The Ballad of a Madman
-First Movement-
There was a quaint little cafe that stood at the corner of Scarborough and Burbank, and it was there where I chose to spend my afternoons watching the people go by outside. Its furnishings were modest, its prices fair, its people...reasonable.
I sat every day at the same table in the corner by the window, nursing a cup of tea and staring out at the passersby. In particular I noticed one woman coming out of a hat shop across the road. I couldn’t help thinking she was beautiful.
Ordinarily, I’d never trifle myself with such useless thoughts...but the way her thick red hair flowed down her shoulders, and her emerald eyes glittered as they looked back across the road into my dull grey pair.
I really couldn’t help it.
I blinked a few times to clear my vision, as I had started to drift into a foggy haze thinking about such an exquisite creature, when I noticed she had disappeared.
Standing up, I moved out from my little corner. In my haste, I managed to knock over the chair in which I had previously sat.
Ignoring the shriek of disapproval from the cafe owner as it clattered to the tiled floor, I hurried out the door and frantically looked down the street for the beautiful woman.
My search was not in vain, for there she stood about halfway down the road on the opposite side of the street. She was clad in long velvet green dress, appropriate for this time of year for it was rather cold, and a stylish houndstooth peacoat.
She clicked down the sidewalk on shoes unviewable to the eye but that one could assume had heels. Something about her seemed to exude wealth, and that was a tad off-putting to me as I had never cared much for money (I got along just fine on the odd job or two).
Perhaps it was that her neck and wrists seemed to drip with jewels, or that everywhere she walked left a cloud of perfume. All I knew was that I had to talk to her. Yes. I must try to talk to her at the very least. What good would it do to let her slip away?
I hurried across the street, much to the dismay of oncoming traffic, as there were several honks and shouts of protest as I neglected the use of the provided crosswalk.
In no time at all I had caught up with her. It was after all, difficult to miss her alluring presence. Walking just fast enough so that my steps fell into line with hers, I attempted a greeting. “Good afternoon my lady” I put forth with what I hoped was confidence. (Later upon reassessment I determined it would actually be judged as nervousness).
“A good afternoon to you too sir…?” her smooth voice inquired.
“F-Faust, Emery Faust at your service miss…?” I managed.
“Thackery, Delilah Thackery at yours.” she said.
We talked about this and that as we continued down the street, taking a few turns left and right but mostly staying on the same road. She mentioned that her uncle was the owner of a huge company and she lived with her aunt and uncle, and that she enjoyed *static noise*. I, as some men tend to do by accident when a particularly beautiful woman is talking, began to tune her out to focus on her face.
She had sharp features, a prominent nose and chin. High cheekbones and merciless eyebrows. Her eyes up close were still deep green emerald orbs that glittered with flecks of gold. Her lips a painted ruby red. “-aust…? Mr. Faust are you listening?” She directed at me confusedly. I snapped out of it.
“Yes Ms. Thackery?” I uttered, trying to cover up my bewilderedness.
“I do believe this is my house.” She said with a quiet, feminine laugh.
We had come to a halt (god knows where as for once I hadn’t been paying attention) in front of a large brick building that appeared to be luxury apartments. Imposing windows lined the front and sides of it, and a tall dark wooden door served as an entrance.
Ms. Thackery was already up the first few steps to the building when I shouted out “Wait!”. She looked back at me, a bit confused.
“Yes Mr. Faust?”. “I do hope I’ll see you again…” I said blushing. She smiled thoughtfully down at me from the top of the steps.
“I hope I’ll see you again too.”. And with that, the wooden doors opened with invisible hands, and she stepped inside. Then she was gone from my vision. It seemed as if the world had lost its color.
I started home, not quite knowing what direction that was, but started walking in the opposite direction the beautiful woman, or now I suppose, Ms. Thackery had lead me.
I trudged along, thinking about her. She had captivated me so thoroughly that she seemed to numb all my senses. Now that she was gone I was back to being harshly aware of everything going around me. That boy picking the businessman’s pocket. That cat about to knock a potted plant off a windowsill behind me. I missed  the numbness, I hoped I would find her again soon,
Once home, I removed my shoes and coat, changed into my sleepwear, and clambered into bed. I fell asleep easily that night. My dreams full of the beautiful Delilah Thackery.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months.
It had been three months since I had last seen Ms. Thackery. I still sat every day in my corner in the little cafe. And every day when I stared out onto the people walking by, my eyes glazed over them like the glaze on the raspberry scone I picked at.
I never paid any attention to them anymore. Instead I spent my days combing up and down the street with my eyes in search of Ms. Thackery. But to no avail.
My life continued in monotonous repetition for some time. Three months turning into six months and six months turning into nine months before nine months turned into a year. One whole year without seeing the beautiful Ms. Thackery.
In effort to deal with this loss, my mind had now moved her to the back of my thoughts.
It was another Thursday afternoon in the dreary month of January when at last I spotted her. The exquisite Ms. Delilah Thackery. However…Oh no. She had a man with her.
Tall in stature, with peculiar white curly hair. She lavished all her attention upon him as they walked down the street outside the cafe, not even pausing once to look up at my pleading eyes. I knew I must do something. But what?
I knew I wanted to see her very badly, but if I rushed up to her on the street I would look ever so desperate. Plus in front of that male companion of hers I wouldn’t dream about it. It would be absolutely pathetic. I must try a different plan.
I watched her go quite a ways down the road before she stopped to go inside a fashionable clothing boutique. Her male companion following happily after her.
I was beginning to hate him. I felt so silly. Jealous? Me? How unbecoming. I shook my head to myself in disgust. I would never sink so low to such a common feeling. No. What I was feeling was perfectly logical. I was merely feeling protective of Ms. Thackery. What was she doing walking around with this strange man? How did they come to meet?
Ugh. Who was I to make such assumptions? After all I had only talked to her for about an hour in total. I was just as bad as this strange new male companion.
Making up my mind I paid for my tea and once again found myself hurrying out that cafe door, only this time I didn’t knock anything over.
What am I doing? What are you thinking you crazy man? I thought to myself as I walked briskly down the street in the direction of Ms. Thackery. Suddenly I heard her voice talking to the shop owner as he rang up her purchases.
“Will that be all miss?”
“Yes, thank you.”.
Quickly I ducked into an alleyway just past the shop and hid behind some large cardboard boxes. Listening as she walked by, I filled with rage as I heard her begin to praise her strange male companion. And for doing what? He was just walking along beside her with that stupid grin on his face.
I looked around. Hiding behind garbage to watch a lady…What have you reduced yourself to Emery?
Shamefully, I returned home. Waiting until Ms.Thackery had long since walked by my alleyway hiding spot and into the unknown.
I sat by the fireplace that night, staring intently into the flickering flames as if their red and orange tongues licking into the logs that held them in place. Maybe if I stared hard enough they would give me an answer as to what I should do.
Think Emery...what can you do?
I sat there for quite a while, drifting in and out of consciousness.
Then it came to me. I knew exactly what I would do. I had to dispose of that new male companion of hers.
Naturally I’d have to do the deed quietly, so as not to raise suspicion to myself and so dear Delilah would in no way associate the death with me. Yes. Then after all was said and done, her attention would be back on me.
You’ve really outdone yourself this time…
Thinking to myself as I finally settled under the covers for a dreamless sleep.
Tomorrow night I would carry out my plan.
-Second Movement-
The next day was relatively uneventful. I had spent the morning and afternoon gathering what I would need for the evening, and was now sitting once again by the fire. Restlessly tapping my foot, I reminded myself that nerves would do no good in this situation. A calm mind must be kept in order for this to go successfully.
Walking down the street towards Ms.Thackery’s house, I reviewed the plan in my head.
First I would  break into Ms.Thackery’s house. Then, I would carefully sneak up on that...man, and slit his throat. No no that was too bloody, too much evidence. I shall poison his food...Yes.
Then I would carefully return home, being sure to leave no evidence behind lest the authorities are summoned.
Lastly, if all goes according to plan, I will have her full attention. Thinking to myself with a smirk.
Continuing down the street, I came to a stop at what I confidently assumed was Ms.Thackery’s house. Confident I was in assuming this was her place of residence, for I had followed her home earlier this morning just to be sure.
Dressed in a long black peacoat and dark pants, I melted into the darkness of night as I scaled the fire escape stairs conveniently located on the side of her building in an alleyway. (Ms. Thackery’s apartment building was, as mentioned before, a tall brick building. However it stood in one long street of buildings separated by alleys on each side).
Sweeping my shaggy blond hair out of my eyes, I pushed my glasses up my nose and peered into the window which was luckily Ms.Thackery’s room. *Ahem* well maybe not luckily. I guessed it was hers since when she left me on the sidewalk those fateful months ago, she disappeared into her building. As I stood stunned by her beauty for who knows how long, I noticed this particular window open.
Anyway… I climbed onto the window-ledge with care, affirming that my black leather boots were firmly secure so as to prevent my untimely death from falling a few stories down.
Carefully sliding the window up and open (after picking the lock), I ducked into the apartment.
My theory that this was Ms.Thackery’s apartment was correct. As I walked further in to what appeared to be her living room, I saw him on the couch, fast asleep.
Laying there not a care in the world. Messy unkempt black hair. Very poor hygiene from the odor of his breath. What could she possibly see in a man like this?
I cautiously crept towards her small kitchen, which adjoined the living room and was separated only by a small island counter with chairs. I opened and closed various cabinets in the search for a suitable substance with which to poison him.
I found a nice brand of dish detergent and poured some in his food. It was the clear sort so it wasn’t like it was noticeable or turned the food blue. Once I had added it, I went to put it away but could not remember which cabinet it belonged to.
I gently opened various cabinets again, trying to locate its proper place amongst other soaps. If I was to be a murderer, I’d be a thorough one
Suddenly, one cabinet I opened had been filled with boxes of pasta and rice. Keywords had been.
Whoever had put these groceries away had done a bad job because they immediately fell on top of me. Much to my dismay the boxes emitted a loud noise not unlike that of a hundred maracas.
I’ve never winced so hard.
-Third Movement-
“Hello?” Ms.Thackery called sleepily from what logically should be her bedroom.
I cursed myself internally. There was nowhere to go now. I was trapped. The lights turned on. *expletive*
“Mr...Mr. Faust?” Ms.Thackery yawned at me in shock.
“U-uh I can...Explain?” I stuttered out nervously.
“I should hope that you can!” she cried out in frustration. “What in heaven’s name are you doing in my...locked apartment?! How did you get in here?” she said, voice beginning to rise in volume and ferocity. She looked over to him and then down at his food. “Are you trying to poison my...my dog? What are you trying to do with Rex?” Ms.Thackery rushed over to what was now revealed to be her sleeping canine companion. Unharmed and well, albeit a terrible watchdog.
“Y-your dog?” I stuttered once more. It...it had never occured to me. I was so taken with her beauty that it never registered that he was her...dog. I had been jealous of a dog the whole time.
“GET OUT!” Ms.Thackery screeched. She ran over to the door and unlocked it, unceremoniously shoving me out into its merciless cold hallway. “I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!”
That really shook me. All those promises of meeting again for naught? I had hoped when I saw the glimmer in her eye the first time I saw her that we’d be together forever. But it seemed fate was a cruel mistress, even crueler so than Ms.Thackery.
Once leaving her apartment building that night. I never again saw Ms. Delilah Thackery and her black Russian Terrier Rex.