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Call Me Charlie

June 15, 2012
By luv2bLDS BRONZE, Peoria, Arizona
More by this author
luv2bLDS BRONZE, Peoria, Arizona
4 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough.

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Summary:

Charlotte is an imaginative young girl who can take on the entire world with only her mouth. But once she is forced to move to a small town in Idaho where the only other person living on her street is just as sarcastic and quick with words as herself, Charlotte finds knee-deep in a hostile "frenemy" relationship. As the war of words prolongs, Charlotte learns that Logan has a secret hidden behind his crocodile smile. Can they come to peace at last, or will bitter words be the only memories left?

Tags: FriendsSchoolDeath/lossHealth

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 14 comments.

ImAKeeper SILVER said...
on Aug. 7 2013 at 12:24 pm
ImAKeeper SILVER, Missouri City, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.&quot;- William Ernest Henley

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I thought this was really great! I usually try to aviod novels but this was the perfect size! I didn't feel like it dragged on at all. I loved the way you developed the character! I agree with Gecko in that you could've used crocodile a little less to describle Logan's smile but other than that, it was perfect! The ending was absolutely fitting and worked like a charm (: It was filled with comedy, a dash of romance, and some sadness as well! I loved it! Well done! And please keep writing! (:
Gecko GOLD said...
on Oct. 26 2012 at 6:55 pm
Gecko GOLD, Lafayette, Oregon
11 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;When all else fails, make your character fall down a hole,&quot; -Libba Bray, at Powell&#039;s in Portland, Oregon

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I really loved this! I don't think you could have done better with the ending, so great job with that. I have one suggestion: try not to use 'crocodile' to many times when describing logan's smile. That's it, though! You did an amazing job with this, and didn't make it to predictable or cliche
luv2bLDS BRONZE said...
on Oct. 26 2012 at 6:49 pm
luv2bLDS BRONZE, Peoria, Arizona
4 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough.

View profile
Thanks so much! :)
shinegirl24 BRONZE said...
on Oct. 22 2012 at 6:14 pm
shinegirl24 BRONZE, Grand Rapids, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;All, everything I understand, I understand only because I love.&quot; Leo Tolstoy

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Hi. Let me just say that you did a phenominal job with this. I mean it; you created a really engaging story. I liked all the plot twists you put in there, it really captured my attention, and your writing style suited this story perfectly. So awesome job, and keep writing!
. said...
on Oct. 12 2012 at 12:10 am
I really enjoyed it!  I do have one suggestion though.   I think it needs a little more detail when she is stuck in the hole.  For example, you could say that the wood is, say, mahogoney.  But other than that, I loved it!
. said...
on Oct. 11 2012 at 11:58 pm
Is this girl talented or what?!
. said...
on Oct. 11 2012 at 11:56 pm
I told you it was awesome.  Super_Mario_Prose agrees with me.  And sorry,  Mario, but I read it first.  I'm in her class ;)
luv2bLDS BRONZE said...
on Jun. 26 2012 at 11:52 pm
luv2bLDS BRONZE, Peoria, Arizona
4 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough.

View profile
Thank you so much, especially for the suggestions! :)
Devalara PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 26 2012 at 11:01 pm
Devalara PLATINUM, Landenberg, Pennsylvania
21 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Would you kindly?&quot; ~ Bioshock

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Annnnnd... DONE. Yay! First commenter to have read the whole thing!  ;)

 

Anyways I think a 'congrats' is in order. CONGRATS...!

 

I looked at the novel, eyeing the number of chapters that slowly climbed up to ten and was like 'oh no, this is going to be long'. But it really wasn't. I found myself forgetting about teenink entirely and simply letting my mind take me through the emotional mountains and revenes of a girl faced with uncontrolable changes, and most of all, 'that annoying kid Logan'...! You are a very good writer!

 

Oh and I like the ending. I've never been good at emotional 'stuff' (for lack of a better word) and you pulled it off nicely ;)

 

My only quick critique is that you describe Logan's grin as 'crocodile' (nice use of words by the way) too many times. You can do it every so often but you might want to change it up a little (maybe a 'crooked' grin or a 'crawling' smile...?)

Oh, and one more thing. I totally agree with you on the snakes. Eww! I mean, even 'Indiana Jones' is afraid of snakes  :P

 

Anyways good job ;)

luv2bLDS BRONZE said...
on Jun. 23 2012 at 7:02 pm
luv2bLDS BRONZE, Peoria, Arizona
4 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough.

View profile
Actually, it was a dog in the first scene...but that's ok. :P I did have to take out some details because of a page limit for my creative writing class. Although I do believe mentioning that Charlie found a snake on her kitchen counter...if not, well, I've edited and rewritten this so many times that I can't remember what I kept and deleted. Thanks for the ideas and suggestions! Very much appreciated!
KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jun. 23 2012 at 6:40 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

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Lol, im still in the middle (3rd chapter currently) and I like it! it's different! 

However, I wish there was some more internal descriptions (like why she had a phobia... an accident like Dudley's perhaps? lol... Maybe you could explain how she felt when people called her "charlie".... )

Also, why did she call it "a mutated rat?" snakes arent like rats at all... lol

but so far, so good! ill keep reading when I get back from this grad party Im going to!

luv2bLDS BRONZE said...
on Jun. 22 2012 at 6:21 pm
luv2bLDS BRONZE, Peoria, Arizona
4 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough.

View profile
Thank you so much! Actually, Charlie's phobia of snakes was my contribution to her character. She's a lot like me, just more...melodramatic. But her reaction to the snake was, sadly a personal experience :P
luv2bLDS BRONZE said...
on Jun. 22 2012 at 6:21 pm
luv2bLDS BRONZE, Peoria, Arizona
4 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough.

View profile
Thank you so much! Actually, Charlie's phobia of snakes was my contribution to her character. She's a lot like me, just more...melodramatic. But her reaction to the snake was, sadly a personal experience :P
Allicat001 SILVER said...
on Jun. 22 2012 at 2:39 pm
Allicat001 SILVER, Waukesha, Wisconsin
6 articles 0 photos 170 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Love is not someone you can live with, love is someone you can&#039;t live without.&quot; <br /> <br /> &quot;Always stand up for what&#039;s right even if that means you&#039;re standing alone.&quot;

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I've read about three and a half chapters of your novel so far and I love it:)  I can totally relate to Charlie's phobia of snakes and I love the rivalry between Charlie and Logan.  My only word of advice would be to go more in depth in describing Charlie's emotions throughout.  You have a ton of talent, great job and keep writing!