, circling each other like vultures, waiting for the other to strike. Twitch's arms were partly raised, waiting for his opponent to strike. Everyone was waiting for someone to make the first move with bated breath. When it came, it came like a hurricane. Jimmy's fist came flying at Twitch from seemingly nowhere at light speed, hitting him square in the gut. All of the Reverend's breath left him and that point, and he folded himself in half, his arms covering his abdomen. Jimmy began to laugh, and Twitch looked up at him, death boiling in his eyes. Now that someone had started it, he could finish it. He stood straight again and Jimmy laughed harder. Faith could see that the odds were not in the Reverend's favor. Jimmy was indeed much larger and much stronger. She shook her head. Why was she watching this barbaric act of violence when she should be warning the Reverend about the other four, lurking behind a Dumpster with God knows what for weapons. Faith tried again to push through the crowd. Apparently, by their shouts and cheering and booing, the fight was on. Of course, Faith couldn't see anything, but that wasn't important. “Rev!” She called, trying to elbow her way through. “Twitch! Reverend!” Some sensed her urgency and let her through, others were not as understanding. “TWITCH!” She could hear his cries of pain, but she also heard Jimmy's, but less of them. She knew that he could never win this fight. “Let me through, you morons! This is serious!” Faith burst through the crowd and into the light of a flickering street light and the brawling pair. She could barely see Twitch, but she could see his blood. She was distracted by the red from within the Reverend that she just stood there, dumbfounded, until Jimmy stood, revealing a writhing Twitch. He opened his eyes and stared at Jimmy with a look that clearly stated that he was a coward, beating on someone of lesser strength than himself. He looked to the Dumpster and smiled, waving his friends forth. Twitch saw them approaching ominously, and he looked to the doorway. He saw Faith standing there and he saw one of Jimmy's friends reach into his jacket. “Inside,” he choked out, spitting out blood on his shirt. Everyone backed up a step, but not all the way inside. “Go inside, dammit!” He cried with much more volume than Faith would've though possible for his condition. Faith froze. She heard the door close behind her. Everyone flocked to the windows to watch. The Reverend opened his mouth to say something, but Jimmy and his gang were closing in now. His eyes told her that she did not listen, that she should have listened. That she would be sorry. She backed up against the wall and made herself as small as possible, but it was no use. One of Jimmy's members had spotted her and had made his way over, grabbing her as she tried to make a break for it. He had her in headlock almost immediately, and Faith knew that nothing good could happen now. The Rev stared at her as he was shoved brutally upwards. The look was one of confusion. It ripped a hole in Faith's heart. Why hadn't she listened? Jimmy got right up in Twitch's face. “Give her back.” “She isn't mine to give,” he coughed out, trying to keep one of his teeth in his mouth. “You f*er. You took her. Stole her. So give her the hell back.” “She came... willingly. I can't force her.” “Break her damn heart.” The Rev looked at Jimmy and there was hell in his eyes. “Never.” Jimmy laughed at him and punched him in the mouth and nose area again. Twitch yelled out and it died into a low groan. Blood flooded from his nose onto his shirt, staining its pure color with sickly red. One of Jimmy's cohorts, one with tattoos plastered all over his skull, pulled out the gun from beneath his jacket and pointed it at the Reverend. “I'm gonna ask nicely, Twitch. Give. Her. Back. Please.” He spit on the Reverend's shoe. “I can't.” “The hell you can't!” “I can't, Jimmy!” He screamed, “I love her! Dammit, why is that so hard for you to get? You never loved her! She was a toy to you! Disposable! Why should it matter?! Find a new Goddamned toy, because this one is my wife!” The gun was cocked. Jimmy's smirk faltered for a moment before he whispered to his sidekick and the gun was pointed at Faith. All of a sudden, Faith didn't care if what the Rev and Audrey had was love or not. She wanted the Reverend to give him Audrey, and she wanted to crawl back to Amboy Plaza and never, ever leave. The end of this short barrel was a light, so it seemed, and Faith assumed the worst. “You f*ing coward,” the Rev spat. “Even if you shoot an innocent girl, Audrey will never be yours.” “Try me.” “You think this makes you a better man?” The Rev laughed, and his front tooth fell. “You think that by crumbling up another human life, you gets props? You're the stupidest motherf*er I've ever met, Jimmy. By far. You beat all. She's a girl.” Faith's gaze shifted from the Rev, to Jimmy, to the guy holding the gun, to down the gun itself. Tears were starting to spill over onto her cheeks. She didn't want to die now. “Call Audrey out here,” Jimmy barked to the fourth and final of the band. He nodded and ran inside, driving his way through the pit. The door creaked and closed again, and Faith saw what seemed like thousands of shining eyes, staring at her and the Rev. They waited in silence for a moment, in which Faith had the opportunity to try to compose herself. She was not going to die. The Reverend would never let her die. Oh my God, she was going to be shot because of a jealous ex-boyfriend. And she just started to sob. “Don't kill me, please, I haven't done anything...” “Shut up,” the one holding her commanded. The Reverend looked over at her. “Hush, baby girl, don' cry. Ol' Revvie won' let ya die. Never. Not in a mill'n years.” Faith just cried. “Baby girl, look a' me, now.” Faith looked up at his emerald eyes and tried to restrain her sobs for a moment. “Ya usu'lly don' even know yer own strength til ya've met adversity. Ya're meetin' yer adversity now, baby doll. An' y'all get out awl right, m'kay? I swear on my mama's grave. Y'all be fine.” The sincerity in his voice and in his face made her cry harder. She nodded at him, and then the fourth man busted through the door theatrically, holding Audrey's wrist for dear life. Jimmy turned and opened his arms, like he expected a hug from his ex-girlfriend. She looked at him like someone would sneer at an insect, only with more hatred and fire. “Audrey! How nice of you to join the party.” She held her head up and turned her gaze away. “Aw, baby, don't be like that.” He approached her. “Come on, you know you missed me.” She didn't move. Faith stared at her, wondering if her heart was pounding as hard as her own. If it was, she didn't show it one bit. She was completely cool, calm, and collected. Jimmy was getting impatient. “Audrey... you're mine. You were, are, and will be.” Audrey whipped her head to stare at him. “I wasn't, am not, and never will be.” And she spat in his face. Jimmy recoiled, collected himself, and wiped her saliva from his face. “Hand her over.” The man pushed Audrey over to Jimmy. She stumbled and he caught her, holding her by her upper arms, too tight. But she was only scared for a second. She scowled at this man and tried to squirm away, but to no avail. “Oh, baby, don't be that way.” She wriggled harder, more forcefully. Faith glanced over at the Rev. He was frozen in place. And he was about to be pushed over the edge. Jimmy grabbed Audrey's face and held it still while he kissed her forcibly and mockingly. It was as if he was taunting Twitch, asking him what he would do to stop him. But Audrey could take care of herself. She bit his tongue. Hard. Jimmy recoiled yet again and Audrey took this chance to ram her shoulder into the man holding the gun, aimed at Faith. As she did, it fired twice, narrowly missing her and shooting the brick behind them. The one holding Faith jumped back and she stumbled blindly into the one holding Twitch. She didn't knock him over, but she did distract him. Enough so that Twitch could make his escape by kicking this man where the sun didn't shine. The door opened and people poured out, joining in the fight. They drove out the gang quickly, Jimmy running off with his tail between his legs. Faith scanned the area and found Twitch and Audrey hugging and asking about injuries. Faith was sure that the Reverend's nose and possibly even his jaw were broken. The blood flow has stopped, but it was caked on his face. But he was okay. She made her way over to them, and the Reverend hugged her as well. “You were brave, baby girl.” She felt Audrey's embrace around her as well. It was a protective one; a strong, caring one. “Are you all right?” Faith nodded, burying her face in the Reverend's shoulder as she began to cry again. “I'm so sorry. I was stupid. I should've listened. I'm sorry...” “Hush, Faith. You did nothing wrong.” Faith only cried more. She couldn't see a thing, but she knew that they were heading back inside the Ruby Room, a place that she thought, just maybe a half-hour before, that she would never come back to, yet was returning so soon, welcoming it like an old friend. Audrey and Faith escorted the Reverend over to the bar. The crowd split down the middle, creating a path for them, staring at his rapidly swelling nose. Faith sat next to him as Audrey put some ice in a rag. “This feeling familiar, Audrey?” He smiled, the hole in his mouth showing. Audrey laughed a little as she passed him the rag. He gently positioned it on his nose and winced. “You're probably going to have a black eye or two, too, Twitch,” she said as she fished around below the bar, bringing back a bottle of pills and heading to the other end and filling a glass with water. Faith assumed that those were pain relievers. The Rev swallowed two and awkwardly drank the water down. “It won't be the first time,” he said sarcastically. He smiled again and Faith couldn't help but smile at his missing tooth. “What?” he asked, oblivious. He ran his tongue over his teeth and found the gap. “Mother Mary! What?” “Don't have a panic attack. It's nothing.” Audrey tried to keep him still and press the ice to his nose. Faith hadn't noticed before, but Mary and Joanna had made their way over and were standing behind her. “Is it broken?” “Probably. Is it crooked?” He removed the ice. It was. “Yeah.” “Then, I'm going to say yes.” He put the ice back on. Faith peered around Joanna and saw Monroe standing there, looking ashamed. Rev noticed her too. “Baby girl, come on o'er here.” He waved her over and she wiped her eyes and came. He wrapped his arm around her. “Ya did nothin' wrong.” “Yeah, but... you almost died. Faith almost died. And I told you to go for it.” “Naw, baby girl. Either way, I woulda been out there. He wa'n't 'bout to take no for a answer. Hush, now.” He set down the ice and hugged her as she let go of her guilt. “Ya're fine.”

Twitch and Audrey, much to the disappointment of the crowd that had gathered, retired again to the apartment upstairs. Faith bid Karma, Roxelle, and Monroe a goodbye and left, going back to the Amboy Plaza, wondering how much things could really change when the Reverend and all of his answers were still around.

The elevator awaited, and her buzz was beginning to wear off. She tried to keep herself calm as she sauntered down the hallway, hoping that Will hadn't gone in yet.

The room was dark and empty. The blanket was still laying in a heap beside the bed. She went over and picked it up, spreading it over the mattress. It smelled like the Reverend. She shook herself and tried to recount all the reasons that it was wrong to think that.

Instead, she just recalled the slick barrel of that pistol and the light glinting at the end of it. How she had be shaken, rocked, terrified. What had that meant? Did Twitch and Audrey change the course of her life, just by being there? Was she supposed to die then and there before they saved her?

She was letting her imagination get the better of her. There had been no light inside that gun. She was just in shock.

Faith crawled into her bed, trying not to think, but inevitably thinking only more. It was unusual, how the human mind operated even when you thought like it shouldn't. The body kept right on living, even if you didn't want to. Even if you thought that life should stop still, right then and there, if just kept chugging along, not waiting up, because it didn't have time for such nonsense. So you could either jump on board or stay still.


It seemed like they walked in this room, watching her. Like they were asking why she was here and not at their home. They were restless, therefore Faith was restless. She buried herself in her thoughts, trying to block them out, but they were persistent.

“Faith, you loved us, but you let us go. Why did you let us go?”

“I didn't!” She cried, trying to ignore them but failing. “He made me.”

“You don't have to forget us, Faith...”

“I can't.”

“Don't.”

“I won't.”



Faith gasped and sat upright. Her stomach churned and she stumbled in the dark to the bathroom, where she threw up into the toilet. She recalled the times when she had done this and her mother would hold her hair back and rub her back. Will was sleeping at four in the morning. He wouldn't come in to help her.

She dry heaved a little more; her stomach hadn't been that full to begin with. Faith leaned her head against the cool porcelain and tried to catch her breath. It must have been the shock from being held at gunpoint mixed with the recollection of her parents' deaths. They had waltzed inside her brain and had accidentally spun down into her stomach.

When she was sure she was finished, she brushed her teeth and flipped absently through the cable channels, stopping and staring intently when she came to the news.

“...down on Fourteenth Street, last night around eleven o'clock, two gunshots were fired here, in an alley between the Ruby Room, an old bar, and an apartment complex. A woman living in the apartment, Yvonne Roland, says the shots woke her up and she looked down below to see a fight brewing outside the Ruby Room. Ms. Roland claims to have seen two adults and a teenager being harassed by a gang. By her description, police believe that the two adults are Audrey Jones and a man only known by his pseudonym, Reverend Strychnine Twitch, her husband who live above the Ruby Room. The identity of the teenager is still unknown, but she was seen by Ms. Roland going into the bar. She says that she saw a lot of people under the age of twenty-one going into the bar that evening, including one who appeared to be around thirteen years old, she claims. The gang members are thought to be James Weber, Christopher Truman, Nathan Montgomery, Zeke Walden, and Elliott Bingham. Truman has already turned himself in, the other four are still up in the air. Reporting live from outside the Ruby Room...”

Faith turned it off. They know that teenagers were in the bar. They don't care if they weren't getting alcohol. They were in the bar. That's all that mattered to the police.

Now, things were bad. They were going to close down the Ruby Room for sure. Faith couldn't let that happen.

She was putting on her jacket to leave when Will walked through the door, stubble on his chin and coffee cup in his hand.

“Did you sleep?”

“Yes,” she responded. “For a while.”

He nodded. “Good. Where are you off to?”

“Probably to the park.”

Faith hoped that her brother bought the lie.

“All right then.” He held the door open for her. She walked out past him, into the hallway. She hoped that he would let her walk.

The elevator was filled with a stark silence. It wasn't an awkward one. Neither wanted to talk, so it was an appreciative silence. The ping startled Faith when they landed in the lobby. Will smirked at her, and it sort of reminded Faith of Jimmy's smirk, but without the malice.

“You want a ride?”

“Hmm?” Faith looked up at him. “Oh, no, thanks, I'd rather walk.”

He shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

Faith turned to the left when they got outside, the opposite way she wanted to go, but the way Will expected her to go. She waited for his car to go past and speed around the corner before running in the other direction.


The news vans were all scattered around Ruby, choking her to death, so Faith had to pull her hood up and sneak in the front entrance. Once she was in, she ran right into Twitch.

“Rev!”

“Faith? What are you doing here? How did they not see you?”

“I'm pretty average as far as looks go. Generic. So, you know, I'm hard to pick out.”

Twitch laughed halfheartedly. “No, you're not.”

Faith ignored him and looked around. Everyone was moving at a slower speed, looking defeated.

“What's wrong?”

“Well, I don't know if you heard, but they saw a bunch of you minors coming in after the fight and now they're going to shut us down.”

“But you weren't doing anything wrong! We didn't have alcohol or drugs or anything!”

“Don't matter. They saw what they saw. Like I said before, they'll brainwash you out there. Automatically, anyone under the age of twenty-one or, God forbid, eighteen going into a bar is a troublemaker, a delinquent, bad. Which is not true. Besides, Ruby isn't even really a bar. It's more of a...” He fumbled over his tongue and tried to find the right word.

“A release?”

“Yeah. Not one of those teens come here for the booze. Not a one. Everyone comes because they know that the people here don't care if you're on probation or smoke dope or spend all day tucked inside a hotel room. They just want to have fun and be people. And, for God's sake, why is that so freaking wrong? People need to go outside and take a giant sniff because what they've been breathing all that time wasn't real. They need to do something, Goddammit, and do it soon, because the man's on our asses now, trying to tell us to go back to our houses and rot away and do it the way everyone else is. Well, I won't. I refuse. You won't either, will you?”

“No.” Right away, that's what came out of her mouth, for the Rev's sake. But she knew that that was what she wanted too. She couldn't just go back to sulking and brooding and wallowing and crying and not sleeping after this. Things had spun around and it was as if she had seen the light. Nothing would keep her away from Ruby and Twitch and Roxelle and Karma and Monroe. Absolutely nothing.

“That's my girl.” The Rev slung his arm around her neck. Faith noticed how crooked his nose was. The swelling was gone and dark bruises had formed under his eyes. The gap between his teeth seemed to have gotten bigger, if that was even possible. He looked like a mess, but spoke like he didn't notice any flaws at all.

“So, what're we going to do?”

“That's where you have me. Technically, they haven't done anything and if we speak out, they'll just twist it around so that we have no idea what we said. No. I think we should just plaster a sign to the bar that says 'ADULTS ONLY' and be done with it.”

“You're not serious, are you? Do you know how they'll take that? It's like you're succumbing to the man or something. No, that's not what you want to do.”

“I have nothing else, Faith. I really have no idea what the hell to do. We can't just throw out our drinks. The adults want that.”

Faith snapped her fingers. “Or we could do it old school.”

“Old school?” Twitch's eyebrow perked up at the words. “How so, Faith? Do tell.”

“You know how, in World War II, Hitler and the United States and other countries used propaganda posters to get people to share their opinion? Well, how about we do that? Make our own propaganda. Tell people our story, not just the cops' version.”

“I'm liking it so far. What would they say?”

“Something catchy. 'We obey not to obey' at the top and 'because we don't drink in the Ruby Room' at the bottom with someone like Joanna in the middle. Bold and eye-catching. 'We are only here for the fun.' 'No, thanks, I'm not thirsty.' 'I came for the atmosphere, not the alcohol.'”

“I'm digging the last one.”

“Thanks. We could just get a load of Ruby employees to help us and we can get them done proto and copy them. No sweat.”

Twitch stopped and hugged Faith and spun her around. “Faith! What the hell would I do without you?”

She smiled. “I have absolutely no idea.”


As it turned out, there were many fantastic artists working in the Ruby Room. They brought in some of the frequenting minors, but Monroe was posing as the main model, being the youngest and all. Faith's favorite was when she held up a piece of cardboard like a mugshot that said “I didn't do anything.” Then, at the bottom of the poster, they stamped in big red letters: SAVE THE TEENAGE REFUGE!

This rebellion was enough to make Faith's head spin. Not so long ago, she had been stowed away nine stories in the air, dying a little every day. Now, she felt life simmer through her veins. It was invigorating and intoxicating. It made her feel like she was important.

They did a mock one of Twitch that he could put in his room. It was him with a beer bottle, looking extremely drunk. On the bottom, they had stamped: ALL ALCOHOL IN RUBY IS PROPERTY OF THE REVEREND STRYCHNINE TWITCH.

Pepper and Audrey came down every so often to peek. Twitch would point out words to Pepper and she would read them with ease. Faith forgot that she was nine because of her size. She looked like she was only six. She was short and skinny and childlike to the extreme. Faith had overheard Twitch and Audrey talking about teaching her how to play an instrument, most likely guitar so that Twitch could teach her himself. She hadn't known that Twitch could play the guitar. And it shocked her that someone Pepper's size would be able to comprehend guitar. But then she remembered that Pepper was almost a decade old. It mystified her, baffled her, and confused her.

But that was what life did. It made things so impossible, then it made things so irresistible. Then it changed it all up again so that you were dizzy.

And, right now, Faith's head was spinning.


Someone who worked at Ruby and controlled the inner workings of her took home all the posters and came back the next day with many, many copies. Faith wasn't sure how many, seeing as how she came around eleven with Joanna only that day and she was told that half were already taken and hung up around the city in various places.

Zane, or John, rather, was picking up stacks about two inches thick and handing them off to the incoming groups. Every few minutes, a new group came in. The Reverend was nowhere to be found.

Faith approached the piles and looked at them. They looked great. Bright colors, great expression, bold words. She loved them. They really showed everyone's passion for the Ruby Room.

The news was on in the background, on a small television on the bar. It must spend its night under the bar, she knew, because she had never seen it before. She expected that they had dropped the story due to lack of interest, but there were snippets of interviews by worried mothers. One of them happened to be Mary's mother, with Mary in tow.

“Mrs. Dewitt, can you tell us what you think about the Ruby Room.”

“I certainly can. My daughter, Mary, has been going there on a nightly basis without my permission. She is only nineteen. She doesn't plan on going to college and doesn't have a steady job. I can't care for her forever...”

As her mother droned on, Mary sat next to her, hunched over, staring at her hands. Faith couldn't tell what her emotions were until she looked up, her face set.

“Stop.”

Both the interviewer and her mother turned and looked at her.

“Mom, I don't know if you ever noticed, but since I've been going to the Ruby Room, I'm happier. Ruby makes me happy, Mom. The Reverend makes me happy. I've made friends there, and they make me happy. Joanna goes too. We go together. And don't think that I'm the only one to blame here. I'm not the one who pushes myself to do everything you didn't get to. I'm not you, and I will never be.”

“Mary!”

“No! I'm not Mary. My name is Roxelle. And I'm in love with Joanna, and the Ruby Room.”

With that, she stood and left the set, pushing around the crew to leave. Faith saw her mother's mouth hanging open in shock. But what she noticed more was the fact that she didn't go after her daughter. She smoothed out her hair and took a breath and turned to the interviewer again.

Faith was appalled. She left the television then, and saw Joanna helping Zane pass out the posters to a large group. She made her way over and began to help too, until they all had a stack.

“So...” she began.

“I could hear her from here,” Joanna said, not looking at her as she straightened the piles.

“I just... I never knew.”

“Well, now you do.” She turned to face her, leaning on the posters slightly. “And I never asked for your opinion.”

“I'm fine with it, I just... didn't expect it.”

“How could you not?”

“I'm sort of sheltered.”

“Correction: you were very sheltered. But now, you're not. And it's just the way we are.”

Faith was worried that she had damaged her relationship with Joanna by bringing it up at all. “Well, I hope you guys are happy together.”

“We are, so far. We get each other. It's nice. Satisfying. Gives me hope in humanity.”

Faith had nothing more to say to her, and another group was coming in, along with Roxelle. Joanna and Faith passed out posters as she made her way over them.

“How'd you get here so fast?”

“What? You don't think I can drive or what?”

“No, I didn't think you had a car.”

“I don't. But I know how to hot wire my mom's.”

Before they could talk more, Pepper came galloping down the through the door with a rolled up sheet of paper. She ran up to Faith, Joanna, and Roxelle and unrolled it. It showed a picture of what appeared to be the girls, her parents, and herself in front of the Ruby Room. It was cute, really.

“That's nice. I like it. You did an excellent job on this.”

The Reverend came down the stairs after her. “Baby, you can't just run down here and–” He stopped when he saw Roxelle. “Mary, I saw–”

She held up her hand. “It's Roxelle now, Rev.”

He smiled. “Roxelle, yeah, I saw that. You know how to knock 'em down.”

She laughed and nodded. “Absolutely. But... now I have nowhere to stay and neither does Joanna. We're sort of screwed.”

“I'll tell you what – I'll check with Audrey and see if you guys can sleep upstairs for a while.”

Roxelle's smile spread wider and she hugged the Rev. “Thank you so much, Rev. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”


Later, when the groups were going farther and farther away to hang up the posters, Faith had settled into a chair at the bar and was watching the Rev hand his daughter a guitar that was clearly too big for her. He let her play for a little bit, without guidance, then placed her fingers in a triangle position. Her small fingers pressed down and he showed her which strings to play and a slightly-muted, yet still pure, D chord rang out. She smiled at him and asked, “Did I do it right, Papa?” He nodded and showed her another one.

“Daddy! Watch me!”

The white house loomed above her as practically everything did at her height. She looked to her father, sitting on the back deck, reading a book, waiting for him to look up. When he did, she swung one last time and jumped from the swing, landing with a crouch, then straightening herself and holding her arms up high.

“Be careful, Faith.”

“I am. Did you see?”

“Yes, I saw. Don't do that again, okay?”

She lowered her arms. “Okay, Daddy.” She didn't understand. Wouldn't he be impressed? Will said that it made her look tough when she did that, like the daredevils in cartoons. She marched up the porch steps and asked her father, “May I go paint?”

“Of course, love.”

She smiled and hurried inside, tearing off her shoes and rushing to the studio, where her mother was. She burst through the door and ran to her little corner of the room, where her easel sat, waiting to be finished.

“Hi, Mommy.”

“Hey, sweetie.” She was on the other side of the room, her hair tied back and her smock on, smudged with so many layers of color that you couldn't tell what its original hue was. “Are you going to finish today, you think?”

“I want to,” she said as she gathered her paints and brushes. She put her apron on around her neck and had her mother tie it for her in the back. Then, she headed back to her painting. It was with watercolors, and her mother had taught her how to make it run with a spray bottle. Her mother had suggested that she paint a sunset, like they had seen on their vacation to Martha's Vineyard, so she had begun to paint it, with radiant yellows, oranges, pinks, red, and a blue-green for the water. They ran together well, but she was not satisfied with it yet. The pinks weren't visible enough and they weren't blending enough with the blue.

So, she began to paint slowly. She had more patience than most children her age. She wanted things to be perfect, so she took her time.

They painted in silence, but every so often, Faith would peek over at her mother and giggle because she had green paint on her forehead. Her smooth blonde hair streamed from the back of her head like a waterfall of sunlight. Often, Faith wished she looked more like her mother instead of her father. But both she and Will had inherited the their father's hair and eye color, but their mother's straight hair. Will had received his father's calm and determined demeanor, but Faith had gotten her mother's independence and artistic ability.

“You about done, Faith? I'm almost ready to close up shop.”

Faith stood back from her painting and saw the pinks and the yellows and the reds in the sky bleed into the blues and the greens in the water. She was happy with it.

“I'm done! Look, look, look!”

Her mother came over after setting down her brush. She grasped Faith's shoulders. “Oh, sweetie, that's amazing!”

“Do you like it, Mommy?”

“I love it! When it dries, sign your name at the bottom and the year and we'll hang it up, okay?”

Faith smiled. “By your stuff?”

“Right beside mine. Forever and ever.”


Faith opened her eyes and took a deep breath. She needed to stop thinking about them; about before. But how could she? Those many years of her life were memories that could surface at any time. They were always going to be there, never leaving. She stood, noticed how few of the posters there were left, and turned to the news again.

“A lot of you are anxious to hear about the status of the Ruby Room, and we're here to report that there is an update from the patrons of the bar. They have hung up posters around the city.” She held up one of the posters, one with Monroe on the front. “This is the thirteen-year-old patron, whose identity is Macy Rinehart, we now know. We have tried to contact her, but we have received no answer. We did ask the chief of police about this, and he said that he expects a protest rally of some sort. If it comes to that, we'll be there, keeping you updated.”

Faith couldn't help but smile at them. Of course there would be a protest rally. And she had a feeling that no mothers would be there. But she knew that the Ruby Room wouldn't be the only ones there. There had to be supporters out there, somewhere. Someone who knew that they were fighting for the right to be free, not drunk.



Once the posters had time to sink in, Roxelle decided it was time to do a protest. First march downtown to the park, then rally with speeches and music. The Rev agreed, excited, and told everyone, every night when he went on with his band. They decided to do it on Sunday, when no one had any obligations, and it was set in stone.

But Faith was nervous.

Will did not work on weekends. She could easily lie, but this would most likely make it to the news somehow. Will would know now, once and for all, where she had been sneaking off too. Was marching for an old bar worth betraying her brother like that?

Yes.

Oh yes.

What had been done had been done, and she couldn't just undo everything and go back. She would fight for Ruby, to Will's knowledge or not.

Many had picket signs.

“WE DRANK NONE!”

“WE ARE BROKEN, NOT DRUNK!”

“I ONLY CAME FOR THE REV FUN!”

“RUBY IS A RELEASE, NOT A BAR!”

Faith stared back at them all. They weren't all regulars, most she had never seen before, but they were all united by the one idea, a spark of an idea, that everyone could be accepted and not judged in the Ruby Room. She saw a section of punks in there, one that were from the underground scene. She would never have had the opportunity to meet them if it wasn't for this. They were nice. She had asked if they wanted posters, and they had gratefully taken some. She had thanked them for coming and they told her that they were here because they knew that something like this would happen eventually, and they wanted to be a part of it.

She stood up here now, ready to help lead the enormous pack, standing by the Reverend, Roxelle, Joanna, and Monroe. She insisted everyone called her Monroe now. Her mother had gone to work after grounding her severely, but she had snuck out again with Joanna and Roxelle's help. She told them that her dad wouldn't even notice.

“Mary, come out tonight...”

The Reverend was singing to himself as he stepped forward, pulling everyone along with him. He kissed his agate-studded cross and began to march along the boulevard, the mass following behind him, shouting so everyone would hear them.


Faith kept up easily, not shouting, not holding a poster, just marching. Roxelle was screeching at the top of her lungs, “We will not be silenced!” while Joanna marched next to her, her face set, her eyes smoldering.

It wasn't exactly a long walk to the park. It was the walk to Amboy doubled. Faith didn't want to pass her hotel. Will might be looking out a window or something if he wasn't watching the news. Maybe he was standing the lobby, waiting for her to come by, because he already saw. The news people were crawling all over, pointing cameras in their faces, yelling words into microphones so that they could be heard over shouting. Many flipped off the crew, and many others booed at them. Every so often, Faith would look at the Rev, but he was just standing up there, singing to himself and marching along. Then she would look ahead and see Amboy looming in the distance, ever closer, and she would swallow.

They came closer and closer, and people were starting to get louder, because now, people were around. Real people, standing in front of buildings, watching.

Including Will.

He stood there with Renee, watching the protest go past, his eyes locked on Faith. She looked at him for less than a second, but that's all it took. She moved over toward the Rev and took his hand, beginning to cry in silence.

“Hush, baby girl. Be stron'. He don' get wha' this means ta ya.”

She nodded and looked again.

Will was angry. Hurt.

It ripped her apart.

But she kept going.

This was what a protest was supposed to feel like. It was supposed to make you feel like an outcast, like you had nothing but whatever you were fighting for. It was supposed to cut you deep. It was supposed to ache and burn and fester. But you would always keep marching on, because, if you didn't, you let the other ones win, the ones who wanted to crush you, who didn't feel your pain sympathetically, but joyfully. The ones that wanted to see you succumb to the crying.

Faith would not succumb.

She would never stop.

She cried on, marching still, with her hand in the Rev's and her head held high. She could feel eyes, thousands maybe, trained on her face, but she didn't care anymore. She was fighting for the Ruby Room, not only for herself, but for all of the people behind her.

And she would not give up.



The park was filled. Apparently, Twitch had sent out more of the Ruby-goers to the park to set up some sort of makeshift stage. One was setting up a mic and as they crossed onto the park and he called, “Strychnine!”

Twitch looked up. “Not just 'strychnine', that's poison.”

That comment totally ruined the somber atmosphere of the protest. Everyone scattered around the stage, trying to get a great spot to see whoever was going to be onstage. Faith wasn't sure what to do when she found herself without Twitch. He seemed to just disappear into thin air. But she only panicked for a moment, because Monroe, Joanna, and Roxelle were sitting down beneath a tree, waiting for the speeches and the music to begin. She snaked in between groups and made her way over to them.

“Who do you think is going to speak first?” Monroe asked as soon as Faith sat down.

“Twitch might. That, or he'll go last. Big entrances or grand exits. That's the way it is,” Roxelle said. Faith couldn't help but notice that she and Joanna were holding hands. She smiled to herself; it was cute.

“Do you think Audrey will bring Pepper?”

“I... don't know. We're being peaceful. I can't imagine that they'd do anything to us.”

“Unless someone does something stupid and ruins it.”

“Well, there's always the bad egg. But I highly doubt that they'd risk everything we've worked for to punch some cop's face in.”

Some of the punks walked by then, one stopping directly behind Faith.

“You guys think we could sit with you?”

They all smiled and moved to make the circle larger. There were only three out of the original group that Faith had given posters too, and it appeared that one still had his.

“I'm Braden,” the one farthest from Faith, but closest to Monroe said. He appeared to be about fifteen, if that, had green hair, crooked teeth, and was wearing a jacket, despite the warm weather.

“I'm Jayce,” said the one in the middle, who appeared to be the oldest at around nineteen or twenty. His body was littered with tattoos and piercings, but his eyes had a distinct sparkle that made him seem like he was a nice person underneath what was the stereotype for a drug-addicted ass.

“And I'm Dmitri,” said the third and final boy, sitting next to Faith. The one with the poster, who stood directly behind her. He looked at her when he said it. His eyes were a distinct light brown color, with flecks of gold around the pupil; his hair was a dark brown, almost black color. He didn't look like he had much money, but he looked happy enough. He couldn't be older than seventeen. She liked his voice, pure and sweet and untouched. It was a good voice. She wondered if he sang.

“I'm Monroe.” She gave a small wave and a smile. Then she looked to Joanna and Roxelle, who introduced themselves as such, then to Faith, who said simply, “I'm Faith, or Rogue, if you're in Ruby during hours.”

A light breeze rustled through the trees, carrying laughter and the sound of guitars being tuned. The boys blended well with the girls. They found out that the boys were from a music club downtown called Walkover, where local bands came to perform and sell their indie CD’s. Then, they sort of split off into three different groups; Braden and Monroe were sitting on the roots of the tree, Jayce, Roxelle, and Joanna were laying out on the grass a few feet away, and Dmitri and Faith stayed in the setting sunlight, talking in soft, quiet, smitten voices as the drums and speakers were set up and a sign plastered up behind the stage that read it graffiti-like lettering: SAVE THE RUBY ROOM!

Dmitri was telling her that he was trying to start his own band, that he played guitar and did, in fact, sing when John walked onstage, and the hum of voices turned to a hushed tone, then to almost silence.

“Hi everyone. My name is John, and I've been going to the Ruby Room for over three years now. But I've always been of-age. I was raised to believe that children and bars were never in the same sentence, let alone clashing in real life. But I've had the amazing opportunity to meet and even come to know some of these younger people that come to Ruby, and I can tell you that they are not drunks. Most want nothing to do with the stuff. And the things that they have been through... I swear, pick almost anyone and they'll give you the most heart-wrenching story that you have ever heard. It's awful. I didn't know that people this young could go through so much pain. I'm shocked that half haven't killed themselves. But I think that that's Ruby's doing. Ruby gave them a place where they could go to forget their lives for a moment and just be happy kids without care again. It wasn't for the alcohol. Even I didn't go for that. I went for the reason almost everyone did. To forget.” He hesitated for a moment, before pulling a folded piece of paper from his pocket. Faith recognized it as the paper he had given to her to read that night in the Ruby Room.

Dalaeni's suicide note.

“My girlfriend committed suicide because I spent so much time in the Ruby Room, but she loved me too much to leave me. I was in the Ruby Room when she did it. I came back, and there she was, dead.” He swallowed. “I couldn't go in. I couldn't call the cops. I couldn't do anything except turn around and go right on back, because I needed Ruby, then and there. I went back and I just sat in the club and drank up all the energy and I felt better about it. I realized that her death was not my fault. That I was not guilty. If it weren't for Ruby, I would probably be dead as well, so for that, I owe her everything, and I don't know what I would do if she was gone.”

Before he walked offstage, everyone began to clap at his story. It was a shocked, but appreciative applause. Faith knew his story, but it was even harder to hear it a second time.

“Whoa. That's awful,” Dmitri said as another speaker made their way onstage. Their story was good, but Faith had a feeling that they would hear others similar to it in a bit.

“Yeah. I remember that day. I read the note. It was terrible.” Faith took a breath and tried not to cry yet. She couldn't do that around his boy, this boy who was so kind and accepting of her.

But, instead of shying away from her emotion, he put his arm around her and rubbed her arm. “It's okay. He's fine, and that's what matters. You helped him, right?”

She nodded, trying hard not to cry as more speeches went by. Then, a band came onstage and some people were getting up to get closer to the stage and dance.

“Would you like to dance with me, Faith?”

“I don't know how to dance.”

“Then I'll show you.”

“I can't.”

“Everyone can. Come on.”

He took her hand and pulled her to her feet and over to the area in front of the haphazard stage. She didn't protest, she didn't fight him. Maybe his is what she needed to do.

She stood by Dmitri as the band, who she thought were called Corporate Park, and tried to get into the rhythm of the moving bodies. He took her hand and they began to clash with everyone else along to the music, so much so that Faith had to concentrate on not falling over so much that she forgot about John. All she could feel was the relief. The fact that she could just go crazy and still have Dmitri's hand.

The song built up steadily, then dropped suddenly. The dancing stopped and cheering took its place. Faith and Dmitri emerged from the crowd, out of breath. Faith was happy again, all because of this boy. This wonderful boy that she was lucky to have met at all.

A hand was on her shoulder, tight and warm. She spun, surprised.

“Will!”

Will stood behind her, suddenly much taller, older, and stronger than he had seemed before. Faith looked from Dmitri to Will and was at a loss for words.

“Who're you?” He spat at Dmitri.

“This is...”

“Are you the one she's been sneaking out to see?”

Dmitri stuttered. “No, sir, I...”

“Will! Stop it. I just met him. He's got nothing to do with this.”

“Eve'ythin' awl righ' over here?” A familiar voice said.

Faith turned in relief again to see the Reverend, holding Pepper's hand.

“Who's this?”

“I'm the Reverend Strychnine Twitch.” He extended his hand that wasn't attached to his daughter, but Will refused it.

“I'm Will Crosse, Faith's brother.”

The Rev's hand clenched into a fist as he withdrew it. His accent disappeared. “I see. And you're joining us for the rally?” He was being monstrously optimistic considering the case.

“No. I'm here to ask who is responsible for my little sister going into bars at night without my permission!” He calmed himself. “And, I believe I just found the man responsible.”

Audrey came up behind him then, and asked, “What's going on?”

Twitch merely told Pepper to go with Audrey and waved her off. “I'll handle it,” he said.

Faith didn't think that Will would honestly do anything violent. He was better at fighting with words. He would twist you around until you were agreeing with him, then spit you back out and grill you again.

“Will, really, maybe you should–”

“Shut up, Faith. You never told me about any of this, so you can just do everyone a favor and stay quiet while I find out what the hell you've been doing behind my back.”

Faith wanted to argue further, but Dmitri pulled her out from in the middle of the two men and held her off to the side as they watched as the disagreement unfolded.

“You're the one my little sister has been sneaking out to see?”

“No, not exactly. She's been sneaking out to come to the Ruby Room, not for me. I see her, yeah, but she's there for Ruby, not me.”

“The Ruby Room is a bar, yes?”

“Again, not exactly. We do have alcohol, but we don't give it out to anyone underage. Most people come here to–”

“Feel better, yeah, I saw that. But you do know that you have a lot of people fighting against you to get the Ruby Room shut down, right?”

“Yes, Will, I do.”

“And you do know that manipulating my sister when she's so vulnerable is not a good idea, right?”

The Reverend was being uncharacteristically patient. Faith was worried. How much longer could he keep this up? “Will, I think you may be a little mistaken there...”

“I'm not mistaken! My sister is fragile! She can't cope with our parents' deaths! She doesn't even know what really happened!”

Will immediately bit his tongue.

Faith whirled.

“What?”

Will sighed. “Nothing, Faith, get back.”

Dmitri let her go and she pushed forward. “What happened to Mom and Dad?”

Will spun. “Go. Back. Let me handle this.”

“No. Please. Do tell. What is your story? What did you see that night?”

Will's eyes were dark.

“William!”

Her mother's voice was shrill and demanding. Faith hated hearing her speak like that. She knew, by the tone of her mother's voice, that she was looking for her father, not her brother.

They were out on the front lawn, watching the Fourth of July fireworks boom overhead. Faith was leaning on her father's shoulder with a jar of fireflies in her hands. She watched them flit back and fourth, looking for the nonexistent exit. She wanted to let them go, but Will had caught them, not her.

Her father looked at the door to the house, standing open, her mother standing behind the screen. “William!” She called again, her arms crossed, her hair a mess.

“I'll be right back, love.”


Faith took her jar and stood there, watching him go toward the house.

A large firework boomed above her, and she ducked while Will laughed at her from across the yard.

“You're scared of noise!” He taunted.

“No, I'm not!”

“Yeah, you are!”

Another loud firework went off, and she covered her ears tightly.

He laughed some more. “Faith's scared of fireworks! Faith's scared of fireworks!”

Before she could start crying, she followed her parents inside.

“Mom?” She whispered. She could hear the movement above, and yelling, but she didn't want to raise her voice in volume any more. She crept up the stairs cautiously, trying not to make any noise.

“...can't tolerate your lack of respect...”

“...obsession with your work...”

“...not caring about my passion...”

“...not caring about your children...”

“...our children.”

She could see a sliver of light coming from beneath the door of her parents room. She stood in the doorway of the room across the hall, watching the shadows play in the light when they walked past. Loud booms were coming from outside as the fireworks raged on.

“William, I can't just stand your uptight attitude anymore. It's giving me migraines.”

“Oh, I'm sorry. Is that what you've been raving on about for the last two months? Am I the cause of your artist's block? Is that it? That's the reason you're leaving me with your kids, because I'm blocking your inspiration or something?”

“Do you not understand how big of a deal this is? This is my life, right here!”

“It's a damn hobby. You make no money. I pull the weight. Where would you be without me? Think, Lily, think, where would you be? You'd be in New York, living with strange guys who don't like you because of your art abilities. Where would you be if I hadn't been in town and merciful enough to pull over and give you a ride to a shelter, but insisting you stay with me?”

She heard her mother scoff. “I'd probably be a hell of a lot happier.”

Faith heard something like a thud and her mother gasping. “Listen to me, Lily, you need me. You can't just leave. What about them? What will I do with them?”

“Do with them? They're your children too, William. If you hurt them, I swear to fucking God you'll regret it. You hurt my babies, I'll kill you.”

“Then take them.”

“I can't. Not where I'm going. I can't uproot them like that just because I want to. I can't take everything with me.”

“Why leave, then? You know you'll miss them.”

“Stop trying to change my mind! I'm going. I'll come back and get them someday, and then you can be a bitter old man like you always knew you would be.”

The door opened and Faith slid back into the room so they wouldn't see. She was young, but she was not stupid. Her mother came out with a suitcase in tow, her father right behind.

“I'll tell them you didn't want them!”

“They would never believe that! They're smart kids.”

“I'll tell them you loved your work more than them!”

“They know that I work hard, but they know I love them. None of that s*** will work, Will.”

“I'll tell them the truth.”

“Good. They deserve it.”

They were heading down the stairs. Faith tiptoed after them. They didn't notice.

“You can't just leave on me! What am I supposed to do?”

“Sleep, breathe, eat. Help them. I'll come back for them soon.”

She was out the door. Her father followed her, and Faith slipped out the door behind them. Her brother was enthralled with the fireworks, not noticing the scene unfolding before him.

Their words were incoherent. Faith saw her father push her mother into the street as he closed in on her. The finale was beginning. She wasn't sure what to focus on. People were beginning to leave. There was so much sound, so much noise. It was entirely too loud. She could barely see her parents in the street. Throngs of people were pushing and shoving every which way. Then, all that she heard and saw was that car horn and people scattering and that large SUV coming out of nowhere and hitting them and several others, just plowing over them as if it had no brakes.

“Mom! Dad!” She screamed at the top of her lungs as she crumpled to the ground. The last of the fireworks went off, and Will rushed over and saw the scene now. Faith crawled away to the blanket they were just sitting on and grabbed the jar and twisted the lid off. The fireflies flew off, leaving her clutching to the final moments when everything was fine.

“I know exactly what happened,” she said. “You don't have to tell me.”

“Faith, you were young...”

“I was eleven. I know what happened. I know more than you. She was leaving us with him. He didn't want us.”

“That's stupid. I've told you so many times that that's a lie.”

“Just because he liked you better doesn't mean that you can defend him. He wanted her to take us with her.”

“Faith, we're in the middle of a park, and you want to bring this up?”

“Yes. Mom would have. And besides, what do you care? It was fine until everyone was looking at you for the wrong reasons.”

“You're siding with her, aren't you? So I can't defend Dad, but you can fend for Mom? How is that even the slightest bit fair?”

“I'm not defending her. I hate her for what she did, and I hate him too. All I was saying was Mom would've done the same thing I am. I'm not playing anymore. I'm not going to pretend that your carelessness doesn't bother me. I'm not going to pretend that Renee is my friend. I'm not going to pretend that you matter more to me than the Rev does. I'm not going to pretend I'm not broken, every single day that you don't notice I'm gone. Because I am! I'm so broken! I'm sick, Will! I need therapy! Why don't you see? I'm right here, so why don't you see?”

Faith wasn't sure, but they might have attracted the attention of a news camera. But that didn't matter to her now.

“I owe more to Ruby and the Rev and Karma and Roxelle and Monroe and Zane and even Dmitri than I do to you! You made my life hell, keeping me up there all the time.You didn't even try to help me. Why didn't you? All I needed was that one, 'Are you okay?' That's it, and this wouldn't have happened. Maybe we would still have the house and your job if you hadn't been so pissed all the time at coworkers and your boss and Renee and I. Think about it! You're as much to blame as I am! It's not a one-way street!”

Faith was practically gulping for air by the end. She stared at Will for a moment, then he looked away. She looked at the Reverend, who looked sympathetic, but awkward. Then, she looked to Dmitri, the boy who might make her life sort of happy, and saw that he looked taken aback.

Renee came over and, in one swift movement, took her brother's hand and put a ring in it and left the park. He didn't even move.

“You know what the problem is with you, Will?” Her voice was quieter now, hoarser. “You never think anything is worth fighting for. You think, 'Oh, well, maybe it was meant to be' and take it laying down. You give up way too soon. Renee stuck with you through all of that, even me, and you let her get away that fast. I told you she'd be gone someday, but I thought you'd fight harder because she meant more to you than just standing here. I know she did.”

She waited for him to say something. For him to move. To breathe. But he didn't. Instead, he just stood there, frozen.

“Will, here and now, you're not fighting. I am. So, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I'm not coming back, so check me out.”

Still, he did not move.

“Goodbye, Will.”

His fingers closed around the ring and he turned and walked a few steps before stopping and telling her the last words she would hear from him for a while:

“Good luck.”

In that moment, for less than a second, Faith wanted to take everything back and go back to Amboy Plaza and never, ever leave. But she had said everything. She couldn't take them back even if she wanted to. So, she watched her brother walk away. She watched him until she could no longer see which body was his.

“Rev...”

The Reverend appeared behind her, Audrey and Pepper as well. “Yes, baby girl?”

“Can you help me?”

“In any and all ways possible, Faith.”

That's all that she needed. She turned and wrapped her arms around his abdomen and began to cry. She wailed like a child as the Reverend hugged her back, not caring how big of a scene she had just made, or how her words were true, or how she had wanted to take them back.

“Are you okay, baby girl?”

Faith took a deep breath to steady herself. She looked up at the Reverend. “Better than I've ever been. Thank you so much for everything.” She paused, smiling broadly. “I think I'll have the most kick-ass speech ever.”

The speaker before her was onstage now. She stood here, on the edge, the Rev right behind her. She was the second-to-last speaker, the Rev being the last. Faith stared at her hands, getting more and more nervous the closer the person onstage came to finishing. Her breath was shaky and her stomach in knots. How was she going to talk to these people? The Reverend came up behind her then and whispered, “Are you all right?” “Yeah... I'm fine.” “Just be yourself. That's all anyone can ask of you.” She nodded as the person walked offstage and the Rev pushed her forward. All of the eyes scared her stiff, but she stared out to the tree where Dmitri was sitting, smiling at her. She took a deep breath and began. “Hi, everyone. I'm Faith Crosse. I've been going to the Ruby Room for a week or so now. I know that doesn't seem like much, compared to the ones who've been going since her opening, but that's all it takes to get addicted to the way it makes you feel inside. Now, I know that you've heard this a million times before, right from the very first speech. I mean, this is why we're having this rally, isn't it? But Ruby isn't a bar. It's not. It never really was. It's so much more than that word can ever encompass. Ruby is... Ruby's... she's...” Faith threw up her hands. “See, this is what I mean! Ruby is so much to me, to everyone, that it's practically impossible to find the right words to fit her. She's fun, she's warm, she's accepting, she's loving, she's musical, she's mighty, she's beautiful. There are so many, yet none of them can fully describe her wonder. I mean, if you've ever been the Ruby Room before, you know what I'm talking about. You walk in, and there are all of these people with smiles, and they're laughing and dancing and having an amazing time. There's music floating around from somewhere unknown, giving it a... I don't know... serene, carefree atmosphere. Then, you undoubtedly meet the Reverend Strychnine Twitch, who shows you that life's not all bad. You meet these amazing people you never would have known before who teach you that you need to be thankful for what you have, because you never know who's got it worse. Take me, for example. “I was miserable because I couldn't sleep without recollecting my parents' deaths. My brother had disconnected himself from me, so I was left on my own. I was basically rotting away in a hotel room. But one night, I decided to take a walk. What possessed me to do so, I don't know, but I walked right into three Ruby-goers, and they took me into the new land of the Ruby Room. I met the Rev, was saved as Rogue, and my life took off. Now, I'm here, standing here, telling you my story, with more confidence in myself than I've had in a long, long time. Ruby has come to define my life in the short time we've known each other. “If Ruby disappeared, I don't know what I would do. One, I'm homeless now, so I would have absolutely nowhere to go. Two, I would probably be so depressed that I would kill myself. Three, I would miss all of you fabulous, gorgeous, outstanding people. But what am I saying? Ruby will never end. Even if the building is boarded up, she will live on. No one can take Ruby from us, because Ruby is not just a bar. She's a right to feel something. And no one can take away our rights.” With that, she walked offstage, ready to throw up her dignity onto the grass then and there, but she walked right down the ramp as the Rev and Monroe passed her. She walked over to the tree and sat down next to Dmitri, who looked at her, impressed. “What?” “You did a good job.” “Oh... thanks.” “No problem.” Cheers erupted from the crowd as the Rev approached the mic. “Oh, dolls 'n' gents, ya're expectin' enti'ely too much!” He laughed at his own joke, then became serious, losing his accent. “But, really, everyone. We're not here to listen to me talk. You've heard it all, so all I can say is that Ruby is my home. Literally. I live above her. And I don't want to leave, but if Ruby does, I am. I won't live there if I can't just walk downstairs and see all of these faces I see right now.” He slung his arm around Monroe who, at this point, was just standing beside him awkwardly. “This little girl is all the motivation I need to keep the Ruby Room in action. I saved her the first day she came to Ruby. She told me that just seeing that there is still light in the world after she has seen so much darkness is just ratifying. She said these words, and others that she asked be kept a secret from you. But you'll know. As soon as you pass through that door in the alley, you'll know what those words are. The only hope I have is you, all of you, because Ruby needs all of us to band together and realize that we're nothing alone, but together, we're something. Something bigger than we can fathom. Remember this, you hell cats, tomorrow-pissers, acid snakes, dirty rats, and all of you f*ing refugees. Remember this, you exiled martyrs, ecstasy babies, hope-chasers, you leavers and stayers. You nevers and forevers. You ultimates and degradeds. All of you workers, trippers, pissers, pleasers, tumbleweeds, brainwashed officers of the future – this is it. Ruby's finest hour to date. And you're all part of it, clean or dirty. Live it.” The Reverend left a stunned crowd as he and Monroe walked offstage. Another band went on, but Faith was watching as Monroe went to sit with Braden and Pepper ran up to the Rev. He scooped her up and hugged her tightly. Then, they disappeared into the crowd. The night went on. More music was played by some bands from Walkover, and Dmitri never left Faith. They talked the night away, about their lives, music, movies, art, people, whatever popped into their minds. By the time the stars came around, she knew everything about him and he knew her. He was seventeen years old, lived over by Roxelle's mother in the suburbs with his two younger sisters and parents, spoke Portuguese fluently, wanted to be a professional musician, he loved Husker Du and the Ramones, and he had never kissed a girl. “Never?” “Nope. Not yet, at least.” “Wow. I'm shocked. You're so perfect that I would think you would have.” “Well, don't judge a book by it's cover.” “But I read you. You have to be lying.” “Honest. I've never kissed a girl.” “But I'm never wrong, so you have.” “Haven't.” “Have.” “Haven't.” She quickly leaned in and pecked him on the lips. “Have.” “Well, I still am not a liar, because you kissed me. I didn't kiss you.” “Kiss me then!” He did. It was quick and sweet and childish. But it was perfect. “Guess what?” Faith said, probably blushing bright pink. “What?” “You're my first kiss. Well, except for Dylan Cobal on the playground in first grade, but that doesn't count because it was a dare.” He laughed and she smiled. She didn't know if the relationship would last more than tonight or a few months or if it would be a lifelong one. She didn't care, either. Right now, it was perfect. She wouldn't trade now for anything. She ended up returning to the Ruby Room with the Rev, who was carrying a sleeping Pepper, Audrey, Roxelle, and Joanna. Dmitri had given her his cell phone number, but he understood that she probably wouldn't call him a lot. He promised her that he would come to the Ruby Room whenever he could. She said to come in the alley entrance, that way they wouldn't suspect you weren't one of them. She said it jokingly, of course, because everyone was welcome to Ruby, unless you were Jimmy. Since Pepper was sleeping on the sofa, Roxelle, Joanna, and Faith were sleeping on the floor in the living room. And, since, apparently, the Rev was a snorer, she just laid on her back and stared at the ceiling, wondering what Will was doing; if he regretted anything. If he had, she wouldn't be here right now. She would be in the large white house, sleeping in her own bed, easels and windows and blankets and luxury. But she would be missing something inside her chest, something warm and soft and sweet and pink and fresh and pulsating. Something she thought she knew before, but was missing. Something that filled the empty hole within her, if only temporarily. But here, she was surrounded by bodies and breath and poverty and alcohol and harsh words, but that missing piece was there, and she felt whole, like it was supposed to be. She settled into a sleep eventually, dreaming of a day when she could be with Dmitri boundlessly and they could come to the Ruby Room and taste the sweet liquor and have it feel deserved. Have it be a prize that they won by fighting valiantly. Maybe they could be like the Rev and Audrey and Pepper. Maybe they would live in the suburbs and she would take their children to school and help them learn their work and let them play in the yard and tuck them in at night with stories of brave soldiers and pirates and princesses and other fairy things like that. Something to make them happy, and whisk them off to dreamland faster and happier. “Faith, time to rock and roll! Come on!” Faith blinked in the early morning sun. The Rev and Pepper were waking everyone up and having Moxie lick their faces. “Five... more... minutes.” “No, get up now.” “No...” “Yes. Pepper, will you jump on her, please?” She felt a weight on her back. “Daddy says up! Get up! Get up!” Faith turned under the little girl and said, “I'm up... I'm up.” Pepper followed the Rev into the kitchen. Faith sat up and stretched. Joanna was sitting on the sofa, eating cereal, watching her. “Good morning, Faith.” “That's an oxymoron.” “I guess so.” Roxelle emerged from the bathroom, wearing clothes that obviously weren't hers. “What? Me and Audrey are relatively close in size.” “Close enough. But I never thought I'd see you wearing mom jeans.” “Heard that!” Audrey called from the bedroom. “Sorry!” “Good work, Faith. Insult the wife,” Rev called from the kitchen. “Great! Now I feel bad!” Pepper and her father emerged from the kitchen. The Rev, licking a brown popsicle, did a double-take when he saw Roxelle. “Whoa. Thought I was married to you for a second. My mind was seriously just fuc – er, messed up.” They all laughed at his correction around his daughter. Pepper didn't even seem to notice. Audrey came in then, laughing, having heard the situation from the bedroom. “Morning, baby.” She kissed Pepper's forehead as she passed. “Morning, Dilly.” She kissed him too as she passed and stole his frozen treat. “Hey!” He didn't go after it as she headed into the kitchen, and Roxelle jumped at the opportunity to ask him about what Audrey just called him. “What's 'Dilly'?” Audrey laughed from the kitchen. “It means 'extraordinary guy'. Slang. I called him that in my hipster years.” The Rev looked very embarrassed. “Because calling me my name was too mainstream. Still is, I guess.” The Rev stood there, laughing slightly, blushing at his name. Then, he looked smug. “Should I tell them about yours?” Audrey made no sound from the kitchen. “She's Bunny. She used to make this face when she was thinking or something and she would scrunch up her nose and she wouldn't even notice, and it reminded me of a rabbit, so I started calling her Bunny.” “Tell them about the carnival!” “Oh, yeah, and the carnival. I took her and won her this stuffed bunny rabbit with button eyes. I think Pepper still has it.” At hearing her name, the Reverend's daughter looked up. “Can you go get your bunny, Pepper? Show it to them?” She nodded and went and got it. She didn't seem nine. She seemed to be five. Faith couldn't get over it. Maybe she just wasn't growing up as fast. Either way, she came back holding a scruffy white bunny, sewed together haphazardly, with one eye missing. She showed it off to them. “That's her middle name too. What's your full name, Pepper?” “Pepper Marie Bunny Jones.” “Excellent. Two middle names, because one is so overdone.” “Yeah,” she said absently as she sat down next to Joanna, holding her bunny tightly, looking it over carefully. “Anyway, girls, Audrey and I need to piece some things together with the folks from Walkover. We're thinking about teaming up for our next protest. Do you think one of you could watch Pepper? It really wouldn't take that long.” “Sorry, Rev. Me and Joanna have to head over to my place and clean out my stuff. We have to take some of it to the Salvation Army and Goodwill and stuff, so we're going to be a while,” Roxelle said. The Rev looked to Faith. “What about you, Faith? Would you do it?” “Sure.” It wasn't like she had anywhere else to be. “No problem.” “All right, baby, you be on your best behavior for Faith, okay? We'll be back soon.” Audrey kissed her daughter on the forehead again as she and the Rev descended down the stairs. Roxelle and Joanna were already gone. “Can we color?” She asked as soon as her parents were gone. “Sure. Just show me where the stuff is.” Pepper smiled and led Faith into her parents' room and opened the closet door. She pointed in the back, where a large roll of paper was leaning against the wall. Faith pulled it out awkwardly. Then, she pulled out a basket of crayons, markers, pencils, the like. She handed the basket to Pepper as she took the roll into the living room. She rolled it out along the floor and it stopped when it hit the wall on the other side. Pepper set the basket down in the middle of the paper and said that the left side was hers and the right side was Faith's. “What do you want me to draw?” “Draw me and Mama and Papa.” Faith took out a pencil from the basket and started sketching. She didn't care if this little girl wanted just a plain drawing, not a full-blown portrait. That was what she was giving her. Of course, she drew Pepper first. She gave her a head, chin, neck, shoulders, torso, hips, legs, feet, arms, hands, hair. She sketched her doe eyes and her smile and her petite nose. She fished around for a thin black marker and, miraculously, found one. She outlined the little girl and gave her more detail. Then, she erased the pencil lines and searched through the crayons to find a red-orange color for her hair. She quickly looked at Pepper and saw that it was sort of a muted, burnt orange color. She shaded in the red-orange and then added a layer of sepia. It looked close, but not exactly right. She told herself to come back to it later. Faith colored in her skin with flesh tones, giving her cheeks a light pink color. She hesitated when she came to the eyes. “Pepper?” “Yes?” “Can you look at me for a second please?” Pepper looked up and Faith immediately recalled what Adie had told the Rev when they had brought Audrey and Pepper back to him; that she had his eyes. The rich green color, with sort of a hazel color around the pupil. It was darker around the outside edges, but became lighter in the middle. “Thanks.” She dug around for a few shades of green and added them to the light brown that she already had out. Her eyes weren't that big in the picture, but she tried her best to get it right. She gave Pepper a plain pink dress because she thought that pink would go nicely with her hair, contrary to what many thought. Faith thought that redheads looked good in pink. She left her feet bare. “What do you think, Pepper?” The little girl stopped coloring for a moment and peeked at Faith's drawing. “Wow. You're really good at drawing.” “Thank you. Should I do your mom or your dad next?” “Do Mama.” “Okay.” Faith expected to just be drawing an enlarged version of Pepper, but Audrey was more complex in her facial structure and her hair was darker at the top and lighter at the bottom. Her arms were not long and lanky and awkward like Pepper's, but graceful and elegant. She was grinning, but not in a garish or posed way; Faith tried to make it look as natural as possible. She outlined it and began to color, shading well, giving Audrey a simple, casual, carefree look. “Pepper? What color are your mother's eyes?” “Gray.” She didn't even look up. “Right. Thank you.” She gave Audrey gray eyes, blending them with a touch of cadet blue for dimension. Surprisingly, Audrey look well. Faith was sort of speeding up so that she could fit everyone in because she knew that Pepper's parents would be back soon. “Did I get your mom right?” She looked over at Faith's side again and smiled. “She looks perfect. Do Papa now.” Finally, what Faith had been waiting for. But she wasn't going to draw the Rev. She was going to draw Pepper's father. She knew that he was slightly taller than Audrey. He was thicker, but not paunchy. His arms were long, but not awkwardly so and not very graceful. His hands were strong, capable, and helping hands. His face was rounded, his hair shaggy, his lips smiling, his eyes shining. She colored his eyes first, because the image of Pepper's was still somewhat fresh in her mind. She colored the roots of his hair a dark, reddish-brown color and the rest blonde. She gave him a simple t-shirt and jeans, because she was not drawing him as the Rev. He was relatively easy to draw that way. “All right, Pepper. Here's your family.” She put all the crayons in the basket and stood, stretching. Faith had a feeling that the Rev and Audrey would be back soon. She couldn't judge time accurately when she was drawing, but Pepper got a whole landscape done; hills, tree, buildings, clouds, a playground. She even colored the whole sky blue. “Yours looks really good, Pepper.” “So does yours. We should have Papa hang it on the wall when he gets back.” “Pepper, baby, we're home!” Faith went over to rip the paper off the roll when the Rev and Audrey came up the stairs. “Look what I drew! Look! Look!” Pepper pulled her father over as Faith put the roll and the basket away. “Wow, Pepper, that's really good! Did you do that all by yourself?” “Yeah, but look at Faith's. She drew all of us.” She pointed at Faith's side of the picture as she walked into the room. “Wow, Faith. I didn't know you could draw.” “My mother was an artist. It was her greatest passion. She spent all of her time doing that and our dad was the moneymaker for our family. He was a lawyer. Will was pretty much him in a child form. They even shared a name. But I can't criticize them, because I was the mini version of my mother. I was artistic, headstrong, and I cared way too much about what my brother and father thought about me and my actions. When it was only Will and I... I was only eleven, and he was barely eighteen. We had no idea what to do. Everything they had, we split, but he technically owned the house and everything inside it because he was legal, and I wasn't. We stayed there for a while... five or six years. I pretty much stowed myself away up there. Took classes online and such. I knew that I was smart, but I didn't care about the things they wanted to teach me... Algebra, history, that stuff. I didn't care. And why would I? I was hopeless. And when I was starting to feel better, he lost his job and we came to Amboy. I wasn't eating or sleeping. I thought I was going to die. But now... I feel so much better. Like a different person. It's like I shed a skin...” Faith realized just how much she had said. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ramble on like that.” “No problem. Think of me as your therapist. I'm here to listen.” “I stopped doing art, in any form, when they died. The last piece I did was an abstract painting. It was more of a color study, I guess. I was experimenting. I finished it at the end of June, right before they died. But I had been in an art slump. I was never really inspired. I still think that the best thing I ever made was a painting I did when I was... oh, I don't know... eight, I think. It was a sunset. Or a sunrise. I don't remember. I left it there, along with all of my other pieces and all of my mother's. Will was in too much of a rush to get out with as little as possible. He never saw the appeal of artwork like I did; never saw true beauty in... anything.” By now, they had moved to the sofa while Audrey and Pepper colored the rest of her picture. The Rev seemed to be listening intently. “I wonder if they're still there. I don't know exactly where they would be, but I don't know if someone would look at them and think, 'Wow, these are so terrible. I have to get rid of them.' Maybe they're in storage somewhere... I don't know. What would I do even if I found them again? I have no place to put them.” The Rev took a breath. “I'll tell you what, Faith. We'll take you over to your old house and we'll find your art and we'll bring it here. We'll hang it up in the Ruby Room. Where is it?” “It's in one of the suburbs. I can't remember the exact address... we might have to stop by and see Will and ask him.” “Faith!” Roxelle's voice carried up the stairs. “Yeah?” “I think someone's looking for you down here.” She looked at the Rev. “Do you think it's...?” “Only one way to find out.” He came over and gently prodded her forward. “I'm right behind you, baby doll.” She tramped down the steps, trying to contain her fear of what he might do. Even if it was him. After all, it could be Dmitri or Renee... But it was him. Will stood there awkwardly, like he didn't want to be here long. A bag sat at his feet. “Hello,” he said as she approached. She knew that he was looking at the grimy tables, haphazard stage, dingy bar. She knew that it didn't look appealing at all to him. “Hi. What's up?” He picked up the bag and handed it to her. “This is your stuff. Everything I could find, anyway. I washed it and everything, so you don't have to worry.” “Thanks.” Things were so awkward after the falling out. But he was still her brother, even if she hated him for not supporting her and her wants. “What was the address of the old house? The white one?” Will looked confused and caught off-guard. “Uh, twenty-seven eighty Golthy, I think. Why?” “Nothing you need to sweat about.” She hiked the bag up on her shoulder. “Thanks again for this.” “No problem.” He turned to leave. “Will?” He spun. “Hmm?” “Just because we don't agree doesn't mean I don't love you. You know that, right? I'm just not your biggest fan at the moment. Let's just... respect each other, okay? Not grow old and bitter and hate each other for things we couldn't help.” He nodded. “Stay in touch, all right?” “Absolutely. And you know where to find me.” She stamped the floor. “I'll be right here.” “And I'll be in the same, old place.” “See you later.” “Bye.” Faith walked across the room, back up the steps, feeling like a weight was lifted off her chest and she was no floating freely. She was so much better now. “What did he want?” “He just dropped off some stuff of mine.” “Still mad at you?” “No... not mad. Just... confused at why I didn't choose what he did. Maybe a little disappointed, but he doesn't know what it means.” “You okay, Faith?” Audrey asked from the floor. “Yeah. I think I'm fine.” Roxelle pointed to the end of the couch, on the ground. “You can just throw your stuff on ours, over there.” “Thanks.” She did so, and took a seat next to the Rev and Joanna. Faith looked at the giggling girl on the floor, the mother enjoying her life with her, the father watching with pleasure, the fiery girl who longed for the same, the innocent girl who just wanted to make everyone happy, and herself, the one who turned from a caterpillar to a butterfly, morphing into something spectacular and red, down in the Ruby Room.

“Faith?”

The dark was slurring her thought. For a moment, she was soaring over the city, watching the lights bleed into dramatic new colors that no one had ever seen before. Now, she was crashing down into the streets, where a million people, who had eyes of glass and hearts of steel, watched her, not even trying to help her.

“Faith!” Audrey hissed, shaking her shoulder.

Faith opened her eyes. It was pitch black in the apartment, but she could sense Audrey's face hovering above her own.

“Come on, get up.” She pulled her up gently, but firmly, and she stood shakily, trying to brush the sleep from her body.

“What's going on?”

“Let's take a walk, shall we?”

Even through the thick haze of sleep, Faith knew that something was wrong. Why would Audrey be taking her out like this? What possessed her to wake in the middle of the night and do this?


It was cold. Faith wrapped her arms around herself as Audrey led her down the street, away from the Amboy Plaza, where the shops kept getting more and more run-down and the sidewalks more cracked and the bay closer and closer.

It was only as they emerged from the alley that Faith realized that it wasn't the middle of the night. It had to be around five or six in the morning. When they walked through the Ruby Room, it had been slow and sort of bored, so she assumed it must be getting close to closing.

“So, Faith,” Audrey began, causing Faith to wonder, yet again, why the walk this early in the morning?

“Let me start: why are we here?”

Audrey sighed and looked up. “Well... I wanted to get you alone, without Twitch or Roxelle or Joanna or anyone to pressure you into saying or not saying something. I wanted to ask you about your family.”

“What's there to ask?”

“Let me rephrase that: I wanted you to tell me about your family.”

“What about them?”

“Look, Faith, I just wanted to know because how Dilly said yesterday that he's sort of like your therapist. I wanted you to feel comfortable around everyone, and it seemed that you were... with the exception of me. So, I wanted to fix it. Just tell me whatever you want.”

Faith didn't know where to be begin. “My parents were hit by a car on the Fourth of July, when I was eleven. I saw the whole thing unfold. My mom was leaving us to chase her art career. My father didn't want us. I don't know why; he never let on before. Maybe he just wasn't the type of person who loved unconditionally. I really just don't know. Up until that point, I had tried so hard to impress him that I didn't really know what I wanted. But after that, I just stopped caring. Will stood in as my dad and I didn't care what he thought about me. But I wasn't really living. I was in that state in between life and death, where you don't want to live, but you don't want to die. I was too scared to die. What if I saw them?”

Audrey was nodding, staring downward, listening. Faith didn't know how to say what the wanted to. It was coming out as gibberish.

“I'm sorry. I can't...” She continued to trip over her tongue. “I don't know what to say.”

“Just say. Don't think. Just tell me whatever you want.”

She took a breath. “When we came to Amboy, I was just so angry at Will. I was pissed at the world. I didn't know how to deal with it, so I just bottled it up to keep Will happy. He had no idea what the hell was going on in my head. I was mad. I couldn't sleep because I kept seeing them because I was angry with them. Her for leaving and him from not wanting us. I hated them all. Renee, too, because she obviously had no idea who Will was. She knew I was screwed up, but she didn't know how much. But now, I'm so pissed at myself for not telling him sooner and for making him feel so awful and for disconnecting myself from him... I'm starting to think that it would have been better for everyone if I would have stayed away from the Ruby Room; if I never met Roxelle and Karma and Zane and the Rev.”

Audrey looked at her. “Faith, honey, you can't mean that.”

“I do. My life would be the same, but at least you'd all still be happy and stuff.”

“No. Mine wouldn't be, at least. I know that you had something to do with bringing me back to Dilly. If it weren't for you, Pepper and I would still be in that ratty, old trailer park where her best friend is a stuffed bunny. No. I never would have forgiven him if it weren't for you. So thanks. I don't think I said it before.”

Faith didn't say anything.

“And, there's always Pepper. She has you to thank for being able to meet her daddy. That's pretty big when you're a nine-year-old.”

She shrugged.

“Zane has you to thank for not committing suicide himself, too, I heard.”

“From who?”

“Oh, when you're married to the Rev, you hear some pretty juicy gossip.” Faith looked up at her. She was smiling.

“Roxelle told me that she had the courage to admit herself to the whole world because you inspired her.”

“How? She's so much stronger than me.”

“Faith. Come on. I know you know her story. Roxelle isn't as tough as she looks. We talked for a while too. She told me that, since you were taking control of your life, that she could too. You saw her. She wouldn't look at the camera until she was completely ready. Did you see how scared she was? And let's not forget Joanna, who said that she told so many lies, but is now truly herself because of you.”

Faith looked down again. She watched her feet as she walked.

“How much more proof do you need, Faith? Dilly's different too!”

She swallowed. “How?”

“He's... softer. It's as if you tapped into something in his brain, something that triggered his paternal instinct or whatever.”

“But every person who came in that was broken did that.”

“Not like you did. You tripped him up. I don't know how, but you did. You made him stop and think, 'Wait. What the hell am I doing?' Look at him when he's around you and when he's around Pepper. The looks and the actions are identical. I swear to God, Faith, you did something to everyone.”

They made it to the bay. Faith could smell the salt and the air and the algae and the cerulean waves of freedom. She inhaled.

“And let's not forget Dmitri.”

A smile spread over her face.


“I saw the way you were looking at him, Faith. It's the way I used to look at the Rev. The way he looked at me.”

Faith was sure she was blushing. They walked along the edge of the bay for a while, then Audrey stopped and pointed out to the horizon.

The sun was just rising out of the skyline. It seemed to be waking late today. Either way, it arose with splendor and grandeur, like a sun ought to rise.

“Beautiful, isn't it? I swear, this is my favorite place to see a sunset. Right here.” She stared for a little longer, then asked, “Have you ever been to Walkover?”

“I didn't even know it existed until the other night.”

“We should go sometime. Me and you. It's some serious fun. Almost as much fun as Ruby. But they don't have booze.” She winked. “Shall we head back, then?”

“Sure.” As they began to walk back, the sun blinking behind them, she said, “Thank you.”

“No thanks needed.” She smiled. “Besides, I owed you.”

“Well, it means a lot to me, you taking time to help me get my life together.”

“The feeling is mutual, Faith.”



“Mama! Where were you?”

Pepper dove headfirst into Audrey as soon as she got to the top of the stairs.

“What are you doing up, baby?”

“She came in at around five fifteen, right after you left. She thought someone took you and Faith,” the Rev explained from the couch.

Pepper rested her chin on her mother's stomach and looked up at her. “I was scared. Where did you go?”

“We just took a walk. Nothing to worry about.”

“See, baby?” Twitch waved his daughter over to him. She came and she sat on his lap, burying her face in his chest. “I told you that Mama can take care of herself. Nothing to be scared of.”

Joanna emerged from the bathroom. It was only then that Faith realized that Roxelle was still asleep on the floor. But then she looked back at Joanna. Her face was serious; a little frightened.

“I have something you can be scared about.”

“What?”

“Come here.” She went back into the bathroom, sweeping the curtain aside. Faith had noticed the window before, but she never realized the fire escape. But that was not what Joanna was referring to. She was pointing at the police cars that seemed to have just pulled up.

“Were they there when you came in?” She asked Audrey, who, in turn, shook her head.

“What do you think they're doing?” Faith asked, trying not to see the obvious.

“I'll give you three guesses.”



“Officers!” The Rev exclaimed when he got outside. He was followed closely by Audrey and Pepper. He had thought it might soften them up. They turned and looked at him like he was some sort of disease. Contagious. “What's going on?”

They just stood there like statues, watching him with intense stares until one spoke.

“We're waiting for clearance to close up the Ruby Room.”

Mouths were gaping open. What? They did one demonstration. That's it. They wouldn't be able to work with Walkover.

“You can't!” Roxelle screamed, running at the cops. The Rev spun and grabbed her, effectively restraining her from doing something she would regret. “Do you have hearts?! This is my home! My only home! Where am I supposed to go?!”

They stood there, unmoving, unfeeling, made of brick while Roxelle kicked and thrashed while the Rev stood firm.

“Calm yaself down, baby doll. We'll fin' a way 'round this, don' ya worry.”

Roxelle stopped flailing and hugged the Rev, crying already. Then, she turned and walked back to Joanna, hugging her for dear life.

“Now. Officers. I don't think you realize just how serious this is. I don't think you understand just how important Ruby is to some people.”

Some of the employees were emerging now, Lyn and Adie included. Some of the lingering patrons were coming too. One of the officers went into his car and pulled out caution tape. There was shouting now, as more officers were showing up, news crews, concerned citizens, Ruby regulars and the sometimers.

“Please, move away from the Ruby Room!” An officer boomed, moving everyone into the street, void of traffic, but full of parked police cars and news vans. He did it without emotion, like it was rote. But Faith pushed around everyone and hugged the wall of Ruby, spreading her arms, her fingertips brushing the rough brick.

“Not while I'm around, you won't.”

Another officer approached her, but she was soon joined by Roxelle, Joanna, and many others. The crowd was steadily building. Adie came and stood by her, as did Lyn. And, in an incredibly gutsy move, the Rev and Audrey came as well, with Pepper holding each of their hands. She looked very scared, but the Rev looked down at her and smiled, showing her that it was all going to be okay.

A sheriff came around the other officers. Using a megaphone, he spoke over all noise.

“Listen. I don't know what you're playing at, but we have a job to do here. We maintain the right to close this bar down because of service of alcohol to underage patrons.”

“We didn't drink it!”

“I don't know if you're getting this, but they serve alcohol. The Ruby Room was classified as a bar. No one under the age of twenty-one is allowed entrance to bars.”

“Most restaurants serve alcohol these days, but everyone's allowed in there!” Someone shouted.

“You all have five minutes to move before we move you.”

With that, he turned off the megaphone. A few seconds of silence, then Roxelle yelled, “We will not be silenced!”

A roar from the line of Ruby-goers followed her cry. She moved to the front, standing before them.

“They can't take Ruby from us! Not even if they board up the windows and lock all the doors! Ruby belongs to us! Ruby is in our blood! She's under our skin! She's taken over our heads! Our minds! Our souls are red with Ruby!” More cries of agreement followed. “Ruby is more than an old building! She is us! We are Ruby! Even without a physical location, we will still have Ruby! She will never die, no matter what these people tell us! They have no idea what this love is!” More cheering. “Pity them! Tell them now! Tell them everything you want to! They're listening!”

She merged back into the crowd as they screamed at the crowd. Cameras were trained on them, catching their every move, every word. All of their stories, spilled out on the pavement.

Faith looked out at the crowd, watching them react. She spied Roxelle's mother, crying. Faith could read her thoughts just by looking at her face: Where did I go wrong?

Other parents and citizens with old-fashioned ideals watched, crying and yelling back and watching with looks of disappointment and sorrow and shock and agony and regret and confusion, along with many others that she did not recognize.

One of the officers, a new one by the looks of it, rushed forward, pushing through the wall of authorities. “Capri!” He called.

A blonde girl that couldn't be more than sixteen, standing near Faith, shrunk slightly.

“Capri!”

His eyes searched the crowd, finally resting on the head of his daughter. He grabbed her and pulled her out gruffly. Faith couldn't tell if he was angry or worried or confused or hurt or some combination of everything.

Capri tugged against him, but he continued to drone on about things that Faith couldn't hear and Capri obviously didn't care about. She was desperately trying to get back into the group.

But all attention was off the girl and her father as the sheriff's voice boomed out over them again.

“Your five minutes are up! Move now, or we move you!”

No one even breathed.

“Fine. We'll do it your way.”

At that, the officers came and physically pushed, shoved, picked up, and herded every single one of the Ruby-goers. Many resisted and were hit with pepper spray and some of the rougher ones, mostly the men, were victims of stun guns. Faith had never seen anything like it. She was mesmerized until Roxelle was stunned.

“Roxelle!” She cried, trying to reach her friend. The Rev, attached to Pepper and Audrey, grabbed her hand, pulling her. Faith latched onto Joanna and they broke through the crowd, getting sprayed at. Faith could feel some get in her eyes, but not enough to faze her. Roxelle was crying out as she flailed. An officer was carrying her to his vehicle. As they watched, they were pushed back into the mix. Barriers were put up quickly, and they were effectively shut out from Ruby.

Faith was pushed up into the barrier as people crashed against her. It reminded her of her first night in the Ruby Room, when the Rev had saved her. She went back to that moment to distract herself from the scene before her.

The sheriff came up and entered the Ruby Room, followed by many of the officers, carrying boards and hammers and nails and drills. The crowd watched in agony as they boarded up Ruby's windows, cutting off all of her oxygen and light. She would surely die now.

Faith tried her hardest not to focus on what was before her, but instead on the memories from the Ruby Room. Meeting Karma, Roxelle, and Zane for the first time. The first impression she had. Meeting the Rev. Dancing. Singing. Being saved. Coming back as Rogue. Talking with the Rev. Watching Monroe be saved. Helping Zane. The list went on.

The officers emerged, one by one, single file, the sheriff coming out last. He plastered up a piece of paper and locked the door with a padlock. Then, he went around to the other side and did the same thing again. Faith tried not to cry.

“The Ruby Room is now closed!” The megaphone boomed.

Cries and boos and hisses and sobs and other noises erupted from the crowd. Faith backed up with her hands on her face. How could this have happened? They were trying so hard. They had only just begun the fight.

The Rev's hand was warm on her shoulder. She took one look at him and burst into tears. He guided her over to the edge of the crowd, where Audrey and Joanna sat, tending to Pepper. She seemed to have gotten pepper spray in her eyes. Only a little, by the looks of things, but she was still crying.

All of Faith's pain came to the surface, then, and she cried harder than she had in a long time. The Rev pulled her into an embrace, but said nothing. She assumed it was out of respect. They had just lost their greatest, dearest, most cherished friend and there was no way to reverse things.

Faith could feel her heart ache, crack, and break, shatter into a million pieces in that moment. She had died along with Ruby. Nothing would be the same now.


Everyone just began to fade away after the police left. The news crews trickled away, one by one, leaving a broken, shattered, lost crowd in their wake. Then, people started to leave. They just simply walked away, giving up hope. As the day continued to grow, then decay, fewer and fewer were there. And as the sun set, only the Rev, Audrey, Pepper, Roxelle, Joanna, and Faith were left.

“They just... gave up?” Joanna was confused, just like everyone else.


“Yeah... but we won't.” Faith tried so desperately to be optimistic in the situation, but it was so difficult, like being in denial. She looked to the Rev for confirmation. “Right, Rev? We won't give up, right?”

He looked up at her. He was sitting on the ground, Audrey leaning her head on his shoulder as she stroked her daughter's hair. As she studied the look in his eyes, she knew that he had already given up.

“I'm sorry, baby girl. I don't know what else to do.”

“But...”

“There's a point in every fight when you figure out what the hell you're doing and just how impossible it is. This morning was one of those times. But now, the fight is over. There isn't anything else we can do.”

“We can... we can...” Faith was starting to lose it. To see one of the strongest people she had ever known just give up like that made her crumble.

“We can't, baby doll. There is nothing else to do. Ruby is gone. We can't get her back.”

Faith inhaled sharply and stalked away. She went around into the alley and walked right by the locked door.

“Baby girl!”

She jumped up onto the closed Dumpster and pulled down the ladder to the fire escape. She jumped on and began to climb.

“Faith!”

The ladder was rusty and the paint was chipping, coming off in her hands. She climbed up to the top, but she could feel someone coming up behind her.

“Faith, stop before you do something stupid!”

She pried open the window, digging her fingernails into it, pulling as hard as she could. It creaked and opened about an inch and a half. Faith repositioned herself, and pushed upwards to get it open further, then clambered through.

“Faith!”

She tripped when she came into the bathroom, but she got up quickly and stumbled over to the stairs. Tears were beginning to flow faster and heavier and hotter and angrier and her heart was pumping loudly. She could hear her life in her ears.

“Faith!” The Rev screamed at her from the bathroom window. He couldn't fit through.

She rushed to the bottom of the stairs and found a closed door. She stopped, standing in front of it like it was judging her. Faith wiped her tears with the back of her hands and took a deep breath. She reached out to the doorknob and hesitated again. Did she want to know? Was it over here or was there a loophole? This could be her undoing, the turn of this doorknob.

She began to turn it.

It went for a second, then stopped.

It was locked from the other side.

“Faith! Come on, get out here!”

She backed up against the door, everything slipping out of her, until she couldn't feel anything anymore. It was all gone, all she had worked for. Everything she wanted. She had given up everything for this place, and it was unreachable now. Faith slid down to the floor and just began to cry as someone came down the stairs.

“Faith?” Audrey whispered.

“I sacrificed everything for Ruby... and she's gone. Why does this always happen to me?”

Audrey came down and sat by Faith and put her arm around her. “Faith, honey...”

“First, I totally went out of my way to make my dad proud, and then he was gone... and now Ruby...” She cried on.

Joanna joined them next, not saying anything. She just leaned her head on Faith's shoulder and comforted her without words. Roxelle came in next, and she was saying so much. But Faith couldn't understand her. She was talking a mile a minute, about the police, the news, the Ruby Room, the Rev, everything. And then there was Pepper, who took a seat by her mother and didn't say a word. After a while, the Rev even made it through, but he sat on the steps, watching these girls die inside. He truly didn't know what to do. No one did.



“Is that it? That's all you have?” Roxelle asked as Faith emerged from the open window with her small bag on her back.


“What? I don't need that much.”

“But that's a tiny bag!”

It was. It barely covered her back and it wasn't even full. She made her way down the ladder. Everyone was at the bottom, waiting for her.

When she made it, she stood there. She looked at this dysfunctional group. This motley unit. These five people that had become her family so quickly.

“Are you ready for this, Faith?” Audrey asked, looking like a concerned mother.

“As long as you're there, I think I'll be fine.”

With that, they tramped down the alley, everyone trying to avoid the puddles except Pepper. Joanna's van was waiting for them at the end in all of its mustard-colored glory. Its trunk was full of bags and items that the Rev and Audrey and Roxelle and Joanna had packed up. Faith threw her bag in it as well. It landed right on top of everything else, sitting there like a ruler of sorts. It made her giggle, a sound she hadn't heard in a while.

They all squeezed into the van; Joanna driving, of course, the Rev in the passenger's seat, Pepper and Audrey in the middle, and Faith and Roxelle in the back.

“What's the address again, Faith?”

“Two seven eight zero Golthy Lane. It's a giant white house. You can't miss it.”

As they pulled away from the curb, Faith looked out at the old brick building. Ruby's spirit was still trapped inside there, dying, but there was no way to get in. The deed was done. Ruby was dead. And they had to move on.


“Is it this one?”

Faith looked out her window and saw, for the first time in a long time, the immaculate white house that stood tall and proud and strong, even after all the misfortune that happened inside it.

“This is it.”

“Wow.” Roxelle peered around Faith to get a peek at her house. “You must have been loaded.”

“Not really. My dad was a lawyer, but this house was foreclosed. They got it really cheap. We had it forever. This was the house I grew up in.”

“Yes? Can I help you?”

She was a small, elderly woman with the brightest blue eyes Faith had ever seen in her life. She knew how this must look; two adults, two young adults, a teenager, and a child standing on an old woman's doorstep in the rain with a yellow hippie van in the street.

“Hi, ma'am. My name is Faith Crosse. I used to live here. It's been a while since we've moved out, though. Six years or so, I think. Do you think I could come in and just look around?”

She seemed unsure, but overcame it when she looked at Faith. She must have looked lost, hurt, broken, tired, sad, earnest or something, because she opened her door farther.

It hit Faith like a wall. This front room, with the dark wood floors and unusable fireplace and thick, dusty, old rug and the huge staircase... it was all still here. She remembered walking down those stairs every morning, feeling like a princess every time. She remembered her father sitting in here in his armchair, reading the morning paper and drinking coffee. It struck her in the gut; she wasn't expecting this.

“Good morning, love,” her father said from his usual spot in front of the fireplace, which was, as always, void of any kind of flame.

“Good morning, Daddy,” she said, coming down the stairs slowly, dizzy from sleep. “Is Mommy making breakfast?”

“Yes, she is. Why don't you go help her out?”

She walked around into the living room. She remembered playing with her brother in this room at toddlers, vaguely. Her mother sitting on the sofa, dreaming her next paint expedition. Back when their parents still loved each other.

“Oh, Will, please be careful! She's younger than you. She's fragile.”

Will had just rammed his Tonka truck into Faith's foot, causing her to fall. He didn't grasp the concept that she was still little and more prone to injury than he was.

She kept walking, into the dining room. Dinners as a family, whether it was a home-cooked meal, courtesy of her mother, or takeout, courtesy of her father. They always ate in this room, together, a unit. Thanksgivings with aunts and uncles and cousins and grandmothers and grandfathers and others. Laughter and food and stories and football and so much happiness in this room.

“Faith, honey, why don't you play with your cousins?”

She looked over at them, miserable. “They're all littler than me or bigger than me. I'm stuck in the middle.” She pouted heartily, trying to win over her mother.

“Why don't you go see if Will will let you play with him and Joey over there?”

She looked over at her brother and their cousin, having a good time alone, without her.

Through the door and into the kitchen, where her mother made breakfast and dinner. Where she used to bang on pots and pans like some drummer that would be at Walkover today. Where she would hunt in the pantry for cookies that her mother always said weren't there, but always were. Where Will and herself played with a new kitten that only lived for three weeks and was buried in the backyard somewhere. Where muddy footprints would litter the floor after unexpected rain came to play when she and her brother were outside. Where food was constantly spilled on the floor.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, sweetie?”

“What will we call her?”

The small kitten twirled itself in and out of Faith's legs, it's soft fur making her giggle.

“What do you think?”

“We could call her Smokey, because she's gray.”

Will laughed from the counter, where he was sitting. “That's stupid. Let's call her Ferrari, like the car.”

“No! That's dumb! You can't name a kitty after a car! And, you should get off the counter. Tables are made for glasses, not for... bottoms.” She giggled as she replaced the naughty word.

Across the hall, the family room, where they watched movies and played games and jumped on the couch and Faith and her brother did school work. Where their father told bad jokes, but they all laughed anyway. Where their mother would crash on the couch after a long day of painting, with paint in her hair and on her face, too tired to bother with a shower until the next morning.

“Mommy?”

It was almost nine o'clock, well past her bedtime. Her mother hadn't come out of the studio yet, though, and she wasn't supposed to go in there and bother her unless she was going to paint herself.

Suddenly, her mother burst through the door and stumbled over to the couch, asleep before she even laid down. This happened a lot, especially when she was working on a big project. Instead of trying to wake her, an effort which was always fruitless, she trudged up the stairs and put herself to bed, hoping her father didn't notice.

There was a closed, locked door, right next to the stairs, but she didn't want to go in there just yet. She headed up the stairs, hearing them creak as she did so.

Will's bedroom, where she would often sneak in and steal something – a toy or something that he had stolen from her – and get yelled at. Where she would come in in the middle of the night and sit by his nightlight because hers wasn't strong enough to keep her safe. Where she was told to keep out when he became a teenager.

She knocked on the door carefully, her brother's music booming. After waiting a few seconds, she knocked again.

He pulled it open abruptly. “What, Faith?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to play with me.” She was starting to think that asking him was not a good idea anymore.

His jaw muscle twitched a little. “Go away. Stay out of my room. I don't want to play. I'm too old for playing.” Then he shut the door in her face with so much force that her hair blew back.

Down the hall a little ways, and there was her room. The striped walls of purple were gone, and replaced with a boring brown color, much like the rest of the home. It hadn't struck her before, the new color of the walls, but it did now. This was where she slept almost every night for fifteen or so years. Where she had a few friends over; only a few, very minimal, but they had still come into this room and had shared secrets and spread gossip and painted nails and eaten popcorn. Where she had cried over things beyond her control and within. Where her mother and herself talked for hours about stupid things and important things, things she didn't know and knew well, controversial things and things she just needed to say. Where she grew up.

She ran into her room and threw herself onto her bed, crying already. Her brother would laugh at her, being so emotional, but that was her kitten. She didn't care if she looked like a fool. Ziggy was her kitten.

A small knock on the door.

“Go away!” She yelled through her tears.

The door opened anyway. Her mother came in and sat down soundlessly, rubbing her back. Faith sat up and hugged her mother, crying over the kitten she had only loved for three weeks.

And, just across the hall, was her parent's bedroom. The door was closed, and she didn't know if she wanted to open it.

But she did, slowly and carefully.

This wide room, with a large, circular window on the other end, was where they slept when she wasn't on the couch. When they still loved each other. This was where she would come in during thunderstorms and crawl in between them, curling up with her mother. Where her brother and herself would run in on Christmas morning and urge them to wake up quickly and pull them downstairs to the giant tree and rip open gifts from the Santa she still believed in then.

The thunder cracked loudly as she untangled herself from her sheets and ran over to her parents' bedroom, hands over her ears. She ran around to the other side of the bed and tapped her mother until she rolled over and looked at her daughter.

“Are you scared, sweetie?”

Faith nodded vigorously.

“Come on, then. Get up here.”

She scurried up onto the bed and climbed into the middle, squeezing in between her father and her mother. She settled in, feeling safer than ever in this night while demons raged at each other outside in the dark.



They were all sitting in the living room, listening to the woman talk about something and trying to seem at least sort of interested.

“Hey, Faith!” Roxelle exclaimed. “Beverly was just telling us about when she bought the house from your brother.”

She nodded, not looking at Roxelle.

“Do you have the key to the room by the stairs?” She asked Beverly.

“Why, yes, I do. There's nothing down there but a few boxes and a lot of paint stains. I would use it for something, but at my age, the stairs don't appeal to me. That's why I got that chair that takes you up and down for the ones upstairs. I don't think I could clean up all of the paint down here, even if I wanted to. There's some on the ceiling! Can you believe it? The ceiling!”

Faith was only half listening as the woman went into the kitchen and opened a drawer which seemed to be full of junk. She produced a key, handing it to Faith.

“The boxes right at the bottom are mine. The ones farther in probably belong to you.”

Beverly smiled at Faith as she handed her the key. When she went back to the door, she found the Rev standing there, waiting.

“I was curious. Maybe your paintings are down there?”

“If they're here, that's where they would be.” She took a breath and put the key in the door, turning it until there was an audible click, then swinging it toward her, revealing many stairs to the dark basement of the house.

At the base of the stairs, Faith pulled the chain, which turned on a small light bulb. There were many boxes stacked against the wall, but she walked right past them. She went through the doorway and flicked the switch on the wall.

The old lights buzzed on, and it was like being transported back in time. The paneling on the wall, the concrete floor, everything matted with paint of every color. There were indeed boxes in this room too, stacked tall so she could not reach the top.

“Rev?”

“Hmm?” He was hesitating back at the doorway.

“Do you think you could reach these up top?”

He came over and obliged. They weren't that heavy. As soon as the Rev got them down, she tried to tear open the packing tape with her bare hands, but to no avail.

“I'm going to run upstairs and get some scissors, all right? I'll be right back.”



“Beverly! Do you have an scissors?”

“Check the drawer!”

Faith assumed that she meant the same one she had retrieved the keys from. She rummaged around and found some. Then she sprinted back down the stairs, not recalling her mother's rule about running with scissors at that moment.


She tore open box after box, finding brushes, palettes, paints, canvas, sketchbooks... all of them empty.

“She never got a chance to fill these...”

The Rev took down another box. “Keep going. They're in here somewhere.”

She kept going. The Rev had taken down all the boxes. They were all around the room, none stacked, so she could open them easily. She found some half-finished pieces by her mother. They were getting older and older, and eventually she found the abstract piece she did right before they died. She held it up for the Rev to see.

“This is mine. The most recent one. I was eleven.”

He took it and looked it over. “This is really good. What does it mean?”

She laughed as she opened another box. “My mother always said not to tell what a painting means; let the person decide, because that's what gives it the appeal – all that mystery.”

More and more paintings, small ones by her mother and by herself. Then, she found two sketchbooks, labeled “FAITH LILIAN CROSSE” and “WILLIAM JOSEPH CROSSE JR.” She set aside the one with her brother's name on it and opened the one with her own on the cover.

A drawing of her face as an infant, signed by her mother and dated back seventeen years ago. She flipped through quickly. She never knew these existed before now.

Her baby feet.

Her baby eyes.

Her toddler body, wobbling in vain attempts to walk.

Her smiling face, smeared with some sort of liquid food.

They kept going, showing her in various stages of growth. The last one was of her reading a book, laying out on the rug, in front of the fireplace. Her face was scrunched up in concentration. That was the last one, followed by a dozen blank pages.

She hugged the sketchbook to her chest. “Can you open the rest, please, Rev?”

He took one look at her and took the scissors, tearing through packing tape with ease. Faith didn't even look at the paintings until he opened the last box and took out the watercolor painting she had done what seemed like a lifetime ago.

“Oh my God...”

“Is this the first one?”

She nodded and took it, looking at all her hard work spilled out onto this canvas. With a critic's eyes, she knew that it wasn't that spectacular, but with an emotional eye, this painting meant the world to her.



“Thank you so much, Beverly. All the others are yours to keep or not to keep.” Faith shook the woman's faded, wrinkled hand in earnestness as they prepared to leave.

“Put them under your shirt so they don't get ruined, okay?”

She nodded and did just that. Then, she gave one last wave and ran through the rain to the van. She took a seat next to Roxelle and pulled the works out from under her shirt, holding them in her lap.

“Where to now?” Joanna asked.

“Let's get out of here. I told Dmitri before that I wouldn't be able to call. He won't miss me that much. Let's go somewhere else. Somewhere where we can make new memories.”

Joanna put the car in gear and pulled away from the curb, driving away from that house. Faith hoped she would never see it again.

The rain fell harder and harder the more they drove, but that van was full of laughter and hope and love. She knew that those people in that van at that moment made up her family. And family is forever, whether you know it or not. But she knew. She knew that family was so much more than people. It's not the amount of people, either, or the money the people made, or even how much they loved each other or hated each other. It was how you knew you could come home and feel like, yes, I belong here.

“I don't think I've ever been down here before.”

Pepper had no idea where they were headed. Faith stood tall, trying not to get so lost in her own world as to forget where she was headed and that she had a companion.

“This was where I met your mom and dad. Well, your dad first, which led me to meeting your mom and you.”

Pepper's age had only increased her beauty. She looked exactly like Audrey, but with Twitch's green eyes.

It was coming up fast. “I'll probably cry, just so you know.”

“It's okay. I won't laugh.”

Faith stopped in her tracks.

There she was.

The Ruby Room.

Her windows were still boarded up, doors still locked, but there was something that wasn't a sheet of paper plastered to the door.

It was a white cross with flowers tied to it. Faith approached and read what was written on it.

Here lies Ruby,

who made our hearts beat

and heads spin

when we thought all was lost.

“Wow.”

“Aunt Faith, look over here.”

She turned to see Pepper studying the graffiti on the wall. There was a lot of it, many saying things that had been said at the rally all those years ago. As she read the words of those who knew Ruby's kindness and acceptance, she heard the faint echo of the music that used to be her heartbeat.

“What was this place?”

“This was the Ruby Room, before it was closed down. Do you remember when you met your dad for the first time? You were about nine, I think.”

Pepper didn't nod or shake her head. “I'm not sure. I probably do, just not at the moment.”

“Well, it happened around that time. You and your parents were living up there, and I was too, and Roxelle and Joanna.”

“Roxelle and Joanna go that far back?”

She nodded. “Yes, they did. Roxelle came out on the news, too, of all places, because of the controversy Ruby was stirring. But, anyway, cops pulled up early in the morning and we came down and wouldn't move out of their way. Of course, there were more of us, like Adie and others. They used force to get us behind barricades. Maybe you remember because you were hit with pepper spray?”

Pepper tried to remember. “Maybe...? I'm not sure.”

“But then, they closed her down. It was fast and final. And no one knew what the hell to do! We were just so shocked that it would happen that soon. We had plans; so many. We were going to team up with Walkover, the club that Dmitri belonged to. It's closed now, too, but for financial reasons. They got a new manager that everyone hated because he censored the music and it was just... bad. Ask Dmitri about it when we get back. I remember people just leaving because it was over. They just gave up on her. It was insane.”

“The Ruby Room meant a lot to you?”

“Oh, yeah. She meant the world to me. She took me in when I was hurting. My brother was being an ass, and she helped me feel better.”

Pepper sighed and turned to stare at the graffiti wall again. “She must have been special to you. You named your daughter after her.”

“Only her nickname.”

“Still.” She looked up at the rickety, rusty fire escape leading up to that old window. “Can we go up to the apartment?”

“After eight years? That fire escape wasn't even safe when it was built.”

“Sometime?”

“Just not today. Come on.”


“We're back!” Pepper called as soon as they walked through the door.

Dmitri looked up from playing with his six-month-old daughter. “Ruby, look. It's Mommy.”

Faith came over and bent down to kiss her baby. “Hi, Ruby.”

The infant giggled.

“Have fun on your girl's night out?”

“Yeah,” Pepper said, walking by and helping her little brother, Damien, set the table. He was about eight now, born just after Ruby closed down. Someday, his mother and father would tell him about that giant piece of their life, just like they had told Pepper when she was ready, and how Faith would tell her daughter when she was ready.

But Rebecca, or Ruby, as she was always called, and Damien were not the only new additions to the family. Joanna and Roxelle had adopted twins, two boys. They were around two, having their birthday soon, and were mostly likely in the kitchen with their mothers and uncle.

Faith walked in and saw the boys sitting on the Rev's lap and laughing hysterically at him. They saw Faith and pointed, talking in gibberish. Anyone who didn't know them would never be able to tell them apart, but as Faith walked over, she knew who was Tyler and who was Sam. Sam's eyes were slightly darker and Tyler's nose was a little bit crooked.

“You guys ready to have a party for the Rev?” She asked, even though they couldn't really understand her that well. All they picked up was “Rev”.

“Wev! Wev!” They shouted, bouncing on his lap.

“Please don't get them worked up. They were so calm before.” Joanna said as she put steaming food onto serving plates as Roxelle, who had never stopped going by Roxelle, took them to put on the table.

“Rev! Get in there, now! Go!” Roxelle shouted as she opened the refrigerator. He put the boys down, who immediately attacked his legs, sitting on his feet and clinging to his legs. He walked out of the room with them attached.

Joanna grabbed a packet of candles from a drawer and said, “Faith, grab a lighter, would you, please?”

She did so and as Joanna placed four candles on the cake, she lit them. She laughed at what was written.

“Wait! Is Monroe here yet?”

“She texted me a few minutes ago. She's waiting to come in as we're singing. You didn't lock the door, right?”

“No.”

“All right, hit the lights and we'll be right in.”


Two highchairs and eight chairs, all gathered around one table. It was cramped, but no one really minded. After all, it was the Rev's birthday. When all the babies were situated in their chairs, Faith hit the light and went to sit by her husband and child.

“Ready? Here we go!”

They began with the first verse as Joanna and Roxelle walked in, holding the cake. The second came as they set it down. And who should walk through the door at that exact moment?

Monroe.

“Happy birthday, Rev!” She wailed, her boyfriend Braden following close behind, smiling shyly.

They finished the song as the Rev hugged Monroe.

“Blow out the candles!” Damien exclaimed. “Hurry, before they melt the frosting off! That's the best part, Papa!”

With one quick whistle, the candles were extinguished and the lights on. The Rev took one look at the cake and laughed. “Monroe! You remember this?”

The only thing everyone's got in common is that they're all going to die. Make every day count like it's your last.

She laughed as well. “How could I forget?”

Joanna pulled up two more chairs from nowhere, telling Monroe and Braden to take a seat and have some cake. “It's homemade.”

She cut pieces for everyone. Faith took Ruby, who was half-done with her bottle, from Dmitri and finished feeding her.

“I can't believe our dear Rev is turning forty!” Monroe exclaimed. She feigned crying, pretending to be overcome with emotion.

“Shh!” He hissed jokingly.

Damien, who had already scarfed down his piece of cake, shouted, “Present time!”

Pepper stood and ran out of the room, up the stairs. No one questioned it. Roxelle picked up a card and a small bag from underneath the table and handed it across to the Rev.

“From us and the boys.”

He read the front of the card. “'That's your cake?'” Then he opened it and laughed. “'Talk about global warming!' That's funny. 'Love, Roxy, Jo, Ty, and Sam.'” He put his hand into the bag and pulled out a picture frame, containing a black and white photo of himself being tackled by Sam and Tyler. He was laughing in the picture, and so were the twins. It was an excellent photo.

“Wow. I love this picture. Thanks, dolls.” Something the Rev had never given up: his nicknames.

Monroe handed him a small box. “We don't have a card, but I figure that it's excusable. What else could I have to possibly say to you that I haven't already?”

He smiled at her and took the top off of the box. Resting inside was a small, circular silver ornament on the end of a silver chain. When he held it up, Faith could see the letters “RST” engraved on it, with a heart overlapping the top part of the “s”.

“Oh my God, Monroe. This is... perfect.”

“Since you don't wear that cross anymore, I figured you might as well have something.” She smiled sheepishly as the Rev slipped it over his head. It hung around his neck like it belonged there.

They all turned to look at Faith, who was in the middle of getting Ruby to burp. As she continued to pat her baby's back, she spoke.

“Not only did we name our daughter Rebecca Audrey Johnston, and nickname her Ruby, but we also...” Ruby burped and interrupted Faith. She set the baby on her lap. “We also taught her her first words. Ruby, who do you love?”

In slightly slurred English, the baby said, “Mama.” When Faith asked her again, she said, “Dada.” When asked again, she said, “Ev.”

The Rev was skeptical at first. “Did she say 'Rev'?”

“We think that's what it was. We're not sure.”

“Oh my God, she knows my name!” He reached out for the infant, and Faith handed her over across Dmitri's lap. “You're so smart!” He said, talking to the baby, who smiled and giggled.

“Goodness, boys,” Joanna said, rising from her chair with napkins in her fist. “Can't you ever eat food without getting it all over your faces?”

They laughed some more as Pepper came down the stairs, her acoustic guitar in hand.

“My turn!” She exclaimed.

She went to sit on the floor, behind her father and Dmitri. She began to strum a nice, pleasant tune.

“No one sees the things he's done. No one knows how much he's helped.” Faith hadn't heard Pepper sing since her solo at her fifth grade choir concert, when she got so nervous she ran offstage and another girl had to do it.

“No one can tell what pain he's healed. But I see what wonder lies within him.”

She changed chords. “He's seen it all, though he's never far from home. He's said all that's needed, and never said it wrong. He means the world to so many people, but mostly to me. My dad's the best at love.”

Her voice had a pure, sweet quality to it. At the same time, it was electrifying, just like her father's voice.

“He's the first to calm a crying baby. He's the first to heal a scraped-up knee. He's the first to say that's it's okay. He's the first to stop the fight. Maybe no one will see it, but at least I will know.” She sang the chorus again, her eyes focused on the guitar so she wouldn't mess up.

“I don't know how I went so long without knowing someone as good as you. I don't know how there could have been so little communication.” Her voice became louder on the word “communication”, then went back to normal. “I don't know how she left you for so long, because I wouldn't have been able to stay away.”

Faith looked at Audrey, sitting beside Damien and Monroe. Her hand was covering her mouth as she listened to her daughter sing.

“He's seen it all, though he's never far from home. He's said all that's needed, and never said it wrong. He means the world to so many people, but mostly to me. My dad's the best at love. Yes, he's the best at love, because he loves me.”

As she came to a close, the whole table began to clap. “Happy birthday, Dad.” She stood and hugged her dad with one arm, holding guitar with the other hand.

“Thank you, baby. That was awesome.”


Ruby had long since fallen asleep on the Rev's lap, which seemed to always be the prime spot for every child to fall asleep. Faith had tried to get him to give her up, but he refused hr, saying that it was fine.

Ty and Sam had fought the drowsiness for a little while, but they had drifted off and Roxelle and Joanna took them up to their rooms. Damien was awake, but barely. They were talking in quiet voices, telling stories to Pepper that she wouldn't have remembered and some to Faith that she never knew. There was hushed laughter, sleeping children, and happy people. And everyone belonged here.