I'm going to tell you about my family, it's me my dad and my sister. My mom passed away when I was ten years old, dad works at a industry of some kind and my sister is twenty and is about to move out. My sister means a lot to me, she's really supportive and has helped me trough a lot. We always do things together other sister just fight about. She comes to the soccer field with me though she doesn't like soccer. Her name is Emma, she's about 172 cm long and has long golden hair.
”So tomorrow is the big day then” she said when I came home from practise and walked into the kitchen to get something to drink.
”yes it is” I took some juice from the fridge and drank it all up at once.
”Are you nervous?” she asked.”no not yet, are you and dad going to come watch?” I wasn't sure cause dad had much work, he worked really hard to get money for us, he wasn't home much.
”yes but we are going to be a bit late, I'm going to pick dad up from work and then we'll come as fast as possible, dad wouldn't miss it for the world you know.” I knew dad was really proud of me and my soccer, but sometimes it just hurt when he wasn't there watching my games.
”I know” I said.
Dad came home at 08.00 pm.”Hi we made some food, it's in the fridge” I said when he came into the kitchen.”Have you drunk enough now Jen? And have you eaten and stretched?” Dad knew how to prepare for a long sport day, he had been a very good runner but he stopped after he met mum and she got pregnant.”Yes dad I have and I will go sleep now so that I'm not tired tomorrow, good night” I went upstairs to my room, my room is filled whit soccer and geographic things. Yes it's a odd combination but I'm really interested in geographic. I started packing my bag for tomorrow and I started to feel the butterflies in my belly now.
”Well it's going to be fine, dad and Emma will be there to watch just do what you have trained to do” I told myself and I fell asleep half an hour later after my thoughts had stopped talking.

I woke up at 08.00 am next morning and got up immediately. This is the big day, this is where my story took a turn. I went downstairs, my sister was int the kitchen making breakfast.
”Good morning! Are you nervous already?” she handed me some salad she had made.
”I think I am, I'm not even hungry” I put the salad aside and took a glass of water.
”okay well I'm off to work, dad already left I will pick him up at 12.00 and come and watch the second game. I watched her go. When the door shut I really started to feel the butterflies in my belly. I went upstairs to pack down the food, I have already packed all my clothes yesterday. It was still a hour left before the bus left. I took my iPod and started listening to music, it really helped. I went down and ate my salad, still listening to music. Time flew by and suddenly it was only ten minutes left, I had to run down to the bus stop. It took a hour and a half to drive there, we got off the bus to find that there was so much people that we had to hold on to each other. We got to the changing rooms, and changed into our outfits. Our outfits were yellow and blue, I'm number 5 and the captain of the team. Our coach came to the changing room.
”okay girls this is it, this is no practise, this is the real thing, this is where you show them what you are made of!” he started giving out our positions and strategies for the first game against Italy.
”Everybody knows where there places are? Good! Then we are going out and start the worm ups!” I was on my way outside when coach said
”Jen! Wait, can I have a word?” I was a bit sruprised and didn't know what it was about
”Yes whats up?”
”You know the coaches of the national team are watching?” I nodded. ”Well I think you really can get to that level, I have seen you out there it's like nothing in the world could stop you from doing what you love! I told them to take a look at you, so do what you have trained to do for these 10 years you've played!”
”thank you coach, I will do my best!” I went outside and joined the worm ups.The whistle blew and coach told us to gather around.
”Now girls go and get them!” we formed a ring and put our hands together and yelled ”SWEDEN” and we went on the field. I shook hands with the other team captain and the judge. The wistle blew again and the game started, Italy had the ball and they moved very smooth and passed perfectly. In one of our trainings we had a man who taught us to take the control of a situation.
”Look for the little mistake and the ball is yours” That's what the man had told us, I watched the ball carefully and saw how the player moved whit the ball,”look for the mistake...” And there it was, I put my foot between the players leg just in time to get the ball and take the control. I moved forward and passed to the other striker and she took a shot and there it was, in the upper left corner, a perfect goal in just five minutes of game play. So did the whole first game continue, until the time was over and we had won 5-0.
”great job girls! I'm so proud of you all!”coach said when we had shook hands with the other team. We had two hours to the next game, I ate a banana and then we started talking about the next game against France, the team that has gotten the best scores of the season.
”These girls are going to be tough! These are the sort of girls that have played as a team a their life, so here is the plan...” he gave our positions, ”Jen you're going as a only striker in this game.”
”what? But I have never played alone striker!” coach looked at me with some sort of disappointment in his eyes ”maybe you haven't but now you are, I know you can play rough and think fast you're going to be fine!” we went to warm up again, what was going trough my mind then was something like this : ”okay you can do this only striker! And remember that dad and Emma are watching you!”
The other team came out to the warm up field to.
”oh my god! They are SO big!” I heard a girl say from our team.The France team girls were actually really big, this was going to be a tough game.
The whistle blew again and before I knew it I was shaking hands with the captain and judge. The game begun. We got the ball first but lost it almost immidiately.
”concentrate girls!” I heard coach yell.
”I've never seen a team move this fast” I thought to myself ”find the mistake!” I yelled to my team, but these were to fast before even three minutes had passed they were leading 0-1.The game went on our defence hold, but we hadn't got a single ball over the middle yet, then I saw my chance when one of the french came running I saw that she took so big steps that if I attack in just the right time I can get the ball, and I did. I started running up, there was nobody I could pass to the french were holding everybody.
”You can get trough yourself!” I told myself and took a chance, I dribbled passed one,two and even a third and I shot, it felt like the ball went slow motion, the goalkeeper guessed I would shoot up in the corner but I shot down in the corner and I scored!
Just before the whistle blew and it was halftime.
”Great Jen! Perfect timing and the goal keeper had no chance!” coach said when the team gathered around. The other half begun and it was like the french gave it all they got, they came fast, hard and wasn't afraid of pushing. We kept our defense in 15 minutes but then one of the french knocked over one of our players and she had to be taken off the field. The french scored 2-1, they shot from distant nobody was ready for it. The time went and soon there was only five minutes left. ”find the mistake, find the mistake , there IS no mistake!” I needed to get the ball somehow so I took a chance and started playing rough instead. I got the ball and the judge didn't whistle, there was one minute left I ran and ran I dribbled and was very close and then BAM! One of the french players knocked me very hard from the side. The judge whistled.
”Red card to you! I don't want to see that kind of game play here, you understand!”
We got free shot and it was the only thing left, the time was over and I had the last shot.
”where doesn't the goal keeper expect me to shoot?” down,left,right,up...I shot the ball into the upper right corner, and there it was! We had got the game to 2-2!
”YES!” I yelled and all my team mates gathered around me and coach yelled ”GREAT JEN!”
This was the best day of my life! I thought...

We changed in the dressing room and everybody was so happy. When I got out the national team coach was waiting for me outside.
”Hi, great game! You really do have a talent Jennifer.” He smiled and started searching for papers in hes suitcase.”I have a paper for you,just read it and bring it back to me as soon as you decide” he gave me a paper and then he walked away. I put the paper in my pocket and started looking for dad and Emma, I didn't see them anywhere. But I saw my aunt, that's odd I didn't know she was coming to watch me to. I went over to her, she was pale and was crying.
”Hi whats up? Why are you crying?”it took some time for her to answer cause she was sobbing so much.
”Je-e-en...It's yo-o-our dad and Emma...” I sort of felt something in my belly but I didn't know what it meant.
”Wha-ats wrong?” I stammered a little scared actually.
”They were on their way here to watch your game...but there was a drunken truck driver who came with full speed from the left at the same time as your father and Emma and they crashed” she started crying so much that it was hard to know what she was saying.
”Where are they?” I asked, I had a feeling i didn't want to know the answer. My aunt looked at me and shook her head slowly and started crying again. I just didn't know what to think or say, I'm not sure if I believed it at first, or I didn't want to believe it. My aunts husband came suddenly I didn't even notice where he came from.
”Jen you need to come with us, you are going to stay with us for now” he said. But I couldn't move, I was in shock. I didn't feel like crying, I just felt like I wanted to stay there and stare into the distance until I got mad. He picked me up and before I knew it I was in the back of their car. I heard my aunt sobbing and her husband saying something to her so low I couldn't hear. When we came to the house he carried me up to the guest room and brought me some food and closed the door. I just laid there, thinking ”was this real? Or is this a dream?” I fell asleep not knowing what next day would bring.

I saw a big castle in front of me, the lawn was perfectly mowed and the sun was shining. The big oak door that was the main entrance to the castle opened, out came students. In the crowd was a girl, she waved at me and smiled, she was about 167 cm long and had red beautiful long hair and brown eyes. She ran to me and said ” there you are, I have been looking for you, not that I was worried or anything..” she said and smiled at someone beside me. I didn't even notice until now that there was a boy beside me.
”I'm sorry for taking Jen without saying anything...I was just showing her around a bit” the boy said, hes voice was so gentle it was like when you heard hes voice everything just got better. He was about 170 cm long and had short perfect brown hair and dark blue eyes and a perfect body.
”oh it's okay I was just...” I didn't hear more, it was like I was slipping away from that place, I didn't want to go, I felt happy and safe with those people, though I didn't know who they were.
I woke up and realised I was still at my aunts. That meant that...no it wasn't true, when I get down dad and Emma will be waiting for me, they probably got stuck in traffic or something yesterday. I got dressed and went downstairs to find my aunt and her husband whispering in the kitchen.
”what are we going to do? We can't just ship her off to some kids home! She has already lost her mother I can't just...we can't just..” she started crying.
”Jen has always talked about going to England right? So I looked up yesterday at my computer a school, they have this memory lessons where they help cases like this, and still it's normal school at the same time so she won't miss anything...” I started realizing that I was wrong, dad and Emma weren't coming after me. I felt a pain in my stomach and I put my hand on my mouth to stop me from screaming, I ran upstairs and into the room I closed the door and fell to the floor, I couldn't breath, I let out a scream and started crying so that I had to fight for air. I saw the door open and my aunt ran into the room just before it all went black.
”Jen please wake up!”
”Jen can you hear me?” I heard my aunt and her husband say, I opened my eyes.
”Oh thank god!” my aunt said and buried her head in her hands.
”We were so worried, you were out for two hours”
”I'm...I'm sorry...” I tried to say but the words were hard to get out my mouth was dry.
”Jen we have thought about where you should go...and we thought that, if you wanted of course...we found a school in England where they help you get trough this...we just...”he didn't get the chance to finish the sentence because I needed to get out of here, away from everything and everybody.
”I want to go” I said immediately. They looked at each other and my aunt said ”okay, we thought you could maybe go tomorrow already, or do you think it's to soon for you?” I had difficulty getting any words, I pressed my hands on my stomach so that I wouldn't start screaming again.
”tomorrows perfect” I said short and waited til they had went back downstairs, they closed the door behind them, I got up and started packing. I packed very quick and went to bed and buried my head in the pillow so that they couldn't hear downstairs that I was crying.

My aunt woke my up next morning, I put on my sweat pants and a hooded shirt, my hair was a mess. I didn't say anything all morning and when I was in the kitchen I could hear my aunt whispering to her husband ”do you think this is what's best for her? She's been quiet all morning and she just stares into the distance like there was no life in her...” I didn't want to hear more, I went up and got the suitcase.
”Jennifer? Do you want to go for sure? You know that you can always stay with us.” my aunt said when I came downstairs. I just nodded without saying anything.
”okay then let's go to the airport then” her husband said and took my suitcase.
”Jen wait!” my aunt yelled from the house when I was already outside.
”I want you to have this” she handed me a necklace it was a heart made of gold.
”It belonged to my sister, you'r mother, I was going to give it to Emma but...” she got a tear in her eye, and I felt something painful in my stomach when she mentioned Emma.
”Thank you” I said and got outside, I stopped and took a deep breath of fresh air. It took only fifteen minutes to get to the airport. I got out and my aunt and her husband followed me inside.
”This is it then Jen, you can call anytime you like and just tell us if you want home, then we'll come and get you, okay?” my aunt said looking a little worried. I nodded, she gave me a hug and said ”You go and have a good time,okay? Promise me that you do not study all the time or cry much, go out and make new friends and have fun!” she let go of me. I nodded again and heard a voice say in the loudspeakers ”all passengers for flight 089 London heathrow airport please get to the gate number 3.”
I waved at my aunt and her husband and two minutes later I was sitting on the plane. I had a window seat and I stared out the window, ”what if you could fly?” I wondered.
I was on a beach the sand was so soft i felt it run trough my toes. The sunset was so red and yellow it was like a dream, It reflected in the water that was so still, no wind blew a voice beside me said
”I come here to think, not many know of this place” it was the same gentle voice, I felt happy, I felt safe.
I woke up when a woman that was sitting next to me said ” we are landing now” I looked trough my window and saw the land coming closer and closer. When I got off the plane I got my suitcase, the airport was so big I wasn't sure were to go at first but decided to just go where everybody else went. A woman was standing with a paper where was written ”Jennifer Krantz” I went to her.
”Hi! You must be Jennifer. I'm June, I'm just a cab driver I will drive you to the school” she took my suitcase and I walked after her. I've always wanted to see England but I didn't even take a look around, I just wanted to get to a more quiet place. June was nice she told me about different buildings that we passed and talked much. The landscape started to change, the city was already behind us and the only thing you could see was fields.
”we are soon there” June said after three hours of driving. There was forest now.
”Welcome to your school miss Jennifer.”
I looked at the building in front of me, it looked like a castle, wait this place...
”here we go” she said when she handed me my suitcase.
”thank you” I said and started walking towards the castle. A woman came against me.
”Hello! You must be Jennifer nice to meet you my name is Margaret, I'm the principal of this school” she shook my hand.
”I will show you to your room so that you will have a chance to change clothes” she took a pause and looked at me from head to toe, it was a bit embarrassing.
”Then I think you should come and see me at once, I have heard what you're story is...I'm really sorry...but we will make it easier for you to get trough this you'll see” I followed her up to the castle. Inside was a big hallway, when we went on I realized how big this place really was, there were chandeliers hanging from the ceilings everywhere and the corridors had big windows, it was just to beautiful to describe.
”Here is you're room, and here is a key to the room and I'll meet you down in the hall in a hour okay?” I nodded and she walked away. I opened my door and wow, even the room was beautiful, the bed was big and made very perfectly, there was a big mirror on one wall and a table for a computer and a walk-in closet. I started unpacking my suitcase and put on a black normal dress and put my hair in a pony tail. I laid down on the bed and wondered how this place seemed so familiar?

When I went to meet up with Margaret she was waiting for me in the hall.
”Ah, there you are, let's get started right away.” I followed her trough the castle, it felt like we had been walking for a long time when she suddenly stopped and said ”you can go in there and take off your shoes” I left my shoes outside the room and entered. The room was whole white, there was nothing in it and it looked as if there was no walls, that it went on for ever. I heard a voice, it was Margaret's voice she said ”sit down Jennifer and relax” I did as I was told.
”I want you to look at these photos and correct me if I say something wrong, just nod or shake your head” I nodded. On the wall opposite of me a photo came up, it was a photo of Fanny and Karen.
”These are your best friends, right?” I nodded.
”Well take a look at this, it is a clip taken of these girls talking in school a day you were ill”. Fanny and Karen were sitting at the usual table we sit, but they were sitting with boys from our class and three other girls.
”Why do you hang out with that loser anyway?” one of the boys asked. Fanny answered ”oh come on, just look at all the jewellery she's got! Her aunt or something is ritch, and we get so cool stuff from her just to be pretending to be her friend!” everybody at the table started laughing. The clip went away and Margaret's voice came again ”These so called friends of yours have been pretending to be your friend all this time” I didn't understand this at all, wasn't this place supposed to make me feel better not worse? I had to put my arm around my stomach again, I closed my eyes.
”Please make the pain go away” I told myself.
”I know that you're thinking, how could this make anything better, but trust me this will, when you know about everything we will erase all the bad memories from you and you will start slowly remembering everything again when time goes by, but then you can move on and remember the times here in England that are going to be the best days of you're life” I started to get mad, how could everything just go away? You can't just run from the things that have happened. I got to my feet and yelled ”What do you mean!?you can't erase something like this! I have no family, no friends! And how do you know these days won't be my worst!” I didn't actually know where to look, I just yelled, it made me feel a bit better, so I screamed as loudly as I could.
I sat down on the floor again and said ”how do you know all this?” tears started running down my cheeks.
”we have our ways” the voice said, ”I think we have to do this now, I've just got one question, do you want us to change how you look?” I didn't answer immediately I laid down on the floor and closed my eyes and said ”Looks doesn't change you as a person”it was quiet for what felt like ten minutes, then she said ”very well, let's get to it then ,shell we” and everything around me went white. I couldn't open my eyes, I didn't get air, it felt as if I was flying. Memories started floating by, bad memories, the last thing I saw was me on a soccer field with the last shot with only 30 seconds of the game left.

I woke up in my room.
”aah a new day here in England! This has been my dream ever since I was little” I got up and got dressed, I put a white dress on me and straightened my hair and put some make-up on. I got out of my room, where was I supposed to go? I wondered and started going to the left. When I had walked a long hallway I got to the hall, ”ah something I recognise” there were many people there on their way outside.
”Hi you must be Jennifer, from Sweden right?” a girl said behind me, I jumped and said ”Oh god you scared me! Yes I'm Jennifer you can call me Jen, and you are?” she smiled at me and said ”My name is Lisa, I'm sorry for scaring you” she was very pretty, she was about 167 cm long and had red beautiful long hair and brown eyes. Wait...long red hair and brown eyes...I have had a dream about this girl! No it's just a coincidence.
”So why is everybody going outside?” I asked and decided that it was just a coincidence.
”Oh, well it's beautiful weather and the boys are having a soccer game, it's the first time we've gotten this far in the school soccer! The team got better when a boy came here two years ago, he trained them hard for these two years and now hes the new captain! They didn't compete last year cause they trained for this year” she had a pause and took some chewing gum from her bag ”want some?” she asked, I shook my head.
”Okay, yeah well about this boy, it was kind of weird, hes Margaret's son and he wasn't going in this school until two years back, everybody knew she had a son and thought that he was in some classy school for rich kids. Well anyway, then he shows up here and nobody knows why, but he got some good friends here and the girls like him if you can say so” she smiled at me.
”Well you want to go and have a look?” she started walking towards the door
” yes I would love to” I said, I put my sunglases on and followed her outside. We talked on the way to the soccer field, Lisa was very easy to talk to, she told me she played tennis, and that she liked to read books and had a huge crush on one of the boys at this school named Sam and the rest she said was about how handsome Sam was.
”So what about you? You have any hobbies or any guy you like?” I took some time to think about the question and answered ” yes I play soccer, I'm actually very good at it, and no there is no guy and there has never been any guy and I don't think I'm that good at guy stuff you know? So I figured it's just best to stay out of it” When I had ended my sentence Lisa said ”no I don't think you're bad at guy stuff! I mean look at you! Which guy would say no to you?” I let out a laugh and answered ”about every guy!” Lisa started laughing to. When we came to the soccer field there were many people there, every seat was almost taken.
”Let's go and stand there by the edge” Lisa said and I followed her, we went behind the goal, a good bit away of course.”Oh we were just in time, here they come! We are the white team just so you know” Lisa said.”See that's who I was telling you about, hes very good looking isn't he?” she said pointing at the boy with a black C on hes sleeve, he really was dreamy, he was about 170 cm long and had short perfect brown hair and dark blue eyes and a perfect body, wait oh not again this really was starting to feel a bit weird, he looked exacly the same as the boy in my dream. Ah forget it this is ridiculous. The game begun and our school was leading and controlling the ball, 1-0 to us after ten minutes of game play. They were moving very smooth and perfectly and without a single mistake.
”There is always a mistake” I thought to myself.
”I have to take a picture of this place” I said for myself again, and stood up and took my camera. I took pictures of the game and turned around to take a picture of the castle.
”Watch out Jen!” I heard Lisa scream and POW! I had gotten the ball in my head, and I fell to the ground.

”OW!” I said and felt my head aching. I heard footsteps coming closer,and a gentle voice said ”are you alright?” it was the guy Lisa had told me about. Lisa came beside me and said to the boy ”I think she needs something cold on her head”
”Yes you're right” the boy said and he lifted me off the ground.
”Carry on boys! You can do this without me just remember what I trained you to do!” he yelled and carried me towards the castle.
”I'm sorry for that, does it hurt much?” he asked. I could just listen to hes voice all day it was so gentle and beautiful.
”Oh no, I just have a little headache” I said. We got inside, he put me down on a chair in the kitchen and gave me a ice bag to put on my head.
”I'm Martin by the way. I should work on my aim don't you think?” he said with a little laugh.
”I'm Jennifer, but you can call me Jen” I said.
”Aah Sweden girl, I've heard about you” he said and smiled at me. I was a little confused
”What do you mean you've heard about me? How is it that people here know who I am when I've never seen them before?” I asked.
”Oh it's nothing they just told us that there was coming a new girl from Sweden to our school and that her name is Jennifer” he said.
”Well I have heard about you to actually.”The boy who everybody thinks is so handsome and the soccer star” that's what I've heard”
”Well what do you think?” he said and stood up and turned around like some model showing a dress. I started laughing, ”hm I don't know”I said.
”Yes you're right I'm all sweaty now ” he grinned.
”So what do you do then?” he asked.
”I actually play soccer, or I did in Sweden I was actually very good” I told him about the tournament I had been too, but it felt like there was something about that tournament I didn't want to remember.
”Oh you play soccer? Iwouldd never have guessed, I mean you look like a girl who play something more....girly” he said looking at me from head to foot.
”Really? Well I can show you sometime how good I am” I said, trying to come up with something so that I could spend more time with him, he just made me feel something...I don't know what.
”Yes thatwouldd be lovely, but today I will show you around this place, if you agree to that of course?” he said and looked at me and smiled.
”Yes Iwouldd love to, where do we meet?”
”In the hall at 5 pm”
”Okay that sounds perfect”
”Good so I'll see you then?”
”Yes” It became silent, a bit awkward actually. But it wasn't for long.
”I think I need to get back to the game, to see how things are going”
”oh yes you should go, I'm sorry for keeping you” I said, feeling a little guilty.
”nah it's okay, so I'll see you tonight?” he asked already standing.
”yes” I said and smiled. He went out and I felt worm inside, He really did make me feel worm, happy and everything.

I went up to my room and fixed my hair and make-up and changed my dress to a other white one. I didn't want to wait in my room cause the time went so slowly so I decided that I would look up Lisa and tell her what happened. I went out from my room and started looking in the hall, I couldn't find her anywhere, so I decided to look outside. I saw her sitting by a tree and just before I was about to scream her name I saw that Sam was sitting beside her. I turned around and went back to the castle, let them be alone I thought to myself. I started walking back to my room, the corridor was empty so I closed my eyes and started walking backwards, I don't know why actually. When I got to the end of the corridor I turned around and just at the same time someone came from the left and we collided, I fell and the person fell on top of me.
”Oh I'm so so sorry I didn't see...” he stopped talking when he saw who I was and I let out a little laugh.
”Are you going to hurt me every time I see you?” I asked. It was Martin who had come around the corner.
”Well it's starting to become a habit of mine I think, or it just you who can't keep away from me and my charm and my brilliant british accent” he said and smiled at me.
”Oh trust me you're not that charming! Now if you please would get off me so that I could stand up?”
”I had already forgotten I was laying on you, I'm truly sorry but as you can see I've been in the shower so if you don't need more time, do you want your sight-seen now?” he got up on he's feet and lifted me up.
”I don't need any time and I would love to see more of this place!” I said and he nodded and showed me the way.
”Okay we will start by my personal favorite room in this place, the so called ”music room” it really is brilliant” The castle looked just the same where ever you went, white corridors with beautiful chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. At the end of a corridor there came a door and Martin opened it.
”Ladies first” The room was totally black I couldn't see anything.
”Martin? I can't see anything” I said starting to wonder if this was some kind of joke.
”Just a minute...It should be somewhere here...right...here, aha!” I heard a small ”click” and lights went on and I was standing in a big big room, there was a big scene and seats for at least a thousands of people.
”wow this is amazing!”
”Just wait , you haven't seen the best part yet” Martin said,”come on!” he took my hand and I followed him to the stage, we went up and he let go of my hand and said quite loudly ”Screen” and down came a big white screen with some kind of a music program.
”You can chose witch ever song you like and you get a microphone and you can sing! And the best part, you get to choose your outfit and they show you dance moves!” I didn't get a word out of me I just stood there and gaped.
”Let's move on before you faint and I hurt you again cause I'm not fast enough to catch you when you fall” he said and grinned ”up screen” he said and the screen disappeared and we went out of the room and started walking the other way.
”There arent any other interesting rooms here, just a normal computer room on the second floor in the end of the corridor to the left and a play place for children if some teachers don't have time with them and those rooms arent that interesting so I think I will show you outside instead” we talked and laughed on the way outside, and it came to me that Lisa had said ”nobody knows why he suddenly came to this school two years back” so I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask, would it?
”You know...a friend told me about you, she said that nobody knew why you suddenly changed school to this one, why did you change?” he didn't answer immediately just stopped and stared a while at a tree in the garden.
”I don't talk about it” he said short with something in hes voice that I haven't heard before, he started walking again and I followed not knowing if I should say something.
”I'm...I'm sorry” I said carefully looking at hes face fore some reaction, but to my relief he smiled and looked back at me
”It's okay, I just don't talk about it, I'm not mad cause you asked me, many have but I answer the same to everybody”
I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't see where I was going and I tripped on a root on the ground. Martin gave out a little laugh before he put hes arm around me and lifted me up, he held his face near mine, my heart started to beat faster.
”This time it wasn't me who hurt you” he let go of me but held hes hand in mine
”I think I need to hold your hand, just in case” I smiled and had to look down cause I felt that i blushed. We were walking in a forest but it wasn't the kind of forest you would imagine, the trees were growing sparsely from each other and the ground was sand, like there was a beach near.
We came out on a field, but in the middle of the field was a tree, and it wasn't a normal tree it was big and I mean big!
”this tree has been here over a thousand years, its very old and as you can see it's not a normal tree nobody knows what kind of tree this is” the tree had golden leaves and I'm not kidding they really were golden.
”How can't you see this from the castle?” I asked
”That's what everybody wonders nobody knows that either” Martin said and gave a little laugh when he looked at me.
”What?”
”no nothing, you just look so funny when you're amazed” he said and laughed again.
”But we should get back to the castle before it gets dark” he said and lead the way back. When we were there everybody were on their way outside before going to bed. I saw Lisa coming trough the crowd towards us.
”there you are, I have been looking for you, not that I was worried or anything..” she said and smiled at Martin.
”I'm sorry for taking Jen without saying anything...I was just showing her around a bit” he said.
”Oh it's okay I was just wondering where she was but I will go and let you two finish this and I'll see you tomorrow Jen okay, good night!” she went back up to the castle. This couldn't be a coincidence anymore! But what was it then? Well whatever it was it was starting to get a little creepy, I have heard of this deja-vu thing but it can't come this often can it?
”Jen, whats wrong?” Martin said and I got back from my thoughts.
”Nothing, nothing” I said and we walked to the castle under silence. When we were in the hall and Martins room was the other way I said ”Martin, thank you so much, I had a wonderful time today, so I'll see you tomorrow?”
”Yes, see you tomorrow” I turned around and started walking up to my room.

The day after that was a bit annoying, Lisa and Sam were together all the time so it wasn't much fun to be with them. When it was lunchtime I sat in the same table as Lisa but wasn't really listening to what she was talking about cause all that she talked about was Sam.
”...and then he just hugged me and I was so shocked I taught my heart would stop, and than...” and so it went on. Just when I was about to say something like ” Okay Lisa I get it! Would you just shut up for a minute!” a girl dressed in a short skirt and had the most longest legs in the world and long blond hair and perfect skin came to the canteen, well the first thought I got was ”bimbo” and her friend there wasn't even a word, she had also long blond hair and long legs and mini skirt and a shirt that almost showed everything, if you know what I mean, well anyway I wouldn't even have noticed them if they weren't coming towards us.
”So you are the new girl” she said with some sort of disgust in her voice and she looked at me from head to toe.
”I don't understand, why would Martin choose something like her instead of me?”
”what are you talking about?” I asked a bit shocked.
”Oh you didn't know? Martin is my boyfriend and you think you can just come here and steal him? Well you can do it in Sweden maybe but not here!” and she spilled all her food on me.
”YOU BI...” I started but Lisa was faster, she stood up and slapped the blond girl in the face.
”How dare you?!” and so my first fight ever started, well fight and fight.
”WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!” it was Margaret's voice.
”STOP IT AT ONCE!” she yelled and took Lisa and me by our shirts and said to the two girls ”follow me!” she dragged us out from the room and up to her office, she slammed the door behind her and said ”explain yourselves!”
Everybody started yelling at once Margaret put her hand in the air and we got quiet.
”You can go, except you Jennifer”
”Ms Thompson I just want to say that nothing of this was Jens fault” Lisa said before going out from the room.
”So Jennifer what happened?” she looked at me as if she could read me.
”well...” I told her what had happened and she sat down behind her desk and gave out a sigh.
”I really thought you were different Jennifer, I have been watching you and you've only made one friend I see and that's Lisa, ah and I've seen you have spent a lot of time with my son also but I'm afraid you don't need he's company, find someone who fits you better, do you understand?” I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Oh so now the teacher doesn't like me cause I spend time with her son! Well that's just great.
”After all he is dating Sara, the girl with the blonde hair you are accusing that spilled her food on you, that I hardly believe cause she is a good girl” I got mad and I mean mad, I got up and said a little louder than I meant to say it ”fine I will stay away from you're son and I'm sorry for not wanting to be friends with bimbos!” I stormed out not caring that she was screaming something after me. I was so mad I didn't care about the people staring at me when I passed them, I knew what I needed. I went to my room and changed clothes to my black shorts and a sport top and took my soccer shoes and socks from my bag and put my hair in a pony tail. It was hot outside, there was nobody there everybody were inside cause it was to worm to be outside.When I came to the field I felt better already, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of fresh air. I didn't even warm up I felt the angriness inside me, I ran to the changing rooms and took a bag with many balls in it, I took out the whole bag and all the balls. I put them on a row and started shooting. I made a track with different soccer trainings and started running trough it, all my anger was gone and it felt a bit like home but when I thought about it...where was my home? I laid down on the ground, tired. I closed my eyes, what am I doing here? How did I get here? Why am I here? When I thought about it I realized, I didn't know anything about Sweden, where I came from all I remember is the school there but no family and no friends.
”Jen?” I heard a gentle voice say. I opened my eyes and sat up, it was Martin.
”What do you want?” I asked quite unkindly.
”Nothing special, is something wrong?” he asked and started coming closer.
”Just go away! Go and talk with Sara or whatever her name is or maybe you want to have a nice chat with you're mom that hates me and said I have to stay away from you cause you have a girlfriend! Oh did you forget to tell me? Well I don't care what you do just leave me alone” I didn't even notice that I got a tear drop in my eye, I stood up and shot a ball with all the power I had in my legs.
”Jen, what are you talking about? I don't have a girlfriend! All I know is that Sara has had a crush on me ever since I started going to this school and I have never even liked her! She's so...bimbo”he had a pause and came closer to me.
”And do you think I care what my mother thinks? Okay I think I need to tell you something, come follow me” he took my hand and we started walking towards the forest.

It was sunset already and we walked trough the forest without saying a word.
”Ah here it is” Martin said. We got out from the forest to a beach, the sand was so soft you could believe that you were somewhere abroad in a worm country, the weather was so still and there was no wind. The beach was so long it was like one of those places that just exist in your dreams.
”I come here to think, not many know of this place” Martin said looking out in the distance. Oh great one of those deja-vu things again.
”It's so beautiful” I took off my shoes and my socks and went to the water , it was worm and Martin came beside me.
”So...Sara is or never was your girlfriend?” I asked not looking at him, I couldn't stop looking at the sky, it was so beautiful.
”No, I actually don't even know her, you have been wondering why I came to this school, well I haven't told anyone this before but I feel that I can trust you” he looked at me and took a deep breath and said ”My dad lives in London and I was living with him couse my mom is..well she wants to choose my friends and who I should be and not be with, I had a good life there until one day when I came home from school I saw suitcases in the hall and my dad just said ”I'm so sorry Martin” he had packed all my things and my mom was there to, I got really mad, my dad was always the one talking about how I shouldn't be with mom and then he just throws me out to go and live with her! I was mad and sad for a long time I didn't even look at mom, she didn't care about me until I became older, she had no interest to rise a kid so my dad raised me and suddenly mom shows up and pays dad much money so that I would come to this school, I never forgave dad. I had to do everything my mom wanted I still must and well she's rich and that's why I don't know witch are actually friends and witch are just after the money...and then you came along and you were different, like you don't care if I have much money or not” he stopped talking and looked at me.
”I don't care no how much money you have... and I'm sorry I didn't know..”
”It's okay, you are the first one I've told ”
”Have you heard anything from your father after that?”
”No not a word, last thing I heard from mom was that he hooked up with some young girl and they went to America together.” he looked down.
”You know how they say that life goes on? Well it does but you never really recover from it everybody just thinks that, but inside you know that you will never fully recover from it...This changed me, Sam said it to, one time when he got mad he apologised immediatley but I knew it was true” he took a pause.
”Well what about you? How are your parents?” I started thinking, how were my parents?
”I...I don't know or remember its a bit odd actually, I remember that my mom died when I was 10 but I don't know where my dad is and...I think I have or had a sister” after I said it I realized how weird it sounded.
” I'm not mad I just...I don't know why I can't remember” Martin let out a little laugh and said ” I don't think you're mad, just one question, do you know why you're here Jen?” he looked at me in the eyes.
”Well yes of course I do...” he was still looking at me.
”okay no I don't know why I'm here” I said.
”Ah you are here on a memory trip, something happened to you that made you sad and someone sent you here to erase that bad memory, you will start remembering things soon but it will feel like it happened long time ago so it won't be so sad for you”
”Well it doesn't explain why I have had these deja-vu moments quite often, one when I got here and one about you and Lisa and then this beach it all felt like I've done before” I started walking slowly in the water and Martin followed.
”Well maybe it's just coincidence” he said.
”Yes maybe it is” I didn't want to talk about that right now. We walked in the water and talked about soccer and laughed.
”So you must be quite fast then?” Martin asked and looked at me.
”Well try and catch me!” I started running up from the water, but Martin was faster than me and put he's hands around me and lifted me up, when he put me down my face came close to he's and he still had he's arms around me, he smelled so nice some sort of boy perfume and my heart started going faster.
”Do I make you nervous Jen?” he asked.
”I don't know, I can't hear myself think cause my hearts beating so fast.”
He leaned forwards and kissed me, it was a long kiss and I didn't want it to end. He smiled at me after and took my hand.
”We should get up to the school before it gets dark”
”Not yet I don't want this evening to end, I want to remember it”
”There is something I want to ask you Jen” Martin said.
”What is it?”
”Can I take some photos with your camera?”
”Yes, but why?” I asked looking at him.
”Oh its a surprise!” I gave him my camera and he started taking pictures already.
We sat in the sand until the sun had gone down and the stars were shining so bright in the sky, I fell asleep in Martins arms.

I didn't see Martin the next day, nor the day after that. I was starting to wonder if he was avoiding me. On the third day I didn't speak much cause I was wondering where Martin could be.
”Is everything okay?” Lisa asked when I didn't say anything.
”Yes everything's fine...have you seen Martin this week?”
”no I haven't he often sort of ”disappears” from school for a week or two and nobody knows where he is, he will come back soon don't worry” Lisa said, she looked at me as if she was reading my facial expression and said after a while.
”You never told me about Sunday, so anything happen between you two?” at first I was going to say no nothing happened but I could trust Lisa, so I told her everything, her smile got wider and wider when I had told the story she just gaped at me and said ”wow he has never showed any girl the smallest amount of interest!”
After that Lisa didn't talk about Sam anymore, thank god but instead she started giving me ”advice” and sometimes I wished she would go out with Sam so that she would talk about him instead.
A week went by and Martin was nowhere to be found in school, I went out and played soccer but this time it didn't help. So I got an idea: the music room! I went upstairs and into the music room, it was dark once again and it took a while for me to find the switch for the lights to come on. I went up to the stage and said ”Screen” the big white screen came down with the music programme. ”okay lets see, what you've got” I tought to myself. Aha a favorite of mine! ”The band perry – If I die young” the lights went dark and a chair came up from the floor and my outfit changed into a dress with flowers on and my hair changed into beautiful curls. There came a guitar to but I had never played guitar so I let it be. It was so much fun, I forgot all about Martin and sang many different songs and learned a few dance moves to some songs.
”Okay I must admit this really had every good song, but does it have Swedish songs?” I asked myself. So I said a good song I like that a girl from Sweden sings and it found the song ”impressive” I thought and my outfit changed again into a short golden dress and black stockings and my hair in curls again. I sang the song three times and learned the dance moves, ”okay now I've got it!” so I sang it a forth time and it was almost a perfect performance. When the song stopped I heard applause, I looked up and Martin stood there.
”I didn't know you could sing” he said with a little laugh. I felt anger at first because he had just disappeared but my heart also started going faster, again.
”well you never asked, and maybe I was planning to tell you but you have been gone for, what? A week now without saying anything! And I was just leaving anyway.” I went down from the stage and started walking towards the door but Martin was standing in the way.
”If you would bee so kind and move?” I said not looking at him because he was so good looking.
”No I will not move, and no you were not just leaving and yes I did leave without saying anything but you haven't given me a chance to explain” he looked at me in the eyes and I had forgotten how beautiful he was.
”Yes but maybe I don't want an explanation” I said so coldly I could but it wasn't so convincing.
”Well then I have to force you to listen cause I'm not going to loose you” I tried to get past him but he put he's arms around me and lifted me up so that he held my legs so I was sort of hanging on he's shoulder and carried me to the stage.
”Martin let me down!” I said
”Sorry Jen you chose the hard way, and that is a nice dress by the way” he said with a little laugh.
”This is so not funny!”
”Yes it is, and I'm really starting to think I make you nervous”
”No you don't! And definitely not now!” he put me down on the stage and leaned so close to me that our noses almost touched each other.
”I was in London helping a friend”
”Oh and why so mysterious? Why not leave a note or something to me: oh by the way Jen I'm off to London see you in a week, xo Martin. And could you get off me please?”
”No I can't, not until you listen to me, I didn't leave any note cause my mom is keeping an eye on you and me, she doesn't think you are the kind I should hang out with” he looked at me for a long time and then said ”so do you forgive me?” I thought for a while and then said ”fine, fine” he smiled and kissed me on the lips and helped me up.
”You know there are songs for duett to?” he said and started searching for some song.
”Aha here it is!” he said after a while. It was a beautiful ballad, Martins clothes changed into a white shirt and jeans.
”I don't want to change dress, I like this one” I said and played a little with the dress I was wearing.
”Okay you don't need to change” he said and came closer to me.
”You look very handsome” I said and corrected he's shirt a bit. We sang the song many times because I had never heard the song before, Martin learned me the dance moves and after what felt like at least four hours I had learned the song and the moves. When we danced and sang the song a last time Martin was just about to kiss me when the door opened and in came a woman, she was small and a bit round and maybe 155 cm long.
”Mr Thompson and ms Krantz, I was watching you two from up there” she was pointing at what looked like a black window.
”And I thought you two had a connection when you were dancing so I would like you two to perform this song when we have our summer feast, and of course as a good bye feast for you ms Krantz” I looked at Martin and he looked at the woman with a chocked face.
”Well if you don't have anything to say I think you two want to! Good I will write your names on the list right away!” she went out from the room.
”What? No! I can't perform in front of an audience!” I said to Martin.
”Just think of it as the last dance with me before you leave” he said and smiled at me.
”No, don't say that...I don't want to leave you” I hugged him hard, as if I was afraid he would disappear.
”I'm sorry I didn't mean it that way, I'm so sorry Jen” he said and hugged me back.
”come on, let's go get something to eat” he said and took my hand and we went out from the room.

Next morning I went outside with Lisa and told her all about my day with Martin.
”Oh wow you really like him! And he really likes you!” she said when I had finished.
”So you have any plans for today? Because I'm going with Sam to watch their soccer practise” Lisa said and became a little red as always when she talked about Sam.
”No I don't have anything, I would love to come” I said.
”Perfect!”
We went back to the castle to eat and after that to change clothes, I put on my shorts and took my soccer things with me if I wanted to be after the practise and shoot some goals. We went down to the soccer field, the boys were already there.
”Hi Jen! I didn't know you were coming to watch” Martin said and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
”Well, surprise!” I said with a little laugh.
”You look great by the way” he said before running back on the field. Martin held the whole practise and it was a good practise. When the whole team was coming our way Sam sat down beside Lisa, and Martin said.
”Everybody, this is Jen! She's from Sweden I want you all to be nice to her”
”Oh of course we will!”
”We always are!”
”No actually, I'm always nice”
”No you're not!”
It was two guys, twins they were both about 170 cm long and had brown hair and green eyes.
”Ah this is Ed and Mike, as you can see they are twins” Martin said.
”We are going to become great friends Jen!”
”Yes we are!”
”And not in a creepy way”
”Yeah, don't take us to seriously”
”We joke a lot”
They both smiled at me.
”Okay moving on” Martin said with a little laugh.
”This is ...” I met the whole team they were all very friendly and nice. But the twins were the ones who talked the most.
”So Jen”
”We heard you are quite the soccer player”
”Yes, Martin has told us everything” I looked at Martin, he just smiled at me.
”Show us how good you are Jen!” Sam said suddenly and the whole team started mumbling ”yes show us!” so I went to change and got out.
”You don't need to do this if you don't want to” Martin said to me when I came out.
”No it's okay, I want to” I said and smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss.
”Okay, everybody be careful! Don't hurt Jen” Martin yelled with a little laugh and the whole team gave a laugh.
”Oh im better than you think” I said and everybody gave a little ”woooh”.
”Okay I'm on Jens team and Ed and Mike you're on our team too...” Martin chose the teams, Sam was on the other team but Martin and the twins were on my team.
”Where do you play Jen?” Martin asked me.
”I'm always a striker” I said, Martin was on the middle field and the twins were both defenders. We started the game, they were all quick you could tell the difference between playing against boys and girls. But we were always told ”never look at the size of a player, look at how the player moves and look for a mistake, it's always there”. Sam came running with the ball against me I followed he's feet, I could hear the twins yell.
”Come on Jen!”
”You can do it”
I took a chance but he got pass me, come on! Get your head clear I told myself.
Martin got the ball, I run up with him he passed the ball to me just in the right time. I dribbled the first guy and could hear Martin behind me somewhere ”Great Jen!” there were two defenders, and the goalkeeper, he was long, down in the corner I thought but there was no chance to get it there when there were two defenders, I dribble the first one, okay I need a plan... I turn around and pass the ball and Martin shoots! It could work I thought to myself.
”Martin behind!” I yelled and dribbled the first defender and passed the ball a bit backwards and Martin had understood my message, he took a shot and we got a goal.
”Perfect Jen! I would never have thought that way!” Martin said and lifted me up and hugged me.
”I told you I was good” I said and laughed. We played for two hours, I got to know the guys better and they were all so nice.
”Okay guys we have had our practise for today!” Martin said after our second match. They all went to change clothes.
”So, you like the boys?” Martin asked me when it was just me and him left.
”Yes they were nice” I said.
”I have an idea...” he came closer to me and said ”you want to go for a swim?” he asked.
”yes that would be wonderful!” I said
”Great meet me here in...fifteen minutes?” he said
”Perfect” we both run up to the school, I put on my bathing suit and a pulled over a dress and took a towel from the cabinet. I ran down and back outside, Martin was already there. We went trough the forest and came to the beach.
”I forgot how beautiful this place is” I said when we got there. The water was quite cold but it was refreshing, when we got up we sat in the sand and talked for a while.
”...I didn't know you were that good at soccer...” Martin said but he didn't finish the sentence because he's phone started ringing. I saw that it stood ”Patrick” on the screen.
”I'm sorry I have to answer” he said and stood up and walked a bit away. He talked only for a while and then came back looking a bit down.
”Is everything okay?” I asked him.
”Yes everything is fine, we have to practise our number for the summer show tomorrow” he said changing the subject.

The next day me and Martin were practising our show and we were getting really good at it. After we had been on dance practise and after we had changed clothes, me and Martin went outside. Ed and Mike came walking against us.
”Hello Captain!”
”And Jen”
They said and smiled.
”You want us to start our job now captain?” Ed asked.
”What job?” I asked and looked from the one to the other.
”Ooh boy, look what you did Ed” Mike said and gave Ed a little smack in hes head.
”Ow! Well sorry I didn't know he hadn't told her!”
”Guys, could you give us a minute?” Martin said and the twins went to take some apples from the apple tree.
”What job Martin?” I asked again a little serious.
”I need to go to London again...for a week and I asked the guys to keep you company” he said it carefully as if I was going to slap him in the face.
”Oh and when did you plan this ”trip” then?” I was starting to get a little mad, why was he's London trips so secret?
”Two days ago on the beach remember? It was a friend who asked so I said I would go to London today”
”Then go” I said and started walking towards the twins.
” I have great company here” I said.
”Jen wait!” he took my hand and pulled me close to him.
” I'm so sorry I want to stay here with you instead but I haft to go”
”Why? Why do you always haft to go? What is so special in London?” I pulled myself away from him and waited for an answer.
”I...I can't tell you! I'm sorry it's just so...complicated”
”Yes it always is, isn't it?” I said and turned my back on him.
”Just go Martin it's fine” I went over to the twins without looking back to see if Martin was still there.
”I'm sorry Jen”
”We didn't know that you didn't know” they said when I came, I looked back but Martin had already left.
”It's okay guys”
”so...what do yo want to do?” Mike asked and gave me an apple.
”I don't know, you guys want to play some soccer?” I asked and grinned.
”That sounds perfect!” we went down to the field and played for two hours.
”Wow you are good Jen!”
”Yeah, you almost get passed us both!”
”Almost!”
We all laughed and I wanted to know more about the twins.
”So you grew up here?” I asked.
”No we are from Scotland actually”
”But our family moved here five years ago”
”And since then”
”We have lived here” It was funny the way the talked, it was like they knew what the other was thinking.
”How well do you know Martin then?” I asked.
”He is a great captain”
”Yes! We got better when he came”
”At first in the beginning, he was kind of an arse”
”Yeah, he took it all way to seriously”
”But he got looser by time”
”Reckon it was just something he was recovering from that had happened in London”
”He changed to when he met you”
”Yes, he was more happy and well..”
”He just got kinder I think” I thought a while about what they said, but was distracted when Ed suddenly said.
”Oh is the time that much already!” we went back up to the castle and off to bed. What did Martin do in London? Was he involved in something...bad?

I had a fun week with the twins, they showed me how to play chess and showed old photos from Scotland. When the week had come to it's end I realized how much I missed Martin. The summer show is tomorrow and I'm going back to Sweden in two days, that means I have only two days plus this one left to spend with Martin. So I went outside to wait for him. I sat under a tree on a bench when a car came, Martin stepped out from it, I ran up from the bench and put my arms around him
”I've missed you so much” he lifted me up and kissed me.
”I've missed you to” he said, when he had put me down I saw that he had someone with him.
”Oh, Jen this is my friend from London, Patrick” Martin said and the boy shook my hand, the boy scared me a bit he was very long about 190 cm and big boned and had big muscles and looked a bit angry, he had black hair and brown eyes. I just stared at the boy because he looked so grown up, but not for long cause Martin hugged me again.
”I'm so sorry Jen for leaving, you had fun?” I told him about my week with the twins and he got happy to hear that I have had fun.
”We need to go practise our dance number today one more time” Martin said and took my hand and we went inside. When we got inside Martin said to me ” you go ahead Jen so that I can show Patrick to he's room” he gave me a kiss again and went with Patrick the other way. What were you doing in London Martin? I thought to myself and got an idea, I followed them and tried to listen.
”...this is what I mean!” I heard Martins voice, but he had something in he's voice that didn't sound like the sweet loving Martin I knew.
”And this is exactly why I told you not to fall in love!” it was Patrick, he's voice was deep.
”This girl is different! She makes me feel alive! I know I need to take care of dad but that doesn't mean I can't have my own life!”
”You knew exactly what it meant when you signed those papers”
”Don't you understand? I didn't sign the papers! It was mom who did so that I had to take care of dad instead of her!” Martin sounded angry and it was a bit scary.
”Why do you blame everything on her? She tried her best to get this family working and you complain!” What did Patrick mean when he said ”this family”? Like he was related to Martin.
”You weren't there! You had and still have a life! You have a loving girlfriend who you are going to propose to and what do I get? Nothing ! Cause everything I do and every friend I have mom chooses! She already came up with something like I was dating that Sara girl! So Jen got hurt all because of her! I hate her!”
”She did that?” Patrick asked now sounding a little kinder.
”Yes she did! So don't tell me not to hate her! I'm in love with Jen and not you or mom or anyone else can do anything about it” I heard footsteps coming down the hall, I ran towards the music room and up on the stage and changed clothes and had the song ready. Martin came in a few minutes later.
”Sorry it took a little while” he said sounding a little irritated. He got up on the stage not looking at me.
”We don't have to do this if you don't want to” I said and looked at him.
”Let's just get this over with”
”No Martin you are irritated at something so we'll do this tomorrow before the show, okay? Just go and rest for tomorrow” I said and laid down on the floor. Martin came and sat on me and leaned forward.
”Jen, I don't know if you think it's to soon but...” he had a pause and looked me in the eyes and then said ” I love you, I understand if you think its to soon, I just...” he didn't get to say more cause I kissed him, it was a long kiss.
”I love you to” I said.
”We will practise tomorrow” he said and lifted me up and walked me to my room.
”Martin, I wanted to ask you something” I said getting a bit nervous.
”Yes?”
”could you sleep here tonight? I just thought when this will be my second last night here that maybe you want to... but no you don't have to if you don't want to” he hugged me and opened my door to my room and closed it behind us. We fell asleep both almost immediately, it felt great when he held his arm around me when I fell asleep.

The next day was the show day, we woke up and went down to take some breakfast.
”Are you nervous?” Martin asked, I shook my head. We went to our rooms to change and got one hour earlier to the music room where it was being held so that we could practise the dance one more time. The practise went perfectly and the room started to fill up with students and parents coming to look at their daughters and sons. The show started and there was much good programs, for example the twins did some jokes and magic tricks. When it was our turn I felt how nervous I was.
”You'll bee fine” Martin whispered to me when we went on stage, I could see Patrick in the audience. But our number went perfectly and we got lot's of applause. The last program was Sara that did some talking , me and Martin watched from behind the scene.
”I'm going to tell you the truth about Jennifer Krantz and Martin Thomphson”
”WHAT!” I said loudly but Martin put he's hand on my mouth.
”Well as you all know they are having a relationship, but as a good bye gift to Jen when she goes home tomorrow I will tell and show her the truth” she clicked on some remote she had in her hand and a video came up.
”Here you can see Martin in the middle of the night going with Jens friend Lisa into a ”private room” as it looks like” the audience gave a laugh.
”And I've heard that Martin has some trouble with hes dad, well he was in London at the time this video was taken right? So Jen where did he tell you he was actually?” the audience gave a laugh again, I felt how I was starting to get mad.
” And what did Martin and Lisa do in that room together?” Sara took a pause to let the audience laugh again and then continued.
”And don't we all wonder why Jen actually is here? Well Jen look at this” on the screen came a photo of a man and a young woman.
”This is your dad and sister...” I couldn't hear more cause Martin had put hes hands on my ears and tried to move me but I got loose from he's grip.
”Jen don't listen to that!” Martin said.
”Try and remember Jen, where are they?” Sara went on ”I will help you Jen, don't be sad you are here cause your dad and sister were in a car accident and they both died” I started to remember, my aunt sitting and waiting for me outside the changing rooms, me laying on the floor crying.
”So there you have! The true story of Jennifer and Martin” I felt so mad and so sad at the same time, I started having problem getting air.
”Jen! Jen! Are you okay?” Martin said he tried to put hes arm around me but I pushed it away.
”Don't touch me!” I said tears running down my cheeks.
”Jen please...”
”I don't want to hear it!” I started running away from there, Lisa came against me and Sam.
”Jen it's not what it looks like!” Lisa started but I didn't listen to her, I pushed her aside and ran towards my room, I heard Martin say ”It was you! I thought we were friends!”. I ran to my room and closed the door, I laid down on the floor and had to fight for air. It knocked on the door and I heard Martins voice say ”please Jen let me in” he sounded sad.
”Jus-st go-o-o away!” I said but I cried so much the words didn't sound like anything.
”The door is open Jen, can I come in?” I couldn't answer cause I had such a hard time getting air.
”I can't breath!” Martin came in and took me in hes arms and said calmly ”deep breaths Jen, deep breaths, just calm down forget everything, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere just relax and calm down” hes words helped, I fell asleep in hes arms.

When I woke up Martin wasn't there. I started packing my things and put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and a scarf, I put my hair up in a pony tail. There was a knock on the door and Lisa's voice that said ”Jen can I please talk to you?” I didn't answer, a tear ran down my cheek.
”Jen just listen to me” she took a pause and a deep breath ”I was out with Martin that night cause we wanted to see your file, you know why you are here and we didn't know there were cameras in that room...and I'm so sorry for this Jen it was Sam who told Sara about Martins father and I liked him so much I just didn't know” she started sobbing ”please forgive me Jen”. I went to the door and opened it and hugged Lisa ”it's not your fault”
”You can't blame Martin either! He loves you Jen he would never do anything to hurt you”
”I need to talk to him, do you know where he is?” I asked Lisa, she looked away and said carefully ”I...umm...” my stomach gave a feeling that I didn't want to hear this.
”He's gone, isn't he?” I said looking at Lisa and she looked at the ground.
”He had to go Jen, I'm sorry”
”Typical, always he had to go, why does he always have to go!” I got so mad that I screamed and hit my hand hard against the wall and tears started welling out again.
”He couldn't just wait for one day! No of course he couldn't! He had to go just the day when I'm going back to Sweden!” I sat down on the floor and buried my face in my hands.
”I'll come with you to Sweden Jen” Lisa said.
”No you don't haft to”
”But I want to and besides what do I have here?” she smiled at me.
”Come on let's pack your things” she helped me up and we packed all my things. When I opened one of the drawers there was a photo album, I took it up and opened it. There was photos of me and Martin.
”Oh no” I said when I felt tears coming again.
”What is it?” Lisa asked and came over to me.
”Its a photo album” I said and she looked at the photos with me, there was a photo of me and Martin when Martin had lifted me up and hugged me on the beach.
”Hey, what's this?” Lisa said and took out a paper from the middle of the album.
”It's a letter” Lisa said and gave it to me and stood up ”I'll take down your things” she took my bag and went out from the room. I opened the letter and read it.

Dear Jennifer.
I'm so sorry that I couldn't be there to see you go, and I know I have made some mistakes but I just can't let you go, I love you with all my heart Jen and I promise you that I will tell you everything about London when I see you again, please just trust me Jen, this is the last time I will haft to do this after this week it will be over and then I can tell you everything.
But I mostly wanted to tell you that remember when I took your camera? Well I took some pictures with it from this place and the team and we made you this album so that you will remember this place and the good memories you had here.
And so you will feel better I should tell you that Sara got kicked out from the school and my mom got fired, I get to live in the school for now but soon I will haft to move out and find an apartment somewhere, that's a bit scary you know, and Sam...I still can't believe what he did but he got kicked out as well and he moved to some relatives in Scotland.
I don't know how long I will be int London now, but I will miss you so much Jen, but I don't want you to be sad when you get back to Sweden, if you ever feel sad or alone just look at the pictures in the album and remember the great times we had together.Take care of yourself Jen.
Good bye for now.
I love you.
Martin.

A teardrop ran down my cheek and I put the letter in my pocket and opened the photo album. When I looked trough it I realized that he must have had the camera with him all the time we spent together, there were photos of the tree he had showed me and when we played soccer and the beach, it was so beautiful there on the beach. I needed to see it one more time before I leave, I put the album in my handbag and ran down and outside, Lisa stood there by a car
”There you are! Do you have everything?”
”I need to do one thing before I go” I said and didn't stay to hear her answer, I ran to the forest and found the path Martin had showed me. When I came to the beach I laid down in the sand and felt a teardrop ran down my cheek, there was no wind and the water was so still. I closed my eyes and I don't know how long I just laid there or if I fell asleep. When I opened my eyes Lisa sat beside me looking out at the water.
”How long have I been here?” I asked and sat up.
”Just an hour it's not a problem we will leave when you feel like it, okay?” she smiled.
”I'm sorry it's just that...I just needed to see this place one last time before I leave.”
”I understand, not many know about this place”
”I know” Martin had said the exact same thing to me when we came here.
”I'm ready now, we will probably have to go now so we don't miss the flight” we got up and walked back to the school, now I started to feel how much I was going to miss this place. When we were in the car none of us said anything the whole way to the airport. We got there just in time, I got window seat and Lisa sat beside me.
”You okay?” she asked looking a little worried.
”I'm fine” I said, I lied actually I wasn't okay I don't know when I will see Martin again and knowing that my whole families dead...great. I looked out the window as I saw England getting smaller and smaller.

When we got to Sweden my aunt and her husband were there.
”Jennifer!” my aunt hugged me hard.
”How was it? How are you? Was it beautiful there? Were the other kids nice?” she looked exited and a bit sad to.
”It was fine and the kids were nice I actually brought a friend with me to help me catch up in school and...other stuff, this is Lisa, Lisa this is my aunt and her husband” I said and they shook hands. I acted like nothing was wrong and tried to smile and be happy but I think they realized that something was wrong. When we got to the car Lisa and my aunt talked much, they came along very well.
”So you're going to school tomorrow then?” my aunt asked
”Yes”
”You know if you need time Jen we could always call the school and say that...”
”I'm fine I want to go to school” I said it because I was afraid that if I didn't have anything to do I would just start crying. It was quiet a long time before my aunt spoke again.
”Oh Jen, we have emptied your old house and took all your stuff to us and made a room for you.”
”What? Have you emptied my house without me? What if there was somethings I wanted!” I got a bit mad cause I knew there were stuff that I didn't want to be thrown away.
”No of course not! Or we did empty it but we didn't throw anything away, we kept it all so that you can decide what you want and what to throw away” I didn't answer anything just nodded. When we got to the house and got up to my room I got a bit chocked, it looked just the same as my old room, everything was here all my soccer cups and posters and my geographic experiments.
”Wow Jen! You never told me you liked this kind of stuff” Lisa said pointing at a miniature of a volcano.
”I just think it's interesting” I said and put down my bags and threw myself on the bed.
”Now I realize how tired I am” I said and got up from my bed and started making my sofa to a bed.
”Is this okay?” I asked Lisa when I had made her bed.
”It's fine, I'll put on alarm for tomorrow” I changed into pyjamas and brushed my teeth and got to bed.
”good night”
”good night” Lisa answered. The next day came so soon that it felt like I had only slept half an hour.
”Come on Jen! First day at school!” Lisa was already up.
”Fine I will get up!” I got up and put on my normal brown dress with a belt and put my hair in a ponytail. We ate breakfast and Lisa asked me if there were any cute boys in my school.
”No not a single one, sorry” I gave out a little laugh.
”Sorry that I'm laughing at you, you just looked so funny” I said.
”Its okay or actually it's great! Whatever makes you feel better or laugh makes me happy” Lisa said with a smile.
”Come on! Let's not get late for the first day” we walked to school and I felt how nervous I actually was. We walked to school under silence and when we got there I started missing England more and more this school looks so poor and ugly. We went inside and up stairs, Fanny and Karen was sitting at our usual table. When I saw them I felt how anger flew up inside me, when they noticed me they smiled and came over to me.
”Oh Jen we heard everything!” Karen said and hugged me.
”It's so terrible we don't know what to say, they told everyone in this school everything you have been trough and...” when she said that I got so mad and almost screamed.
”Oh they told you everything? Well what exactly did they tell you? Did they tell you to be nice to me cause I might not recognize anyone because they took a part of my memory? Or did they maybe tell you that they showed me you two talking about me how rich my aunt is? Or hah! No maybe they told you the best part...” I took a pause and had to fight against tears.
”Did they tell you that I fell in love and the guy promised so much and in the end he just disappeared like nothing ever happened and left a letter! Or maybe they told you that I got humiliated in front of everybody by a girl that was jealous! And suddenly I remember oh I'm here cause my dad and sister died, so I really am curious, what did they tell you?” I couldn't stop a tear from running down my cheek. None of them said anything and then I noticed that the whole room was quiet and everyone were looking at me.
”Come on Jen, let's go” Lisa said and we went inside the classroom.
”Jen I...” Lisa started, but I didn't want to talk about it.
”I'm fine” I said.
”It's just a month left of school Jen, then you can come and stay with me in England if you want to” Lisa said trying to cheer me up.
”It's my birthday the same day school ends” I said. Lisa was about to say something but the teacher came in so she didn't say anything. I didn't talk much and didn't care that everyone were staring at me when I walked past them. The day went so slowly but when it finally ended Lisa and I walked home again and went up to my room.
”You okay?” Lisa asked when I threw myself on the bed and closed my eyes.
”I'm okay, I just wish school would end and that...” I didn't finish the sentence cause I didn't want to start crying again.
”I know Jen, you wish that he was here” it was quiet a while and Lisa said ”I'll let you rest I'll go for a walk and see what Sweden looks like” she went out from the room and closed the door. I took the photo album and looked at the pictures one more time, when I came to the photo of me and Martin on the beach I took it out and put it on my desk beside the bed. I realized how hungry I was so I went downstairs to grab something to eat, nobody was home my aunt and her husband were both working and Lisa went for a walk she said. But when I got to the kitchen I heard a voice in the living room so I went there, it was Lisa talking to somebody on the phone, she didn't see me so I tried to listen what she was saying.
”No! Listen to me she needs you! She is in so bad shape she cries all the time and I can see that she's in pain! And I can't help her she's back to the way she was when she first got to England, she needs you Martin...don't you get it?” she took a pause and I felt me heart starting to pump faster.
”You know what? She's so much better without you if you are like that! No I don't even care if you come anymore, or don't come at all that's best for Jen” she pressed the red phone and sat down on the coach, I went upstairs again without her noticing anything.

”Wow Jen you look great!” Lisa said when I came out from my room.
”Oh dear you look like a princess!” my aunt said and took a picture of me. It was the last day at school and we are having a dance as an ”ending” party. I was wearing a white dress with a rosette on the back.
”Thank you” I said and felt that i blushed a little, I had curled my hair and had a white flower as a decoration behind the ear.
”Jen I have a birthday present for you!” Lisa said and smiled.
”Oh no you shouldn't have bought anything to me” I said but she shook her head and started laughing.
” I didn't buy anything!” she said and took my hand and dragged me to the living room.
”Turn around and close your eyes and don't peak!” Lisa said so I turned around and closed my eyes. I stood there for a while.
”Lisa what...” but she answered me before I had even asked the question ” just a minute more!” she said. I waited and then she said ”Okay turn around!” when I did the whole team was standing there in suits and smiled at me and said all at the same time
”Happy birthday Jen!” I didn't get any words out I just stood there and gaped at them.
”I can't believe it! You are all here!” I said finally and went to hug everybody. But when I did, I realized one thing.
”Your captain is missing” I said and felt how my happiness suddenly turned to sadness.
”A team is lost without their captain” I said and sat down on the coach and buried my face in my hands. It was quiet in the room.
”I'm sorry guys I'm really happy to see you guys it's just...” Ed and Mike came and sat down beside me.
”It's alright Jen” Mike started.
”Yes we understand” Ed said.
”You miss him”
”And we really are lost without him”
”Yes” the whole team mumbled.
”Well still I shouldn't let it go out on you guys” so I got up and took my purse and said with a smile ” let's go to the dance boys! And Lisa!” I said with a little laugh.
”Alright Jen!” Ed said. We all walked together to my school.
”So tell me Jen” Mike started again.” Are there any cute gals in your school?” he asked and looked hopefully at me.
”Well, you can see for yourself” I said. He nodded and we went inside. They had turned the music room into a dance floor and they had a big stereo in front and the ceiling and the walls were decorated in white flowers.
”Wow they have don a great job” Lisa said and looked up at the ceiling.
”Come on Jen! May I have the first dance?” Ed asked me.
”Yes of course but I must warn you, I am a terrible dancer” I said and we went to the dance floor where many were already dancing.
”I'm sorry for not having a gift for you” he said.
”No it's okay I don't need any gifts” I said and smiled.
”Look...I knowe you miss Martin but don't blame him to much you know, he really does love you and misses you” Ed said looking serious.
”I really don't want to talk about him” I said shortly. After that we didn't speak, when the song ended we went over to the others. We stood and talked and had fun and they started having some performances on the stage. The time went by quickly and it was sunset, it really reminded me of England.
”Guys I'll be right back I just need some fresh air” I said and went out from the room and outside, there were some people but they didn't notice me so I went to a bench that was empty and sat there, I don't know how long I just stared at the sun going down.
”You can stare at it for so long” I heard a voice say behind me ” the sunset I mean” I knew that voice, I got up quickly and turned around, it was Martin. He was wearing a suit, my heart started going faster but at the same time I felt anger boiling inside me.
”Not if you are blind” I said trying to sound irritated but I just couldn't he was so calm and looked at me in the eyes and laughed a little when I said that.
”Happy birthday Jen” he said and took a step towards me but I stepped backwards.
”I need an explanation Martin” I said shortly feeling that I was about to cry again.
”Please after this party, I want to dance first” he said and put out a hand. My anger won my happiness this time and I said ” don't you understand what I have been going trough? Do you think that everything will just go back to the way it was? I wasn't alive when I came to England, I had lost everything that was dear to me my family and every hour I had practise soccer were all for nothing cause the accident happened, and then you came and I was starting to heal I almost got back to normal and then I died again cause you left me! And now when I was slowly starting to heal again you just come here and think you can dance with me and everything goes back to normal! No Martin it doesn't work that way, what happens when you need to disappear again? You come back in a month again? I just can't do it Martin” I said and started walking towards the school.
”My dad died” Martin said.” He had cancer...that's why I went to London” I turned around.
”But you said he moved to America” I said confused.
”I know, I said it cause I didn't want to believe it then” he turned around and looked at the sunset I went beside him and asked ”did he ever leave you?” he looked at hes feet a while before answering ”My mom signed papers under my name, that if dad was to get ill I would be the first one they would call and I had to take care of him, so no I lied about that, I had to come and live with my mother cause my dad had to stay in the hospital and I had to take care of him, not that I'm complaining, I just...It was hard” he took a pause and looked at me and went on ”my mother didn't give a damn about dad being sick, that's why I hate her so much, she didn't want anything to do with me but I had nowhere else to go so I started in that school, and I was angry and sad and didn't talk much cause I knew dad was getting worse every time, and then you came and I got happy, you mad me happy and I felt...like I was healing” he smiled at me and I asked ”but what about now? This whole month, where have you been?”
”Well I got a call the same morning you were leaving, they said that he might not have more than this week left and that they need me to fill some papers. So I had to go and when I got there dad wanted me to inherit everything he owned, the house and everything in it, so I got it all after he died a week after that and I didn't know what to do with it all so patrick's mom took me to live with them for a while and they helped me to sell the house and found a place to keep all the stuff in so that I can take it to my own house when I move and start a new school somewhere, so that took two weeks and then we had to bury dad and send cards to every relative that took one week and the funeral was one week after that and then I didn't get a fly until today to Sweden I'm sorry” he took my hand and looked me in the eyes.
”One more thing” I said ”who is Patrick?” he smiled at me.
”He's my half brother my dad was hes dad to” suddenly all started to fall in place.
”Martin I'm sorry for everything, I thought it was something bad” I hugged him hard.
”It's okay Jen, now may I have the next dance?” He asked and took my hand and kissed it.
”Yes you may” I said smiling. We went into the dance room and went to the dance floor and started dancing.
”I love you Jen” Martin whispered in my ear.
”I love you to” I said and hugged him so hard I could.
The evening went by and me, Martin, Lisa and the team had the time of our lives.

After school had ended I got a letter from England, it was from a school I had searched into after ninth grade but I hadn't got any reply then the letter said.

Dear Jennifer Kranz.
We were impressed by the movie you sent us. And we would want you to start in this school for young soccer players to get so far as to the national team if good enough, and we can see that you have got skills with the ball and you can read the other players moves and you have perfect timing for attacking a player. So we hope that after the summer holidays you can start in this school if you are interested in soccer, if you for once even think about not wanting to come to this school then you shouldn't come, there are at least 500 of other young soccer players that want to get to this school and we need you to be 100% sure that this is what you want. We want an answer at the latest 15.7.
We practise for three years but if you are good enough you will be selected to the national team your first or second year. But if you do not get selected even the third year you will have to train harder. The school starts 15.8 2011.
Have a good holiday.
Coach William Adler.

”What? I haven't sent any movie to them” I said when I had read the letter. We were in my room packing for our trip to England. Martin smiled and Lisa looked just as surprised as I.
”You know something about this, don't you?” I said to Martin.
”Well you know I just thought that it would be a good thing to have you near when I'm going to go to that school to on the boy's side” he smiled. I let out a scream of joy ”I got in! IGOT IN!” I hugged both Lisa and Martin.
”I didn't think I was good enough!” I was so happy I just jumped up and down.
”I think it's great that you are so happy about it but we are in a bit of a hurry when you slept so long so Jen dear you haft to pack” Martin said and put hes hands on my shoulders and kissed me on the cheek. We got down and my aunt drove us to the airport, the team were with my aunts husband but they didn't all get room there so we had to call one aunts friends to to drive us to the airport. When we got there I hugged my aunt and her husband and thanked them for everything, I didn't know when I was going to see them again.
”Your parents would be proud Jen” my aunt said.
”Come and visit any time you want Jen” her husband said and I nodded. I waved at them before I went to the check in.
”Are you sure about this Jen? Is this what you want?” Martin asked me.
”This is what I have trained for, I live to play soccer...I think” I said and smiled at him and took hes hand in mine.
”Well then! England here we come!” Ed and Mike said together behind us. The flight went fast cause we had so much fun on the plane. We landed in London and Patrick's mom was there and some her friends to drive us all back to the school.
”Well we still have the summer before school starts again!” Lisa said.
”Let's make this the best summer ever” I said looking at Martin.
”Trust me, it will be” we all laughed and after an hour and a half I could see the school again and it felt like I was home.