Chapter 1: Those Who Live, Go to Hell

No one really seemed to care. It's like my mom's boyfriend's dog, Mia, issue. She barks at me because she hates me. As soon as I feed her, she loves me until I stop. That's how it is in life. Especially in mine. From friends to teachers to family...I was the rejected kid that someone left of the stairs of an orphanage. That's probably what my mother was thinking when I was born.
"You're so smart. You need to apply yourself!"
"When are you going to grow up?"
"Get your nose out of those books!"
"Why are you looking at sites during class?"
Yup. I constantly disappointed family and other adults non-important in my life. Why? Because I'm a computer whiz. And who am I? Rosalina, aka Cyber Girl. Everyone else, who knows me, or well Cyber Girl, knows I am spunky, courageous, smart, and funny.
So why am I standing right next to my crush, we'll call him Him for now, and not saying anything as I lamely peer into my locker? Because Rosalina is shy. No one even knows who Rosalina Luna Mythria is. However, they know who Cyber Girl is. What Cyber Girl has done. The snide, sassy comments. The under-the-breath-cyber-whispers. Everyone seems to know what goes on in Cyber Girl's life.

Except me. And I am Cyber Girl. Why the hell do I not know what goes on in my own life?

Those that do know me as me, know that I never do anything wrong and that I am always listening to those above me. Who can ever say anything wrong about me?

Well, that is...if you consider me portraying myself as a quiet goody-two-shoe. Then, yeah. I get some tough criticism.


Anyways, back to Him. The situation with Him is actually quite unique, and he is the only one who knows that I am Cyber Girl, really. No, I think I should start from the beginning from what exactly happened to Him, and why I am now lamely peering into my locker like a freak I really am.

****
With the wind blowing through my blue hair, I saw Him. He's actually quite cute. I've heard about him through my friend Emily. I didn't know what exactly he was like. But I think today was going to be my lucky day. I've finally built up the courage to talk to Him about things that include being more than friends.

Quite shyly, I approached Him, the bottoms of my converse squishing in the crunchy, white snow. Even though it was freezing cold outside, I wore ripped tights, a purple-skulled skirt, and Black Veil Brides short sleeve shirt. I was quiet and but quite rocker. I guess you could say I am Punk-Chic. My hair is dyed bluer than blue, and my eyes are always lined with the darkest black.

Today was different. I was finally going to speak to Him. I wanted to tell him how I feel. Pulling on his Aero sleeve, I looked up at him. I wasn't short, but he was definitely taller than me. With his melting, chocolate eyes turning to meet my mysterious blue hues, I smiled to him as he hugged me.

"Rosalina! I haven't seen you in forever! How have you been? I really need to get your number or Facebook. Something." he smiled at me. I was getting lost in his eyes. Little did he know that his eyes were melting into my brain and I was slowing having butterflies be created in the depths of my stomach.

"I know, I know. But...Um..." Get it over with, Rosalina! "Do you want to go out on a date some time? That's mainly what I am approaching you for. I just...well, not a date but..." I started to ramble like I always do when I get nervous around guys I like.

Time seemed to stand still. It was all quiet, and not even a bird chirped. Finally, He had a big smile on his face. "Sure, Rosalina. Let's go to the Blend." The Blend was a coffee shop, and the school's most known hook-up spot, and even a place to go smoke. I haven't been there, even though I do smoke every once in a while, but still. I don't have many friends. Agreeing, I smiled to him. It was a date.

Sunday rolled around. He had work, but he got off at two and we meet at the Blend at three. I was wearing my usual, and he was too, but this time he smelled like pasta. He worked at an Italian restaurant, so he almost always smelled like pasta, freshly baked bread, and pizza.

"You smell like pasta." I giggled, sniffing his button-up shirt. It was the best smell I could have ever smelled.

"Really?" he whined, lifting up his shirt slighting to get a whiff. "I swear to God. I showered, like, twice."

"No, no. It's fine." A hand stroked his muscular chest. "I like it." A giggle erupted from my pale lips. So innocent I was. So clueless. So vulnerable to his touch. To the sound of his voice. To everything he and I ever lived for. I wish we would've stayed like that much, much longer.

Turning to me, he smiled softly, his coarse hands stroking the very threads of my locks. "Shall we go in?" he whispered softly into my ear. With a nod, he tugged me along until we got inside, his arm slung across my shoulders. Peering shyly down, I kept to myself as he pulled the arm off to pull out his wallet. Turning to the cashier, he smiled and leaned himself over the counter, fingering the twenty in the pocket of his wallet. He didn't need to ask me what I wanted; he already knew what I liked and disliked. It's an amazement to me how he knows me so well. He says he's observed me during lunch as I eat his table. Strawberries, chocolate. So either way, I really do like both.

As our order came, he grabbed both and led me by my hand to a table in the back, where we could have our quietness. Like a gentleman, he pulled my chair pack and pushed it forward when I sat on it. The Blend wasn't very crowded, and modern music was playing its way from the speakers hooked up to the ceiling. Shyly, I sipped my strawberry smoothie, just enjoying the moment that was here. There were feelings growing, and his hand twitched slightly before slowly moving itself on top of my own.

"Your hands...they're cold." He whispered softly, stroking the bumps of my knuckles. My dragon tattoo peeked out from under my sleeve and he pushed it back slightly. "No way! A Komodo tattoo? Dang, I didn't know you even had any." Yeah, for 16 I have a lot of piercings and tattoos. It symbolizes who I am inside.

Smirking, I pulled my sleeve back down, covering it. My eyes would not gaze to him; the love was unrequited. He wanted to see my blue gems, and I wished to keep them in the mine, hidden from human view. Seeing my discomfort, he quickly took my empty drink and his, threw it away, and tugged my sleeve, pulling me up. "Come on," he cooed, "I want to show you something." He put his face close to mine, his breath tickling my porcelain skin.

His house was not far away, so we walked there, hand-in-hand. “Está frio!” he yelled. Chuckling, I turned to him. I knew what language it was; Portuguese. This man spoke Portuguese? Oh, be still my beating heart! Thump. Thump. I knew he knew what he was doing to me, but I don't think he cared.

"What did you just say?" I asked, stifling a laugh. His tongue seemed to make everything sound sexy and smooth, as if he didn't have to try.

"I said, 'It's cold!'. I'm part Brazilian, and in Brazil, everything is hot and warm." Turning to me, he pulled me extremely close as we approached his house. "...And in Brazil...all the women are extremely sexual.." He whispered, smirking just a bit. Within minutes, he pulled me inside, straight to his room, gently laid me on the bed and...

*****
Snapping out of my flashback, I found Him smiling at me as he leaned himself against my locker. It's been two weeks since the date, and all we ever do is have sex. We're not even dating; we're friends with benefits. My idea? No. Did I reject? No. Did I even agree to it? No. I merely lay there and take it like the big girl I am. Now, I am not a whore; don't get me wrong but seriously. He pulls me along for the ride. Literally.

I would know. Don't ask, please. Just, please. Does this make me a bad person because He is probably the only guy that will ever look my way? This whole...Friends With Benefits thing is really unhealthy for the both of us. He wants to date...just, not me. Men are utterly confusing.
When no one was around, he pulled me closer to him, until I felt his breath hot on my neck. Why does he torture me so? Is this my punishment for falling in love with a guy who even I know can never love me back? This has to be it. I knew what he was doing.

He was using me. Why wasn’t I rejecting him? I deserved oh so much better, but my lips said nothing and only connected with his. His musk was so addictive; it was like he was my drug.

No.

I need to get away.

Now. Before it’s too late.

Trying to pull away, he just pulled me closer, smirking innocently. “Where you trying to go, beautiful?” he whispered, playing with the necklace around my neck, his hand slowly sliding down my cleavage. “It’s Valentine’s Day. Don’t be like this.” True, it was.

But that meant nothing right now. I’m starting to suggest to myself that maybe he and I like this might not be the best thing. I couldn’t resist him. Sighing, I let him pull me by the hand to the choir staircase by the gym. He then pulled me into a dark corner, pushing me slightly against it. He forcefully kissed me, my arms wrapping around his neck. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone. A teacher? No. Too tall for a teacher. A male. His eyes seemed to look as if he were apologizing, while mine were begging to be saved.

“No…stop. I’m going to be late for class.” I tried to push him away. I needed to get away before I let him use me even more.

He did not listen. He kept using me the way he wanted. I kept trying to push him with fail.

Suddenly, there was nothing but air between him and I. Looking to see what had happened. The guy that was watching had pulled him off me.

“She said no.” The guy said calmly. He had long, shaggy brown hair, streaked with blonde. He was tall, and seemed intimidating, but I could tell by his aura that he was very nice. He took his spot in front of me, as if guarding me.

He was on the floor, his eyes angry, and his nostrils flaring. “Who is the hell is this, Rosalina? Your new boy toy?” He stood up, but the guy saving made no movement. He just continued to stand in front of me, protecting. Waiting.

Suddenly, His fist flew, but my protector grabbed his wrist and twisted it, a cry exploding from His lips.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” my protector said gently, slowly twisting more. Cries erupted, high-pitched now. “so run along.”

Face red, He pulled away and ran off, but gave me one last glare before He pushed the door open, heading back. As soon as He was gone, the guy turned to me, putting his hands on either side my face. He examined me, as if seeing to make sure I was okay.

“He didn’t hurt you, right?” asked my savior.

I gave a shake of my head.

“Want me to get the nurse?”

Another shake.

“Want to cry?”


A nod.


He took me into his arms and I cried; hard. I didn’t know this stranger, but I felt so safe around him, and I don’t even know why. It was as if he knew everything about me and just wanted to protect me. He didn’t move, even if I wiped my nose on his jacket by accident. I tried to apologize, but he waved me off.

This guy was an absolute angel. For once, I felt like I could be myself and not have anyone breathe down my back. Still towering over me, he stroked my hair, the other hand on my heaving back as I sobbed. He waited until I slowed and then came to a stop, hiccupping some.

Pulling his water bottle from his pocket, he handed to me. “Drink. It’ll make you feel better.” With a nod, I took a small sip, my eyes red and puffy from crying. I looked like a little kid. Looking up at him, he gave a small smile.

“Do you want to talk about that little incident that just happened there?” he asked, slowly sitting me down. He sat next to me, letting me drink his water.

“He just…” I couldn’t finish. It was too painful. I knew He would be mad next time I saw him. Oh, this day couldn’t get any worse. Handing his water back, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “What time is it?”

Checking his watch that laid on his wrist, I saw a few scars. I said nothing as he told me the time. Not even listening, I just nodded. I think I missed my fourth hour, but I really don’t care because I dislike gym so much. It’s not like they would care if I ‘skipped’ it. I will just say I was in the nurse. She likes me.

Getting him, he wiped off the dust from his pants. “Will you be okay here to calm down?” he asked me, smiling softly. I knew he didn’t want to leave me but he had to get to class, too. Nodding, I stood and wiped my pants off as well.

“No, I better get to my fifth hour class. I can’t miss another hour; otherwise they’ll think I’m up to no good. I wasn’t doing anything bad even. I was just having a minor break down. But, hey. Who cared? Well, I guess you could say that this knight in front of me did.

Sadly, I didn’t know his name. I contemplated asking my mysterious savior his name.

Finally building up some courage, I looked up to ask, but there was nothing left of him. I was all alone.



End of Chapter 1.
Chapter 2 to be done soon!