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Fabula Imperium (Story of Power)
October 30, 2012
Summary:
Contains a dose of interesting characters, a plethora of scy-fi devices, and a touch of power-hungry psychopaths bent on destroying the human race.
Enjoy.
Andrew W.
Fabula Imperium (Story of Power)
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This book has 37 comments.
GuardianoftheStars GOLD said...
on Jan. 24 2013 at 9:35 am
A very capturing story line is going on that reminds me or X-men or something. Very good. I wanted to know more.
Crunchman99 SILVER said...
on Jan. 7 2013 at 4:59 pm
Thanks for the advice, I might have to try that. The thing is, I've halted posting for a while because I want some feedback on Aegis Infernum first. For everyone else; it's on my page, and I would like to know if you want to see that first, or the ending of this one first.
. said...
on Jan. 1 2013 at 2:02 am
If your story's not going through here, there's a teen writing site called Figment where you can post books without delay. It's pretty cool and there's lots of people offering feedback there.
Crunchman99 SILVER said...
on Dec. 31 2012 at 5:42 pm
Okay, about not posting anything in the last month... Well, TeenInk is kind of screwing me here. I've posted something completely new, but they won't validate it, either on purpose or by some fluke. Something is coming; don't worry. It might just take a while to get there.
I like the original names, the and the story. It was pretty well written, the dialogue needs a little work, it's somewhat abrubt and not very believable. The notes that yout put in the story I kind of don't like, if you use notes, you should have some kind of a sybole beside the parragraph, and then at the bottom of the page, write the notes. Otherwise a fine book.
Chapters 20-21: I feel guilty about the comment-per-chapter wall spam I've been doing, so I'll start lumping chapters together. These chapters were really suspenseful and the point-of-view changing was fluid and well-written. It was a tad confusing what Arcus does in Chapter 21 when he's down (uses his electric powers to melt the bullet in midair, causing the molten metal?) Sorry again about the comment clutter
Crunchman99 SILVER said...
on Dec. 17 2012 at 10:03 pm
Okay, seriously, when is TeenInk going to validate my new submission already?! Sorry for the delay, expect something totally new coming soon. Well, hopefully soon. It's been like a week, maybe two.
Crunchman99 SILVER said...
on Nov. 25 2012 at 9:40 am
That's funny, I never even thought about Leo being that similar. Now that you point it out, they're basically carbon copies of each other. It must've been my subconscious or something. Of course there are more chapters, but writing has been put on hold for the moment. You know... Halo 4 and some other stuff :)
I really liked it, even though it didn't really, in my opinion, have a proper ending. Are there more than 19 chapters? I don't ever really know what's up with Milla. What is her power? And I could tell that your Leo was exactly the same as the one in Percy Jackson. His character is identical, as well as his name and backstory. Good story- tell me when there is more!
Chapter 17: Compared to the rest, Mila's portrait seemed just a tad underdeveloped. I think it would be cool for her to practice with her powers like Annie, Shadix, and Leo were doing. Has she ever seen the ocean? (That was kind of random but it might make for an interesting flashback-character-development-thingy)
Chapter 14: this was a pretty sweet change in perspective, and definately the best chapter so far. Annie has just about every teenager's dream power- actual air guitar. But I liked how you took that and the scene evolved into a reflection about her family to the violin to the birds to her friends. The last line, "hoping against hope," was kind of cliche but that was miniscule.
Chapter 13: Do you think that if Arcus were to go out and about, he would put on a disguise? That might be pretty funny. I liked this chapter, especially the descriptions of skyscrapers. I'm starting to wonder why the bad guys have been so quiet. Too quiet....
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"What is literature<br /> but the illumination of that which I would write?" -Rider Strong